Mainstream Media Fails

Clive – When You Come At The Turtleboy You Best Not Miss

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Today’s the day that Clive finally published his long awaited story about the Turtleboy. And I have to admit I am disappointed. I really thought it would be more scathing. I mean, even Buffalobruises put a better effort in than this clown show, and he’s had five months to put his masterpiece together. Let’s check out just how bad it is….

“Aidan Kearney, son of former School Committee member Mary Mullaney, is the face behind TurtleBoy Sports, a crass and craven local blog that peddles the cheap thrills that dehumanizing groups and individuals bring to some people.

Up until now, Mr. Kearney had hidden behind a veil of anonymity, but his eagerness to make a fortune on the returns that meanness and insensitivity get you these days apparently got the better of him.”

First of all, as a friend of Aidan’s I’ve had many encounters with Mary Mullaney. Usually she’s yelling at me and telling me and Aidan that we’re hanging with the wrong crowd. We were 26 at the time.

And newsflash Clive – people have been accusing Aidan of being Turtleboy for MONTHS now. Stop giving yourself credit for breaking this “story.” As usual you picked up the scraps of what was left behind. made this accusation FIVE MONTHS ago. Ya got that? You’re copying a website called “” and somehow doing a worse job than they did. You are truly skilled in the art of dooshnozzlery.


“Mr. Kearney still claims that Turtleboy is a number of different bloggers, but he is the registered and sole owner of Turtleboy Digital Marketing, a domestic limited partnership described as a “blogging website that will raise revenue through selling AD space and possibly merchandize.”

Mr. Kearney’s Worcester address is the business address, so however he chooses to distance himself from the blog, he owns it legally and morally. “

That’s it Clive? That’s all ya got? You found the marketing company we pay to sell ad space and t-shirts? You realize we pay him right? Like, a little bit of research would’ve told you that. People who wanna make money need to hire marketers. That’s what we did. It’s not the same thing as owning the blog. I guess I should’ve figured you would fail to do even the most basic of research for your story.

“It is not so much that the blog writes off some Worcester parents and their children as savages. Among its entries, for example, you will find, in reference to a North High School incident, “Would you want your job performance to be based on how a bunch of savages do on a standardized test?” And, “Kids are being raised by savages,” referring to an incident in which parents took their children off a school bus.”

You have no idea how aroused I got when he made a reference to Busgate. We’ve published some edgy bl0gs in the past, but that wasn’t one of em. Every normal person in the world agreed with that blog.

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Quick refresher about Busgate. The bus stopped and the kindergarteners were supposed to be let off first. The all-star mom of a second grader tried marching onto the bus to demand her kid get off first. Because….fuck rules. Then the bus driver closed the door and called police because that’s what the protocol is to make sure kids don’t get nabbed up by crackheads.

After this of course the crowd lost their shit and started encouraging the kids to jump out the emergency exit. It culminated in a Blair Witch-style bus raid during which time the female bus driver was repeatedly and violently assaulted by a 16 year old girl.

Newsflash Clive – that is the DEFINITION OF SAVAGE behavior. Anyone who denies that is savagery is a professional dooshnozzle. Period. As a matter of fact here’s the definition of savage:

Savage; adjective1.(of an animal or force of nature) fierce, violent, and uncontrolled.

Fierce? Check.

Violent? Oh yea.

Uncontrolled? Like you read about.

The video speaks for itself.

Everyone with a brain qualifies that behavior as savage. Because it is. That’s a fact. Not even the protesters had a problem with that blog. Just Clive and the Busgate parents. Like this Busgate parent supporter:

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Well Clive, you’ve got some good company with this winner:

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Turtleboy Sports aligns itself with teachers, cops, nurses, firefighters, and other contributing members of society. Clive and Telegram align themselves with Level 3 sex offenders. Nuff said.

