In today’s chapter of “SJW white woman with stick up her twat from wealthy Boston suburb ruins fun for everyone,” we bring you today’s protagonist Elaine Eisenman from Wellesley.
As you can see, Blanche Nevereaux is generally opposed to fun, probably has a “hate has no home here” sign in her yard on a street with no black people, enjoys eating dinner at 4:30, wearing a light jacket when it’s 75 degrees outside, having correct change, drinking tea, owning a landline, anything with Angela Lansbury, writing in cursive, voting, calling TV shows “programs,” drawing herself a warm bath, shaking her head at anyone who tells her to email them, hoping to see a woman president before she dies so long as they’re not a republican, paying with personal checks at Whole Foods, day trips to Needham, and using Facebook to police satire like she did when she saw this sign at Alta Strada Italian restaurant.
Over the weekend Elaine decided to take offense to a sign she saw at Alta Strada Italian restaurant in the center of town.
Holy. Fucking. Shitballs!! We have a reported case of unapproved satire going on on Main Street. Gonna need backup on this one boys! Thank God she threw in the #MeToo hashtag, because this sign is basically an invitation for rape.
Unfortunately for Elaine there were some savages in town that actually stood by this disgusting, “horrifying,” message indicating that the establishment serves alcoholic beverages, and that if you consume said beverages you may become so intoxicated that you are temporarily predisposed to make bad decisions!! Luckily Elaine, being the soldier for justice that she is, went inside the bar and successfully lobbied the hostess to take down this offensive sign.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Thank you for your service, and courage under fire Elaine.
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