Detective Pumpkin Spice Spots Organized Sex Trafficking Organization At Whiskey On Water Bar With Disguises And Bullpen Of Kidnappers In Case Their Cover Is Blown

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Watch out fam – the human traffickers are no longer just at Walmart and Stop n Shop. They’ve moved onto Water Street bars in Worcester now…..

Wow, this shit is scary fam. This is why you need to be using the buddy system when you go out to the bars. Because you never know when you’re gonna run into a human trafficking organization with its own bullpen. Let’s review.

So I went to Whiskey on Water in Worcester last night with my friends and I noticed this woman was by herself trying to invade other girls dance circles… when she came up to us, we obviously shrugged a shoulder at her and kept going on with our night. she didn’t say a word to us, she just smiled and walked away. but she kept repeating this over and over- never saying a word to anybody and kept trying to dance with ONLY girls. she waved across the room a few times to act like she was saying hi to people when in reality she was completely alone… or so I thought. after observing her for 30 minutes, I noticed her being watched by 2 men in the room (acting like body guards for her, but also didn’t act like they knew each other).

Stop right there! A woman dancing in a bar? Something is DEFINITELY up with that. Especially because two guys were looking at her from across the bar. That almost never happens when alcohol, dancing, and a derriere door bell like this are mixed.

I noticed she was having no luck getting girls attention, so she decided to “leave with a guy”… well not even 10 minutes later, that same man and woman “returned” with a different appearance. I literally couldn’t stop watching them all night and I finally realized that everything they were doing was an act they were putting on. it was so clear that these people had different roles on how to get girls attention using this woman. Side note: DIFFERENT BODY GUARDS APPEARED because they knew I was keeping my eye on them trying to figure out why they were just standing there watching this girl all night (they obviously didn’t want me to think anything of the previous men who were originally watching her). 

Holy. Fucking. Shit. The human sex traffickers are evolving. They now come with changes of clothing in case their covers are blown. Unfortunately for them they weren’t counting on Detective Pumpkin Spice and her impeccable skills of people watching.

One of the men that was involved even grabbed my arm and tried dancing with me to distract me from the situation because he could clearly tell I was paying attention to this woman. after that, we ended up leaving the bar and double checked to make sure we weren’t followed home.

Thank God she made it out alive. Sadly, because she failed to warn anyone else there were likely at least 3-4 women who weren’t so lucky, and are now being held in a rape van parked at Bell Pond, just waiting to be sold on the dark web to the highest bidder in the McGovern Crime Family. Thoughts and prayers.

long story short, I don’t know exactly what I witnessed last night

Doesn’t matter if you know what you witnessed. You should ALWAYS assume strangers you see in a bar are human traffickers, and then make sure you post to Facebook anyway, and encourage people to share it as much as possible. Oh, and wait until about 9 PM the next day, as opposed to earlier in the morning, since it’s so urgent. After sleeping till 11 you definitely wanna put on your walk of shame sweatpants and Ugg boots, and head on down to Panera Bread to meet up with the girls and talk about who gave in and drunk texted their ex last night.

And I strongly felt the need to share this. my gut tells me it was a human trafficking scam (especially since I’ve been seeing a few posts about the Auburn/ Millbury area). this is just a lesson to be careful of your surroundings. you can never be too observant and don’t assume that you’re crazy!

So brave. Always go with your gut instincts, as opposed to logic and reason. Those things are wicked gay and just hold you back. Plus, she saw other members of the Pumpkin Spice Mafia posting their unconfirmed anecdotes about sex traffickers on Facebook at the Auburn Mall so it’s just gotta be true. Whatever you do, DO NOT assume that you’re crazy for thinking that a complex set of human traffickers with multiple disguises set up shop in a random bar in Worcester on a Saturday night. Because that’s totally NOT crazy!! After all, Detective Pumpkin Spice does have a degree in psych from Bridgewater State.

I think she knows what she’s doing guys. Plus, she’s a cheerleader for Worcester’s arena football team, and once tried out to be a Patriots cheerleader too.

Cheerleaders are always one step ahead of the rest of us.

Thankfully none of her friends doubted her story, because why would they?

Skepticism is rape culture.

And there were other close calls…..

Has anyone checked up on this friend? Did she make it out alive? Or is she being drugged and gagged in preparation for Joe Early’s victory party?

She did the right thing by NOT speaking to the bouncers, because they were likely in on it. Luckily the Worcester Police have been notified and are treating this as a top priority.

Good point Chris. The WPD special forces unit is no doubt strategizing the extravagant sting they’ll be putting in place to catch these human traffickers in the act next weekend. That is if they haven’t moved onto the Blarney Stone by then. Where would she be without Keystone Chris’ elder words of wisdom?