Apparently there is no such thing as savage behavior to Clive. Of course we knew that was his position already since he’s said time after time that he doesn’t think students who punch teachers and principals in the face should be suspended if they are of a particular ethnic group. We also know that Clive hates teachers at North High and has no problem judging them based on the standardized test scores of students who punch them in the face. So I guess it’s not surprising when his reaction to every administrator at North getting punched in the face by a kid, is that we don’t understand their culture.

What makes these callous and insensitive comments more troubling is that this guy, until recently a teacher at Shepherd Hill Regional High School, appears to have a fair share of enablers. So much so that he feels the blog is the true voice of the community, bragging of how warmly it and its cesspool of profanity-laden commentary are being received by judges, doctors, nurses, teachers, cops and firefighters.

Hey Turtle riders – Clive just called you “enablers.” Congratulations, you’ve joined the long list of normal people who Clive doesn’t like.

Newsflash Clive – this blog is the voice of the community.

That’s why we have triple your readership.

That’s why the Telegram has nothing to report about except it’s competition.

That’s why the Telegram is three days behind us on every story.

That’s why they literally copied us several times.

That’s why you purposely antagonize the community for page views.

That’s why you’re gonna be my coffee bitch in a couple years.

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You’re just butthurt because you wasted your time majoring in journalism and working your way through the system (although we all know why you have your job today), only to lose in the pageviews battle to a bunch of dudes that call themselves Turtleboy. That must suck.

And guess what Clive? Your’e no different than we are. You write inflammatory columns meant to piss off and offend people. You wrote about Doherty Vice Principal Bernard Reese, and commended him for saying that black students can’t learn from white teachers. You said that North High teachers are the worst in the city. You said that the Worcester Police are inherently racist five million times. 

And what did you get from all that? Oh yea, page views. You get more comments on your articles than the rest of the staff at the Telegram combined. You are a click-baiting whore and you’re very good at it. Don’t act like you’re not in the game Clive, because you’re knee deep in it just as much as we are.

Who am I to contradict him? The blog does run advertisements for area businesses and professionals. It is featured on the website of a local media outlet, and a North High School teacher once posted it to her Facebook page.  

Uh-oh North teachers – Clive is watching your Facebook pages to make sure you’re not reading Turtleboy!!! Why do you hate hard working North High teachers so much Clive?

Last October, his alleged lewd and intimidating behavior toward a young woman at a Patriots-Buffalo Bills game in Buffalo triggered an investigation by school officials at Shepherd Hill. Mr. Kearney, however, chose to resign rather than face the music.

Like I said, I was at the game with Aidan. I called the principal and left her a voicemail that it was me who wrote the article and that none of that actually happened. Surprisingly I never heard back from her. It’s shocking someone wouldn’t want to work for a principal like that.

Superintendent of Schools Gregg Desto confirmed that the school and Mr. Kearney came to a mutual agreement to part ways before the investigation was completed.

Oh well, their loss is our gain. Turning Turtleboy into a business has been a great move for the local Worcester economy. Local businesses get exposure. People go out and spend their money on delicious food from Dell’ovos, used cars from North End Motor Sales, defense attorneys like Mike Erlich and Anthony Salerno, tattoo shops like Zaza Ink, quality dentists like Robert McCarthy, quality plumbers like Scavone Plumbing, haircuts from The Buzz, beer from the Union Tavern, delicious sandwiches from Weepin Willies, hot bodies at Worcester Crossfit, smashed up car parts from Car Heaven, home and care insurance from JJM Insurance, spring cleaning from Anna’s Cleaning, and delicious wings from Smokestack Urban Barbecue.

Turtleboy has helped make the Worcester economy vibrant. But yet, people should spend $954 on a digital ad in the Telegram instead so they can fund Clive’s salary and health insurance. Makes sense.


Mr. Kearney, not surprisingly, framed his departure differently. He “quit,” he said, not because of the investigation, but because he didn’t want to be fingerprinted (Massachusetts teachers are mandated to do so now), and because he had become disillusioned as a teacher.

Aidan’s actually the person that first brought the fingerprinting thing to my attention. I couldn’t BELIEVE it. I happen to work in the private sector, and in the private sector when a company mandates that you do something (like training) they pay for it. That’s how the real world works. I don’t blame anyone who wouldn’t want to pay $55 to have their fourth amendment rights violated.

