Nudniks

An Open Letter To The Hubristic High Society Hag Who Authored This Asinine Letter To The Editor: Young Struggling Families Aren’t The Problem In Chatham – You Are.

An Open Letter To The Hubristic High Society Hag Who Authored This Asinine Letter To The Editor: Young Struggling Families Aren’t The Problem In Chatham – You Are.

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Dear Beverly,

I, like many people who have connections to Cape Cod, read your lovely steaming pile of dog poo and entitlement in the Cape Cod Chronicle recently.  And, also, like many people, I have a lot to say about it. Unlike most people, though, I am a vulgar cunt with a decent audience. You probably don’t know who I am, or what I do here, because I imagine you don’t spend much time reading up on the opinions of the “common” people. By the time I’m through with you, you will know what we do here.

 

 

Out of touch, dusty old entitled twats like you are the reason the price of bread is so high on the Cape, and it’s not just as simple as sending off the untouchables to search for cake elsewhere.  Let’s get something straight – you are not a fucking resident. “Summer residents” are just vacationers who could afford to buy property. You are a tourist. You stay in Chatham 3, maybe 4 months out of the year and pay property taxes. You come with your purchasing power for a few scant months, and then you leave. Do you even know what you are leaving behind when the winds blow colder and the streets go empty?

You leave behind a bustling seasonal economy that, every autumn, grinds to a halt. As the days get shorter and the nights colder, businesses shut down. The roads packed with bumper-to-bumper traffic clear out, until Chatham’s summer population of 25,000 dwindles to just 6,726 hardy souls. You speak as if living on the Cape year round is a privilege, yet you flee as soon as the summer’s warmth fades and the postcard perception darkens. The shores that glisten under the summer sun become frigid and unforgiving. The ocean is an ever present, looming force – the placid waves that lap the sand give way to temperamental winter storms that wield the potential to ravage homes and businesses. Jobs dwindle, yet housing remains exorbitantly expensive and hard to find. It’s not just low income families who can’t afford to live year round on the Cape anymore, it’s most families. And I know this all too well, Beverly. Because years ago I was forced out of Chatham, and completely off Cape. The reason is quite simple to understand. The reason is you. Your “seasonal residency” has driven the cost of living to nearly 87% higher than the national average, to the detriment of the very people who keep the town operating. When the warm glow of the summertime fades, and the busy tourist season dies off, what remains is a cold, harsh and isolated reality, softened by a tight knit community and often, booze. This life is not for the faint of heart, and those strong enough to live it are not deserving of such contempt.

The summer months that you have chosen to spend basking in the unspoiled beauty of the picturesque coastline are supported by the labors of the young families you so strongly oppose supporting. They pump your gas, serve your food, keep the roads you travel maintained. When an October squall rips through your vacant summer home, they are the people you call to pick up the pieces and repair the damage. They ensure you have running water and electricity. They man the stores you shop. The Cape is your vacation, but long after the last sunburned tourist crosses the Bridge, this is their life. And it’s not an easy life. It’s a life lived in the perpetual cycle of a summer of feast followed by a winter of famine, always at the mercy of the mercurial sea and her whims. The ocean shimmering under the brilliant red-orange glows of the eastern sunrise is breathtaking. The ocean swallowing half of your home, less so. Unlike you, Beverly, the families who brave this isolated peninsula 12 months out of the year have nowhere else to go. There is no plan B. The fishing industry that once sustained so many is all but deceased, destroyed by stringent industry regulations built to favor large companies over the small, local, generational fisherman who once thrived on Stage Harbor. You, along with so many other “seasonal residents”, leave nearly half of the housing stock dark and vacant for the majority of the year. That is why young families can’t afford to live in Chatham, and so many other towns on the Cape, without some serious municipal intervention. Why so much of the workforce is relegated to temporary housing, motel rooms, homelessness. Your letter amounts to criticizing the combustibility of gasoline as you watch your house burn with a book of matches in your hand. You are the problem. You have driven the cost of living to the point of crisis. How quickly you forget, as you scrutinize what you perceive to be a waste of the scant tax dollars you pay out to the town, that your vacations lie contingent on those young families still brave enough to try and stay. You think a childcare grant and affordable housing is a burden? What do you think will happen when more and more workers have to be brought over the bridge to provide the services the Cape demands? Do you somehow think the cost won’t be transferred to the consumer, to you? Think again. This isn’t the usual issue with poor wages and employment rate generally associated with the conversation about affordable housing and other social welfare. Families making $50k to $100k a year are being pushed off Cape due to the disproportionate increase in cost of living. You aren’t attacking lazy, entitled people who want to leave outside their own means. You are attacking hard working families whose means are being stretched thin due to no fault of their own.

