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Here’s a virtue signaling Facebook post out of Oregon that has gone viral like no other Facebook post has before.
Currently this post sits at almost 1 million likes, 240,000 comments, and 165,000 shares. I’ve never seen a post this big. I also highly doubt any of this actually happened. Let’s review the story…..
So I’m driving down the road this morning and the cars in front of me are driving over a black thing in the road. It’s going between their tires so I’m guessing it’s a box.
How do you see what cars in front of you are driving over if they’re in front of you?
It’s a kitten just sitting upright shaking like a leaf.
If a kitten was sitting upright in the road and went in between the tires of multiple cars, I’m pretty sure the kitten would be decapitated. Just sayin.
And some asshole had spread glue on its paws and stuck it to the road. I thought maybe it walked through glue somewhere but after looking at it, that was totally spread into her paws. She was wet and freezing and literally glued to the road. And NO ONE STOPPED. 😳 What the f$&k people???
Stop right there. He wants us to believe that a bunch of commuters saw a kitten that was literally GLUED to the road, and not a single person stopped until he came along. Sure thing.
I slammed on my brakes and stopped all the traffic and put my hazards on and got out and pealed her off the road. People were honking and all pissy….really??? It’s a kitten glued to the road!! So after a goo gone bath and some food and cream we have a new kitten. Luckiest kitten in the world!
Thank you for your service sir. Someone please get this man a Facebook medal.
He stopped traffic on this busy road to save a poor kitten that somehow was superglued to pavement. Everyone else in this story is human garbage, who either ran over the kitten, or honked at him for trying to save the kitten’s life. In a world full of such terrible people, it’s great to have one beacon of light shining down on us like Chuck Hawley.
Eat your heart out Maude!
This story is an obvious lie for so many reasons. Asides from the Disney-esque good vs. evil plot line, there’s also the question of how the kitten got there in the first place. The road sounds like a busy road. Yet some villain walked into the middle of it, put glue on the kitten’s paws, pressed the poor thing down on the pavement for however long it takes glue to dry, and left without being hit by a car or even seen.
Yup, that definitely happened.
Then when Cheeseburger Chuck showed up he “peeled” the kitten off the asphalt, which remarkably didn’t seriously injury the thing. All the kitten needed was a bath and some tussin and they were good to go.
Obviously this story is completely made up, but everyone is falling for it anyway because that’s the way the Internet works now. People like a good fairy tale. Here’s the thing that shocks me – there’s no GoFundMe yet. Usually when people lie like this they’re trying to cash in on it.
Not Cheeseburger Chuck though. He’s in it strictly for the Facebook praise.
Even his “Sticky the Kitty” page has over 25,000 followers now.
USA Today wrote about him and called him a “hero” several times.
“She’s already well-established with the dogs and everybody else,” said Chuck Hawley, the hero of this story. It was about 7 a.m. and he was traveling west just past Cordon Road NE. Ahead of him, he saw cars weaving to avoid something on the road, their tires just missing the object. It was still dark outside. He couldn’t tell if it might have been a box or a sack. And then, after a truck swerved past the object, he saw the silhouette of what he described as a “kitten emoji.”
This story keeps getting better and better. Now it was dark outside (at 7 AM) and he only saw the kitten because of the shadow it cast, which of course looked like an emoji.
Of course we know this guy is capable of lying because he gave a restaurant he never went to a five star review:
The Red Hen was the restaurant in Lexington, VA that wouldn’t serve Sarah Sanders and her family because she works for Trump. This guy has obviously never been there before, but he values discrimination so he gave them a five star review anyway.
At the end of the day he’s just a woke, attention seeking liar. But at least his lie doesn’t really hurt anyone, so I guess it’s harmless. It just goes to show how people love fairy tales that make them feel warm and fuzzy inside. Especially when there’s a villain gluing kittens to highways.