Nudniks

Douchebag Owner Of British Beer Company Is Refusing To Pay His Employees For Work They’ve Already Done And Is Blaming The Government For Not Bailing Him Out

 

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Meet Gary Simon, the owner of the chain restaurant British Beer Company.

One of these places was opened up in Worcester a few years back and lasted as long as virgin with a Tijuana hooker. Then a couple months ago he sold the Portsmouth, NH location so he should have plenty of cash on hand to help his employees weather the storm, right?

Wrong.

According to an email he sent out to the GMs of the remaining locations, he can’t come up with the cash for payroll for his employees and he’s blaming Washington DC.

“Remember you are only one of many millions of people that they’re dealing with.”

Oh, fuck off Gary. Is that supposed to make people feel better?

One of the managers sent him an email telling him that his employees are rightfully gonna pursue legal avenues if they’re not paid money for work they’ve already done.

But he’s still whining that Donald Trump hasn’t sent him a check yet.

Bitch, you just sold your Portsmouth location. You own a bunch of other locations and according to the Barnstable County Registry of Deeds you own all this too.

Plus, you OWE them that money. Is he honestly saying that their weekly paychecks were conditional upon him being able to sell bangers and mash? Most of these people work off tips anyway. Basically what he’s saying here is that BBC operates paycheck to paycheck as well. They have no cash on hand but somehow own nearly a dozen restaurants.

Oh, and he was whining about the commie cold and its effects to the Cape Cod Times:

St. Patrick’s Day is also a typically busy time at the British Beer Company, which has 10 locations, including Falmouth Heights, Hyannis and Sandwich. The restaurants will begin to offer a limited takeout menu and delivery starting Tuesday and will operate daily, except Mondays, from 4 to 8 p.m., with family-style corned beef and cabbage dinners available for the holiday.

“We are going to do what we need to do to stay open,” founder and owner Gary Simon said. “We have been open for 23 years, and this is probably the biggest challenge, but we’ve seen other hardships. We have a great following and employees and hope to keep the staff working and serving our loyal guests.”

Although some employees will likely need to seek unemployment assistance, he hopes the new delivery service will help provide income for some staff members.

“We are in uncharted waters,” Simon said. “Every day will be a learning experience.”

Yea, he has a great following and employees. Just not great enough to pay them apparently.

 

 

 

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83 Comment(s)
  • Bartender
    March 27, 2020 at 12:15 pm

    *Douchebag TB “reporter” and disgruntled employee cause boycott, hurting hundreds of workers waiting to go back to work without having all the facts straight.
    There’s the more appropriate headline.

  • Richyrich
    March 27, 2020 at 6:45 am

    Guaranteed he has plenty of $ socked away that he is hiding. He will wind up getting a court order to pay or face prosecution, and will be forced to dust off the wallet. POS.

  • abc123
    March 25, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    i worked at a credit union and saw countless payroll checks bounce week after week. accounts do not need to have money in them to make a check

  • Big Pauli
    March 25, 2020 at 1:03 am

    Fuck You,pay Me.

  • Eva lina
    March 25, 2020 at 12:09 am

    How to get your ex lover back contact Ededetemple @ gmail. com

  • Silencio Dogood
    March 24, 2020 at 11:51 pm

    The time to buy is when there is Covid in the streets, and Simon may have bought too many properties to have spare change on hand, with each shekel going towards his retirement and every widow’s mite for a much-needed vacation away from the drama. For the Goy, let them eat urinal cake.

  • Adam
    March 24, 2020 at 11:29 pm

    This guy is a scumbag. he’s owned the business for 23 years and lives in DUXBURY. this guy is loaded and has a shit ton of cash. he’s being a cheap ass and doesn’t want to pay his employees. i hope they all find a way to sue him and they get what they deserve.

  • The Boondock Saint
    March 24, 2020 at 10:55 pm

    These places are all still open for kitchen orders though yeah? The waitstaff is laid off but there are still a few people taking pick-up orders?

    Fuck this douchebag. Please Please Please suggest in a follow up piece, that anyone laid off gets food from the BBC for free. I know it’s not the healthiest way to go right now… but a couple pizzas could really help someone who’s waiting for that last check.

    As long as someone is in that building cooking, these people should not have to worry about getting some grub for their families. I would love to see this money hungry fucktard watch his kitchen costs skyrocket while not getting any business from locals after they read this story.

