I would have thought by now that guys would know not to send unsolicited, sexually explicit messages to unsuspecting women. I guess not.
Let’s talk about today’s Creepy Casanova, Brendon Laflamme of North Scituate, RI.
Brendon is 25, works for a fencing company, and has a pretty typical Facebook page for a mid-20s, Rhode Island born male. He has a variety of selfies including the bathroom mirror selfie (complete with sunglasses indoors):
The shirtless selfie (with tribal arm tattoo):
And the (stained) white t-shirt selfie:
He also likes to show off his handiwork and show the world how he’s doing with a picture of his truck.
That’s right, big guy, nobody is holding you or your 15 year old Ford Ranger back.
All of this seems pretty normal, right? Well we’re here to talk about what Brendon does in private.
So. Many. Questions.
Seriously, has this ever ACTUALLY worked? I mean, in the history of the internet and text messaging, has any guy ever gotten a positive result from unsolicited sexting or dick pics? Is this a new phenomenon or did we just start hearing about it more in the information age? Were the first men scribbling penis cave drawings in the females’ caves? More importantly, if by some miracle you sent a message like this and the woman responded that she was willing, what kind of foul STDs would be in store for you?
The best part about this is the irony.
Don Juan Dick Stain here isn’t looking for any trashy girls. He wants class up the ass. Which is totally what you’ll get by sending messages like the ones above or posting stuff like this:
At least one of his friends knows what’s up.
He’s done with the sexy low Iifes. It’s nothing but top quality women from now on and he’ll settle for nothing less.
No one is wondering, LaFemme. We all know exactly why you’re single.
Nah, man, there are worse things. Like sending gross messages to random women because you’re bored and lonely. I wonder if Ventura Fence would be cool knowing that this is how you represent them, seeing that their company name is all over your profile.
It would be a damn shame if they somehow found out about this blog post, huh? Of course, I am telling all our readers absolutely not to contact his company and inform them about how their employee conducts himself. That would be wrong.
To all the guys out there, this approach absolutely, positively, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, and I mean never ever, works with the ladies. More likely than not she’s just gonna put you on blast to all her friends or post your messages on social media. And if you’re really unlucky, you might just end up Turtleboy famous, like our big buddy Brendon.
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33 Comment(s)
Must’ve been that useless cunt Bristol who blogged about this. WTF TB, why did you let her? The shit she’s done to her own kids is much worse than what this poor kid did. You guys are fucking bored assholes
Guys, please don’t listen to Turtle Driver. I send unsolicited dick pics all the time and have my pick and choose of hot women from Facebook. Trust me, it works.
You can’t even see what he sent for one. And for two….no. You’re right. No one should call his job.
Someone should call yours for this cancel culture BS.
Lame
Really shouldn’t have posted pictures of his place of employment… the company isn’t going to know this about their employee and its low to bring them into it…
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
This is not a fireable offense and I see no point in anyone contacting this guy’s employer. Is this guy creepy and lame in his approach with woman? Yes. Is he guilty of the failure to get himself laid? Yes. Is he sending dick pics and going over the top harassing woman nonstop bordering criminal behavior that should land him in prision? No. Other than that, this is well written.
Is he a douch? Probably. Should we go after his job and be part of the cancel culture? Fuck no. I hope our riders don’t call his employer. Need to do a better job TD.
Fuk this loser white trash. Hope he lose his job. I should call ha ha
Wait a minute… I dont see a flat brimmed hat, no Newports, no food stamps for sale, no stolen goods for sale, no baby momma drama, etc. The kid is working a job, rather than being on the dole, so hes not doing too badly. He may not have a way with the ladies, yet, but he seems to be legit. On the other hand…if he plays video games or has watched any of the Fast and Furious movies…fry him…/s
I neglected to include that there are no Henny or blunt pics.
Losing a job over this is a bitch way!!! Usually I agree with Tb 98 percent of the time but not this time!!! This is some sucker shit! People do this everyday especially the young ones. The. When shit hits the fan they learn their lesson and never do it again unless they have a sex addiction issue. He didn’t rape anyone or harm anyone. He is only Humiliating himself. . So I guess when you were id age you didn’t do stupid shit and then learned from it and regretted it? Common!!
TB does it once again.
-Is this guy a creep. Yes.
-Does he deserve to be publicly shamed? Debatable.
-Does he deserve to lose his job because dozens of readers call his employers? FUCK NO.
TB has really become an angry, vindictive piece of shit.
The breakdown of his pics was pretty funny, especially the “stained white t”.
But this is one thread of messages to someone he apparently knows (“damn you got sexy”). Now, his approach is a bit aggressive and ripe for failure but not worthy of a blog or calling his job. Seems a bit of “white knighting” going on here by the blogger.
I am curious why there was never any tonight to calling the Capitol Grille In Chestnut Hill and letting them know that Rachael Rollins’ murdering pal Christian White was waiting on tables in that ritzy restaurant but it is implied to ruin some schmuck who texts lines he picked up in Skinemax after dark movies?
Go back and look into Christian White TD, much more content.
PS. Let’s hear from LaFlamme if it ever worked for him!
This great story is a nice distraction but can we get back to the real important stuff like cat cafes and bankrupt bakeries please?
To hell with this 25 year old selfie posting, fence building dooshe nozzle. What sort of 25 year old guy behaves like this??????? Lets get this kid fired.
Turtle Driver, are you a girl or a gay?
I identify as a turnip
Well, you are a very funny turnip.
Fuck yeah let’s get this kid fired and ruin his life cuz he doeszn’t want a trashy girlfriend.
Why isn’t there a story about the Springfield Mayor’s Communication Director? Story has been on Masslive about her arrest at MGM for days.
Forget this guy. We need an expose on Springfield’s Communication Director’s arrest. Masslive wrote about it. Turtleboy can do better.
If he’s into that shit fine, but the judge will make sure he is put in the stocks come spring. 2 days, no bathroom breaks, center of town; rotten fruit will be provided to pelt this creature.
Not TB worthy. I want my 45 seconds back.
Slow reader? Lol
Thanks for the feedback!
Nothing funnier than faggots who post about their shitty manual labor jobs. No one cares about the fence you put up you fucking dildo
So where’s the message he sent her? I read through this blog three times and still didn’t see it, unless it’s in that tiny little 139×300 image that nobody can read.
I can read it just fine. And my phone is old as fuck with a cracked screen
Womenz is ez.
Wait, I thought we hated “cancel culture”?
Really? Trying to get a guy fired for this?
LAME.
Really?? I agree whole heartedly with publicly shaming this creepy puke but trying to get him fired for it……NAH! Don’t start THAT shit. Cancel culture is THE fucking worst!
is that my sister at the end of the dog collar? EEWWWW. Ain’t wrassling her for a wing next Thursday.
Ahahahaha, we have today’s internet winner! Well done