He dropped the names of two former area high school teachers, noting that their departure was based on allegations of abusing and having sex with students, and he suggested that they, not he, are the teachers I should be writing about.

Oh, you mean this story about the teacher who resigned because he was diddling students? The Stonebridge Press and Village Newspaper somehow found out about that story, but you and your cronies at the Telegram did not. Of course that would’ve required actual research, which Clive obviously hates to do.

But I have the right guy, all right.  

LOL. Clive my man, you have no fucking clue who I am, nor will you ever know the identity of ANY of the dozens of people who have written blogs on Turtleboy Sports. I guess it’s a lot easier to tell yourself you’ve got the right guy because it makes you believe you actually did something to earn your bare-bones salary. Anyway, here’s a little research I did for you:

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People like him like to cling to their anonymity because it allows them to spread their filth in the dark, and still reap the benefits afforded those who live responsibly in our society. 

His sham isn’t lost on anyone, but his joke is on us, because if his duplicity doesn’t make him prosperous, he still has in his pocket a teacher’s license ready to use on the savages he so despises.

How butthurt are you that this whole Turtleboy thing is working out? Have you seen the comments on your article? Have you seen the response from the public. No one likes you. Lots and lots of people have ended their subscription to the Telegram solely because of you. You are literally taking money out of the Telegram’s pockets. And instead of letting you go they are laying off qualified reporters who don’t whore themselves out for page views like you do.

As for Aidan, I guess he still has a teaching license but if you ask me he’d be insane to wanna go back to teaching. Have you seen the way teachers have been treated? And then your newspaper tries to humiliate them by publishing their salaries every year.

From what he tells me he loved teaching and the interaction he had with students. And from what I’ve read from students online, he apparently did his job well. Personally, and no offense to my teacher friends, but I think you’re kind of insane to pick a job where people are more concerned with what you’re posting online than what you do in the classroom.

But it’s people like Clive who make it that type of job by calling out North High teachers for what they’re writing and reading on social media.

I’m trying to get Aidan to write a guest blog for us, but he’s dragging his feet. I think I can convince him to come out of the Turtle closet though. If any of his former students wants to go on record about their interactions we’d be interested in speaking with you as well.

In the meantime here’s what I want turtle riders to do:

  • Clive’s email is Email him a picture of you, your kids, your dog, your toys, or whoever, with a sign saying “I Am Turtleboy.”
  • Send me the same picture and I’ll post it in an upcoming blog called, “I Am Turtleboy Round 2.” The first one was a big success. But I want this one to be EPIC. Get creative. Do something cool. Even toss in a #SuckItClive if you want to. Let him know that the community is with us and not with him.
  • Let us know how many and what sizes of “I Am Turtleboy” shirts you would like to order, because those are coming soon. Message us on Facebook.

The bottom line is that I was expecting much better from Clive. I know, that was dumb of me. But I’m really shocked that this was the best shot he could take. Hey Clive, when you come at the Turtle, you best not miss.



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35 Comment(s)
  • June 5, 2015 at 7:23 pm

    The FDA decided to crack down on supplements that they thought were a precursor to steroids and resembled their behaviour.

  • David Ortiz is my mom
    March 11, 2015 at 1:33 pm

    while all of you are arguing who he is or who he isnt and so on

    im just here fascinated at all the usernames turtleboy keeps creating to ‘anonomously’ defend himself on here.

  • PattyO33
    March 5, 2015 at 4:20 pm

    Anyone who regularly reads this or cares who turtle boy is needs a life re-evaluation

    • RSoxGuy
      March 5, 2015 at 4:54 pm

      You just read it didnt you?

  • Harold
    March 4, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    Bullshit. If turtleboy isn’t who Clive says he is then why the fuck would his buddy have left his post at his job without a fight if he was so innocent? Innocent people don’t come to terms they fight. Guilty people duck out the way he did.