Want more proof this is real? Another member of the Pumpkin Spice Mafia had her car broken into!!

That’s literally never happened in Worcester. No one has ever left their car unlocked and had a vagrant rifle through it looking for $5 to get those new testers from Diego the neighborhood crack dealer.

So proud of you girl!!

Everyone, please, for the love of God – TAG AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU KNOW IN THIS POST!!!! And don’t you DARE think about making jokes about this very, very serious and factual story.

Anyway, Clarence Woods Emerson obviously thought this was real so he shared it on Facebook and commented on her page, offering her thoughts and prayers. Unfortunately it led to him getting blocked after a platoon of turtle riders invaded, armed with emojis.

Since then the post has apparently been removed. But since it definitely happened we felt the need to share it anyway. Because Detective Pumpkin Spice should be thanks, praised, and rewarded for her courage and bravery. Please let us know where the GoFundMe is to donate to the anti-human trafficking bullpen cause.

35 Comment(s)
  • Muffy and the Fag Hags
    November 14, 2018 at 2:02 pm

    You better listen to Owen! He gets more liberal dick than the rest of the cheerleading squad combined!

    • Shane the Barista with the Hello Kitty tattoo
      November 14, 2018 at 3:23 pm

      Hey, just because we’re still experimenting doesn’t mean we’re gay! We just haven’t decided yet. I’m only 35 and death is a while from now.

      • Tyler the Field Hockey Player
        November 14, 2018 at 3:28 pm

        You’re soooo butch! Where do you hang out, you little box of cutesicles?

        • Glen the Socialist Art School Dropout
          November 14, 2018 at 3:33 pm

          Back off honey, that diva is a cheerleader. Way out of your league. Rah rah sis boom bend over!

  • Owen
    November 14, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    I was a cheerleader for 14 years and now I am a theoretical astrophysics. Playing a sport that keeps you fit has no correlation to ones intelligence level.

    Cheer-leading is a sport that is based off the premise of community an support . Which clearly you have lacked in your life to lash out on strangers on a public forum like this. Doing a sport that is stereotyped as being for ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant’ women , has NO CONNECTION TO THAT ACTUAL HUMAN PART-TAKING IN THAT SPORT! Just because she is a cheerleader doesn’t make her opinions false and your opinions true. Also, I played a variety of sports in my life to see which was the most intensive work out for me. Cheer-leading easily took the cake. I had a 8 pack in no time and was more fit than any player on the football team so you can suck my dick.

    • XXX
      November 14, 2018 at 12:21 pm

      Well, slap my cunt and call me Owen, I was right. You are a little girl. I should go play the lottery. I’ll pick you up some Tampax while I’m there, heshe.

    • Honkey Kong
      November 14, 2018 at 12:53 pm

      Let’s take a little break from the polemics to analyze this post.

      “I was a cheerleader for 14 years and now I am a theoretical astrophysics.”

      Chuckle. Yeah, it was a good thing we got a hold of Albert Einstein before he was forced to cheer for the Nazis. We’d all be goosestepping now. So what’s it like to be a branch of science yourself? Do you get self-conscious when people study you?

      “Playing a sport that keeps you fit has no correlation to ones intelligence level.”

      Yeah, but why bother wasting time in school when you can be a physicist from doing splits and shaking tits?

      “Cheer-leading is a sport that is based off the premise of community an support . Which clearly you have lacked in your life to lash out on strangers on a public forum like this. Doing a sport that is stereotyped as being for ‘stupid’ and ‘ignorant’ women , has NO CONNECTION TO THAT ACTUAL HUMAN PART-TAKING IN THAT SPORT!”

      Right. Everyone copies their physics exam answers off the cheerleaders. Like you.

      “Just because she is a cheerleader doesn’t make her opinions false and your opinions true.”

      The inverse applies.

      “Also, I played a variety of sports in my life to see which was the most intensive work out for me. Cheer-leading easily took the cake. I had a 8 pack in no time and was more fit than any player on the football team…”

      How do you know? Did they pass you around?

      “…so you can suck my dick.”

      **record scratch**

      Wait… you’re a guy?

      Sorry, Nancy. Where we’re from, cheerleaders do all the sucking, except for the occasional goth freaks who like anal. But they all have two “X” chromosomes. Get back to the liberal freak farm.

      • Owen
        November 14, 2018 at 1:20 pm

        Woah, my life has been changed thank you honkey kong!
        I have no more time to have an uplifting conversation with you anymore because I have to study for a my quantum mechanics exam. Thank you for the love and support<3 🙂

        • Honkey Kong
          November 14, 2018 at 1:47 pm


          Translation: He’s going to get drunk on cosmopolitans at a gay bar and then he’s going to get arrested for soliciting blowjobs at a Greyhound station.

