Turtleboy Investigates

13 Reasons You Should Realize 13 Year Old Zavion Parker Wasn’t Really Kidnapped By A Group Of White Supremacist Gingers

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ABC 13A teenage boy was kidnapped from a bus stop Monday afternoon, and was found running away from suspects with torn clothes and no shoes, according to Houston police. Michelle Lee, the victim’s mother, called police when her 13-year-old son Zavion Parker never returned home from school. As officers were gathering information, Parker was found safe, but had gone through a very traumatic experience. The 6th grade victim told authorities that shortly after he got off the school bus, five teenage boys approached him on Greenwich and Rhobell Street, and forced him into a 4-door vehicle decorated with flames on the side. Parker told authorities that the teenage boys, accompanied by one adult male driver, took him to a vacant house or cabin and assaulted him.The suspects reportedly took his jacket, shoes, phone and keys. Lee says she received threatening messages from her sons’ phone saying they were going to “kill him.

Parker told Eyewitness News when the group went into another room to load an alleged gun, he ran as fast as he could. A witness, Camecia Carmouche, was driving down Wayside near the Northeast YMCA when she spotted the teen running with a torn shirt and no shoes. Carmouche immediately called police. HPD says the suspected driver is described as a white man, heavy built, with straight orange hair and a racial tattoo on his arm. According to Parker, the statement on the suspect’s arm says, “I hate black people.” Lee says because of the tattoo she believes her son was targeted because of his race. Parker was checked out after the incident, and is doing better. Lee wants the suspects caught, and to warn parents to keep a close watch of their children.

There it is folks. The fakest fake hate crime of all time. I mean, we already knew you could get mobs of nudniks on the Internet to believe just about anything, but I figured there had to be some sort of limit. Little Zavion Parker proved me wrong though. If you tell a story about murderous white supremacists, no matter how unbelievable and clearly fake your story is, people will automatically believe you. Because it fits their narrative that America is being taken over by white supremacists during the era of Trump. The only thing this kid forgot to do is mention how the kidnappers all had MAGA hats on.

And just like that the “group of white supremacists targeting black people to torture and kill” story began to spread like wildfire:


But please, tell me more about how the Russians are the ones responsible for fake news. Americans and the mainstream blue checkmarkerd media never lie about incendiary things that are intended to divide the population along racial lines. Ever.

Why hasn’t this made national headline? Obviously there’s only one logical conclusion here – it’s because Zavion is black of course….

Duh. Because 13 year old black kids getting kidnapped by murderous white supremacists just isn’t news in 2018.

Here’s your Top 13 reasons you should’ve realized this was a fake hate crime….


13. Everyone knows Boston is the most racist city in the country

If this were true then it would destroy Jemele Hill’s livelihood. Stop picking on Jemele!!


12. One of the kidnappers had an “I hate black people” tattoo

No. Just no. No white supremacist in the history of white supremacy has ever gotten a tattoo so basic. If you heard this part and still believed the kid’s story it’s because you wanted to believe the story.


11. People actually live in the house where it allegedly went down

And as you can see some very responsible parents are already protesting outside of these people’s home.

“This is where Zavion was kept. They have removed the bodies. They have removed everything. The owners say they don’t know anything, but I’m letting you all know that there’s no way they didn’t know about what was going on in them shacks.”

If you’re not convinced by a random chick on Twitter claiming that they’ve destroyed multiple bodies from a shack then you must be racist. What more proof do you need?


10. If this actually happened it would be the biggest deal ever, not just covered by some moronic no-name reporter out of Dallas

This chick seems to be the only MSM reporter giving this story any credence:

You know you’re dealing with a fake hate crime when even the Huffington Post won’t touch your story with a ten foot pole. But Erica Simon and her blue checkmark, have gotten hundreds of thousands of retweets and a whole bunch of new followers. I smell a promotion!!


9. He miraculously escaped when the entire group went to get their gun

There were five kidnappers in poor Zavion’s story, and a sixth waiting for him at the murder garage. Naturally they forgot their gun in the other room, and instead of just one person retrieving it, all six of them had to go together to retrieve one gun. Luckily street smart Zavion jumped at this opportunity and got the hell out of there just in the nick of time. Yup, this story checks out.


8. “Our son was targeted because of his race”

Houston is about 25% black. But zip code 77078 where the kidnapping took place is not:

Yea, there’s like, no white people in that neighborhood. Pretty much everyone is black or Hispanic. Nevertheless Zavion was OBVIOUSLY targeted because as a young black male, he clearly sticks out like a sore thumb in a sea of young black males. Oh, and in this neighborhood with almost no white people, no one else noticed a truck full of white boys with flames on the side, one of whom had an “I hate black people” tattoo looking for black kids to kidnap and kill for no reason.


7. It’s been 6 days and the cops somehow have not found a vehicle covered in flames

But it’s OK because known race baiting racist Tariq Nasheed is on the case….

