So despite the fact that Turtleboy Sports has exposed the fact that their “Communications Specialist” Jen Roy is extremely bad at communications, she remains on the job. Because as we discussed on Turtleboy Tuesdays today, there’s pretty much nothing you can do to lose your job when you work for Melinda Boone.
But what exactly does Jen Roy do to earn her $50,000 salary? A salary that did not exist at this time last year. I mean, she MUST do something really, really vital, or else why would Boone feel the need to create this position out of thin air? Whatever she does on a day to day basis MUST be more valuable to the children of Worcester than a classroom teacher. Right?
Well, here’s a Jen Roy creation that Dr. Boone sent out in an email to Worcester Public School teachers today. Basically it’s become clear after reading this 5 page digital newsleter, that Jen Roy’s official job is to be Melinda Boone’s agent. Let’s check it out. Here’s page 1:
So let me get this straight. Dr. Boone hired Jen Roy, and paid her salary from our tax dollars, in order to have her own personal cheerleader? Fantastic. I’m glad that I am now aware that she did a cameo on the weather channel three months ago. Also, we are optimistic about the weather for the spring, which is now almost over. Thank God for Jen Roy. I don’t know how the WPS could survive without this newsletter.
Oh look, a photo op of Dr. Boone reading books to school children. She must be really good at her job. And look, we got the State Treasurer to come and visit the only school in Worcester that any politician seems to give a shit about. How could I survive without these photographs of the greatness that is Dr. Melinda Boone?
I love Waltah!!!! But seriously, I’m glad to see that while her tyrant of a principal at North High School was calling one of her teachers a racist in a faculty email, she was doing photo ops with that guy from the Celtics who cost the Cavaliers a chance at the NBA Championship.
Oh good, another photo op. Here I thought there were more pressing things Dr. Boone should be taking care of. Like doing something about the fact that kids are bringing guns to school like it’s going out of style. But little did I realize there was a photo op that simply couldn’t be missed.
Page 5 represents EVERYTHING that is wrong with Dr. Boone:
You see all that shit? That’s code word for “look at my cool chart.” And you know she’s obviously an important dignitary since she’s sitting at a table with a white table cloth draping it. But seriously, look at some of the codewords Jen Roy uses to explain how she fixed the dropout rate at North High.
- Credit recovery – You didn’t do shit all year and your average in this class is a 24, so I want you to write this book report that I won’t read so that you can graduate. That will magically bring your cumulative average up 41 points.
- Graduation coaches – Six figure salaried position created to babysit kids and make sure they graduate. If the kids don’t do the work then do it for them.
- Alternative pathways – So you can’t read or write and you beat the shit out of an assistant principal? I want you to draw a picture about your feelings. Then you can graduate.
- Dropout re-engagement – Sure you’ve missed two straight months of school and you’re 20 years old. But let us know what we can do to get you into a graduation cap.
As you know by now, Dr. Boone can’t stop talking about her charts. Particularly her graduation and dropout rates. But as we’ve seen time and time again this year, it comes with a cost. And at North High that has meant doing everything possible to keep the scumbags and the savages in the classroom so that Boone can juke the stats and Jen Roy can toss a newsletter together that makes her look like the third coming of Jesus.
Page five ended with this:
Oh cool. She’ll be on a TV show that no one watches a week ago yesterday, to talk about the latest acronym program she created to put on her resume so she can eventually apply to become superintendent of the Boston Public Schools. Thanks for getting us all this info Jen Roy. Keep doing you. I have to admit, I miss our 3 AM conversations though.