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So TMZ has unearthed a prison letter that Aaron Hernandez wrote to some female pen pal, and it is insane:

BLATT!!! He showed her!! That man went to three years of college. I just let out a big LOL at people who think college athletes shouldn’t be getting paid because they’re “students.”

First of all, I love how fat Aaron Hernandez is now. Before:

After:

For all the people whining about how inhumane our prison system is, this is exhibit A of why you are all morons. America is the only country on earth where you get your own room with a television and you get fatter on the inside.

We’ve got a bunch of sources from the prison in Shirley who have confirmed to us that this guy eats a shitload of table talk pies. He’s already 100% balls deep in the gang life, he regrets nothing, he’s learned absolutely nothing, and he’s still obsessed with keeping it real. And I guess one of the perks of being such a bad ass is that you can extort pies from other prisoners.

But seriously, how delusional is Aaron Hernandez? I loved this part:

“I know who I am and all you fake fans who was so easily convinced by the media.”

Yea, that’s it. The media convinced us. It wasn’t the fact that you were seen going into an industrial park with Odin Lloyd, only to re-emerge five minutes later without Odin Lloyd. Oh yea, and they found Odin Lloyd’s body in that same industrial park. Oh yea, and it was two minutes from your house and your home security system has videos of you bringing a gun back into the house immediately afterwards. We don’t think you’re guilty because you left possibly one of the most obvious bread crumb trail of clues on your way from Lloyd’s home in Boston to North Attleborough. Yea, that’s not why we think you’re guilty. It’s all the media. That’s it.

I love how he thinks he’s mentoring this woman too. Like, she’s the dumb one for giving him her address. Ummm, you gave up the greatest life possible to rot in a prison cell in Shirley. But please, tell me more about why she’s the stupid one.

And how bout all those ways he listed to kill herself? This guy is one twisted mofo!! Hanging yourself and tying a cinderblock to her leg before jumping in the ocean are pretty standard ways to take your own life. But taping firecrackers to your face and exploding them? LOL. Because normal people have minds that work like that.

I can understand the love he’s still got for Brady and Gronk (who wouldn’t?) but what is his beef with Bob Kraft all about? Dude gave him a gigantic contract and drafted him when no one else wanted anything to do with him. For that he repaid Bob Kraft by killing fifty people. And now Bob Kraft is an asshole because he wasn’t loyal to him? Like, what was he supposed to do? Weekend visits to Shirley with the grandkids? Did he want him to keep him on the payroll and reserve a spot for him on the 53 man roster? And how many times has Brady and Gronk visited his ass?

Also love how he calls Bob Kraft fake. He’s definitely in a good position to call someone else fake. Because it’s not like Aaron Hernandez was leading a double life as a charitable NFL superstar while moonlighting as a gangland hitman or anything like that.

All I gotta say is, how dumb is Shayanna Jenkins? She’s still loyal to this guy. She still visits him all the time. She still walks around the visitor’s room in Shirley with her Gucci bag acting like her shit don’t stink. Bitch, your baby daddy is in jail. He’s not in the NFL anymore. He’s just another loser in the can, and you’re just another hoochy-momma who hitched her wagon to a criminal. You could’ve easily distanced yourself from him after you found out he was a murderer, but instead you assisted in his failed attempt to cover up the crime and committed some of the greatest perjury in the history of law and order.

The most selfish part about this whole thing is what Aaron Hernandez did to his poor daughter. The little girl was about to have everything in life. She was living in a great town, in a huge house, and she’d never have to worry about anything for the rest of her life. She’d get to go to college and she wouldn’t have to fuck a professional athlete in order to have these things like her mom did.

But now it’s all gone. Now she’ll just be another statistic. Another child from a single family home whose mother cares more about her asshole boyfriends than she does about her daughter. Aaron Hernandez was going to jail no matter what. He could’ve had his lawyers put all his money into a trust fund for his daughter so that she could have the life she deserved. But instead he dumped it all into lawyers in a case that had no shot of ending up with anything less than a guilty verdict.

No one deserves to be fat and never have sex again for the rest of his life more than Aaron Hernandez.

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