How does he know that’s the murder truck? Someone on the Internet said it is, and the kid confirmed it….

In other words, the kid made up this story and hit the jackpot when some gullible idiot found a truck with flames on it and sent it to Tariq. Yet this person who took the image didn’t think to call police or provide any sort of context about where the truck was found. They were also kind enough to blur out the license plate. Because why would we want to use the most identifiable thing on a vehicle in order to identify who owns it?


6. Mom received phone calls and text messages from the kidnappers threatening to kill him


This is amazing. This little booger texted his gullible mother and pretended like he was about to be lynched. Why would kidnappers plotting to kill him give Mom a bread crumb of trails that police could easily trace before they finished the job? Apparently because they just like the thrill of it.


5. There are 6 suspects and all of them are gingers

Not one blonde or brunette in the bunch. Six evil gingers (although that’s a little redundant because everyone knows all gingers are evil). Do you know what the odds of six gingers getting together in the same time and same place is?



4. At first Zavion said there were already three dead black people in the house

Seriously? Three dead black people when no black people in that area are reported missing, and this didn’t raise any flags with anyone? It’s almost like people want to believe this is true.


3. This is your star witness

And she didn’t actually witness the kidnapping, she just witnessed Zavion running down the street with a torn shirt that could’ve been torn for a billion different reasons.

Nuff said.


2. If this were true it would be the biggest story ever

Picture the Washington Post or New York Times not reporting on this. Shit, even Shaun King hasn’t taken the bait on this one, and he’ll retweet pretty much anything.


1. This is all coming from a 13 year old boy

I was born in the wrong era. Back in my day everyone knew that 13 year old boys had a tendency to lie to their mothers. Especially when they did some shit they weren’t supposed to do. But nowadays the word of a lone 13 year old boy is all the proof people need. No matter how unbelievable that story actually is. What probably happened was little Zavion was up to no good with his friends, had to come up with a lie on the spot, texted his Mom this story only a mother would believe, and Twitter and Facebook took it from there.

36 Comment(s)
  • Henry Fool
    August 17, 2018 at 6:37 am

    Do you know what the odds of six gingers getting together in the same time and same place is?
    I’d always assumed that Gingers clotted in their free time.

    So, is this a hate crime against Whites?

  • Wabbitt
    May 22, 2018 at 8:12 am

    When I started reading this I thought, “I don’t know TB. This IS Texas after all.” Then got to the part about the perp being large, ginger, driving a truck with flames on it, with “I hate black people” tattooed on his arm.

    Dude… kid… at least make it believable. If that guy actually existed, he’d stick out like my pecker when I’m watching Asian porn. He would have been arrested inside of an hour. I mean – at least be a little vague. He was average height with dark hair and driving a black truck. That would at least sound credible, and it would be all over the lame stream media. Shaun King would be frothing at the mouth! Didi would be demanding reparations from all of Houston!

  • EvilGinger HeadMan
    May 22, 2018 at 4:53 am

    Why hasn’t a GoFundMe been started yet for poor little nigger liar Zavion & his monkey face mamma

  • Malcom Y
    May 21, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    If packs of racist black supremacists were attacking whites and asians every day, murdering them, would that be a story? Blacks and Spanish fighting to the death over street corner supremacy. Blacks killing blacks in every major city at a rate that would equal 50 mass shootings a weekend. Nothing to see here folks, underprivileged people of color doing their thang.

  • Brian Williams U Can Trust Me
    May 21, 2018 at 8:37 pm

    I was in that shack with Lester when the Ginger White Racists fired Ak 47’s and RPG rockets at us.

    • Wabbitt
      May 22, 2018 at 8:17 am

      Full semi-automatic assault rifles with bump stocks and chainsaw attachments that fire at 900 rounds a minute?

  • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
    May 21, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    Yeah nice lie, true nationalists would have slit this kid’s throat and hung him from a tree pretty much right away. Great work as always, TB – these clowns wanna come at a white power blog they’d better not miss.

  • Tawana Brawley
    May 21, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    6 gingers all together… well come on now. You know dam well they would have still been there in that shack when the cops arrived. Drunk as skunks fighting or passed-out, maybe a few od’s and at least one dead from a stabbing over smoking more than their share of the marijuana or meth or heroin or crack or hash.

    Gingers aren’t that organized, it would have required a 7th person with dark hair. Only question remaining is what was sweet little tyrone up to that he had to concoct this Tawana Brawley type story.

    I blame Kathy Griffith, isn’t she a jew?

    • Al Sharpton
      May 21, 2018 at 6:50 pm

      DON’T MOVE! I’ll be right there

  • Smell my beard
    May 21, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    6 gingers kidnapped him? O’DOYLE rules!!

