
In today’s chapter of “SJW white woman with stick up her twat from wealthy Boston suburb ruins fun for everyone,” we bring you today’s protagonist Elaine Eisenman from Wellesley.
As you can see, Blanche Nevereaux is generally opposed to fun, probably has a “hate has no home here” sign in her yard on a street with no black people, enjoys eating dinner at 4:30, wearing a light jacket when it’s 75 degrees outside, having correct change, drinking tea, owning a landline, anything with Angela Lansbury, writing in cursive, voting, calling TV shows “programs,” drawing herself a warm bath, shaking her head at anyone who tells her to email them, hoping to see a woman president before she dies so long as they’re not a republican, paying with personal checks at Whole Foods, day trips to Needham, and using Facebook to police satire like she did when she saw this sign at Alta Strada Italian restaurant.
Over the weekend Elaine decided to take offense to a sign she saw at Alta Strada Italian restaurant in the center of town.
Holy. Fucking. Shitballs!! We have a reported case of unapproved satire going on on Main Street. Gonna need backup on this one boys! Thank God she threw in the #MeToo hashtag, because this sign is basically an invitation for rape.
Unfortunately for Elaine there were some savages in town that actually stood by this disgusting, “horrifying,” message indicating that the establishment serves alcoholic beverages, and that if you consume said beverages you may become so intoxicated that you are temporarily predisposed to make bad decisions!! Luckily Elaine, being the soldier for justice that she is, went inside the bar and successfully lobbied the hostess to take down this offensive sign.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Thank you for your service, and courage under fire Elaine.
Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:
Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
25 Comment(s)
her smile is like a lone pair of wadded underwear beside railroad tracks and i certainly wouldn’t want to sit across from her cosmetic, stoolpigeon mug at dinner, asking to take her selfie.
Does mushroom tea count? Whats wrong with a landline? I dont want a pocket snitch telling google every single thing I say or where I go not to mention the piss poor reception out here. Eisenman…thats the tell, right there. Oy vey, goyim, do as I say!
If this broad is in the vicinity of a poor schmuck who had chili for lunch and needs to break some wind, is it considered “fart rape”? Just kidding. Useless and rich old crones are too far removed from the blue collar plight. Good grief these twats are truly insufferable.
I want to be inside you in the camper. Stockbridge is lovely this time of year.
whadda cunt. luv frankie
Remember how, back in the 1960’s, liberals were considered the “fun” people to hang out with, and conservatives were the ones with a stick up their ass?
my how times have changed.
“Strong Arms”? Exactly how?
They could have left the sign out.
It’s considered strong arming because the restaurant knew the consequences of them not removing it would be that old hag and all of her limousine liberals would be all over them on social media
I own a landline. Ooma, which doesn’t sound like the womans voice from those lame
commercials a few years ago.
Shitty cell phone signal. 3 bars – no bars – 2 bars in 30 feet. If I stand in the driveway 4 bars. You do what you gotta do.
Turtleboy missed the boat on this one. Its been said in tabloid print allegedly that Elaine actuslly drinks at this establishment and the only way she gets any action is if people are too drunk to see how ugly a person she is. She was defending her turf. The sign suggested sober decisions and that would infringe on her turf
WOW! that was not funny at all!
Sometimes the truth hurts.
One of the most unfortunate effects of early dementia/Alzheimer’s is the victim’s complete lack of awareness of their own decline — which eventually becomes obvious to everyone around them. Those in charge of fundraising for “progressive” political and charitable causes love to shear the wool off these vulnerable types.
If this senile old cunt came up to me and demanded that sign be taken down, I would roundhouse that golden girl whore back to prohibition
beautifully said.
The Welfare housing in Wellesley is so far removed from the town proper that it’s almost comical. If those apartments were any closer to the edge of Route 95 the residents could step out their back doors and get immediately run over by oncoming traffic. Lots of families in town deliberately send their kids to private schools just to avoid the hoi polloi that was transplanted there by social engineers.
Whattacunt!
“paying with personal checks at Whole Foods”
Bitch.
We need more brave activists like Elaine who will expose the alt-right. She quashed their rape culture sign and misogynist agenda dead in it’s tracks. #Stop The Hate.
She’s also afraid of boxcars and showers.
My farts smell like freshly baked bread.
Call Foxboro. I’d like to talk to you.
RUH ROH. I drink tea, am considering a landline (for power outages), write in cursive and vote in every election. If only I had enough money to live in Swellsely, I’d be totally screwed. I’m THISCLOSE to becoming Elaine! :O (However, thanks to the nanny-stater Massholes voting D all the time, lots of my paycheck is ripped away from me so I can barely afford to live where I live, so I’ll never have enough money to live in any of those metrowest SJW towns – WHEW!) I guess one saving grace for me is that I couldn’t give a crap what gender the president is, so long as he or she believes in individual rights and runs the country in actual accordance with the Constitution he or she swore to defend.
I like tea too, the horrors.
The prominent surname Eisenman is a proud symbol of Jewish heritage. This woman isn’t white; when you factor that in, this story makes sense. Just another member of the tribe correcting the mistakes of the goyim.