    Help the BBC become a soup kitchen for it’s laid off employees.

  • Andrea Grocer
    March 24, 2020 at 10:28 pm

    I will shit in the parking lot of every single one of his restaurants.

  • Why make billions?
    March 24, 2020 at 10:12 pm

    Gary, pay your employees and stop being a scumbag!

  • Cheerio and Tut Tut old chap
    March 24, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    His beer is the perfect enema, and it puckers your anus up just right

  • ANGRY GIANT
    March 24, 2020 at 9:49 pm

    There are some news stories that says that Simon has a “silent partner”. What do you think, a guy who models himself after “Tony Soprano”?

    Remember in “GoodFellas” when the “silent partner” got involved with the restaurant? Oh man, I hope Simon plays this carefully!

  • Paul Cicero
    March 24, 2020 at 9:21 pm

    Gay motorcycle with a sidecar, made in India. Wouldn’t feel bad if I t-boned this dope in an intersection. I’m surprised the workers haven’t paid him a visit. Give him the Bamboo Lounge treatment. The place sucks anyways. He has those famous English teeth, somebody should knock them out. How dare this pussy has a poster of Ric Flair in his establishment.

  • BBC Sucks!!!
    March 24, 2020 at 8:48 pm

    I have eaten at a few of his restaurants and came to the conclusion the only consistancy is the chains food absoloutly sucks balls. Never tried the site in Worcester because it was a waste of money just to experiance the same bad food. Not shocked its going under. Too bad he has to screw some employees on the way down, but frankly the BBC is no great loss.

    • Richyrich
      March 27, 2020 at 6:54 am

      Yup. Ate at the Portsmouth location once. Food was bad. Right across the street was a legit English pub where the food and beer was 100% better.

  • This asshole had it coming..
    March 24, 2020 at 8:39 pm

    This scumbag had it coming, I know many people that he’s screwed over. True shyster! Hopefully there’s a part two to this story!!!

  • ANGRY GIANT
    March 24, 2020 at 8:15 pm

    Employees are first in line when a business is liquidated. They will get their money, but it might take a while.

    It’s a shame, I liked BBC. I can’t see myself going there again unless the man pays the hired help, including even the Irish ones.

  • Who Flung Cum
    March 24, 2020 at 7:15 pm

    2 things you don’t fuck around with for a man:

    His women & his money.

    Ps: Opens a restaurant with initials BBC = does anal.

  • Fuck you
    March 24, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    I assume his employees make the 12 dollar an hour minimum wage. What would really be fucked about this story is if his employees make the 2.63 an hour wage that most waiting jobs provide. Either way hes a peice of shit and I hope that Juan on the fry line kicks his teeth in.

    That fucking idiot above rambling on about plenty of jobs people are lazy nonsense. I hope you get let go from your job and they dont pay you. If you own a business I hope people find out who you are and stop doing business with you. You’re probably the peice of shit who wrote the email

  • Your uncle jew
    March 24, 2020 at 5:32 pm

    Someone calm the Jew down here, WeRFucked not everyone is an eternal victim Jew card player. Relax don’t be such a kike.

  • Mr. Simon sucks
    March 24, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Such a scumbag. Owning almost a dozen restaurants is not a “small business” I work for a small business that has been open for less than 2 years. The owners are struggling but all the employees received the pay they worked for and they’re helping the rest get on unemployment as fast as possible. They also said lunch/dinner is on them if they’re struggling while waiting for their unemployment to come in. It is just them and me working now, 6 days a week from noon til 8:30pm doing takeout and delivery. We are also on Cape about 20 minutes from their Hyannis location. I have no doubt he could easily pay his employees for the hours they put in but is choosing not to because why would he when he can get away with it? Plus have the government eventually bail him out too ! He also pretty clearly tells his employees not to pay their bills as those companies can’t do anything about it at this time anyhow. Apparently he is forgetting these people need to eat, get prescriptions, gas and many other things that money is needed for at the time of purchase. At least those of us on Cape year round now know which place to avoid eating or working at. Tourist season may be able to keep him afloat for a few months but if the locals find out that the owner is a piece of shit who has no shame in treating his employees like shit, it’s not going to stay very busy after labor day.

    • Inthearmpitofthecape
      March 24, 2020 at 8:09 pm

      where is the restaurant you work at? I wanna give y’all my money!!!!

