Mainstream Media Fails

Crisco Chris Angel Marries Cheesehog Lesbo Drug Dealer Previously Suspected Of Beheading A Woman’s Dog With Her Scissoring Partner

 

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The South Coast Today has chosen to celebrate the wedding of a lesbian dog murderer and a Crisco Chris Angel. From the article:

Getting married on Valentine’s Day is not unusual, but one couple taking their vows Friday at City Hall also took the opportunity to formally become a family unit — much to a little girl’s delight. David McDonough, 31, and Kelly Hayden, 37, arrived at City Hall about 45 minutes before their scheduled 12:30 p.m. wedding ceremony to be officiated by City Clerk Dennis Farias. Kelly was excited. David was nervous. Bella Rose, age 5, was happy to be twirling and dancing around holding tightly to her doll, Elsa , from the Disney movie “Frozen.”

David and Kelly met at Bristol Community College when “he was walking down the hall in front of me,” Kelly said. And when he turned around, she knew he was the one. And six months later, they were here at City Hall on Valentine’s Day getting married.

“I’ll never forget our anniversary,” David said, trying to shake off his nerves with a little levity.

Lea Rosa, the bride’s maid of honor and best friend for eight years, said she is so happy for Kelly and Bella Rose, who is Lea’s goddaughter.

“Our children play together,” Lea said.

As with most weddings, there’s usually a glitch or two that can make the ceremony nerve-wracking. In this case, it was the bride’s ring.

“We ordered our rings from Ireland,” Kelly said, adding that David’s ring arrived just fine, but not hers.

“Mine arrived at 10:59 this morning,” she said.

When it came time for the wedding ceremony, Bella Rose delightfully tossed tissue-paper rose petals into the air as she made her way from the back of the City Hall meeting room, to the front where Farias was waiting to officiate the event.But it was during their vows that something special happened. David got down on his knee and asked Bella Rose to be his daughter as he put an Elsa ring on her finger.

“Yeah! Yay!” Bella Rose shouted while jumping up and down.

“This is very good,” said Jim Hayden, Kelly’s father. “My granddaughter will have a stable family.”

After the ceremony, Kelly explained their color of choice for the wedding party.mWhite? Nope. Purple and black were the wedding attire.

“We had to stay true to ourselves,” she said.

Now you might be asking yourself, “what the fuck did I just read? What the hell was the point of this story? Two Manson freaks got married and one of them already had a five year old crotch fruit? Are they the first people to ever be in a situation like this? They don’t even mention the fact that she’s a lesbian and just dumped her girlfriend for this shmuck, who might also be gay.

See, if they mentioned that at least it would make an interesting story. But as it it now they’re just writing about random people of no significance who got married at City Hall and got a free South Coast Today photographer out of it.

There’s just one problem though. In 2008 Kelly Hayden was arrested for threatening a woman and suspected of literally beheading the woman’s Goddamn dog as part of a revenge plot over money.

Two women who are suspects in the beheading of a pit bull were arraigned yesterday on charges of threatening the dog’s owner. Rebecca Clancy and Kelly Hayden, who operate a kennel in Mashpee on Cape Cod, were arrested Wednesday after a 22-year-old woman told police they threatened her after she found her dog’s severed head in a tin on her car last week. They pleaded not guilty yesterday to charges of threatening, intimidating a witness and assault related to that incident. Hayden and Clancy, both 24, are suspects in the beheading of the woman’s dog, according to court records. They have not been charged in the dog’s killing.

The dog owner, Dare Paige, told police that Clancy and Hayden were supposed to be watching her dogs — Nitrous and Nala — last week when Nitrous’s severed head turned up on the hood of her car in East Falmouth. She said Clancy had threatened to kill her dogs if she didn’t pay her $15,000 for damage she had caused to Clancy’s Jaguar when she borrowed the car and crashed it in November. 

First Assistant District Attorney Brian Glenny said Clancy and Hayden are charged with attempting to intimidate Paige because she is a witness against them in the investigation into her dog’s death. Glenny said Paige was in a car with a friend earlier this week when Clancy and Hayden, also in a car, blocked her way, then allegedly threatened to kill her.