You really want to nickel and dime the use of your “hard-earned dollars?” Please. Look at you.

 

Those children aren’t wanting for much, that’s abundantly clear. Do you really want to contend that you need what precious little you pay in taxes to the small town of Chatham for their childcare? How hard-earned are your dollars, really, Bev?

Have you ever woken up before dawn to brave the vast, freezing blackness of the open sea? Stood on your feet in a drafty, dank old shanty, baiting hooks for hours until your hands are chapped and bleeding and your clothes are covered in the slimy, gelatinous stench of dead skate? Have you ever lumped bundles of shingles up precarious staging swaying in the wind, to work on a roof under the hot, blaring sun? Waited on a endless stream of tables full of hungry diners, who feel you aren’t entitled to so much as help with childcare, for 12 hours at a time? Are you going to personally care for the aging population that dominates the Cape in it’s current condition, as their bodies break down and their minds fail? That is the life of the families you feel so undeserving of the minuscule paradigm shifts you so resent – appropriate childcare for the future workers they are raising. Affordable, safe and stable housing to go home to after a long day of keeping things up and running until the mood strikes you to travel to the beach once again. Honestly, Beverly, you don’t look like you’d know true hard work if it bit you in the rear. And good for you, to be so fortunate. Not everyone knows the level of privilege that drips off every word you wrote, permeates every professional and polished family portrait you so proudly display. Some people have to work, truly work, to survive.  I am proud of my home, because it is a community of resilience, marked by generations of hard workers and indomitable spirits. These are not just struggling young families, they are struggling young families with 400 year old roots in the community. People who proudly preserve a culture and community unlike any other in the state. These are the people who protect exactly what draws hundreds of thousands of visitors per year in, year after year – a nostalgic time capsule seasoned by salt and sand; sweat and tears.

You asked why Chatham is on a different path than other communities in Massachusetts. The easy answer, Beverly, is because it is so different than other communities in Massachusetts. And if you can’t understand that, respect that, and be grateful to those strong enough to protect that, than maybe you should fucking summer in the Hamptons with the other crusty old elitist asshats.

75 Comment(s)
  • Jeff DePaolo
    April 4, 2019 at 10:43 am

    Eloquent? Hardly, just a bitter ex townie whose Daddy couldn’t hustle enough cash to afford to live there.
    People who own second homes there are residents as well, who spend a lot of money down on Cape and contribute to the community.

    • David Kent
      September 24, 2019 at 2:14 am

      Um, NO. They are tourists.

  • Medford Resident
    December 21, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Beverly Nelson’s letter is hard to take, but not surprising if you knew her. If you knew her you would know she was a public school teacher in Medford MA. She worked her way to Assistant Superintendent, where she ruled with the same kindness she expressed in her letter. A public educator wrote that letter; let that sink in.

    While an administrator in Medford, MA, she was vindictive, letting good teachers go who didn’t kowtow to her. She targeted hard-working teachers, playing with their lively hoods all while making sure her one child rose to head of the Humanities Department. That family in the picture with her was handed a high paying job by Beverly.

    She paved the way for her daughter, while overlooking qualified, well-deserving employees. All the while, making sure she punished those who vocalized their concern over the nepotism and favoritism she helped flourish in the city school system.

    Medford teachers were elated when she retired last year and are not at all surprised by the letter. She is a spiteful, vindictive person and I’m sorry Chatham has to put up with her.

  • Fuck you all
    December 19, 2018 at 2:58 pm

    Can’t believe all these faux-rich cunts in the comments. “Well maybe you should let the FREE MARKET handle it and have your town fall to ruin and come back in 15 years when supply and demand fixes the situation!”

    I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that one of the only decent pieces of content on this website in months is plagued by fat Boomers running their stupid mouths, with their brain damaged crab mentality.

    Yeah guys, it is truly the poor and other working people that are making your lives hard, and not the rich, the rich can never do any wrong because they are who you want to be! I wonder what happened to you people to make you so conditioned at hating other people like you, while people like Bev price you out of your houses for luxury.

    Can you all please kill yourselves? Thank you.

    • Boss Man
      December 19, 2018 at 5:08 pm

      Good job, now get back there and clean the womens and mens rooms and don’t forget the tampon dispenser and urinal cakes this time.

  • A.S
    December 19, 2018 at 9:02 am

    Thank you for posting this. I didn’t know you were from the Cape. 🙂 Both my husband and I grew up in Harwich and my family has owned a seasonal business in Harwich for 40+ years. My parents grew up and lived in Chatham their entire life, as well as their parents. The struggle is real. We were the first generation to decide to move off cape. We need higher paying and better year round jobs. We move doff-cape in 2013. Both is us were sick of having to work 2 jobs to just pay the rent..now and love this area but long to move back home and raise a family where we grew up. but it’s not an option for us.

