The Smithfield, RI chapter of the Pumpkin Spice Mafia kicked it up a notch this week with their latest viral lie.
Of course her name is Becky. Because, of course it is.
She’s stuck on the bottom rung of the Herbalife pyramid scheme.
Which tells us everything we need to know about her overall level of gullibility.
And according to Becky her niece Rachel Gervasio and her boyfriend Jason Torrey were nearly sex trafficked at the Smithfield Target because someone ziptied a shopping cart to her door and there was a truck nearby.
So OBVIOUSLY the only logical conclusion a person can reach is that this was sex trafficking. This is the kind of street smarts a high school degree gets you in Rhode Island.
This completely asinine, ridiculous, unbelievable story was of course immediately shared by the Pumpkin Spice Mafia in large amounts, and they were TERRIFIED!!
Thots and shares!
“I’ve seen people say this before. I guess its to get you to go to the other side of the car where they park and throw you into a vehicle.”
And that ladies and gentlemen is why women couldn’t vote until 1920. Sorry, not sorry, because it’s half true. To be THAT stupid that your entire thought process comes from something “I’ve seen people say before,” should disqualify you from choosing who the President is.
As someone pointed out, this is an old trick that people do to other people who park like assholes.
So her niece probably parked like an asshole too and got the shopping cart treatment.
But Becky wasn’t trying to hear that, and she certainly wasn’t gonna take her post down, even though her niece had already done so by this point.
“Prank or no prank, it’s happening.”
No. No it’s not. There is no epidemic of white women being kidnapped in Target parking lots by men who tie shopping carts to your car. In the vary rare occasion where a kidnapping does happen the kidnapper attempts to be inconspicuous. I couldn’t think of something that could draw more attention to a kidnapping than tying a shopping cart to a car door. They also wouldn’t do it to a woman who was with her boyfriend. Obviously. And if it did happen, it would be extremely easy to solve since there are cameras everywhere and the cops could trace the license plate in five seconds.
But her idiot niece shared it, therefore she did the right thing by blindly stoking fear in the public, and tying up police resources to deal with the plethora of phone calls that no doubt came with it.
I swear to God, some of these people really, really wanna be sex trafficked just so they can post about it on Facebook. I don’t think they’d like how it would end up.
Kansascity.com did a story on this two months ago, explaining how unbelievably fake news these posts are.
Human trafficking experts and police are all in agreement – you are an idiot if you share a post like this.
“It’s essentially like an urban legend or a scare-lore. The whole idea of the intent is just to scare people,” Lt. Brian Oleksyk told WILX, adding that sex traffickers use drastically different tactics.
“Most of the time for traffickers they are using a computer online or it’s somebody they already know from a previous relationship or a peer to peer. Very rare is it for them to prey on a stranger,” Oleksyk said, according to the outlet.
Celia Williamson, director of the Human Trafficking and Social Justice Institute at the University of Toledo in Ohio, echoed Oleksyk’s statement, calling the claims “ridiculous,” the Toledo Blade reported.
“It’s not about stranger danger, it’s more about people befriending you and over time they get you into situations where you can be trafficked,” Williamson told the outlet. “If you manipulate a kid into thinking that you’re her boyfriend, then they will participate in their own victimization, then I can traffic you for months or years.”
A few months ago some other nudnik’s post was shared almost 10,000 times before Politifact and Facebook warned people that it was fake news.
Have you seen the #ZipTieWarning posts? It's telling women to beware of a zip tie on their side mirror as part of a sex-trafficking ring targeting girls who are alone. We checked with @Tucson_Police who tells us, "we saw that earlier, no reports of it going on here." #Tucson pic.twitter.com/g7d9FWq6Ok
— Dan Marries (@DanMarriesKOLD) July 26, 2019
But of course the Smithfield Police were distracted from doing real police work because Becky and Boomer Patrol caused mass panic in town, prompting the Smithfield Police to politely remind these people how stupid they are.
Oh look, it happened to someone else too. Almost like a prank.
But Becky and the Boomers still were convinced and basically called the police liars.
Yea, let’s blame the police there Natasha. It’s been “PROVEN” to be a sex trafficking scheme, even though it’s actually been proven to be the exact opposite. Your choice of t-shirt tells me everything I need to know about you.
“I heard this is absolutely not true.”
Loretta, it doesn’t matter what you heard from Maude and Ethel at the bridge game. Those crazy old bats all have dementia anyway.
The bottom line is, if you’ve ever shared a story like this you should be embarrassed, because I’m embarrassed for you. It’s one thing if some attention starved 20 year old makes up a lie like this. It’s a completely different thing when her grown adult aunt sees it and spreads misinformation, instead of being an actual grown up, speaking with her niece, and explaining to her that she’s gonna end up on Turtleboy.
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