Police investigated them after receiving complaints from people who said they sent the women money but did not get the puppy they were promised. Mashpee Police Chief Rodney Collins said police are reviewing numerous complaints, but have not brought any charges. Collins said the town does not have any licensing requirements for commercial kennels, but there is a push to pass a bylaw to set up regulations.

So in my opinion it looks like they ran a shady dog kennel that had lots of complaints, one of their friends crashes their car and owes the money, so they chop the dogs head off and send it to her. Everyone knows they did it so to shut the witness up they threaten to kill her.

Perfectly normal.

They could never pin the beheading on her, but they did get her on fraud. Then three years later the gruseome twosome caught caught selling heroin on the Cape:

While conducting surveillance in the Bell Tower Mall parking lot, police observed a Jaguar with two occupants behaving in a manner consistent with narcotics activity, police said. Police identified the women as Kelly Hayden, 29, and Rebecca Clancy, 30, both of East Falmouth. Officer Peter Ginnetty along with off-duty Truro Sargent Craig Danzinger initiated contact with the suspects. SCU members Barnstable Police Officer Scott Wright and Deputy Sheriff Kim Saladino arrived on location to assist.  Saladino located a large amount of narcotics on Clancy and found approximately 20 grams of heroin, approximately 6 grams of cocaine, 50 oxycodone and suboxone pills in the suspects’ possession, police said.

Her mugshot is legendary.

She ended up getting out of that one too after her scissoring partner ate the rap for her:

Charges against Clancy’s girlfriend, Kelly Hayden, 31, were dropped in exchange for Clancy’s guilty plea. Hayden had been charged with conspiracy to violate drug laws and a drug violation in a school zone.

Oh, and in between then they were both charged with robbery:

In November 2010, Clancy and Hayden were charged in connection with a robbery and found guilty of receiving stolen property valued at more than $250. They received probation.

The Boston Herald referred to them as the “notorious Cape Cod couple” in their coverage of that story.

And now here is the South Coast Today celebrating this drug dealing, robbing, shady breeding, possibly dog-beheading notorious ratchet on their front page. This is the same newspaper that smeared me and glorified Jennifer Azadnia a few months back.

I never got invited to do a sit-down interview. They also didn’t do a news story on my wedding. I guess they only like glorifying a certain kind of person over at the South Coast Today.

 

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60 Comment(s)
  • They know
    April 30, 2020 at 6:25 am

    So I know I really shouldn’t be doing this but I’m a little petty. Kelly broke up my relationship with her previous lesbian girlfriend Destini who was MY GIRLFRIEND for five years! I think it’s gross that they even put her face and gave her the time of day to write an article take pictures for something that’s nothing but bullshit anyway This chicks a fraud, who Clearly doesn’t know who or what she is. I feel bad for any person that’s ever been in her way of selfishness and despair. karmas real. And the way that you hurt other people to try and get your own way it’s pathetic and God sees how you work.

  • She’s a fucking loser
    February 25, 2020 at 7:50 pm

    I used to service The Willows in New Bedford, I did their pest control. She was the absolute worst tenant to deal with. Her apartment was always filthy and she wouldn’t let me do my job and then complained that she still had issues. Yeah bitch, you got issues but not the kind I can help you with!

  • Common core math teacher
    February 19, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    Math word problem: these two dikes first get arrested together when they are 24. Kelly gets married to Faggot David in 2020 and she is now 37. That means these two have been licking each other’s pussys for at least 13 years but Kelly little girl Bella is 5. I don’t want to break it to you Rebecca but your GF has been stepping out on you

  • Big Floppy Fat Lesbo
    February 19, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    I would love to kick the fat fuck in her ample haunches. Then throw her in a pen with some feral hogs like herself. Complete pigshit waste of oxygen.

  • Spic Tormentor
    February 19, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Anyone over the age of 12 that dyes their hair has serious mental issues. Like these two LGBQ faggots

  • Well, No Shit
    February 19, 2020 at 12:48 pm

    This is what Matthew Patel has been up to? Who knew?

