Nudniks

Called It: Rockland Selectman Deirdre “Bobbin For Boners” Hall Was Banging Eddie Porkchops, Lied About Getting Blackout Drunk, Sexually Harassed Town Administrator, And Her Husband Knew The Whole Time 

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like Turtleboy Sports Returns and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 

 

Rockland Selectman Bobbin for Boners Deirdre Hall finally resigned yesterday after Discrimination and Harassment Solutions determined that she is pretty much the spiciest and horniest elected official since Bill Clinton. Although the town for some reason is not releasing the juicy details, her prey Allan Chiocca’s (the town administrator over whom she had control) attorney spilled the beans in an email. Warning: HOT!!

“Following a thorough investigation that included interviewing 13 witnesses and reviewing 20 exhibits, the Town’s independent investigator, in no uncertain terms, not only completely vindicated Mr. Chiocca of the knowingly frivolous allegations brought by Selectman Deirdre Hall and propped up by Board Chairman Ed Kimball, but definitively concluded in the detailed 29 page report (that the Town has yet to release), that Hall “sexually harassed Mr. Chiocca in violation of the Town’s Sexual Harassment Policy.”

Oh yea, I can totally picture her being a professional grab-asser, pulling a Bryon Hefner with an unsolicited handy at a local hearing of the license commission.

Mr. Chiocca is disheartened that the Rockland Board of Selectmen has voted not to allow a further disclosure of the investigator’s findings, which lay out the disturbing conspiracy of lies concocted by Hall and Kimball to smear the reputation of Mr. Chiocca for their own personal and political benefit. 

First, the full report makes numerous factual findings that prove that Hall’s assertion that she has no recollection of the events that occurred on the night of May 1st is a lie. Specifically, the investigator found that “Hall was conscious and alert and she never vomited, tripped, fell or expressed concerns about her level of intoxication,” and that Hall could not “explain why she has no memory . . . that she does not have a medical condition that causes her to blackout or lose memory, and despite drinking regularly, and consuming as many as 3 to 4 drinks in an evening, she has not suffered memory loss after drinking since she was in her early 20’s.”

Wait a minute. You’re telling me that sometimes chicks get wasted and make bad decisions WITHOUT completely blacking out?? I figured the only way she gave this guy a blowey is if he roofied her and she tripped and fell into a felatio sandwich.

Second, the report makes clear that Hall was set on maliciously harming Mr. Chiocca’s reputation from the start to try and present herself as the victim to mask her own inappropriate conduct; conduct that the investigator found to include “an intense physical and emotional affair [between Hall and Kimball] during the months of March and April 2018, at which time Hall professed her love for Kimball.” 

I KNEW these two were fucking!!! Just look at that chemistry…..

You can tell just by looking at that picture that they can’t wait to get out of there, meet up at a roach infested motel, and pound the paternal piston.

But of course Bobbin for Boners had to ruin it by “falling in love.” Then again, who can resist this guy?

Hopefully he pounds that water down as hard has he pounds……town bylaws.

Disturbingly, the investigator found that “Hall was not concerned that her husband would find out about her affair with Kimball, but rather the impact the news of the affair would have on her candidacy for State Representative should Kimball’s [wife] post it on social media.”

Of course this chick is less concerned about her husband knowing that she’s the town mattress than she is about her poll numbers once her spicy love affair is revealed.

This is the wildest part….

These illicit motives led to Hall concocting an entirely fabricated story about the evening of May 1, that included Hall telling Kimball that they “should not be putting [anything] in writing,” the two going for a “40 minute walk on the rail trail” where Hall continued her fabrications, and a meeting between “Ms. Hall, Mr. Hall, Mr. Kimball and Ms. Kimball . . . at Reeds Pond to discuss the allegations against Mr. Chiocca [where] they all agreed to keep Ms. Hall and Mr. Kimball’s relationship a secret.”

The fact that Eddie Porkchops survived a 40 minute walk without having a heart attack is the most surprising part about this story. I honestly can’t even say that I’m surprised that the two adulterers and the people they were cheating on met in a remote location to discuss how they were going to keep the secret of Eddie Porkchops’ custard truck taking a trip to her park and ride.

Anything is possible in Rockland politics.

Then, once the truth began to come out as part of the investigation, Kimball publicly referred to the investigation as a “sham,”  tried to accuse Mr. Chiocca of tampering with videotaped evidence, and submitted an affidavit in support of Hall’s quickly-dismissed injunction request; all without any regard to the impact this would have on Mr. Chiocca’s reputation, career, well-being and livelihood.

