Attention Craving Hingham Miss Massachusetts Pageant Contestant Pretends To Be Triggered By Harmless #MeToo Joke, Quits In Dramatic “Look At Me” Style On Instagram

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CNNA beauty queen gave up her title after a skit was performed at the Miss Massachusetts competition that made fun of the #MeToo movement. Maude Gorman was one of the contestants in the Miss Massachusetts pageant earlier this month, when a crack about #MeToo was made on stage. Gorman, who said she was gang raped when she was 13, said the moment she heard the joke that she “instantly knew I had to do something. It was going to eat away at me if I didn’t,” she told CNN. She resigned from her title of Miss Plymouth County 2018 last week, writing on Instagram: “While I’m grateful for the opportunities that @missamerica creates for young women, I am also internally conflicted; as the #metoo movement was mocked on stage during the final competition of Miss Massachusetts. As both a survivor, and advocate for victims rights and sexual violence on a whole, I refuse to stand idly by and simply ‘let this go.'”

Wow, sounds pretty serious!! What was the offensive joke about #MeToo?

In what the Observer described as part of the comedy sketch, a woman is onstage, kneeling and talking about how Miss America has scrapped the swimsuit portion from its competition.”Miss America did away with the swimsuit competition,” the woman says in the skit. “We may have very well seen the last ever swimsuit competition on stage. It’s very upsetting and I’m trying to understand, God, why it happened.”

“Me too, Amy,” replies a man whom the Observer described as dressed as God and holding a #MeToo sign.

That’s it?? That’s offensive? You can’t even use #MeToo in a satirical sketch that specifically relates to the pageant you’re doing the sketch for? This apparently triggered ol’ Maude (and possibly her sisters Agnes and Gladys) to the point where she began clutching her pearls so hard they’re now permanently indented in  her hands……

The crowd cheers and laughs, and the skit continues. Gorman said she was backstage when it happened.

“Nobody saw the skit because we were backstage, but we could all hear it,” she said, about the contestants. “I instantly knew I had to do something. It was going to eat away at me if I didn’t… we were all shocked. We said, ‘Oh my god. I cannot believe that just happened. Did that just really happen?'”

The Miss Massachusetts organization, which is preliminary to the Miss America Pageant, posted an apology on Facebook.

“The Miss Massachusetts Board of Directors offers our sincere and heartfelt apology for those offended by Saturday night’s skit. The skit was not in the script and was not authorized by the board. Moving forward, we will review all content with future emcees and other participants prior to our show to be sure offensive or potentially offensive content is not allowed.”

Gadzooks!! Uhhhh ma Gahhdd!! Uh lock tudally cont buhlove that jus hoppen. Lock, duh they think dis is lock uh juk uh something?

And this is the slippery slope of #MeToo. It had a purpose, and it’s a good thing that victims of sexual assault and harassment feel comfortable coming forward. But this? If you’re triggered by this harmless Dad joke then you’re not ready for grownup world, and you’re trivializing legitimate things that should be called out.

Of course the real reason ol’ Maude is doing it is for the attention. She’s from Hingham, which is one of the wealthiest towns on the south shore. And Maude is really into Maude.

No one would give a shit about this competition if she didn’t make it all about her. She couldn’t just stop doing the competitions, she had to announce it in dramatic white girl style on Facebook and Instagram. Now she’s reveling in the CNN fame:

Because….of course CNN is buying this up.

But the fact of the matter here is that Maude is clearly quite impressed with herself and her wokeness:

And because of #MeToo we have to say how brave and wonderful she is for getting so offended by a harmless skit:

A hero? Oh for fuck’s sake.

Newsflash – you participated in an event for years that specifically excluded girls and women based on their looks. You never would’ve had the opportunities you did if you were 30 pounds heavier. You excelled at it specifically because your body is a 10.

You can tell yourself that you did well because you answered their questions well and were well rounded. I’m not saying you’re not. But the fact of the matter is if you never would’ve been given that opportunity were it not for the fact that Abi is thinking about scissoring you right now.

Of course if you dare point out that it’s not offensive it’s only becase you’re white and male:

Oh Brian, you so woke! You’re one of the good ones!!

Of course the reason this harmless joke about #MeToo triggered her is because she claims she was sexually assaulted when she was 13. I’m not saying she wasn’t, but if you don’t blindly believe her, despite any lack of evidence, you hate women. She was featured in the Globe three years ago talking about what happened in her hometown of Hingham:


So let me get this straight. She was 13 and at the park with her friends when three drunken older boys came over. Her and her friend ran, presumably because the boys were threatening them. The friend escaped, she didn’t, and she was then gang raped in a public park by them. And she never told the cops or her friend what happened.