  • The Best Man
    February 19, 2020 at 11:58 am

    “May they share hair dyes, vote for Bernie, and live gayly ever after!”

  • Jingly Jill's Strap On Store
    February 19, 2020 at 9:52 am

    Seems like I’m missing out on a great business opportunity in Cape Cod.

  • good.
    February 19, 2020 at 9:51 am

    I felt bad until I read it was a pit bull.

    They performed a community service.

    • Dog Lover
      February 19, 2020 at 8:37 pm

      Good? That someone decapitated a dog? I’m conservative as fuck but also had a pitbull for 12 wonderful years. He was the smartest, kindest, most gentle dog I’ve ever had. If someone had done that to my dog… I’d murder them. Good… you should be euthanized.

  • Harvey Weinstein
    February 19, 2020 at 9:34 am

    Hi I’m mayor Pete buttfuck
    I can’t wait to suck my husbands cock in the oval office

  • Lake Flaccid
    February 19, 2020 at 9:31 am

    Whoever said wearing black is slimming ?

  • Mike HERREN
    February 19, 2020 at 9:27 am

    WE NEED A NAME FOR OUR NEW SHOW..He is a BBBAAADDD BOY!..My next Podcast Show will be with Me & My Nephew Drew airing once a week starting WED NIGHT at 6pm…I NEED YOUR HELP NAMING THIS SHOW!!!!..Please put SUGGESTIONS in comment section..If we use your suggestion we will give you a 50$ gift card to MESA 21

  • Jordis
    February 19, 2020 at 9:18 am

    I canceled my subscription to the Sub-Standard Times. Even their fb page was painfully hard to take as serious form of local news. It’s beyond biased, instigating and uninformed crap. How they are still around is beyond me?

  • 75th anniversary of Iwo Jima
    February 19, 2020 at 8:40 am

    If you love your freedom.Remember the Marines who fought for it in the Pacific.

    • Ho Chi Minh
      February 19, 2020 at 5:25 pm

      We love it. I thought america was occupied by Israel for 32 years oh well who cares.

  • New boot goofin'
    February 19, 2020 at 8:28 am

    Is it homophobic when a lesbian calls a gay male a “faggot”. Well I guess the ex could be a man trapped in a women’s body and just be a regular homophobic person. I donna.

  • Dick Scratcher
    February 19, 2020 at 8:06 am

    Limerick of the Day

    A fairy-tale giant cheesehog
    Kissed a prince who turned into a frog
    I was going to say
    That they’re both kind of gay
    But I’m scared that she’ll murder my dog.

    Dick Scratcher, aged 41 and in hiding.

  • Greta Thunberg
    February 19, 2020 at 7:53 am

    I’m beginning to feel slightly used.
    More than Amanda Sawyers Electrolux.
    Less than her wand.

  • Wuhan Schnauzer Cutlets
    February 19, 2020 at 7:41 am

    Did they exchange hog rings?

  • WeRFucked
    February 19, 2020 at 7:31 am

    Go ahead. Tell me Trump is going to fix this problem. Do you realize these two freaks will probably reproduce?
    Grandpa is glad his little grand-baby will be in a stable family relationship? Da Fuq?

    We Are indeed Fucked.

  • Bob Murchison
    February 19, 2020 at 7:27 am

    Whats a clam?

  • Cape Twats
    February 19, 2020 at 4:38 am

    Anyone who claims “their spot” in Yarmouth is an irredeemably fucked up individual.
    Fuck all of Cape Cod. Every square inch of it.
    Good luck with the rape charges, Beulah. Not sure how you caught the charge. Was it Felonious Face Sitting Resulting In Smothering and Transmittal of STD’s or Forced Tongue Punching?
    Maybe Coercion to Scissor?

  • Fuck John Henry
    February 19, 2020 at 3:15 am

    So now we can’t even afford to keep Brock Holt?
    What a “progressive” puke.Probably a Granny Warren
    supporter.Won but maybe its time to sell the team.