          • Owen
            November 14, 2018 at 2:09 pm

            wow you really don’t have anything better to do? this is saddening
            I wish you the best in life, with your terrible attitude

  • Munchkin
    November 13, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    Please do a story about Whiskey on Water and the drugs there. Too many college kids have been roofied there, and I suspect it’s the bartenders. They’re tipping off the cops on which bars to raid (probably because the cops are likely on their payroll) and have never gotten even randomly raided by the police. Suspicious. Sounds like a stretch, but do some digging – I bet you’ll find something.

    • Grace J
      November 14, 2018 at 1:25 am

      I actually cannot believe what I’m reading and in fact would LOVE to use the #pumkinspice mafia to investigate how small your uncircumcised dick is turtle boy. Maybe you’re playing down sex trafficking because that’s the only way you can get your dick wet??? HmmM. I can’t possibly see how you make a living off of the site we all thought got taken down years ago, but if you are why dont you invest some of that gutter money in a college education which you so clearly lack.

      SO on that note let me address a few things. First, I’m pretty sure Miranda wrote about Whiskey on Water, not about herself in a bikini. I would question why you’re so familiar with these pictures and not a popular bar…but who needs bars when your weekends are spent jacking off in your one bedroom apartment overlooking the Massachusetts Turnpike. Second, how fucking DARE you post any information about her personal life. You creating this post is 100% different than her sharing anything on Facebook, if you want to argue my personal email is attached to this message, try me.

      It’s funny how this whole website is meant to be some sort of “news” page…yet I see little evidence of you even having the ability to read never mind formulate well thought out ideas or for fucks sake keep up with the world news!!!!!!! All this article is comprised of is YOU, small dicked turtle boy, trying to debunk a woman’s claims on the premise that she is attractive?? UmmmM what?. Yeah confident competent men don’t do that in 2018. I’m sure you love all the attention this website brings you, but this is not the kind of attention to impress others with or use to validate you own importance (or clear lack thereof).

      In utter disgust to share the Worcester community with you.

      • JJ@AOL.COM
        November 14, 2018 at 9:47 am

        The only sex trafficking ring that is around, are the rings that get tossed on to the dildo shoved in your ass! Facks yo. You are a brain washed basic bitch & I hope you spill your pumpkin spice latte all over your leggings and uggs you little fucking nitt witt.

        P.s. your friend looks like one of those ugly little pocket dogs. We shall call her betris

        • Owen
          November 14, 2018 at 12:02 pm

          The social problems seen in our society manifest through the stupidity and ignorance of people like you. You claim this women who stands up for another women is brain washed and then proceed to associate her with a stereotype that you fucking see on reddit. OH WOW YOU ARE SO RIGHT, YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS. Hey guys maybe we really should all listen to this guy, a person who only feels comfort in attacking beautiful women on the internet. Cause that is a sign of a true leader with their own opinions! Maybe one day we can all be just like you, A fucking hypocrite.

          The reason why our society can’t ever progress is because of fucking CUNTS like you and turtle boy flood the internet. You should really consider actually talking to real human beings and not living your life through commenting hate on several websites just to fucking fuel your ego, and maybe one day you will get your dick wet!

          P.s. you should also go to the eye doctor because I think you need an eye exam.

          • XXX
            November 14, 2018 at 12:17 pm

            You sound like a little girl. You bitched and went into the same histrionics as your scared shitless of invisible shit basic Becky girl scout troop. Shut your fucking hole and stuff a tampon in your snatch.

  • CE
    November 12, 2018 at 7:48 pm

    File this one away to the spank bank

    • Owen
      November 14, 2018 at 1:12 pm

      oh wow so insightful thank you! making the world a better place comment by comment<3 much love

      • Pimp Hand
        November 14, 2018 at 1:19 pm

        Hey Nancy, let the men talk. Go make some sandwiches.

  • True Reality Speaks
    Score - 10.0
    November 12, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    MVTB has set the new standard for blogging on the Pumpkin Spice Sex Ring. No longer will similar blogs be allowed without the subject being a smoke show, and you must have funny references to trafficking the girls to the McGovern & Joe Early crime syndicates.

  • Akihito
    November 12, 2018 at 3:44 pm

    This shit is happens! My friend’s sister’s bff’s cousin’s boyfriend’s aunt’s neighbor’s sister in law was abducted like this. Be careful out there!

    • JJ@AOL.COM
      November 14, 2018 at 9:55 am

      Fuckin hell. That’s like when I herd from a guy, who knows a guy named guy, and guy told this guy that, that guys friend knows a guy and that guy said, some guy told him about a guy, who knows this other guy and he was speaking too this other guy named guy. That guy, guy told another guy that he was told from a guy, that knows this other guy who that guy was told by some guy. that this is all true and we should believe everything that is posted on the internet by chicks, you have to believe.