I mean….we have to believe everything now? Are you honestly telling me the friend who ran for her life away from these three violent and drunken Hingham boys said nothing to anyone? She didn’t think to call the cops? If she didn’t think they were dangerous then why did she run? I’m not saying this didn’t happen, I’m just saying that from my experience at Turtleboy I’ve learned one valuable lesson – people lie for attention. It happens all the time. And when the story doesn’t make any sense like this, you should be allowed to question it. If #MeToo doesn’t allow people to question it without getting their heads chopped off by woke psycho feminists, then #MeToo should be mocked too, and I’m glad it was.

Even if this story were true, there’s no way in hell this harmless joke triggered her this badly. This clambox is in a line of work where sex appeal is important, and she clearly craves the spotlight, and enjoys being told how strong and brave she is.

Saw this in the comments on WCVB:

Just sayin.

Also she admits that she bombed out of boarding school because they thought she was drinking and doing drugs…

I’m not saying she wasn’t sexually assaulted. I’ll never outright call someone a liar without proof to the contrary. But could it POSSIBLY be that she was at a public park with some 16 year old boys, pounding down some wine coolers with them, and one of them grabbed her boobs? To me that seems a lot more plausible than a gang of rapists wandering around the mean streets of Hingham looking for 13 year olds to gang rape.

The bottom line is that the other 13 year old would NEVER be able to keep that a secret for this many years. I refuse to believe that. I was a 13 year old girl once too. If I saw those boys in my high school I would’ve told the world what animals they are. I would’ve mentioned that time I fled for my life because they were trying to assault me to everyone.

So if this mystery girl is out there and would like to corroborate this story, we’d be happy to hear from them. Then we can put the teens (who are in their 20’s now) on blast like they should. We LOVE to blow up assholes like that. So please, let us get justice for you Maude. You’re so brave for getting offended by this harmless skit and you’re totally NOT trivializing a very serious issue that has affected millions of other women.

31 Comment(s)
  • thecheese
    January 1, 2019 at 2:40 am

    I noticed how many articles you have written about Maude and then saw in this article you have written “I was a 13 year old girl once, too.” I wonder, do you know Maude personally? Have a problem with her, perhaps?

    Let the poor woman live. Who cares what some beauty queen who goes for runs in the mountains does. There are people attached to these names you type with years of life left to live. People with sisters, brothers, and parents. Sounds to me like you might still be a 13 year old girl, cuz we went through this shit with Maude in high school and we got over it. Time for you to.

    July 11, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    This is what they are trying to pass as a beauty queen. Lmao definitely would not! Shes ugly even with make up on, magine what she looks like with out it. Faakkinn gross! I bet shes a huge cunt as well & thinks everyone owes her something. I’m ashamed to be apart of this generation!

  • can't get to the comment section
    July 11, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    It’s become almost IMPOSSIBLE to post a comment or read comments. The page keeps refilling with ads. PLEASE TURTLEBOY,,,, DO SOMETHING about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • vicxh
    July 11, 2018 at 11:42 am

    She is not doing anything wrong that harms society. Not been caught drunk driving. Not started a go fund me. Yes she is easily triggered and it may be due to whatever happened or did not happen at age 13. But I wasn’t there and so I don’t see why she should be on turtleboy. Maybe she got drunk and had sex with 3 boys in the park but she never ruined anybody’s life. If she is having fake memories and is using that to protest Trump then it is nutty but not unlawful.

  • Ads Can Suck My Nuts
    July 11, 2018 at 11:04 am

    OMG Can we please do something about the ads above the comments section? I can’t scroll down to the comments anymore because the ads expand in a never-ending waterfall of eye-bleeding cancer. I have to drag my web browser all the way to the bottom of the page and then scroll up…but WAIT. Don’t scroll too far up or the ads appear again and start auto-filling your page back up before you can blink.

    Seriously, for the love of all that’s holy in this world, please fix this!!!!

  • Dr. Tit
    July 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    Would not. Maude needs to gain 30 pounds and desperately needs a D cup bolted onto her.

    • Dr. Cock
      July 10, 2018 at 11:42 pm

      I concur, Dr. Tit…

      but – DAT ASS

  • Art Deco
    July 10, 2018 at 7:14 pm

    Did Maude’s parents dislike her or were they drunk when they listed that name on the birth certificate? Serious question, thanks.

  • roberti
    July 10, 2018 at 5:44 pm

    Good for you turtleboy for questioning the story, let’s see now if her friend ever shows up to prove it true.