  • T. Kennedys Driving School
    December 18, 2018 at 7:55 pm

    Why doesn’t Bev just go on the RMV site and make Chatham her primary residence?
    Spend 4 months there as usual, then a couple of long weekends in January and March?
    Now you’re a full time resident.
    Dad can be a Natick resident in an apartment for the kids real schooling.
    Also the golden arm goblins on the cape would love to know Bev’s cape address.
    I bet they’re not
    “Home” tonight.

  • Turd Ferguson
    December 18, 2018 at 11:14 am

    This is why I love Turtleboy. A healthy debate with colorful language. It’s probably one of the best places to comment using “CUNT” in every other sentence and yet, still be appreciated for it in a cunty sort of way.

    This lady is a CUNT! CUCUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUCCUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, UNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, NT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!, NT! CUNTY-CUNT!, CUNT! CUNT! CUNTY-CUNT!

    There, I said it, CUNT… I feel so much better. Thank you TB! Turtle fag. ha! Love you!

    • John Fucking Kerry
      December 19, 2018 at 5:17 pm

      Well said Sir! Bravo!

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    December 18, 2018 at 11:05 am

    Why dont they leave property taxes alone and implement a seasonal tax (May-Sep) on service businesses that is used to “help”. Although, the cape makes a fuck ton of money from tourists and if you can’t figure out how to benefit, well…. And keeping property taxes low would help residents. Percentage-wise, Cape taxes aren’t that high, it’s property valuation that makes thhe total high. Compare that to The Woo. LOL

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      December 18, 2018 at 11:11 am

      That being said, I have no sympathy for people who own more than one property whining about anything.

      • Tony Dow
        December 18, 2018 at 11:54 am

        Not all vacation home owners are millionaires. We made sacrifices, lots of em, to be able to have ours. So you’re ok with paying taxes with no rights as property owners? Kinda un American , no? Doesn’t mean you can’t complain about how the revenue gets spent. I knew about no rights going in but after you get a load of how they spend it and how it’s never enough (sound familiar,?)it gets frustrating.

    • Washashore
      December 18, 2018 at 11:27 am

      ” Implement a seasonal tax “. Outside the box thinking Hugh most impressive. But towns would just jack of taxes on other things to cover the difference. Have to pay for the methadone clinics and free needle exchange programs…

      • Pappabear
        December 20, 2018 at 5:42 pm

        Fuck you! Oh heavy is your head. Did you have to forgot a new beamer every year to afford a second home. Go fuck yourself. Sacrifices you wouldn’t know what a real sacrifice is if it bit you in the ass!!!! We here sacrifice. We choose no cable so our kids can play a sport, or we skip EATING! So our kids eat. Those are small sacrifices. What you sacrifice to have a second home is a joke!!! No one forced you to purchase a second home so sell it and leave or kill yourself either way I’d be thrilled.

  • Ken
    December 18, 2018 at 11:02 am

    Well done! That was a powerfull. 

  • Washashore
    December 18, 2018 at 9:03 am

    Plus:
    Beautifully written, just gorgeous. And lo and behold, to my utter amazement not one spelling error. See TBS bloggers it can be done…
    Delta:
    For a blog constantly whining about free speach God forbid someone exercises theirs and you don’t agree with it. Tolerance…Bitching about taxes is as American as cheating on your taxes. 2000$ of what I pay in property taxes goes to local schools. I don’t have any kids going to schools here why the fuck should I pay? Besides its wasted money because they”re fucking dumb. While Chatham has one of the lowest propery tax rates on the Cape (4.87) don’t be fooled. Ever see the median price of a house listed for sale in Chatham? Those people pay a shitload in propery tax. Now for Bev and her friends whining about affordable housing I have an easy solution for you. Trailer parks. Imagine a nice big trailer park in Chatham.

  • Drylaw
    December 18, 2018 at 6:41 am

    She needs some TB safe sex!

  • Independent Thinker
    December 18, 2018 at 6:26 am

    I have to agree with the letter writer. People with summer residences in communities pay a huge amount of taxes to a community where they are only there a few months out of the year. They use few, if any services, and they have no say in how the money is spent.

    If I owned rental property down there, I wouldn’t want to rent it out full-time, because it would be too difficult to evict someone not paying rent or trashing the place or dealing drugs.

