Andrea Crete, The Woman Who Tried Banning Tobacco In Westminster, Is Running For Re-Election Tuesday And We Need To Make Sure She Loses

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Remember back in November when the town of Westminster tried to become the first in the country to ban the sale of tobacco? Yea that was dumb. The townsfolk up there did their patriotic duty and raised holy hell over it. Remember this Goddamn American patriot?

TobaccoBan1-jpg (1)

That grizzled bastard right there gets high on freedom. God bless you angry Westminster man.

Well that stupid ordinance was proposed by the Westminster Board of Health, which for some reason is a thing that exists in a town of 7 or 8 thousand people. It’s a three person board, headed by this lady:

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Andre the giant dooshnozzle. I’m just kidding, her real name is Andrea. The tobacco ban was her ingenius idea, because evidently she has nothing better to do than make smokers drive into Gardner to buy a pack of smokes. Not to mention the fact that anyone who owns a store in town that sells tobacco would’ve basically been put out of business by this ordinance. But obviously Andre Crete has a responsibility to protect you from yourself.

Anyway, once the townsfolk revolted the other two board members realized that they only have their jobs because they were elected by the people. And since the people clearly thought this was a dumb idea, they did the right thing and voted against it. Of course Andre Crete kept playing as the ship went down and voted for the ban.

When she left the meeting that fateful November night, this is how she left:

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When you need a police escort out of an elementary school gymnasium in Westminster, you fucked up. I just assumed that this was it for her. After all, no one in their right mind would do something like this and then try to get re-elected by the same people who are trying to tar and feather her. Right? Oh wait, you mean she’s running for re-election on Tuesday??


I have no clue who Michael G. Popik is, but anyone who doesn’t vote for him hates freedom. Period. I would vote at least four times if I lived in Westminster. Unfortunately I don’t.

That’s where you come in. We’re trying to get a Turtleboy ticket together for Worcester’s elections in November. I honestly think a ticket we endorse can get elected with ease. But we need a guinea pig to test our endorsement out on a smaller scale first. And Westminster is the perfect independent variable.

So if you’re reading this and you live in Westminster, get your ass down to the polls on Tuesday and vote your face of for Michael G. Popik. Anyone who doesn’t is a communist. If he doesn’t win in a landslide then all of this is for nothing. We don’t need a victory, we need a Roman triumph. Love live Michael G. Popik. Long live the Turteboy Sports Revolution. Long live freedom.

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6 Comment(s)
  • Finnish Goalie
    April 30, 2015 at 8:03 am

    Hmmm, so if you guys do pull off the election in November, will you get a Chronicle episode on Channel 5?

  • April 29, 2015 at 9:00 am

    There was only one contested race in the election–this one, and a 10:1 thumping certainly got the point across. Mike Popik by the way is extremely well qualified–an MD and past chairman of the radiology dept. at Leominster Hospital.

  • Jean Popik
    April 28, 2015 at 8:41 pm

    Mike Popik won the election–356 to 38. FREEDOMMMMM lives in Westminster! Thank you to all who voted!

  • John
    April 27, 2015 at 10:26 am

    A large part of me wishes I still lived in the woo so I could run for city council on the Turtleboy ticket.

  • Dean
    April 27, 2015 at 6:45 am

    “We don’t need a victory, we need a Roman triumph.” Especially since the recall effort for the other two BOH members was deep sixed under dubious circumstances.

  • Jean Popik
    April 26, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Mike is my husband and a physician practicing for 36 years with the last 30 working in Leominster, MA. His goal is to bring clarity and transparency to Westminster’s BOH. After the debacle in November he decided to throw his hat in the ring to make sure that Crete could never attempt to stuff her agenda down the throats of the residents of Westminster. Mike will listen to the residents and protect their health and welfare as he has done and continues to do for his patients.

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