Who can forget this epic display beginning at the 3:00 mark?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That guy so did not want those tapes coming out. He actually said they were doctored before he ever saw them. He lied on an “after David” about hearing audio from a tape with no audio. Be more obvious that you were banging her. You can’t.

As a result, Mr. Chiocca urges the Board of Selectman to release the full 29 page investigative report so that the residents of Rockland are given all the facts regarding this case. Only then will the public understand the full scope of Hall’s and Kimball’s egregious conduct, and the career and life altering impact this has and will continue to have on Mr. Chiocca and his family.

Through this entire ordeal, Mr. Chiocca’s family and friends have stood by his side, and he sincerely appreciates this unwavering support during this incredibly difficult time.”

Best sex scandal ever. I’m almost sad that it’s over, but man, what an ending!! Better than an Eddie Porkchops money shot!! The only way this could get better is if she turns out to be pregnant. It’s been real Bobbin for Boners. Gonna miss ya.

37 Comment(s)
  • T.R.
    July 13, 2018 at 2:23 am

    I’d feed the starfish till it puked out my baby batter.
    Then let her polish the soiled rod.
    After that, she can go right home and give her cuck hubby a big, sloppy kiss.

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    July 12, 2018 at 10:43 am

    Oh the irony of a virtue signaling, #metoo, pink pussy hat-wearing liberal SJW Democrat candidate for state rep getting busted for sexual harassment! She’s Bill Clinton in high heels.

  • Big Boi
    July 11, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    Moving right along now who gets to mount hall next

    • Fawn Liebowitz
      July 11, 2018 at 4:59 pm

      Mount Hall… there’s a liberal arts college waiting to happen

  • Allan Chiocca
    July 11, 2018 at 4:35 pm

    #MeToo

  • Novanglus
    July 11, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    How in the foxtrot uniform charlie kilo does this happen: Hall, Mr. Hall, Kimball, and Mrs. Kimball meet deep on a rail trail for 40 minutes to discuss how to keep an affair between Hall and Kimball secret, and nobody leaves that meeting in an ambulance or a hearse?

    Swingers, right?

    • Pearl Clutcher
      July 11, 2018 at 4:01 pm

      Who knows what lurks deep in the filthy caverns of the liberal mind?

      • Meatwhistler
        July 11, 2018 at 4:38 pm

        Based on this sordid tale, I’m a gonna guess cocks & cock residue.

  • DeepThroat
    July 11, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    Kimball said he would not comment on the nature of the allegations made against him.

    Hall, Chiocca and Kimball are all married.

    Hot in the City!

  • Wade Boggs- Taint
    July 11, 2018 at 1:16 pm

    I would still bang her like a Salvation Army drum. And I’d bet my left nut she’s a squirter.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 11, 2018 at 2:00 pm

      … and has no gag reflex.

  • Bill
    July 11, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    When you go looking for a new home please check and see if many people in the State have heard of this town. If the answer is No then you should not move there. If you are from there you should move out ASAP. I have lived in MA my entire life and most of the towns that TB people are from I have never heard of. Seriouly – Rockland? You sure this isn’t in Maine? No one cares about what goes in this town. If a town could commit suicide then this is in the top 5 list of towns that kill itself.

  • z
    July 11, 2018 at 12:44 pm

    I picture her with a “I’m with her” T-Shirt a pink pussy hat and #metoo posts.

    So, other than quitting, what legal ramifications does she face? If the answer is “None”, that’s not good enough. She made the town jump through hoops for 2 months and lied as an elected official (don’t laugh).

  • Hall's tampon hall is open
    July 11, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    I still love that video of the committee telling that guy off. They obviously knew what was going on.

    I can’t even fathom one spouse being ok with this situation let alone two.

    I disagree that this is over. She will be like Genduso and will be a gift that keeps on giving (pun intended.) She definitely picked the right slogan, she just needed to add to it ‘A Hall for All..men, except my husband.’

    • InTheKnow
      July 11, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      3 spouses….Kimball, Hall & Chiocca

    • Democratic Campaign Strategist
      July 11, 2018 at 3:56 pm

      “Deirdre Hall Does It All!”
      “I Act Just Like A Kennedy!”
      “You Voted For Bill Clinton, And I’m Willing To Do More!”
      “I Was Born In The ’70s When Everybody Was Swapping!”
      “I Inhaled, And I Swallowed!”
      “I’m A Lot More Affectionate Than The Average Politician!”
      etc.