    • Bev isn’t all wrong
      December 18, 2018 at 8:17 am

      Owned a house in a vacation spot, not the cape for many years. Agree with bev about being taxed with no say. The town I was in raised their taxes significantly over the 20 years I was there but the neighboring towns did not raise them equally. Of All the local towns mine become the most expensive by far.. I used zero town services except town water but just shut up and pay. The resentment from the locals was insane yet they failed to realize without the massjoles their town would dry up. Had more ft cops than my home town and after Labor Day the place was ghost town. So they paid these guys all year for the 10-12 weeks they were needed. All they did was drive around, seek ma plates, pull over, ticket and arrest for oui. It wasn’t protect and serve it was get the massholes. Then they wanted a new 6 million dollar station Yeah see ya. I miss the beauty of the area but as a non resident you def get it tucked to you. Not rich, struggled to buy and keep just realized it wasn’t worth it. Hate on bev all you want but it sucks not having a say in anything.

      • Who Is John Galt?
        December 18, 2018 at 10:33 am

        This perfectly describes my place in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire.

        • Bev isn’t all wrong
          December 18, 2018 at 11:43 am

          And let me tell you about our association…….biggest collection of a hole f wads I ever met. Glad I’m done. Love of the lake lost out to hatred of 80% of the people I encountered up there, lot of em locals, some of them massholes.

      • Starving Cape Healthcare Worker
        December 18, 2018 at 4:13 pm

        I keep hearing that people who own property have no say, but they do. There are elections and town meetings. You just have to get there. If you or Bev can’t make it, maybe you’ve bitten off more house than you can chew?

    • Just saying
      December 20, 2018 at 2:21 am

      Thats the price they pay. Yes they might not use the services, but by being seasonal theyre also not helping support the local economy the majority of the year, and taking up valuable housing by leaving it vacant (even if sometimes the reasons are understandable). So in turn they have to deal with the fact that their taxes are used to help those locals, who maybe would need less help if housing wasnt so overpriced because of seasonsl home owners and could find year round work if we had a year round economy… just saying if ur part of the problem, dont complain if ur moneys used to help fix it?

  • Somerset Turtlette
    December 17, 2018 at 11:53 pm

    Imagine the reason you discover Turtleboy is because you just became Turtleboy Famous! Now she had something in common with drug addicts, common criminals, and other assorted lowlifes. This is Beverly’s life now.

    • Class Warfare is for suckers, become rich and win.
      December 18, 2018 at 5:47 am

      Interesting thought, if it’s like you said, Beverly will gain instant support among her peers and vacation home owners in Chatham. If you look at it from Beverly’s point of you, you’re paying massive taxes to a Town with little say in how they are spent. The local rift raft hate you for being wealthy, nothing new in the class warfare angle.

      Why doesn’t anyone resent the Kennedy’s many compounds, vacation homes and generational wealth. Does anyone begrudge the Clintons hundreds of million of dollars they have “made” since holding office, directly profiting off their public office, Chelsea Clintons $600k/year “job” at a network first job out of grad school. How about Bobble-Head Warren and her $300k/year to teach one class at Harvard and no interest loan from Harvard to buy a million dollar home while attacking the wealthy and fat cats. Leftist class warfare makes exemptions for people who spout the correct bullshit.

      Time for Bristol to open her own ice cream stand and stick with it she to can become wealthy and hated.

  • Juannita Cortez Perez
    December 17, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    Yo what you problem bitch Lawrence and Haverhill got a Cape Cod itz called Salzberry fuckin beach you go near my man I kick your azz!

    • Yo Word
      December 18, 2018 at 5:35 am

      Fucking right baby! You tell em, the Salisbury Ocean is better than cape cods and closer to Lawrence.

  • Cris Gagne
    Whinycunt
    December 17, 2018 at 11:07 pm

    Very nice writing. This is a perfect example of why I will never be a writer. I would have just been all fuck you bev! And shit. Probably a mic drop at the end.
    Not all the factual and heart felt stuff you wrote!

  • Forgetaboutit
    December 17, 2018 at 10:20 pm

    Don’t be so hard on yourself Bristol you fit in just fine other places.

    Move to South Bridge you won’t feel out of place you will fit right the fuck in. You could also try Fall Riva and New Bidford are both close to the fucking Cape.

    How about the Birksheers Pittsfield is nice lots triple deckers and drugs. The Ct River area Holyoke, Springfield, Chicopee is a nice area.

    Then there is the Merrimack Valley Lawrence, Lowell, Haverhill, Methuen, Salisbury, the entire sphincter ring around Boston of towns like Everett, Malden, Lynn. Don’t forget Central Mass if full of affordable shit holes Leominster, Fitchburg, Woostah, Websta.

    So leave the Cape honey, it’s not for you. You don’t have the money or fancy style… you’re more of a Revere Beach Girl or Websta Lake Girl. I hear Marios is hiring.

  • Shawn Silvia
    Bristol is your typical SJW idiot
    December 17, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    Maybe if we all complain enough, someone can get me a place in Trump tower for free!