      Man something in pumpkin spice must be frying these peoples brains.

  • MattyIce
    November 12, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    If the human traffickers do get a hold of her I will pay top dollar. I like her a lot!

  • Me Too
    November 12, 2018 at 11:33 am

    Like many others I’ve read these recent sex trafficking stories with both horror and bemusement. Then it happened to me! I was shopping on Cape at Roche brothers for my wife. While surfing the vegatble section an attractive woman (for 75) saddled up to me and asked if I knew where they ” hid the zucchini” which everyone knows is a reference to vaginal penetration. Taken aback I mumbled, “the same place they hide the salami”. Then a store worker ambled by and asked if we found everything we needed. They shared a wry smile, the store was in on a sexual cult too! Thinking I may have read too much into an inocent exchange I went to the express checkout line. There behold was some asshole with 17 items in the 12 items or less line! Guys need to be careful too….

  • Fred Knessl
    November 12, 2018 at 8:19 am

    Couple of thoughts here…
    1. Why go to the Police at all? Police and ICE need to be dis-banded ASAP
    2. She’s a GIRL and THEY DON’T LIE! EVER!!!!
    So glad I’m old and will miss what these fine folks are doing to the USA

  • Drylaw
    November 12, 2018 at 7:36 am

    Some years ago a former FBI profiler wrote a book called “The Gift of Fear” and it was all about trusting your gut instincts to keep you out of trouble. I’m all for that but I have a problem with this young lady’s post. She’s obviously some sort of SJW and this mass hysteria about human trafficking rings, abductions and killer clowns from outer space is the end result of being a millennial. Yup, a millennial. The generation raised to learn to ride a bike on grass so they don’t skin their knees and wearing a helmet of course! The generation filled with helicopter parents who want to “help” their kids advance in their careers by taking them to job interviews and trying to talk to their bosses. The generation that can’t write a sentence in the King’s English (let alone speak without using words like dude, bro and boi). The same generation that sadly cannot have a pleasant conversation with you unless they are “texting” and using emojis and memes because they are too stupid to have an original thought in their tiny brains. It is no wonder they see evil wherever they go. After all, this is a world filled with the horrors of Donald Trump, white men and people that grew up before the cell phone that can sniff the BS out faster than they can text and don’t need safe spaces. Where’s Trigglypuff and Javier from Hampshire College to be her trusted lieutenants to save us all………………

    • Stunt Penis
      November 12, 2018 at 9:09 am

      …and don’t forget… they can’t write in cursive, either.

      • Not all millennial are bitches
        November 13, 2018 at 6:13 am

        Not to get far off topic, but I’m 31 and considered a millennial. I learned how to write cursive in public school. I ride the shit of dirt bikes, I always fix my own car. I graduated a vocational high school, and now have been a commercial framers dnd now a residential framer for the last 14 years or so. I got my first job (paper route at 12) very young and haven’t stopped since. Ohh not to mention I got caught up in opioids, AND got myself out without rehabs and mass health bullshit. I know I sound like I’m just patting myself on the back here in an internet comment. Maybe I just read it, and maybe now you know not all millennials are bitches. In fact, come find me old men, I’m sure there are plenty of “old man” stereotypes you guys can fulfill.

        • Spike The Football
          November 14, 2018 at 12:09 pm

          Nice. You can drop the mic after that one.

  • Clitty Litter
    November 12, 2018 at 6:25 am

    2/3 in the photo will have implants soon as a career investment.

  • Bill Clinton
    November 12, 2018 at 6:12 am

    I’d fuck the stupid out of her.

    • Stunt Penis
      November 12, 2018 at 9:10 am

      That’d be a lotta fuckin, Bill

  • I See Dumb People
    I see dumb people
    November 12, 2018 at 5:57 am

    Oh NO I must of really caused a rucus at that bar last weekend jeez .. I was only looking for a hottie to bring home for a night of amazing 3 way action and now the pumpkin spice mafia thinks im a human trafficker … Looks like I need to change my approach hahaha

  • Spit My pumpkin Spice Latte Out
    November 12, 2018 at 3:00 am

    This is fucking hysterical she was obviously on mushrooms when she wrote it… so you can’t blame her.. she had to have been fucking WHITE girl wasted to think this was even remotely possible. Idiots… idiots everywhere. 

  • Julius Geezer
    November 12, 2018 at 1:12 am

    She’s too annoyingly cutesy for me. I’d deal with it if she came with a mute button.

  • CrispyC
    November 11, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    This girl is straight up hot. HOT! Given all the problems we have with the SJWs, Democrats, and the trannies in denial of their born chromosomes, I can let a hottie looking for a little facebook attention a mulligan.

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