Attleboro Complainapotamus Shares Totally Believable Story About Sturdy Hospital Sending Her Away On The Brink Of Death Due To Her Shitty Insurance, Draws Crowd Of Malingering Whiners To Share In Her Bitchfest

Town groups are great, aren’t they? They’re little digital town squares where you can gather with your neighbors and that inevitable handful of people that moved away ages ago and failed to make any friends in their new communities to discuss important topics like the best place to get breakfast in town, school events, and recycling cans. You can commiserate with others about how great your shitty town used to be before it became overrun with those goddamn shitty kids, gripe about the way the town plows the roads and collects the garbage, and announce the weather to hundred or thousands of other people who live within a 15 mile radius of you and already fucking know, because windows, Karen. Or, you can be like Susan here, and use this little digital corner full of chatty locals to take a break from talking to your cats to share a complaint-filled story that is completely and utterly implausible to the rational mind:


Definitely happened. Does this look like the face of a woman who would use the internet to malinger and complain for a little bit of attention and sympathy to you?


So we’re all to believe that this lady spends an entire weekend in the hospital, just to be shoo’d out the door on the brink of death, because her insurance sucks? That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. It’s an emergency room, Susan, not club med. They’re not throwing out poor people like it’s some sort of dreary Dickens novel to make way for Richie Rich to jump in to his luxury zero thread count paper Johnnie and kick his skid-proof sock clad feet up in the hospital bed you inexplicably have made long term plans with. Yes, they most definitely intended to get you out of that bed to put someone else in it. Undeniable. Someone with an acute medical issue, specifically, because that’s what hospitals stays are for. Sorry your potassium levels are low, Susan. Take a multi vitamin, eat a banana, and call your PCP.

Despite this obvious lunacy, Susan did indeed find her intended audience, and the horror stories started rolling in:

So, pretty much, Sturdy Hospital is a death camp for the poor. Seems legit. And Susan our tragic heroine Susan is out here, in dire condition, about to lose consciousness and/or starve to death at any moment – but not before responding to every single comment on her bullshit post with a million excuses for why she can’t possibly take basic steps to care for her own health and is currently passing out from low potassium – but not before hitting up Facebook!

And a “thank you” to every gullible moron who took her clearly imaginary plight seriously enough to offer up their terrible suggestions.


Fantastic advice.

But don’t get it twisted, Susan really appreciates nurses.


Just not that awful wench Winnie who ruined her weekend vacation plans to stay laid up with a call button handy in the Center of Attentionville. Don’t worry about the rest of the story – Susan is far too fatigued to get into it here. We’ll just stick with the part where she got tossed out like yesterday’s garbage because she doesn’t own a private yacht. No context, or logic, necessary.

In the least shocking turn of events imaginable, turns out Susan’s cat Lucifer has had his own brush with death that required the expertise of the Everything Attleboro forum as well.

Go figure. He turned out ok, though – it was just an allergic reaction or something, and certainly not a byproduct of being the responsibility of a woman who can’t even navigate her way through the vitamin section of CVS without a full team of medical professionals and a pair of slip-proof slipper socks.

Thots and shares, Susan.


41 Comment(s)
  • bethyx
    December 21, 2019 at 11:12 pm

    This shit ass hospital released me with internal bleeding. I almost died. Went to Norwood hospital and was admitted for 3 weeks… private insurance no masshealth… sturdy sucks assssss.

  • Furious Styles
    December 11, 2019 at 10:31 pm

    it is sickening how may fucking people are on Mass Health. There was once a time people that needed help hid it from other out of embarrassment. Now? Welfare is a badge of honor and If you’re not taking from them system, you’re a sucker.

    Fuck me

  • That 'Would' guy
    December 11, 2019 at 3:48 pm


  • Medical Billing Expert
    December 11, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    Insurance more or less dictates admissions for patients. The majority of insurances out there require an authorization for an inpatient admission, this is communication from a case manager assigned to your care by the hospital to the insurance company to obtain and extended, if needed, an authorization.
    Any hospital that accepts Medicare, so all, is legally required to treat and stabilize a patient with an emergency medical condition. This includes keeping the patient until such stabilization occurs. If they are found in violation of this then they risk losing the ability to treat any Medicare patients and fines up to $50,000 per violation, EMTALA is the law. There is no way Sturdy kicked this weirdo out if she wasn’t stable.