  • Flock Of Seagulls
    February 19, 2020 at 1:39 am

    Purple Flock Of Seagulls haircut?Ryan Kyote eat your heart out.

  • Fupasloth champ 17
    February 19, 2020 at 1:25 am

    Melican really let herself go, remember she won fupa sloth of the year.

  • Joe T
    February 19, 2020 at 12:50 am

    Ugly ass freaks! Should have had the wedding at a cemetery. Poor child!!! This is not what a wedding should look like. Only in New Bedford!!!! This is complete trash if all is true.

  • Silencio Dogood
    February 19, 2020 at 12:08 am

    this truly is a gay marriage; a lesbian described “weirdo faggot” and “gay ass clown” in holy matrimony with a Sapphic daddy’s-girl, whose daughter clings to her doll for dear life, hoping its head stays in place. diversity!

  • Liawatha
    February 18, 2020 at 11:27 pm

    Xe are gorgeous! Such a beautiful couple. Good for Xem!

  • Hate Fags
    February 18, 2020 at 10:58 pm

    LESBO DYKE BITCH!

  • 2wEntEe
    February 18, 2020 at 10:13 pm

    Having wedding ceremony at city hall like it’s a church?
    What kind of broke ass white trash bullshit is this?

    That’s just where you get the paperwork before the wedding.

    Losers. I give it 3 months max

  • Dr Ed
    February 18, 2020 at 9:56 pm

    An update on my stay at the clinic
    I still have the DTs from the wild turkey withdrawal and the negroe nurses aid that fucked me up the ass gave me the clap
    On a positive note I’ve stopped shitting and pissing my pants

    Pray for me

  • Fredo Cuomo
    February 18, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    Hi my name is mayor Pete Buttfuck
    I love insulting president trump and taking big sweaty negroe dicks up my ass while my husband beats off watching

    Ahahahs

  • chafe
    February 18, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    Is this the same as the other one from Worcester?

  • JZ
    February 18, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    Two militant man haters…….dressed in their ghetto Sunday best….In court no less. Robbery, drugs, animal cruelty. Winter on the Cape….Animals…..then one jumps ship and marries Agadore Spartacus….are we surprised? Everyone deserves to jump on the label train and reap the benefits of having a disease, a tough life and the freedom of self identification. Soft buzz words to hide behind the fact that theyre complete shit birds, that break the law, and feed off government programs…. Cape Cod in the winter…..the ghetto slug’s getaway…..

  • George McFly
    February 18, 2020 at 8:16 pm

    My density has brought me to you. I’m George. George McFly. I’m your density. I mean, your destiny.

  • Cornelius Stanley
    February 18, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    I would love to pave her driveway.
    I willl charge her by the square inch

    • Stanley Paving Gypsies
      February 18, 2020 at 10:19 pm

      Careful please!

  • Criss Angel
    February 18, 2020 at 7:18 pm

    Tuwtleboy is a weel asshowe fow whiting this awticuh

  • Elton Johns Husband
    February 18, 2020 at 6:54 pm

    He’s a hog sniffer for sure.

    • Liberace WaterMelon Diet
      February 18, 2020 at 7:34 pm

      They always say pneumonia when its aids

    • Giulia
      February 19, 2020 at 3:00 am

      I remember when you and Elton got married… ‘Elton Takes David Up The Aisle’, said the front page of The Sun. That was truly one of the greatest newspaper headlines of all time.

      • Greta Thunberg
        February 19, 2020 at 6:09 am

        How Dare You!

  • SpeakTheTruth
    February 18, 2020 at 6:54 pm

    Destini Williams has an arraignment tomorrow 2/19/20 at Falmouth District Court for RAPE CHARGES. You can all ROT.