  • Mahky Mahk Ballbag
    December 17, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    The Cape is almost ghetto enough to open up another Ballbaggers Burgers on the Hyannis/Yarmouth line. And maybe a Jackie’s Packie right across the street. And maybe a pirate museum or pirate mini golf, because Lord knows how much fat asses like this Bev cunt loves doing Cape things with the kiiiids. And those ideas alone should provide, what, maybe 7 or 8 full time year round jobs that will help pay for a used camper to live in.

  • Thurston Howell the 3rd
    December 17, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    Money isn’t everything, especially when one had Diamonds and Real Estate…. 🙂

  • Y
    December 17, 2018 at 8:35 pm

    Can’t afford it, then leave.
    If everyone leaves, then the rich will have to fend for themselves.
    If they can’t fend, they’ll sell, and supply will go up, prices down.
    MAGA

  • Turtle Bristol Fan
    December 17, 2018 at 8:09 pm

    I always love your blogs Bristol because your’e always so honest although sometimes misguided.

    Now that you are Turtleboys lead blogger maybe you can afford to buy yourself a BMW convertible and move to a nice Condo on the Cape year round.

    What are they paying you for your blogging, $300-$600 a day or is it even more?

  • MeToo
    December 17, 2018 at 7:40 pm

    I know exactly where you’re coming from Bristol.
    Myself I want to be a billionaire, move to Beverly Hills, be an astronaut and by my own private island in the Caribbean but that fucking cunt Beverly is ruining it for me!

  • Pat N. Hogg
    December 17, 2018 at 7:32 pm

    30+ years ago the Cape was THE summer vacation place for most middle class children who didn’t have parents with money falling out of their rear ends. Nowadays I barely know anyone who as a parent takes their own kids there; NH, ME and VT are now the go-to’s for a vacation. Why not? Because over that 30 yr time frame the Cape got mucked up by a horde of hoi polloi that drifted in from the wastelands of southeastern MA and the last bunghole enclaves of Boston. The idea of sandy beaches 5 min away and 1,200 sf ranches for 1/2 the price when housing was going to the moon most everywhere else was too powerful of an attraction to avoid. Now when you walk thru Hyannis or Yarmouth it’s like you died and went off to riff raff heaven. The fact there is a liquor store about every 1/4 mile on route 28 and every 5th or 6th shop and restaurant is boarded up ought to say something…

    • Go Camping!!!
      December 17, 2018 at 10:00 pm

      Mass State campgrounds are a great deal, put your ear plugs in and go to bed the flashing lights and occasional screams might wake you up during the night. But then you get up in the cool morning before sunrise and walk around and look at all the camp sites with multiple tents and campers. The adults are passed out around the picnic tables clothing covered in vomit and piss.

      I take pics of the unconcious drunks grab a few of their unopened beers, wine, champagne. See what they have in their wallets for cash, take a quick nap in their new camper. They are still passed out and covered in mosquitos and puke. It’s inexpensive, entertaining and easy to get free stuff. I also play the banjo.

  • z
    December 17, 2018 at 7:31 pm

    Everyone not from indigenous stock in the US either came here themselves or their ancestors did. Different languages, cultures. A 100 years ago they hopped on a crummy steamship and hoped when they hit Ellis Island they wouldn’t be turned away because of illness and disease. If not they the got the opportunity to be worked like a rented mule. My grandfather came from Poland and worked the coal mines with his brother already in the US in PA. My grandfather said fuck it and moved to Western Mass. There’s a lot of W. Mass. Polish with relatives in North East PA. These people had the balls (men + women) to move if needed.

    In many cases these people lost all contact with parents and siblings back in the old country. My grandparents never saw their parents again. As far as I know all my grandparents siblings left Poland. Some to Germany, France, the US and South America. The only ones I know any of them remained in distance contact were the German ones. The rest are gone. They dispersed to survive. If you can’t make it on the cape, move to somewhere where you can make it. As far as I know there isn’t a typhoid check at the canal keeping anyone from the “mainland”. Boo fucking hoo. I’d love to see the sack cloth and ashes and the gnashing of teeth if the “outsiders” left leaving the locals to themselves with a fucking gate at the bridges. We can’t go there, and you can’t come here.

  • DJ Angry Broke Bristol
    December 17, 2018 at 7:00 pm

    • Dindu Story
      December 17, 2018 at 9:50 pm

      Darky hanging around doing nuthn dindu nuthn. He admits it all in the song just sitting on a dock wasting time. Getting ready to do some crime and smoke some chronic and drink down fruit punch jamba juice and eats some tasty fried chicken then commits some more crimes and shit.