  • Kevin's 9 Iron
    July 11, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    This isn’t over yet. You have a Town Administrator that has been accused of bringing alcohol into Town Hall and other violations. Then on the other hand you have a Town Administrator that just became a #metoo victim and can sue. Finally, the Town Accountant has been placed on leave for planting listening devices and Town Hall was swept by federal agents.

    The best is yet to come!

    • InTheKnow
      July 11, 2018 at 1:28 pm

      Eric Hart has more baggage than all airlines combined. Stay tuned!

  • GOP Spikes The Football Again
    July 11, 2018 at 12:20 pm

    If you’re wondering how a Republican got to be governor of a leftist hippiefest like Massachusetts, it’s because of this twat, Marzilli, Wilkinson, Turner, Scondras and all the other skeevy scumbag Democrats that polluted the state with their presence. Hope her husband sues her, takes everything including the kids, and switches to Republican.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 11, 2018 at 2:04 pm

      Tall Deval is in no way, shape, or form, a Republican, i.e a conservative.

  • Ray Patriarca
    July 11, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    Great job TB !!
    You do the job the so-called “professional journalists” are too inept to do, or don’t have the balls to do !
    Of course, the only way any of this will get play in the MSM is if they get shamed into doing it.
    And the MSM wonders why average Joe Citizen no longer believes a single fucking thing they report?
    Keep it up TB !
    You deserve an Edward R. Murrow award !

  • "No Balls At All" Hall
    July 11, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    I know it sounds weird, but what white suburban Democrat cuck doesn’t like to put on a dress and watch his political slutwife get pounded in every hole by fat townies?

    It would only be better if they were Republicans. “Take that fat dick in your ass, you moonbat cum catcher, and then I’m gonna paint your liberal soccer mom whore face!!” Ooooooooo… where’s the closest highway rest area?

    • ChrisInShrewsbury
      July 11, 2018 at 1:38 pm

      Gold, pure Gold!

      At this point, regardless of how cuck Chris (Hall) is, his skanky wife has brought public shame to him and his 3 children. Internet trophies abound for his children’s friends to find when they get older.

      Chris should position himself wisely, and secure counsel.

  • Leonard Washington
    July 11, 2018 at 11:53 am

    First class work team.

    Deirdre – So long skank.

  • Bob
    July 11, 2018 at 11:18 am

    Nice job in making calls prior to the media as to what transpired…where is the surveillance tape that is going to be released…plan to post?”

  • hank
    July 11, 2018 at 10:48 am

    Guarantee she used to be a fucking blob and lost some weight. Her nose gives it away. Any time a fatty loses the weight the first thing they try to gobble instead of food is cock. And once they get a taste of new cock, the years of cock starvation makes the fatties go on a search and destroy mission on all available cock within reach. Punishment needs to be jail for whatever time the false accusation would carry.

    • Hughbo Mont
      July 11, 2018 at 2:07 pm

      I don’t know… There are plenty of chubby chasers.

  • deflateddoritodinks
    July 11, 2018 at 10:33 am

    Does she have the same condition(s) as Hillary?

  • Walter "Feminists are my speciality" Bird
    July 11, 2018 at 10:29 am

    I have a opening for a opening here at my office. Flexible hours and legs. Under the table wages and more. And I won’t harness you way too much just because you are a chick.

    • Richard Cranium
      July 11, 2018 at 6:33 pm

      #MeToo! Oh shit, someone just had to give up there crown, sorry not sorry….

  • Osiris
    July 11, 2018 at 10:19 am

    Something about her look tells me she’s into some really freaky shit in the bedroom.

    • y
      July 11, 2018 at 11:38 am

      She looks like shit run over backwards.

    • Richard Cranium
      July 11, 2018 at 6:31 pm

      Like Cleveland Steamer type freaky.

  • y
    July 11, 2018 at 9:49 am

    He should sue for DEFINITION of Character

    • Stunt Penis
      July 11, 2018 at 10:22 am

      Someone hook him up with Attorney Richard N. Vulva, Esquire, STAT! Only Solicitor Vulva can pound the FACKS out of this situation and get his client a full settlement for DEFORMATION OF CHARACTER!

  • Coach
    July 11, 2018 at 9:41 am

    Looks like two more headstones are needed asap in the TBS graveyard. Outfuckingstanding job TBS! All the news that’s fit to print can be found right here. Always ahead of the curve and packing sufficient balls to get the dirty work done! Great job!

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron