Lame duck City Councilor Tricky Dicky Rushton fancies himself a lawyer by day and a councilor by night. The problem is he’s not very good at either. And as you know by now, he mainly serves on the council for our humor, as his alliance with the hippies, anti-police, anti-transparency rhetoric, and world famous bumbling has made it impossible for him to get reelected:
We already knew he was really bad at being an elected official, but we didn’t realize how bad he was at his day job until we saw his bold prediction about what would happen with Tom Brady in federal court:
Hey genius, Judge Berman was trying to force an agreement because he didn’t wanna waste his time with such a dumb case about something that has never had and never will have an effect on the outcome of a football game. No procedural flaw? Ummmm the entire thing was one gigantic procedural flaw. The balls were tested with improper gauges. The Colts balls weren’t all tested. Roger Goodell appointed himself the “independent arbiter.” There literally hasn’t been a single part of the procedure that wasn’t flawed.
Here’s my question – who would EVER hire this guy as a lawyer? I mean, if you’re in trouble the first thing he’s gonna urge you to do is throw up the white flag. “We can’t win. Better just bend over and take it. And don’t forget to make the check out to Dicky!!!”
And what the hell is he talking about with Ruben Carter? I’ve seen that movie a few times. Ruben Carter got out of jail because his pen pal and his do-gooder foster parents cracked the case on their own. Does Dicky just make EVERYTHING up as he goes along? The man just cannot stop talking. Doesn’t matter if what he says are the incoherent ravings of a madman. He’s gonna say the first thing that enters his brain regardless.
Dicky couldn’t win reelection because we’ve basically exposed him to the masses, which is the reason he’s not running again. So we’ve got an opportunity to fill his empty seat with a real person with a real brain. That man is Rob Sargent, a young Burncoat High School teacher who supports the police instead of the hippies. Rob needs your support at the preliminary election on Tuesday. You know who Rob Sargent thought was gonna win this lawsuit? Brady. Let’s put someone on the council who supports teachers, police, and Tom Brady, instead of this Patriot hating hippie enabler.