    Oh wait, I forgot that the school paid him a full year’s salary to leave quietly and not sue them. Now it makes sense.

    • Finnish Goalie
      March 4, 2015 at 8:03 pm

      Telling you man, once the Wormtown Brewery is set on Shrewsbury Street, you gotta be there. Will be great.

      Invite just keeps getting ignored. It hurts, a bit.

  • Karl Hungus
    March 4, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    For the record I still don’t believe the story about how your buddy was wrongfully accused of being the main proprietor of the blog.

    But let’s say I do believe it- in that case- you’re a really, really bad friend for letting your friend take the blame and providing no proof other than your word that you’re not him. It’s sad really. If I were him id want nothing to do with you.

  • Non Sequitor
    March 4, 2015 at 3:45 pm

    Wow, what a disappointment by Clickbait Clive. My first thought was exactly “That’s all you got?” Lame.

    Let’s get one thing straight. Clickbait Clive is NOT a journalist. He is a “columnist.” Instead of having to present facts, he is allowed to give his opinion. He is a newspaper’s version of an entertainer.

    Clickbait Clive and his partner in crimes against humanity (Dianne Williamson) are the T&G’s minorities, or special interest columnists, a holdover from the days when the paper was a bit more right leaning. Columnists now are nothing more than newsprint versions of bloggers. Seriously.

    Their main constituency isn’t the normal T&G reader, it’s the bum in the library reading the paper for free, or getting their free internet and reading online somewhere. That the paper has kept them on is disgusting, especially in light of the layoffs of real journalists and forcing out guys like Thomas Caywood. It’s amazing that Williamson can get suspended more than once, shit on widows, stay closeted yet keep her job.

    Anyone with half a brain knows WHAT turtleboy is. The WHO doesn’t really matter. It’s some campy fun, irreverent, disrespectful, opinionated and rude, calling a spade a spade. All the things the middle class can’t do anymore. Specifically because of people like Clickbait Clive and Williamson. If we say something rude or disrespectful, we must be racist haters, no matter where we work or what we do to benefit all of society.

    So Long Live Turtleboy, even if you are going through a period of taking yourself a bit too seriously.

    • Frogshit
      March 4, 2015 at 6:00 pm

      Non…. I’m mostly with you but at least Dianne Williamson is somewhat readable. (Above average time). Tom Caywood was a good Journalist. Sadly, the T&G is no longer about “reporting” news. They turned the reins over to idiots like Clive and that super fucktard Baldino so that drones would continue to hang out. I keep my subscription merely out of daily habit. Pathetic as I am, I can’t break the cycle of reading the Comics, Sports Page and Dear Annie!

  • March 4, 2015 at 2:45 pm


    Half the time I agree with your opinions and half the time I don’t. However, regardless of my personal beliefs, please please please get yourself a proofreader. I’ll even do it for you.

    Ok thanks,


    • RSoxGuy
      March 4, 2015 at 3:19 pm

      Its a blog man. hes not writing a novel.

      Ease up on the Spelling Nazi routine. Nobody really cares.

      • March 4, 2015 at 3:42 pm

        Would that thou wouldst fuck thyself.

      • David Oriz Takes Steroids
        March 4, 2015 at 4:32 pm

        Get off his dick holy shit

        • March 4, 2015 at 4:36 pm

          Coming from the guy who called him a coward and a liar on a post above?

          • David Oriz Takes Steroids
            March 4, 2015 at 4:51 pm

            RSox Guy is all over here defending turtleboy like its his fucking child. What does telling him to get off of his dick have to do with my previous comments? Nothing. Good post though.

  • Devils Mouthpiece
    March 4, 2015 at 2:10 pm

    Ya smoked him TB!!! I can just see Clive McFarFetched pacing around asking why he brought the wrath of TB onto himself! Lame ass article Clyde! Not even close.

  • Clive Needs a New Headshot
    March 4, 2015 at 2:05 pm

    Keep up the good work Turtleboy.

    For real though.. Clive needs a new Headshot he’s been using that same one forever. Hiding those grey hairs is he?