  • Land Pirate
    December 17, 2018 at 6:50 pm

    The Cape sucks. There’s no plan, nor interest, for attracting enterprises which would create a year-round economy. The towns have their heads up their asses, hooked on Patty Page-like tourism on life support and Cape Coddish – bound to fail – industries only. Because of the lack of real democracy, real government, and free enterprise, there will always be an impoverished serfdom left over when the fat cows like this Bev cunt takes her snobby family back to the real world. And pretty soon the dwindling tourism economy will continue to grow more and more impotent in being able to sustain the toothless impoverished serfdom left over when the lard asses leave, good people left behind, holding onto dreams and decaying families. The entire Cape is a wasteland and the only assholes making any decent money down there are doing so on the misery of others. DCF. Drug rehabs. Shelter industries. Methadone clinics. Needle exchanges. Those are the jobs to have. Job security! It’s great work if you can get it.

    The Cape is doomed. Shark infested. Asshole infested. “Do you know who I am” infested.

    “We’re from [insert any Cape Cod government or tax payer funded job here] and we’re here to help.”

    FUCK YOU!

  • Skeptical
    December 17, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    The picture of Beverly and her family is disgusting.

    A married husband and wife with three young children who are most likely hard working church going folk who probably do volunteer work.

    The husband looks like the type of douche who would mow his elderly neighbors yard every Sunday.
    I bet they probably even have College educations, they make me sick!!

    • Dreams
      December 17, 2018 at 10:09 pm

      Would/wood the blonde with the Gumba husband she’s pretty hot.

      I have a fantasy of meeting a hot lesbo couple who’s open to guys and fucking them both day and night then being a stay at home dad because the two lesbos are professionals and make big money and turns out they like live-sausage and don’t mind my drinking and mental illness.

  • Grinch's Green Ballsack
    December 17, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    Liked the part about boozing in the winter desolation and wandering around empty streets sad and drunk with a crappy job and angry family. It made me feel all cozy and warm in a Masshole kind of way…

  • Scott
    December 17, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    “Disseminated”?

    On a more serious note, if she pays taxes, she has a right to bitch. Pre-k gubmint spending is the hobbyhorse of the left. It’s how Bill De Bolshevik got to be mayor of NYC. Now family run stores are closing all over the place because he jacked up RE taxes to pay for this shit.

    Everyone has a duty to shut down government bloat.

  • whatevuh
    whatevuh
    December 17, 2018 at 6:44 pm

    And while you’re at it, get the drug addicts out of Hyannis, and the queers out of Provincetown, Make Cape Cod Great Again 🙂

  • Piping Plover
    December 17, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Haha. Sorry to here you were priced out of the Cape…. no I’m not.
    I haven’t been to the Cape in years because it’s an expensive tourist trap shit hole.
    I don’t get the point of this article, if you own a business on the Cape 99% of your money comes from renting vacation properties or selling $29.99 Lobster Rolls during the summer.

    Your description of waking up in a drafty apartment and spending the day on a frozen Ocean baiting hooks is comical. Nobody is making you stay on the Cape. Move to Brockton if that’s all you can afford.

    Properties on the Cape is priced the way it is to keep the lowlifes and the N’s out.

    Obviously you fall into one of those two categories.

  • J holmes
    December 17, 2018 at 6:12 pm

    Kudos Turtleboy sports.. you couldn’t have said it better..
    locals here on the Cape are outraged by this dumb ignorant bitch.. Those of us with families, jobs and real lives here on the Cape are not happy with people like ol Bev.. there’s too many Bevs’s around that are destroying the Cape … they can all stay away.. stay in Natick Bev.. your not a resident and your not welcome here ….!!!!

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    kevins9iron
    December 17, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    Government at it’s finest:

    #1-create all day kindergarten which is essentially daycare.
    #2-Accept the DOE one year grant to implement.
    #3-When 2nd year rolls around claim the taxpayers need to pay for it or there will be (gasp) layoffs
    #4-Offer a stipend to all families in order to get most people on board.
    #5-Silence those who disagree as being against education and unsympathetic to the poor.

    Have I missed anything?

  • Turtz McGurtz
    December 17, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    MEANWHILE, somewhere outside of Chatham…… Maude has put up a GLORIOUS IG post forgiving herself (the victim, if you will) for cheating at marathon(s) (one or more than one i cannot say, the post is REAL vague on that issue).

    Forget Chatham, handicapped parking, fumpalumpa amazon thiefs, for the love of God Maude is poking the turtle!!

  • I am the wind
    December 17, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    I read this article in Fraser Cranes voice. Am I the only one who thinks she looks like Cheryl Fiandaca from the news?

  • Cup O Noodles
    December 17, 2018 at 4:49 pm

    Do you know him many times Bev had to put her hubby’s limp noodle in her mouth to get that summer home? She’s stuggled damn it

  • Karma
    December 17, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    What a cunt.