  • Gtr
    March 24, 2020 at 4:28 pm

    The anchor in Beverly is open they are just acting like nothing is going on … scumbags

    • Downtown
      March 24, 2020 at 4:46 pm

      Everybody in the Anchor is deal already. That is why they are in the Anchor.

  • Spic Tormentor
    March 24, 2020 at 4:11 pm

    I went to one of these restaurants once. The nachos were garbage and it was full of faggots.

    • Chink Harasser
      March 24, 2020 at 4:53 pm

      Does ANYONE do good nachos anymore?????

      • Spic Tormentor
        March 24, 2020 at 5:21 pm

        Guy Fieri and his trash can nachos obviously.

  • WeRFucked
    March 24, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    He’s probably in debt over his head, by miles. He was definitely operating that business day-to-day. His plans to meet this Friday’s payroll (last weeks work) was to fund it with the sales from this current week. I’ll bet you he planned on the March 17th windfall from all his locations too, to pay all his 90 day overdue invoices from suppliers.

    Don’t give me this “running a restaurant is tough” bullshit. He’s a failure at business if he doesn’t have the money to pay his workers salaries. Now Mr. big fancy restaurant man wants the government to help him.

    Fuck off Simon. Sell your timeshares. (loser alert… timeshare owner!) Sell your big fancy house and fancy cars. Based on your net worth, you should be driving a 2005 Honda Civic and living in section-8 housing. You are a failure.

  • English people and their teeth
    March 24, 2020 at 3:46 pm

    Wait till things settle down then go to his restaurant and slip and fall,keep his ass broke in the courts

  • Hot Take
    March 24, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    How about this: get another job. There are tons of jobs at CVS, Walmart, and all these places DESPERATE for people. Stop bitching at this small business owner and just move on. Shit happens. These people want a social welfare, want to sit on their asses and demand demand demand, but not do anything for their fucking money.
    Yeah, they worked and got stiffed. Big fucking deal, put your big boy pants on and move on. Now you know, don’t work for shady ass bosses. Jesus Christ, when are we going to let people take responsibility for their TERRIBLE choices?
    Plus how do we know how much “work” these people actually did? People love to talk a big game about restaurant businesses, but come on, looking pretty and flirting with customers to get a big tip isn’t really “work” is it? If so, may I direct you to Center Stage in Springfield?
    This is what’s wrong with America. No one wants to admit their mistake, buckle up and move on to better things.
    “Oh he didn’t pay me. Oh he was an asshole. Oh he was racist. That’s why I can’t make rent this month.”
    No bitch, you can’t make rent this month because you’re lazy and overpriviledged.
    Start your own business, simple as that.
    All you guys coddling her and all these employees: get fucking laid please.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:03 pm

      And the stupidest comment of the day goes to:

      Hot Take.

      Because he’s an asshole who just walks away when he doesn’t get paid what he deserves and says “oh well.”

    • Yo mama
      March 24, 2020 at 11:02 pm

      Hey MGFOOL shut the fuck up you rambling tool

  • Seltzer
    March 24, 2020 at 3:32 pm

    This guy is a fucking piece of shit so when he does open the place Im gonna there once or twice I’m gonna get some little stink bombs from Little Jack Horner’s The one’s in the glass you put it under a chair Soon as somebody sits on it the glass breaks and trust me it’s fucking over powering. He’s a fucking piece of shit

    • Dianna
      March 24, 2020 at 3:37 pm

      Good enough. He ripped off Mark Gallup. Karma

  • Act British, Think Yiddish
    March 24, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    Fuck this guy, write some personal checks, you douche. I HAVE owned and run a bar/restaurant . Granted it was only a single operation and not a chain, but no matter what, you pay your fucking employees. You pay your people, period. Plus, eating English food is supposed to be punishment. Who the fuck would ever voluntarily eat “toad in the hole, spotted dick or bubble and squeak” ?? At least this guy is fucking over his employees, which is a genuine British business practice.and gives the place some authenticity.

  • Admiral Nelson
    March 24, 2020 at 3:11 pm

    Let the French have him.

  • dumb ass
    March 24, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    baited breath, what a dumb ass.

    • Wastrel
      March 24, 2020 at 5:55 pm

      Hey Dumbass, it’s BATED breath, dumbass.

