I get a lot of submissions of Karens out there shaming people on Facebook for living their lives like normal human beings, so I’ve decided to start a Commie Cold Karen of the Day blog series to help us get through this. It’s really simple – if you see a Karen on Facebook (or anywhere else, but Facebook has a monopoly on Karens) then send me a DM at Clarence Woods Emerson, or email it to email@example.com. Today’s Commie Cold Karen of the Day is Jessica Michelson Berger who was busy policing the mean streets of Beverly.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
Two outlaws standing 10 feet away from another human being in public? Obviously they want old people to die. It’s a well known fact that everyone who doesn’t blindly submit to the demands of the Karens hates old people.
What kind of old hippie are you Karen?
You people are supposed to be chill and laid back. Now you’re out here narcing for the man. You’ve changed Karen. You’ve changed.
Here’s an idea – if you’re this petrified of getting the commie cold then take your own advice and “stay the fuck home.” No one is forcing anyone to go out. You are free to go full Ann Frank until a vaccine has arrived.
Studies are starting to come in and they’re showing that social distancing doesn’t necessarily work. Large groups of families are dying en masse, and guess why? Because we’re forcing them to live on top each other when they could be outside not doing that.
People who say that you want old people to die if you disagree that there isn’t another way to handle this crisis are not serious adults. You don’t have to take them seriously. They are fear mongerers drunk on power. The world will never be coronavirus free until there is a vaccine, and I’m not sheltering in place until that comes. It’s also not my job to cater to the delusions of Karens.
What’s really scary is that instead of being mocked, Karens always find plenty of other Karens who thank them for alerting the world that two people without masks were 10 feet away from an old dude in Beverly:
Oh you didn’t hear? The rule is 13 feet now. It “changed.” Just like that. Tracey with an e said so and she used a hashtag so it’s gotta be true.
I will not be wearing a mask. I just won’t. It’s cool if you want to, but I’m not afraid of the commie cold. The second that restaurants and businesses are allowed to open up I will be there. The beauty of America is that you don’t have to go if you’re scared. But I shouldn’t have my freedoms stripped from me because you choose to be irrational. I’m willing to bet others feel the same way, so vote in the poll at the top.
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