We wrote a blog a week or so back about the worst shows your girlfriend/wife watches on TV. The worst show by far is The Bachelor/Bachelorette. Well, last night was the finale and the woman that all these idiots were vying for made her choice. Apparently this dolt’s name is Andi, and she picked some moron named Josh, instead of this other moron named Nick. Well, Nick didn’t take it too well and what he said to her in the loser final rose ceremony is all the rage right now:
“If you’re not in love with me, I’m not sure why you made love with me.”
That right there is the most emasculating thing a man has ever said in the history of television. Can it possibly get any worse? First of all, if you go on this show as a dude and actually fall in love with the bachelorette, then you’re insanely dumb. You wouldn’t survive twenty minutes in the wild.
Newsflash moron – you play to win the game. That’s the only purpose of trying to win this thing. You don’t actually play to fall in love. That was your first big mistake. Obviously we all know that these two idiots are not actually gonna live happily ever after. After the nostalgia wears off and they have to smell each other’s nasty dumps they’ll disappear, break up, and no one will ever care about them again.
So if you play to win the game, then what do you do if you lose? Well, one thing you don’t do is cry like a little beyoch and say the phrase “make love with me.” It is simply unacceptable for a man to use this phrase when referring to intercourse. It’s like dude, I get that you’re upset that you lost, but it’s over now. I get that you wanna burn bridges because you have nothing to lose. But this is not how you burn a bridge.
If you really wanted to burn her on the way out what you should’ve said was, “I wasn’t really in love with you. I just said whatever it took to bed you. And it worked. And I’ve had better. Now Josh gets my leftovers and I’m gonna get so many chicks because I was on this show. So long suckers.” That’s how you burn a bridge.
Instead you come out of this and everyone in America, male and female, thinks you’re a tool. Men are laughing at you because you said “make love with me.” Women think you’re an asshole for humiliating this idiot on national television. At least you could’ve left this with only half of the population hating you.
Now onto the Bachelorette herself. Do you need any more proof that this show is complete bullshit? She goes on these dates with all these morons who say they’re in love with her, and apparently she just has sex with all of them. But the show tries to mask it with all this love bullshit. Get out of my face with that baloney. She just wanted to get steamrolled.
Like, what puts her on the pedestal? She has 20 dudes trying to be with her, and for what? What has she EVER done? She obviously isn’t normal enough to get a man on her own, and the only way she can find a husband is by sampling 20 handpicked single dudes and picking her favorite.
Then there’s the winner – Josh. How dumb does this nudnik look right now? You’ve just chosen to get married to a woman that picked you after sampling 19 other dudes. She had 19 backup plans. You had none. You’ve told this woman you love her multiple times and she told you she really liked in return. Meanwhile when you weren’t around she was sleeping with a man who uses the phrase, “make love with me.”
Lastly there’s the idiots in the audience who cling to every word of this bullshit.
For some reason these nimrods actually think what they’re seeing is real. The problem then becomes EVERY American man’s problem. Why? Because they want us to act like that. They want us to take them on dates that involve helicopters and picnics on top of mountains. When I see them all standing up and clapping, and talking about how she made the right or wrong choice, I just shake my head. They don’t understand that none of this is real.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.