  • bigdaddy
    Kevin Cullen
    May 21, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    Still story sounds very believable to me

    • Shirley Leung
      May 21, 2018 at 5:22 pm

      #MeToo Kevin, #MeToo

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        Mike Barnicle
        May 21, 2018 at 5:55 pm

        Sounds legit.

  • bigdaddy
    May 21, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    Has Fox 25 or David Wade interviewed him yet? They have been pretty slopping in vetting stories lately

  • Freddie Mercury
    May 21, 2018 at 4:41 pm

    Carmouche, carmouche, will you do the fandango?
    Sent a bolt of lightning, ginger very frightening me
    Oh Camecia, Camecia
    Camecia let me go
    I’m Zavion, and the ginger scared the balls off meeee, off meeee, off meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • Ginger Baker
    May 21, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    Oi, ever smoke tea an’ drop acid full stop ’til there are six o’ yer? Out of me tits, I was, thought the wee fucker was me ex-wife so I plans to shoot ‘er in a shed, I did. Left the room to mainline some speed an’ got so high that I vanished.

  • HumToAllah
    May 21, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    13 year old boi learning the strong hand pimp techniques that liberal whites and minority deadbeats have used as a tool for centuries. This gets old little baboon time to take accountability for your life and stop depending upon the evil whiteman to be your father and support you and your soon to be 4 or 5 baby mommas. If black lives matter stay home and be a father dont abandon your family and then blame whitey. Even animals dont abandon there young but in the hood 79% illegitimacy rate is a badge of honor and street cred.

  • Famous Gingers
    May 21, 2018 at 2:19 pm

    1.Prince Harry
    2. Adele
    3. Kathy Grffin
    4. Molly Ringwald
    5. Ed Sheeran
    6. Lucille Ball
    7. Jessica Rabbit
    8. Nicole Kidman
    9. Conan O’Brien
    10. Emma Stone

    Ginger women are famously batshit crazy, so my guess the perp is ether Kathy Griffin or Jessica Rabbit. Maybe Adele after a bad breakup with her boyfriend, yeah yeah that’s it, Adele

    • Farmer Ted
      May 21, 2018 at 2:27 pm

      I blame Molly Ringwald for not squatting on my dick.

    • Wabbitt
      May 22, 2018 at 8:22 am

      Emma Stone is a natural blonde. Julianne Moore, Jessica Chastain, or Ron Howard would have been better choices. Or my personal favorite – Isla Fisher.

  • z
    May 21, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Lots of gingers in the British Royal family. If it wasn’t for the wedding they’d be the prime suspects.

  • z
    May 21, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    No racial slurs written on him backwards?

    The last thing white supremacists are going to do is stick around in the hood in a pickup with a flame job. They’d be cruising the streets in a 2000 Sonata with tinted windows.

    “Hey!!! Look at me!!!! I’m a racist redneck!!!!” Driving a truck that was an embarrassment 20 years ago.

    Camecia Carmouche must think she is a Becky.

    • Morton Downey Jr.
      May 21, 2018 at 3:11 pm

      Hey, those Nazis used a dyslexic stencil!

  • deflateddoritodinks
    May 21, 2018 at 1:12 pm

    That’s why the KKK dressed up as ghosts.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    May 21, 2018 at 1:04 pm

    What the fuck kind of name is Zavion? Seriously. Do you think the mother was trying to call him Xavier but didn’t know how to spell it? Not one goddam baby name directory has this name on it’s list. Can you investigate that Turtleboy?

    • Three Eyed Frog Bat From Venus
      May 21, 2018 at 2:36 pm

      Zavion is a fine name for a Flarfnog from the Crab Nebula, but occasionally dark humanoids will choose it for their spawn after ingesting “sherm sticks” and “purple drank”.

      • HumToAllah
        May 21, 2018 at 3:14 pm

        Her other sons name is UrinE She liked the way it sounded on the medical chart

  • TJB
    May 21, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    The Houston PD will give this case first priority; as soon as they slay the fire breathing dragon in the downtown parking garage.

  • Paul Rogers
    May 21, 2018 at 12:14 pm

    Gingers can’t survive outdoors in zones 8 or 9 which is why they moved directly between the truck and the house and didn’t pursue him on foot.

    • Gandalf the Somewhat Peach Colored
      May 21, 2018 at 12:44 pm

      The fiends were trying to open the inter-ginger-dimensional gate with the sacrifice of a young heavily pigmented human when their plans became foiled, so they retreated back to the Hall of the Ginger King where mortals fear to tread.

  • Stunt Penis
    May 21, 2018 at 11:57 am

    IMO it is far more likely the mother concocted the entire story to get a payday.

    I’m surprised a gofundme isn’t already set up.

    Maybe she’s holding out for the book deal and movie rights?

    • Baldo Cuchino
      May 21, 2018 at 12:16 pm

      Please link the gofundme once it’s set up

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