Amherst Old Man Larry Kelley Thinks Spending $500,000 To Make Sure Kids Don’t Drink During Blarney Blowout Is A Victory

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WWLPThe Blarney Blowout at UMass didn’t turn out to be that big of a blowout with the crowds, but it came at a price.

It cost around $500,000 to keep the peace, a lot more money than it cost to pay for damages last year. University of Massachusetts officials were pleased with how peaceful the recent Blarney Blowout weekend was. 5200 students attended a concert Saturday afternoon featuring Ke$ha, Ludacris and Juicy J.

The concert alone cost more than $300,000Parking, staffing, ambulances and police cost at least another $30,000. UMass also paid former Boston Police Commissioner Ed Davis $160,000 to review last year’s events.

Devan Wagner, a UMass Senior said, “I think it was the big buildup, and you know we got a ton of emails about the concert, and they tried to distract us, I guess, from the whole big Blarney Blowout idea, and I think that definitely helped a lot with the arrests and everything.”

Last year, the overtime and pepper spray only cost taxpayers $23,000. More than $20,000 in property damage was also reported.

70 people were arrested last year, compared to 8 students getting arrested this year. 


So it looks like old man Larry Kelley won this round.

And it only cost him and his taxpaying townies in Amherst half a million dollars too!! Seriously, this moron thinks this is a good thing? Dude, if you brought in police from every town in Western MA and spent half a million bucks every weekend I would certainly hope you could stop kids from partying. Congratulations on having literally no life at all.

Oh yea, and did I mention that the Amherst bars weren’t allowed to be opened up until after 4? Normally they open real early in the morning, but not on Blarney Blowout weekend this year. Because when Larry Kelley causes a stink, your right to free enterprise goes out the window. No big deal, he just cost bars like Stackers and McMurphy’s, who pay tons of cash in taxes to the town of Amherst, thousands and thousands of dollars because they have no fucking clue how to run a municipality.

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How incompetent are the Amherst police exactly? They’re so bad at what they do that they literally had to pay Ed Davis $160,000 to come up with a plan to keep the campus “safe.” And of course that plan involved helicopters and a million cops getting overtime. Ed Davis must’ve been laughing all the way to the bank. These schmucks are gonna write me a blank check to keep kids from drinking? LOL. No problem. Next year we’ll run the bill up to $2 million and we’ll have the Navy Seals here. And all because of Larry Kelley and his infatuation with college kids drinking beer on the weekends. Money well spent indeed.

My question to UMass kids is, why not just have it next weekend? Fuck it. If they wanna spend all this time and effort to make sure you don’t have a good time at least make them pay for it. Literally do it every single weekend just so Larry Kelley’s property taxes go through the roof.

And what’s up with UMass kids going to this concert? Ludacris and Kesha? What were Busta-Rhymes and Ja Rule busy? Come on now, you all fell for the bait. You couldn’t pay me enough money to see Kesha in concert, never mind the geniuses who actually stood in line in the freezing cold so they could be the first one’s inside.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – if you’re a grumpy old dude who hates the fact that college kids are drinking beer in your town, then don’t move to Amherst. Seriously, there’s plenty of room in Granby or Leverett or South Hadley. Anyone who buys property in a college town and dedicates their life to making sure college kids don’t have any fun is an nudnik of epic proportions. So congratulations Larry, you ruined this kid’s Blarney Blowout:

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Look at that face Larry. You did that. Jokes on you because he got drunk anyway.

The bottom line is Larry Kelley thinks he won this round. You know how you can tell that this guy is a Grade A dooshnozzle? Because he linked Clive McFarlane in his latest blog post about Turtleboy on his shitty blog that no one reads. Everyone still hates you Larry.

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17 Comment(s)
  • Fist
    March 11, 2015 at 9:58 am

    Yea, great. UMass Amherst paid the bill, that means not only the town of Amherst paid for it, but the rest of the state did as well. Fuck you Larry. Who the fuck names their kid Larry anyways? Sounds like something you’d called a fucking parrot.

    • hotdogg
      March 11, 2015 at 12:28 pm

      Larry the Parrot? Yeah, you’re onto something there, brainiac.

      UMass footed the bill – a lot of it using student fees. So basically the idiots that cause the problems paid for it. Makes sense to me. Polly wants a cracker, fuckface.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 10, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    HD says: “who gives a fuck about anything he writes about?”
    Well, apparently you do since you responded with so much emotion.

    • Who Cares
      March 10, 2015 at 5:34 pm

      Who gives a fuck what you think, either?

  • hd
    March 10, 2015 at 3:10 pm

    also, larry’s blog doesn’t have a million fucking ads everywhere. get a job, loser!

  • hd
    March 10, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    turtle boy ain’t nothing but a troll. he’s got nothing! his response amounts to ‘it costs money to keep people safe and shit. derrrrrrp.’ yes, idiot, it costs money. and guess what – it worked. and don’t conflate the davis report expense with this. that’s the gazette driving it up (readership, suckas!).

    who is this turtleboy tool, anyway? who gives a fuck about anything he writes about? just another troll.

    at least larry is man enough to not hide behind anonymity like this loser. if you’re going to be such a public asshole, put your name on it turtle boy. also, turtle boy is just a terrible moniker.


    • Tom Brady
      March 10, 2015 at 4:07 pm

      Google Turtleboy Sports, check out the 4th and 5th result. You’ll find out who the scumbag really is.

      • Who Cares
        March 10, 2015 at 8:27 pm

        What does that mean?

      • Must be a Jets fan
        March 10, 2015 at 11:41 pm

        Change your fucking name dickwad!

        • Dickwad
          March 11, 2015 at 12:29 pm

          Done! Thanks for the feedback, trashcan balls!

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 10, 2015 at 6:02 am

    Oh boy Larry, don’t you have anything better to do? Maybe you need to get laid on occasion…

    • March 10, 2015 at 9:27 am

      Yeah, as though a Cowardly Anon Nitwit like yourself knows how that feels.

      • James
        January 23, 2017 at 2:24 pm

        Good job Larry, I’m a regular viewer of your blog. You did a good job of keeping these UMASS punks in check.

      • RogueOne777
        January 23, 2017 at 2:27 pm

        Turtle dick is mad because because he is just like those worthless punks who got there. The best thing to do is to take these miscreants and throw them off the top of Mount Holyoke when they act out.

  • March 9, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    Well actually, I did win this one. Kicked your ass doing it. But just for the record, UMass is paying the bill not the town of Amherst taxpayers. The six bars in town center who did not open until 4:00 PM Saturday did so voluntarily. In fact it was the owner/manager of McMurphy’s who came up with the idea.

    And normally those bars do not open “real early in the morning”. No bars in Amherst can open before 11:00 AM.

    We had 225 police officers in town all day/night Saturday. So to all the kids who say they partied privately and got just as drunk, that means you must have done so without bothering the neighborhood. Good job. Keep up the good work.

    • Biggie
      March 10, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      Turtle boy got schooled.

    • JayC
      March 10, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      You make it sound like no public funds went toward this. If UMass picked up the tab, then all the taxpayers got saddled with the bill, including those in the People’s Republic of Amherst. What ever are they going to do now? They’ll probably have to lay off some Dean of Community Affairs, External and Internal Relations, and Diverstiy
      And TB is right, what’s stopping a delayed Blarney Blowout now that they’ve pumped all those resources in to one weekend?

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