    • Destini Williams
      February 18, 2020 at 7:12 pm

      I definitely don’t have rape charges at Falmouth district court. Smh obviously someone is upset. That’s disgusting to Evan write on here. Get tour facts st8! This post isn’t about me! It’s about you. Your name always follows you. Of course when u do it the free way which u want everything in life for free. All I did was tell you u were on here and shouldn’t of involved the child. I have every right to be upset I raised The kid I’m a good person and she’s my child you have forced a stranger into her life. Now you wana threaten me because your mad your on here. I shouldn’t Evan of told u. I didn’t make the post. Somethings r left better unsaid. Smfh. Good luck! This wouldn’t of been on here if you had a normal wedding and did it the way normal ppl get married. It’s it’s for free it’s for me right

      • 2wEntEe
        February 18, 2020 at 9:17 pm

        You’re both low life pieces of shit.

      • Hunter Biden
        February 18, 2020 at 10:25 pm

        Forget about her.I’ve got better Heroin.
        China White baby.Call me!

      • Dr. Proctor
        February 19, 2020 at 1:50 am

        Into asshole since he was seven? I like this guy.

    • TheReal
      February 18, 2020 at 9:11 pm

      For those that choose to believe this nonsense why not be happy for these two?
      Destini Jude Williams is being arraigned tomorrow on sexual assault charges at 9am at Falmouth District Court. Don’t believe me? Call the courthouse tomorrow. It’s public record. I’d deny being a rapist too ‍♂️

  • JimmyBooms
    February 18, 2020 at 6:41 pm

    She gained like 150 lbs in 8 years it looks like. If anyone ever beheaded my dog I would sit in a cell for the rest of my life content with what i had done to deserve the cell but still crying over my dog. She beheaded 1 and ate the other 1 it looks like. She still a Cape Cod 7 tho

  • Ed M Ice Cream Man
    February 18, 2020 at 6:33 pm

    Well in these times we now live this will become a trend and why you ask? Today’s New Green Deal means less plastic and less plastic means Bye Bye plastic dick stick and hello skin flute.And Gramps says it is nice to see the little one to have a stable home OK maybe this is stable in New Bedford but poor little one is doomed .

  • stiff pete
    February 18, 2020 at 6:04 pm

    The blonde hair and black eyeliner instantly made me think of the 80’s version of Ozzy!

  • Daniel Sullivan
    February 18, 2020 at 5:58 pm

    I absolutely love it when shitty people get called out for their bullshit. In this case it’s a two-fer. We get the scumbags in the story and then the losers who wrote the story. Except they’re to stupid to realize that the story they wrote is based on lies. Imagine being such a shitty journalist that you can’t even do the slightest background on the people you’re writing a story about. Imagine looking at those people getting married and saying to yourself sure I’ll believe what they are telling me and not doing the tiniest bit of research. Fuck it must hard to be a real journalist. Keep up the great work turtleboy. You have my word if I ever win the lottery I’m going to give you a shit ton of money to make turtleboy worldwide!!!! Of course in order to win the lottery I’d have to play it and I don’t so sorry man. My intentions are good though lol

  • I am Asian man
    February 18, 2020 at 5:57 pm

    CHEESHOG!!! Changing cheeshog decide to like man now hmmm change is good yes? Oh sissy man look like Chris Angel billboard I see in Las Vegas but add a little crack so great :)!

  • Kosh Naranek
    February 18, 2020 at 5:47 pm

    That poor child does not stand a chance.

  • Ring Ding Connoisseur
    February 18, 2020 at 5:46 pm

    Wow. Going from a single to a quadruple chin in 8 short years.
    What does she eat all day ?

    • A
      February 18, 2020 at 5:59 pm

      Pussy, up until 3 months ago. Can’t you read?!

      • Johnny BallBag
        February 18, 2020 at 7:30 pm

        Dumbfuck. What is it about doublechins dont you understand. I realize you like balls banging on your cocksucking chin

      • You Illiterate Fuck
        February 18, 2020 at 7:31 pm

        What cocksucker?
        Perhaps you should reread my question in context to the story and pictures.

      • Joe Six Pack Is Non Compus Mensus
        February 18, 2020 at 7:38 pm

        Illiterate fuck please point out where in the article it speaks about her fat gain

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