    I get the feeling the locals won’t be too happy reading this. Someone might want to go check on their property.

  • Bugs Bunny
    December 17, 2018 at 4:01 pm

    What a maroon.

    ( That baby cannon has been retired for quite some time.)

  • Milf Assessor
    December 17, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    I’m with Bev

    Please.   If you can’t afford something then buy something you can afford.   Same logic goes to living in a town

    Because you grew up and want to stay in Chatham then get an education or trade that can keep you there

    Stop with the ‘I wanna wait tables and be able to live wherever I want’ BS

    Life ain’t fair.   

    • December 17, 2018 at 4:07 pm

      This train of thought doesn’t translate well to the current situation on the Cape. Chatham NEEDS a workforce to keep up with the demands for service the summer creates. Chatham’s high cost of living is directly tied to the percentage of seasonal homes in town. 44% – which is astronomical considering only 4.4% of homes statewide are seasonal. The cost of living is 87% higher than the state average, but not out of luxury. This transcends the usual “I want it, I’m entitled, give it to me” attitude usually associated with affordable housing and the like. If something isn’t done to alleviate the housing crisis, the entire economy is at risk of collapse on the Cape. This isn’t a lack of a jobs/work ethic issue – many families earning close to 100k a year are being displaced due to the disproportionate cost of living and lack of appropriate housing.

      • Who is John Galt?
        December 17, 2018 at 4:54 pm

        44% – which is astronomical considering only 4.4% of homes statewide are seasonal.

        —————————

        I’m surprised it’s only 44%.

        Look, Copernicus, you’re crying about a luxury town on the elbow of the Cape, not Methuen. Only Lloyd Christmas would find it SHOCKING that it takes megabux to live in that community, and that anyone living below the upper middle class line would struggle to get by out there.

        I work in Boston. I’d love to live in Boston, but guess what? It’s too effin’ expensive to live within a 20-mile radius of Boston, let alone the city proper, so like any other schlub, I move as close as I can and watch my life slowly drain away on the fuckin’ commuter rail. What makes the Chatham situation any different?

        • Bristol Turtlechick
          December 17, 2018 at 5:28 pm

          There’s no luxury in Chatham past labor day. Please. Come October it’s no luxury to live on the Cape. Someone has to provide service to the tourists come June, though. Spitting on the cogs of industry doesn’t count as lubricating the machine. So, they all leave. Then what?

          • Washashore
            December 18, 2018 at 8:22 am

            Actually Bristol October is the BEST month on the Cape. Ask anyone who lives here and they will tell you the same…

          • Who Is John Galt?
            December 18, 2018 at 10:02 am

            If somehow the rich conspired to drive every non 1%er out of Chatham, and this meant they could no longer get the services they required, guess what? The 1% leaves Chatham and goes elsewhere, and your property values come crashing right back down to the point where non 1%ers can live there.

            Basic economics that I guess you never considered.

      • Turdchomper
        December 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm

        As someone who works 7 days a week on the water in any weather and makes great money but cannot own a house here am I somehow less entitled to be on the Cape as some of these assholes commenting are suggesting? You entitled fucks eat my catch every day fuck you and your “life isn’t fair”attitude. Well written Bristol and it hits home.

        • DrunkKennedies
          December 17, 2018 at 10:35 pm

          Nobody is entitled to live anywhere, you make it happen or you don’t. Comparing yourself to the very wealthy is pointless and will only get you feeling negative like Bristol drinking all winter waiting for the clam shack to open so you can get back to work.

          That Bev… she is why I’m not a millionaire her and Trump if it wasn’t for those two I wouldn’t be a fat drunk with dirty underpants.

      • Big Kahuna
        December 18, 2018 at 8:55 am

        Maybe that’s exactly what the Cape needs….A reality check, for the summer vacation residents, for the current full timers, and for those coming up and wanting to be full timers. The real Estate is what is so out of whack. The Real Estate brokers and buyers drive up the prices to ensure exclusivity, not realizing that there is a ceiling to every economic scheme. Until the scheme of over extending the cost of living to manufacture exclusivity bursts, there will be no fairness on the Cape. Mudslides at the Chartroom are over $10.00!!! That is simply outrageous!!

        • Rockets Redglare
          December 18, 2018 at 9:21 am

          Big not to mention parking at the Chart Room is a mess…

        • Hugh-Bo Mont
          December 18, 2018 at 11:25 am

          If housing prices were too high, nobody would buy them.

