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Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.
It’s no secret who owns the Turtleboy Sports business. Aidan Kearney is the registered owner with the Secretary of State’s office. He hires bloggers to publish content on the site, and we get paid based on our performance. It’s quite possibly the simplest business model to understand. But so many people think we’re not real. As if one person creates all this daily content while simultaneously running the business. He just creates a bunch of aliases with their own distinct voices and then publishes blogs using their names for the purpose of fooling everyone. This is how insane the people who don’t like Turtleboy are.
Anyway, Aidan’s writing a tell-all book about the nexus, origins, and evolution of Turtleboy. It’s going to explain everything, and will contain a lot of information that’s never been made public before. Word is it should be done in a few weeks. (And no, he’s not revealing names of bloggers)
Well, Bill Shaner over at Worcester Magazine,
and Salty Steve Quist,
a local unemployed boob whose wife recently left him and who runs the Worcester Politics 101 Facebook page, are NOT happy about this book. For those of you unfamiliar with Worcester Magazine, they are a free newspaper you can pick up at Dunkin Donuts that people read while waiting in line for their coffee. We outgrew them years ago, but we still win their award for “Best Local News Outlet” every year like clockwork. It’s great because they hate us so, so much. And Buttmunch Billy Shaner pretty much writes about us every single week in his “Worcesteria” column that four guys waiting in line at Bushel N’ Peck read. Here’s what him and Steve Quist think about the upcoming book:
“Inarguably the worst thing about Worcester.”
How mad is he? Wowzers!! No Bill, the worst thing about Worcester is your wardrobe:
You can derelict my balls.
Worcester loves Turtleboy. It’s our home. Everyone reads us, and 95% of the people can’t get enough of it because unlike your free magazine, we actually do a valuable public service. Meanwhile, you write about us because you know we matter (and you don’t) and that by merely mentioning Turtleboy it will drive traffic towards your free magazine.
Seems like he’s a fan. And he can’t stop reading it either. That’s how he found out about the book to begin with – we mentioned it in passing in an unrelated blog. And he will buy the book. Guaranteed.
We haven’t even mentioned Worcester Magazine in probably a year, because they’re relevant. But this was too hilarious to ignore. We own you Bill. We own you Steve. Never forget.