  • Captain Trips
    March 24, 2020 at 2:47 pm

    Sell your fucking motorcycle with the side car for starters to help out.

    You fooking wanker! I’d like to hear from Dick Scratcher about this sod making the Brits look bad!

  • Dr. Nofucks to Give
    March 24, 2020 at 2:39 pm

    This is no small business, above all else, you pay your people for the hours they work, then close for the duration of the crisis. If they did the work, they gotta get paid. Bitch at TB all you want, ( Prob Bristol) but regardless. Pay up. A responsible business owner takes care of his people

  • Wacko
    March 24, 2020 at 2:36 pm

    Something tells me that he has enough liquid assets to pay those employees for a year if he had to but has chosen to run for cover instead. Sure, he may not be breaking any laws by refusing to pay them for wages not actually worked, but there is a heartless, scum bag, creep component here that he apparently isn’t sweating none too much. On top of it all, his restaurant was probably barely hanging on for dear life before the virus shutdown even started, so the way I bet he sees it, why hand money to people who are going down on a sinking ship?

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:05 pm

      No fucking way. This guy is as broke as Trump I bet.

  • Rich ppl problems
    March 24, 2020 at 2:32 pm

    To everyone defending small business owners… owning a CHAIN of restaurants does not lump you in the same category as the old lady selling handmade dog clothes on main st. Just saying…

  • whatevuh
    March 24, 2020 at 2:29 pm

    Just call the Attorney General’s office, you’ll see this shit-bag wake the fuck up real quick

    • Justice is Blinder than Stevie Wonder
      March 24, 2020 at 3:47 pm

      REALLY, That useless cunt is too busy Trying to fuck over Donald Trump. Wake up stupid

      • whatevuh
        March 24, 2020 at 8:57 pm

        I never Wake up stupid . . always wake up smart, unlike some douchbags, I usually know what the fuck I’m talking about. Now sit down and shut up.

  • Typical poor people in these comments
    March 24, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Poor people are always anti-landlord, anti-boss, anti-CEO, because “Dey be all rich an shit.”

    Typical small-business owners and landlords just make ends meet, and if they are making money, it’s because they make all the sacrifices and take all the chances. CEOs make money because they get to work at 5:30 in the morning and are responsible for the well-being of perhaps hundreds of people.

    But the “Gibs me mah free stuff” crowd will never understand.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:13 pm

      What an asshole comment. I’m not poor shithead, and I’m far from wealthy. But you know what? I have a minimum amount I keep in my business accounts for unexpected costs. I’m not buying a timeshare if that account is below its minimum, because I can’t take a vacation until the balance is back up.
      A guy who owns a chain of restaurants but can’t meet payroll is not your typical business owner. He’s a failure. Instead of opening up another location… how about you keep some money in the bank?

  • Greedy POS
    March 24, 2020 at 2:22 pm

    I run a construction business and the main project we are doing has been shut down. I am still paying my help as I have the margins to do it. So instead of making 250k on the job I now make 175-200 k at the least depending on how long this drags out. Fuck these assholes who dont give a shit about anyone but themselves. The guy has probably mismanaged the restaurant, lived beyond his means and is filling his pockets with what money is left as he bails and files bankruptcy. I believe in karma, people like this will get their’s some day.

    • Dum.
      March 24, 2020 at 2:35 pm

      Do you have a clue as to what the margins are in the restaurant business?

      You’ll stop paying your crew soon enough.

      • Still a POS
        March 24, 2020 at 2:59 pm

        The guy owns a chain of restaurants, not some mom and pop diner. TB already showed you the assets and lifestyle the guy leads so it’s safe to say he has made plenty of money.
        Unlike him I will continue to pay my guys as I live within my means and know how to manage a successful business. Sadly for his employees he clearly doesn’t.

      • Lou P
        March 24, 2020 at 4:02 pm

        You need to pay them for what is OWED. The employees held up their end of the employment – they worked the hours.
        Pay them.
        No need to pay them for hours not worked.

      • WeRFucked
        March 24, 2020 at 4:17 pm

        Fucking Dum is a fucking idiot.

        His employees aren’t asking to be paid while they’re home jerking-off like you. They want to be paid for the time they already worked. If his margins are so fucking small he can’t pay his employees for work they’ve already done, maybe he should working at Walmart instead of pretending to be a successful entrepreneur.