    • Unentitled
      December 18, 2018 at 11:24 am

      I can empathize with her. I’m from CA and expected to go back one day for good. Unfortunately the government out there has made it financially impossible and are turning the most beautiful state into a shithole. Instead of going back there to my family when I leave MA I will settle for a better run state that is less expensive.
      Bev’s delivery wasn’t very good, but I have to side with her. You don’t get to have what you want simply because you want it.
      If your community is so tight & tough why don’t they rise up and make the politicians work for them like they’re supposed to?
      Sure Bev sounds like a snobby, entitled spoiled snob, but this writer sounds like a poor me, entitled crybaby. At least Bev had the sense to marry someone who could give her a very comfortable life if she didn’t want to put in the work herself. Who knows maybe she came from nothing and lucked out with a rich guy. Either way you shouldn’t begrudge her because she is rich enough to summer in your home town and you aren’t clever enough to figure out how to stay. You’re the real sell out. You should fight to make it better.
      Too bad not sad for you.

    • Starving Cape Healthcare Worker
      December 18, 2018 at 4:20 pm

      Bev only cares about Chatham because that’s where she pays taxes for her toy home. This is the story of every Cape Cod town. People can’t just switch jobs and commute to their chowder-slinging jobs. So please, please tell me how Bev will get the service to which she has become accustomed? It’s a peninsula, yo.

      • Junky OUT reach volunteer coordinator AIDS/HepC Counselor volunteer.
        December 18, 2018 at 10:25 pm

        “Cape Health Care Worker” is code for (Aids Hospice Volunteer) or (Junkie Outreach Counselor) which is code for “here are some free needles junky, now go shoot up with your shiny new needles.”

        “Slinging Chowder” is code for car dates for cash to buy Newports, scratch tics and a box of wine.

        • Starving Cape Healthcare Worker
          December 19, 2018 at 7:08 am

          Yeah, no. And by the way, I meant to write “switch towns,” as per Bev’s suggestion.

          Where I work, which is a large organization that serves the medical needs of every demographic, calls pour in during the summer from Beverly Nelsons, who not only want medical care but they want it now. They want it fast. They want it convenient.

          Tell them to walk in and wait for urgent care and they act as if you suggested they cut off their right arms. They are here for weeks – even months! – and, damn it, world-class doctors had BETTER be on stand-by or ELSE! And no stinkin’ nurse practitioners, please. Only the best for their little Thurston Howell III Jrs.

          Even in the off-season, we struggle to keep up with the demand. Why? BECAUSE NOBODY CAN AFFORD TO FREAKIN’ LEAVE HERE!

          No, seriously. Newly hired clinicians have been unable to even start seeing patients because they literally cannot find adequate, affordable housing! These aren’t the low-level workers so easily dismissed by the Bevs in our society. These are professionals. By national standards, their salaries are more than adequate. But not here on the Cape.

          I submit that EVERY worker serves an important purpose, but just to cater to the more snobbish amongst us, let me say that the next heart attack which doesn’t get attention could be yours. It’s a long way from over the bridge to one’s summer home in Chatham. Let’s not make the commute so far, eh?

          • Doctor Oz
            December 19, 2018 at 5:13 pm

            Don’t like your job find a new one, can’t afford to live there then don’t but that’s too simple the world should change for you. Let’s hope the next heart attack is your’s but it will probably be a junkie’s which again sounds like you.

  • H&R Block
    December 17, 2018 at 3:56 pm

    She might have sounded more sane if she left out all the backdoor insults and skipped the entitled talk. This goes on everywhere, I have a place in Vermont, but yet my taxes are also high and go towards all the usuals, School buildings, fire Stations etc etc. Its all part of being lucky enough to have a place to go. I admit, I hate when my taxes go up, but if I want a place for my grandkids to enjoy, then It’s worth it. She needs to either STFU, or Sell her place.

  • Willie Boinaire
    December 17, 2018 at 3:38 pm

    When the Hell did she start having children, at 51? Heh, Natick….Wellesley’s flunkie sibling

    • Claire
      December 17, 2018 at 7:45 pm

      Exactly! This wannabe Wellesley snob begrudgingly lives in Natick. Although I’m sure she always makes sure to say “South Natick” when asked where she lives instead of just “Natick”. I’ll put money on it she says “at least it’s not Framingham” as she washes her mood stabilizers down with white wine

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    Kevin's 9 Iron
    December 17, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    She’s one hundred percent right. If those business owners want to pay to keep workers in Town then go for it. My tax dollars should not subsidize keeping these people in Town. Government is to provide basic services not wacko leftist ideas like giving everyone 6k vouchers. And if she pays taxes she gets a say.

    Just a totally misguided fucked up opinion tb.

  • I work and can't afford vacation
    December 17, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    THANK YOU Bristol! That was eloquently put, and I hope Beverly sees it and reflects on her snobbery!

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