  • guy
    March 4, 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Clive pls

  • RSoxGuy
    March 4, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    Awwww, poor Clive “the racist” McFarland got owned by TB! Wats the matterClive?

    U MAD BRO???

  • Dave
    March 4, 2015 at 12:31 pm

    Congrats turtleboy!! You are the reason that Clive finally wrote an “article” without bring up the race card. A first indeed for that racist piece of dog shit. Well done

  • Poop
    March 4, 2015 at 12:30 pm

    Yo, Omar would fucking hate you, just saying.

  • Tom Brady
    March 4, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    Blah, blah, blah. You truly are a delusional piece of shit.

  • Yes
    March 4, 2015 at 12:04 pm

    You’re copying a website called “” and somehow doing a worse job than they did.
    As opposed to a site called Turtleboy Sports, which never talks about sports?

    Just saying.

    • Wabbitt
      March 4, 2015 at 5:16 pm

      Of the last 40 articles, 8 are sports related. That’s 20%, which is about the same amount of actual sports coverage on ESPN. You know, when they can squeeze it in between discussions about what LeBron had for breakfast.

  • Frogshit
    March 4, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    I too am so disappointed. I woke this morning and got all warm and fuzzy thinking Jivin’ Clive was gonna’ rip Turtleboy a new asshole. What I got (as usual) was a watered down, boring version of some events that Clive never took the time to really put any effort into checking out. He merely stroked a few keys, passed it across his bosses desk, (shortly after sticking his nose up his ass…) and waited for the Comment section to light up! Typical crap. His backers are frothing at the mouth and sharing their own stories of how they too have been slandered by the Turtle! Oh, the injustice! Such a borefest…. Yawn……..

  • Egg McMullin
    March 4, 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Wow what a fucking pussy you are! You claim to not be who Clive accuses you of being but you still won’t admit who you are so you let your “friend” take the fall for it?

    Pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy pussy. Karma is coming for you, that’s for sure.

  • Adam
    March 4, 2015 at 11:56 am

    The only downside to this article is that Clive might get some more page views from it. Ride Turtle Boy ride!

  • David Oriz Takes Steroids
    March 4, 2015 at 11:52 am

    Lies lies lies. Everyone knows who you really are bro. Keep hiding behind your internet walls and denying though, letting your “friend” have his reputation tarnished.

    Either that’s you, and you’re denying it or it isn’t and he really is just your friend who was caught in the wrong place at the wrong time- in which case you are the shittiest piece of shit friend in the world for not publicly coming forward and acknowledging who you are so to save the reputation of your friend.

    In a word, you are the very definitive essence of a coward.

    • Pshhhh
      March 4, 2015 at 12:20 pm

      Because your real name is ‘David Ortiz takes steroids’? COWARD! LMAO who cares who the hell he or she is! #ridetheturtle little papi!

      • David Oriz Takes Steroids
        March 4, 2015 at 1:20 pm

        Last I checked I don’t write a blog that bashes people, and I don’t let my name take the fall for things after doing so. Way to totally miss the point you stupid fuck.

        • RSoxGuy
          March 4, 2015 at 3:33 pm

          ” in which case you are the shittiest piece of shit friend in the world ”
          ” Way to totally miss the point you stupid fuck.”

          You are right, you didnt blog about it, you replied bashing people all the while hiding behind a name like we all do.


          • David Oriz Takes Steroids
            March 4, 2015 at 4:31 pm

            Again, I don’t have a blog and I bash someone who is anonymous themselves and has bashed countless people who didn’t deserve it thus he deserves it.

            The real point is he lets his friend take the fall on his behalf.

            So everything I say about you being a fucking moron is true and I’d happily say it to your face.

    • SUL
      March 4, 2015 at 8:24 pm

      Hypocrite much? Must have been hard going through life with the name David Ortiz takes Steriods huh?

  • fauxsoup
    March 4, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Methinks thou doth protest too much.

    • March 4, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      Methinks thou dost*

      don’t you know your early english grammar?

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