Cambridge Chud Parking In Handicapped Spot At Organic Food Craft Beer Market Pemberton Farms Is SJW Hypocrisy In A Nutshell 

Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 


We’ve been getting so many story ideas for douchebags who park in handicapped spots that we might have to make it like a weekly segment. I had no idea how problematic this was, because every time I go to a restaurant or a big plaza there’s 25 empty handicapped spots just sitting there. Sure, it would be wicked convenient to park there, but a) it’s completely wrong to do that if you’re not handicapped, and b) I’d be even more afraid of the social stigma that would come along from being the able bodied dickbag parking in a handicapped spot.

Here’s this week’s winner at Pemberton Farms in Cambridge.

I for one am shocked it’s not a Prius.

Pemberton Farms is an organic food mart that sells locally grown fruit and craft beer. In other words, it would go out of business in five seconds if they put it in Lowell, Worcester, or Springfield because they don’t sell Cheetos or Bud Heavy. Don’t get me wrong, the food actually looks really good there and I got hungry just looking at their Facebook page. But this is the kind of place that only exists in social justice warrior conclaves like Cambridge, Amherst, and Northampton. You don’t see a lot of Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s in the hood do you?

Places like this attract the NIMBY, granola eating, 55+ woke wypipo crowd. Not a lot of Trump voters in the house. These are the type of people who would get mad at you if you committed a microaggression or used the wrong pronoun while addressing someone from the BLT-123 community. But parking in handicapped spots when you’re clearly not handicapped is permissable. Oh, and just like the parking job in Providence two weeks ago, this nudnik elected to park on the striped lines which no one is supposed to park on so that a ramp can be deployed from a handicapped van parked adjacent to it.

Alright DMV and toy truck turtle riders, time to do what you do best – give us a name. License plate 3BL843.

25 Comment(s)
  • SMH
    December 16, 2018 at 3:12 am

    Stake out handicapped spots at a Costco, like in Everett or Waltham and see how MOST of the people using them seem to have no trouble walking. This is your chance to even out your racial balance with shaming Asians who love gaming government programs.

  • Jim
    December 14, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    Only survive in Cambridge, Amherst, and Northampton? I’m sure it would thrive in Brookline, Newton and Lexington as well

  • boo
    December 14, 2018 at 10:33 am

    John Edmunds. leased nissan so no address but Somerville garaging

    • Entitled
      December 14, 2018 at 7:05 pm

      John Edmunds, 2 Westwood Rd, Somerville. BA from Harvard, MBA from BU, DBA from Harvard. Professor of finance at Babson. Somerville home valued at 1.6MIL+ Appears to have purchased home in Malborough for his daughter, valued at 600K+
      Immunized from TB due to entitlement granted by Harvard.

  • JoeMomma
    December 14, 2018 at 8:12 am

    My mother has MS, she would have parked behind him, blocked him in and called the cops, then she would spend a few hours shopping while she waited for the tow truck

  • Mr Wonderful
    December 14, 2018 at 12:51 am

    The license plate is clearly visible. Who does it belong to? Please shame this idiot.

  • z
    December 13, 2018 at 10:52 pm

    So South Shore Turtle Girl dumps on Stephanie Marie Teixeira on the 7th for posting about someone doing a crappy job of parking. Goes on a tear. Can’t say I disagree.

    Now, we have Western Mass Turtlegirl posting about someone doing a shitty job of parking. Again, can ‘t say I disagree.

    I can only conclude that WMTG is in reality SMT and SSTG doesn’t like WMTG.
    WMTG is writing about a parking incident pretty far from Western Mass and much closer to Stephanie.
    Do I get a prize for my geometric logic?
    Maybe strawberries?

    • Sup
      December 13, 2018 at 11:20 pm

      Is this comment supposed to be the real life version of the board game Clue? Was it South Shore Turtle Girl in the library with a candlestick? I think you’re over thinking it.

      • Drago
        December 14, 2018 at 8:17 pm

        This guy Edmunds is Professor Plum in the closet with a dildo

  • Don Kiddick
    December 13, 2018 at 10:10 pm

    This strunz supreme not only blocked a handicap space but also the emergency access-way into the store by police/fire/EMT personnel, too. What a maroon…

  • DQ
    December 13, 2018 at 9:53 pm

    These people should be condemned to exile for doing this shit. I’m actually surprised that size store only has 1 spot allocated for handicapped parking. Also, the car in the handicapped spot doesn’t have a placard hanging on the rear view mirror or a special plate, so I’m calling that fucker out, too.

    • Akihito
      December 14, 2018 at 8:01 pm

      My Mom never got a placard but I’d I’d park her car in handicap spots oftenn if I didn’t just pull up right in front to get her out and into her wheelchair and move elsewhere after. I’d get PO’d at this guy.

  • Diane Woods emerson
    December 13, 2018 at 9:39 pm

    If I had a handicapped van with a ramp I would just make it deploy. Fuck their car. What are they going to do call the cops they hate and complain they were parked illegally.

  • Your friendly city truck driver
    December 13, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    This is why i double park and block cars in when i make deliveries in boston, cambridge, belmont. I look for assholes that are illegally parked in loading zones or commercial spots and pull up and unload. Fuck them, i don’t pay the parking tickets. I would never block a hydrant or handicap spot but the assholes that park in them will prevent me from legally parking.

    • Y
      December 13, 2018 at 9:05 pm

      Love it:

      • msheadkracker
        Im an Asshole..
        December 15, 2018 at 2:26 pm

        Always an American classic…

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 13, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    I love it when I see Obama Hillary andBernie stickers on cars. Those idiots are so lazy they don’t even remove them.

  • Chet Manley
    December 13, 2018 at 6:32 pm

    Another self-righteous douchenozzle. What he really needs is a fucking tune-up ala parking lot style. Kick that motherfucker in the nuts and curbstomp him. Guarantee he’ll never pull that shit again.
    Stop taking pictures and give these people some street justice. That’s the only way this shit will stop.

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    December 13, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    I hate these assholes. They are just as bad as the whiteheads who just pull in at any angle and shut the car off. Fucking ignorant bastards. As long as they get what they want they don’t give a crap about anyone or anything. He’s probably from fucking Winchester… Land of the entitled…

  • hank
    December 13, 2018 at 6:01 pm

    Oh, that’s Comb-over Larry. He’s really insecure about being bald. And…….He’s With Her—–>

  • Stunt Penis
    December 13, 2018 at 5:54 pm

    Liberals? Hypocrites? noooooooooo.

  • Y
    December 13, 2018 at 5:41 pm

    He looks like my economics professor, Prof. Jakub Rubensteinberg

  • Y
    December 13, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    Think you meant enclave, not conclave.
    Got fucked,
    Grammar Douche

  • inquisitive guy
    December 13, 2018 at 5:35 pm

    is the car in the handicaped spot actually handicapped

  • Michael Hunt
    Mike Hunt
    December 13, 2018 at 5:25 pm

    That’s Cunt Cuntington from Cuntington, CT

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron