Captain Dick Whistler Messages Half Of Fitchburg’s Female Population With Offer To Smoke Or Golf, Calls Them Terrible Things When They Don’t Respond Or Say No


This is Adam Catalanotti, formerly of Milford but a somewhat recent resident of Fitchburg.

He makes your lady bits tingle just looking at him. And because he’s God’s gift to women he also has a tendency to message random chicks on the Discussing Fitchburg Now Facebook group (one of the few remaining pages that hasn’t been hijacked by an overzealous administrator on a power trip) and ask them to hang out. But the problem is, he doesn’t like taking no for an answer…..

He had never met with or spoken to this woman before. He saw her post on a community page and thought to himself, “I’m gonna ask this stranger to hang out with me, and then when she doesn’t respond within 30 minutes I’m gonna go into full stalker mode.”

Any somewhat NORMAL guy understands that this woman is either busy or has no interest in him and just doesn’t want to tell him that. But since he’s not good at taking hints he demanded to know what her “problem” was, because God knows it couldn’t possibly be something HE did.

Guys, don’t ever do this. Not that you’d be tempted to. But chuds like this are the absolute worst. “All you had to do was say I’m busy and I will get back to you and it’s over.”

Hey, here’s a thought dick whistler – maybe she doesn’t want to get back to you because you’re a WEIRDO. She doesn’t have to reply to you. She doesn’t have to be polite. She. Owes. You. Nothing.

As soon as spank bank victim #1 came forward a bunch of other women started sharing their stories.   


There it is again – “doesn’t make it look good to assume.”

This is what psychopaths like this do. They lecture you about how YOU are the fucked up one because you don’t wanna smoke a blunt with captain donkey lips and then grease up his hog for desert. Nowhere in there did she say she thought he was a killer or a scumbag, although I probably would’ve been thinking that. She just says she didn’t feel like hanging out with a stranger, and because of that she was lectured about how she shouldn’t “assume” things she never assumed in the first place.

But wait… turns out SHE is the one who could have bodies in her basement….

Ya got that? Freddy fingerblast is willing to give HER the benefit of the doubt, since he’s such a friendly guy and all.

Nevertheless he persisted…..

He’s not just looking to smoke up and hang out with random chicks on DFN though. He’s also looking to go golfing with them too.


Don’t do it Sam!! It’s a trap!!

Sam is a City Councillor and I tip my hat to her for running a pretty fairly regulated page. I understand you can’t let EVERYTHING go, or else the guy with the Obama memes shows up and turns it into a Thanksgiving nightmare. But she doesn’t stop discussions like this from taking place because it’s important for women to warn other women about a creepy dude in their midst who they should avoid. Especially with random women being taken from bars by people who act just like this mongoloid.

But alas Sam is out of town so she left this douche twinkie in charge and he not only took the post down, he banned members from PMing people about what was discussed.

Hey Sam, come get your boy. He’s ruining the last bastion of freedom on Facebook.



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20 Comment(s)
  • Mr.? Gabe Murchison
    March 17, 2019 at 11:00 am

    Moving from Milford to Fitchburg….What an upgrade

  • Micro penis
    March 16, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    Being one hundred percent honest the main reason I deleted my Facebook ( not only because of of all the people in fake recovery or the moms baking cookies with the child they no longer even have custody of anymore. lmao) but the main reason was because I was so sick and tired of getting a mesg from someone I didn’t know with their dick pic attached. It’s always great to be told your attractive, but come on. At least let me say hello in return back to you, before you feel the need to send pictures of your little guy. And most of them shouldn’t be taking pictures of their package at all because first impressions are everything and the tiny little dick pic is really only hurting their them hahaha.. but yup being a attractive girl and having a Facebook account you really are just setting yourself up for this kind of shit and every creep and weirdo out there to wack off to you at the beach. And when ever you open a new mesg from a man you don’t know… beware of the pop up. And I’m not talking about a ad. Lol!! The best way I found to put a end to it was to delete my Facebook all together, keep your peeps to yourselves and make sure someone wants to see it before you send it. Such weirdos lmfao

  • Dr. Freud
    March 16, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    What a F**King tool and d-bag. Hasn’t appeared to do any thing “illegal” yet, but his persistence indicates terminal narcissism.

  • Joe Shmidlap
    March 16, 2019 at 11:35 am

    I went to HS with this pigeon. Definitely not shocked. I’m not sucking up for him by any means but I think TB is getting away from breaking news that the MSM won’t and just going after a weirdo who messages broads and who obviously isn’t playing with a full deck. Let’s stick to the controversial shit like breaking the state police scandal and actual news.

  • Mom’s Basement
    March 16, 2019 at 11:07 am

    This guy just doesn’t know his market. You’re in Fitchburg dude. Offer to sell food stamps 40 cents on the dollar and invite the hottest chick that responds over to chill. THEN bust out the weed and booze and pizza bagels etc. I should be getting paid for this.

  • Dick LaBone
    March 16, 2019 at 10:58 am

    Perhaps he should start a GoFraudMe for a blow up sex doll..

  • Have You Seen My Baseball?
    March 16, 2019 at 9:45 am

    I don’t know if it’s appropriate that we make fun of the handicapped. Clearly him and his friend are special.

  • LOB
    March 16, 2019 at 9:19 am

    This guy is from the casting extras from One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest!

  • Diane Woods emerson
    March 16, 2019 at 9:12 am

    He felt the need to explain that a 40c is a 40 cal. I feel super confident with him having guns. Sure I do. Yup.

    • True Reality Speaks
      True Reality Speaks
      March 16, 2019 at 11:13 am

      Between buying a bargain basement Ruger and the fact he got it in “fotay” pretty much tells you all you need to know about this mall ninja poseur. Wonder how he’ll pass the suitability hurdle at his next renewal with this stuff out there? Douchebags like this give the gun grabbers all the evidence they need to convert more lemmings.

  • Siskel
    March 16, 2019 at 8:36 am

    Gotta pose as a hot chick… Meet up and beat the fucking shit outta him. Case closed.

  • Chief Wiggum
    March 16, 2019 at 8:20 am

    Hint to self Adam, not a good time to be posting selfie’s with weapons.
    Combine that and an over the top approach you’re more likely to get a date with a Federal Agent.

  • Where's Waldo
    March 16, 2019 at 7:38 am

    I think we finally found out who Francis Sidebottom is, from now on we should all call him Chef.

    • eugene
      March 16, 2019 at 9:06 am

      Maybe not the Feds but the Chief of Police in the town he lives will revoke his LTC in a heart beat.The Chief probably doesn’t know,yet.

  • Randall Guy
    March 16, 2019 at 7:13 am

    Hi Adam. I’ll go golfing with you. HMU

    • Tiger Hoods
      March 16, 2019 at 8:17 am

      I’ll hit you up-side the head with a 4 iron.

  • JB4Mayor
    March 16, 2019 at 6:50 am

    Joe Bowen is running for Mayor of Fitchburg. LOL

    • WhatTheFuck
      March 16, 2019 at 7:16 pm

      Bo Jowen looks like a poor relation of Steve Mnuchin.

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