  • Peter Dautel
    Don Key Punch
    December 11, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    Ah yes…. The low self esteem crowd, ever drawing attention that they can’t ever do on their own, without dragging everything around them as they go…. Wait, did someone just say “Liberal”?

  • You need to learn Photoshop badly
    December 11, 2019 at 11:36 am

    Who saves or edits those screenshots? They are so small you cant even read a single one of them.

  • AngryWhiteDad
    December 11, 2019 at 11:04 am

    It’s been like 2 or 3 days since you guys did a story on a wicked hot junkie. I’ll keep refreshing in hopes of getting some new spank bank material.

  • SRR
    December 11, 2019 at 11:03 am

    I don’t know about Sturdy hospital but I do have experience with Baystate.
    I have excellent private insurance and this year was the first time in my life I have ever been in the hospital for anything.
    I had pneumonia in the early spring.
    I didn’t feel well but paid no attention to it, thinking it was the flu and would go away in a week.
    I woke up in the hospital not knowing how I had got there until family and the Doctors told me I had almost died.
    I felt much better after a day and night of Iv antibiotics and fluids as well as oxygen.
    I wanted to go home that day.
    The Doctor said I would have to stay until they could stabilize my oxygen levels which were not consistent with “Sustaining life” according to my Doctors.
    Long story short I fought every day to get out and go home, I have animals to care for and work to do and sitting in a hospital bed was not where I wanted to be.
    I tried to sign myself out against Doctors orders and I was told that insurance would not pay if I did.
    I didn’t care about that I just wanted to go home.
    Doctors were still able to hold me there even though I had family at home to take care of me.
    I finally was discharged after 6 days I had to be sent home with oxygen and they still tried to keep me over a Holiday weekend but I called my insurance carrier and my primary care physician and together they were able to get me released that Friday.
    The insurance company doesn’t want to pay for a longer stay when you say you feel fine.
    I don’t know if they tried to keep me longer do to private insurance?
    But I do know I was not ready to go home, I had lost muscle mass in just 6 days, couldn’t breath well just taking a bath and making my bed were impossible tasks, if it wasn’t for my family taking care of me I would have been in serious trouble.
    It took over a week for me to be able to get back to normal.
    I am stubborn and tried not to use oxygen at home, every time I would try my o2 levels would plummet from 97 to 81 or lower.
    Long story short I think that most medical professionals Will do what they feel is best for the patient and not just consider insurance.
    What I Can’t understand is why would anyone want to stay in a hospital longer than is necessary?

    • Get Well
      December 11, 2019 at 12:57 pm

      I like that you said to make a long story short after that tremendously long story

      • Long story short
        December 11, 2019 at 2:57 pm


  • Borat Sagdiyev
    December 11, 2019 at 10:20 am

    Khazakstan has superior potassium. All other countries have inferior potassium.

  • Silent Civil War, MAGA, TRUMP
    December 11, 2019 at 9:32 am

    Every story on TBS has one thread in common if not many more, responsibility. Personal accountability to thyself, corrupt judges, police, prosecutors, local government, state government, federal government. Deep state worm-tongue backstabbers lurking, waiting.

    If you are accountable when caught, you are not and honest person and should never be given authority or power. It’s the choice you make when nobody will find out that define you. If these shameless beggars and scammers put the same effort into a job, business or education, where might they be.

    Hence this Trump Pence video, forget Mr Smith goes to Washington. More like George Washington goes to Washington and discovers it’s run by Redcoats and communists.

    • Colonel Schiff
      December 11, 2019 at 9:52 am

      Shut up about some civil war only faaaaaarrrr right tinfoil wearing, mommas basement dwellers believe in. You can serve in Landon Steele’s battalion and save us all from the snowflake apocalypse.

    • Uncle Hitler
      December 11, 2019 at 9:57 am

      No TB just points out how jewish the country got, the kikes did the same to Russia hence the communism. I was right.

      • Uncle Hit You
        December 11, 2019 at 11:21 am

        And am I just pointing out that you are douchebag, now go back to sucking dicks in bathrooms.

    • Christopher Lettiere
      December 11, 2019 at 10:39 am

      I prefer this meme:

  • massholio
    December 11, 2019 at 9:00 am

    She’s probably the only one in the ER that speaks English and is on Medicaid. Eat a potato dear.

  • Natasha
    December 11, 2019 at 8:56 am

    Failure Swift wannabe

  • DudeRanchStripClub
    December 11, 2019 at 8:46 am

    “luxury zero thread count paper Johnnie”

    WTF even is that. If it has a thread count then you want it to be a higher thread count.
    If it’s paper then it doesn’t have a thread count at all.

    Jesus H. Walker Bush, you uncultured swine.

    • paper johnnie
      December 11, 2019 at 11:12 am

      I guess you didn’t get it!

      • DudeRanchStripClub
        December 11, 2019 at 1:14 pm

        Got it as soon as I posted it. Unfortunately my trigger finger is too fast.

  • AL
    December 11, 2019 at 8:04 am

    I grew up a few towns over and always used Sturdy with no issues. Every fucking time I go there, the ER waiting room is filled with junkies. Nobody there has pupils – they’re so pinned it’s like facing a room of whitewalkers.

  • Michael Johnson
    True justice
    December 11, 2019 at 7:38 am

    There are other hospitals out there Susan. Oh wait, it’s a bullshit story. She’s probably a regular there for attention. Meanwhile, turtle riders are picking up the tab. Go choke on a banana.

  • Heather
    December 11, 2019 at 7:30 am

    Unfortunately, she’s probably not exaggerating. I had day surgery at Sturdy and they forgot to blood type me until the doctor reminded them right before I went into the room. Not the most competent. They were all very nice but it’s definitely not a place I’d go if I were legitimately sick.

  • hartf811
    December 11, 2019 at 6:59 am

    The face of Steel Reserve. Sucks the potassium right out of you!

      December 11, 2019 at 11:24 am

      Langdon Steele Reserve?

  • WeRFucked
    December 11, 2019 at 6:44 am

    OK… so you actually DO write critical posts in there?

  • KISS
    December 11, 2019 at 6:37 am

    Gene, you look like shit… eat some kale and get your ass back to band practice

  • Dr. Nofucks to Give
    December 11, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Low potassium = Alcoholic. Living with one, so I know. Too bad, but she’s a drain on hospital staff, just as my family member is. I stand with Sturdy on this..

    #sturdydtrong! 🙂 🙂

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      December 11, 2019 at 8:35 am

      That’s true. One has to drink pretty heavily to get that but yes that is true.

      Too bad about your family member. I guess we all have one in our family. Mine too.

    • White girl occasionally wasted
      December 11, 2019 at 10:12 am

      Eating disorders can also result in low potassium levels. By the looks of Susan, however, I’m assuming that isn’t the cause of her supposed malady.

  • whitey
    December 11, 2019 at 5:54 am

    I would gladly throw that fat ass free loader out of the hospital so that I could get the blister on my toe looked at. Go sit down on that rock again and wait!

  • Klancy
    December 11, 2019 at 5:49 am

    So Susan, what WAS your potassium?

  • Jeff J
    Get With The Program
    December 11, 2019 at 5:30 am

    Ease up with the banana pushers for fucksake. Everyone knows potato skins are where the REAL potassium’s at.

  • Yep.
    December 11, 2019 at 5:01 am

    The leg wasn’t bad.

    • No just no
      December 11, 2019 at 10:17 am

      You seem to have high standards. Like the type that would throw it in just about anything. Ew.

      • Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
        December 12, 2019 at 3:19 am

        Beauty is but the flick of a light switch away.
        I have standards and, more importantly, I have remedies (such as aforementioned light switch).

  • Phong
    December 11, 2019 at 2:53 am

    Eat a fucking banana then you chimp.

  • Fuck Them
    December 11, 2019 at 1:56 am

    1. Let these leeches get a job that provides insurance.
    2. Let these leeches buy their own insurance.
    3. Let these leeches die in the street.
    Why do I have to endlessly pay for these assholes?

    • Poor People Are Worthless Subhuman Leeches
      December 11, 2019 at 9:34 am

      If you’re poor please die.
      If you don’t have a job please die.
      If you need food stamps please die.
      If you need health insurance please die.
      If you’re homeless please die.


      • That guy that hates hypocrits
        December 12, 2019 at 2:48 pm

        Great! Now we know what to do with you should you find yourself under the thumb of grevious misfortune one day, specifically; hand you a gun, rope, live power cord, and bottle of pills and hold you to your word.

        Good lookin’ out, friend!!! 🙂

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