Nudniks

Algonquin Students Who Streaked With Obama Masks At Hudson Football Game Don’t Understand The Rules Of Streaking

There are certain codes for streaking that these Algonquin students just violated by going full frontal at the Hudson-Algonquin football match. 

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A parent of a Hudson High School football player sent us this video of two Algonquin Regional High School students streaking across the field during the football game in Northboro:

There is a time and a place for streaking, and it’s called college. These kids are too young for streaking and just violated every code of streaking that has ever existed. Look, I respect the concept of streaking as an All-American tradition and rite of passage. But there’s a time and a place for full frontal nudity, especially if you’re giving the crowd cock shots. As you can see, the streaker who didn’t fall flat on his face turned to the crowd and gave them the full sunrise:

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There’s a penis in there somewhere, and therein lies the problem. No one wants to see a flaccid penis. They’re flabby, awkward looking, and disgusting. Keep in mind there are lots and lots of little kids at these games who are probably scarred for life now. And thats makes this no longer funny. Streaking is only OK if it’s funny. Like when you run through a crowded lecture hall at UMass while a test is being given because one of your friends paid you $5 to cause a distraction in order for him to cheat. These kids crossed the line from funny to nasty, and for that they should be punished.

From what we are told by our sources, one of the two kids is a soccer player for Algonquin, as is the student who acted as their getaway driver. This is interesting because Algonquin isn’t just good at boys soccer, they’re the most prolific program in the state. They’ve won five D1 Central Massachusetts championships in the last 10 years. For those of you counting at home, that’s half. Ya got that? They won half, and then everyone else split the rest. They’ve also won two state championships during that time.

What we wanna know is, if this is true are they suspended for the season? I don’t think a dumb prank like this should necessarily get them arrested, because it’s not fair to have some dumb thing you did when you were 17 turn you into an unemployable sexual deviant. But they should obviously not be playing soccer again this year. We have reached out to administration at Algonquin and anxiously await their non-reply.

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