  • Would/wood
    July 10, 2018 at 5:27 pm

    Would! Not guilty! Next defendant.

    I know hot women have too much power but my penis ordered me to only say good things about this hot cunt.

  • Ange
    July 10, 2018 at 4:47 pm

    She didn’t make the top 12, and that’s why she threw a hissy fit. She blamed the skit to cover up her sour-graping. She was drinking and swearing during the remainder of the competition. The girl is a psycho just like her older sister Mary Kate.

  • TJB
    July 10, 2018 at 3:41 pm

    Bitch has a great job waiting for her in the Army. They have a program for bitches who think they were raped. Its called SHARP, and she could ruin Mens lives all over the world.

  • Real_Finn
    July 10, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    Who names their kid “Maude” ?

    • Fuzzy Dunlop
      July 10, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      Jeffrey Lebowski named his daughter Maude

    • Walter Findlay
      July 10, 2018 at 11:36 pm

      Yeah, and then there’s Maude…

  • Conceita Digmenow
    July 10, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    I hate these egotistical twats that live to post pictures of themselves on Facebook and Instagram and friend all these loser clowns who tell them how hot they are every post.

    Back in the day they’d call this one a “cock tease”.

    • selfies are for narcissists
      July 11, 2018 at 1:14 pm

      Right?!?!?!?! I remember seeing this bodybuilder chick from Kingston on Facebook, and her profile is 99% selfies and pictures of her flexing her muscles (barf). Under one of the countless selfies, she actually wrote that someone requested that she post that particular selfie. What a self-absorbed twat.

  • Mike
    July 10, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    It’s so refreshing to read something that challenges an unlikely story.  It’s what many of us know or feel, but fear the backlash of calling bullshit on an obvious bullshit story. The joke worked on too levels. God answered the question as to why there is no longer a swimsuit portion “#metoo” it God would also like to know why there is no longer a swimsuit portion “me too”.  The joke is corny as hell, but funny. The audience seemed to like it. 

  • The angry taint
    The angry taint
    July 10, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Meh…cute girl, little to lean for me but whatever . Her reasoning is chaotic at best… not sure which way I’m leaning on this one

  • Hughbo Mont
    July 10, 2018 at 1:53 pm

    She’s just upset because it detracted from her own #mememe movement. She’s not that hot, anyway.

  • Let me up, I've had enough
    July 10, 2018 at 1:48 pm

    To each his own, but I for one want a woman that looks like a woman, not a male athlete. Gimme a lotta curves and padding in all the right places. I’ll bet her box smells like a locker room.

    • Stunt Penis
      July 10, 2018 at 8:02 pm

      Nah, look closely at the pictures of her thighs and ass. She’s got a caboose larger than Plymouth rock. Your penis would have to take a burro into the grand canyon of her ass crack to find her chocolate donut hole.

  • Dr. Cock
    July 10, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    I’d politely ask her father if I could take her to a carnival, buy her a cotton candy, and win her a stuffed bear in the water balloon game, and of course he would be welcome to chaperone.

    Bullshit. I’d throw back Fanta and Old Thompson highballs with her in the back of a junkyard until we got chiseled and then I’d bend her over the hood of a rusted out ’78 Ford Pinto and stuff my cock so far up her ass that I’d push her breakfast out her nose.

  • WeAreFucked
    July 10, 2018 at 12:54 pm

    Well that story of hers makes zero sense. Sorry to Doubt. But if I ran from someone, I’d be very afraid that my friend made it home too. Then she just shows up at her friends house and acts like nothing happened? What did she say when the other says “Did you get away?” Maybe “Oh ya, then I walked around for 30 minutes. That’s how my clothes got torn and I got all messed up.”

    I’m leaning towards she was drunk and let it happen, if it happened at all.

  • y
    July 10, 2018 at 12:47 pm

    I’d squirt Pert Plus all over her Head N Shoulders

  • Ink Stained Wretch
    July 10, 2018 at 12:45 pm

    Of COURSE it was Bella English who swallowed that story hook, line, and sinker.

  • Al Jolson
    July 10, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    I would eat the corn out of her shit.

  • Stunt Penis
    July 10, 2018 at 12:05 pm

    Its hard to take any woman complaining about the patriarchy seriously when they’re competing in what, despite claims to the otherwise, is a beauty pageant.

    • Mister Mike
      July 10, 2018 at 12:30 pm

      I just scroll through the pictures anyway. I literally just scrolled down this blog checking this chick out.

      Def stuff her out though I’ma tell you what.

  • Ramon
    July 10, 2018 at 11:50 am

    More like Miss Narcissism.

    Shut up and show us your boobs.

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