  • Renfroe
    March 24, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    Addrianne
    Your fucking ignorance astounds me
    It’s hard to believe you were a school teacher
    What subject did you teach?
    Fellatio?

  • The perfect excuse
    March 24, 2020 at 2:08 pm

    I worked at the Walpole location a few years back. The idiots in corporate tried expanding the franchise too fast… opening stores that were soon shuttered, while making cutbacks at their long time existing locations. Many of the new ones closed, the established locations followed suit, and the only ones left standing were down the cape. The only thing keeping those alive was the summer rush. The ownership group is as incompetent as they are arrogant, and they’re now using the coronavirus to justify what they were destined to do years ago on their own…fail. Good riddance

  • Breaking news
    March 24, 2020 at 2:00 pm

    Trump just said country open and back to normal for Easter.

    • MORE BREAKING NEWS
      March 24, 2020 at 2:33 pm

      Trump is retarded.

      • Margaret Sanger
        March 24, 2020 at 6:16 pm

        Like your mother. Who knew that a little shit like you could be born from an ass fucking.

    • Snarky Pete
      March 24, 2020 at 4:58 pm

      Jesus came back to life on Easter Sunday. The same cannot be said for the economy.

  • Puhleeze
    March 24, 2020 at 1:52 pm

    This is obviously written by someone who have never run a small business.
    Must be nice to sit in you basement and cast judgement on something you know nothing about.

    Stick to rachets and handicapped parking.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:22 pm

      You sound like someone who relies on other people to earn money for you, then you don’t pay them when the check is due.

  • Hugh Mungous
    March 24, 2020 at 1:48 pm

    They had one in Walpole on route one, it was pretty good for the first year then went downhill precipitously. How the fuck this guy can manage to run restaurants is beyond me. The location was perfect the clientele was right there and he blew it. He must be a coke head or just suck dick and blow money on gerbils

  • Honest Abe
    March 24, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    Not meaning offense but the bottom of the economic food chain is just that. That you found yourself in that position, as much as I appreciate getting my drink without a long wait served by someone that knows whether to talk or just say thanks, is on no one but you. This isn’t Bernie Land yet. You don’t get $15/hr and a kiss on the foot for keeping my water topped up and bringing extra dressing on the side. When did slinging drinks or waiting tables become a career anyway? Who thought that you could make a living that feeds a family on this? Did you think it was wise to stake your fortune and future on what college students used to do between classes? Christ! even strippers have a shelf life and they know it. When the $’s don’t add up to the gas to get to the club for 3 straight nights, its time to hang up the g-strings and go full on escort ( or become a Statie or the wife of one, both get beaten up regularly ) .
    Did the government bail out buggy whip manufacturers? Eli Whitney’s cotton gin put the slaves on notice. History is full of people that had to change or die. It happens. Learn from your mistake and get your asses to the nearest Amazon or WalMart DC.

    • Shithead
      March 24, 2020 at 2:01 pm

      Fuck off.

      • Honest Abe
        March 24, 2020 at 4:35 pm

        OOPs. Hit a bit too close to home?
        Thinking that you should have paid a bit more attention in school?
        Well the world needs more bartenders…….until it doesn’t.
        Ain’t many wheat combine drivers in the Boston market either.
        Highly qualified guys but no market here.
        I knew a guy who graduated from the London School of Economics, worked for the Boston Fed and gave it up to be a shit hot pilot in the Air Force. Ended up flying scut missions for the old AAL and needed a job where he could make a living. Showed his resume to my boss who said I have nothing for this guy. But if we ever got to war I want him on our side.

        • Maverick
          March 25, 2020 at 10:29 am

          How I know you’re lying: There’s no such thing as a shit hot Air Farce pilot. Those tin winged fags are barely capable of flying winged dumpsters with cargoes of rubber dog shit. A retarded one-armed monkey can fly a plane better than one of those tinsel-wearing Maries in the Air Farce.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:24 pm

      Dickhead. Blow me.

  • Rich ppl problems
    March 24, 2020 at 1:40 pm

    I went to BBC in manchester once. The food was terrible!!! My shepherds pie literally had a pool of grease sitting on top. And to all of you restaurant owners– maybe if you own a restaurant and you cant pay your staff, YOU ARE LIVING OUTSIDE YOUR MEANS. why are budgets only for us normies?

    • Luke Fondleberg
      March 29, 2020 at 9:45 pm

      Obviously he’s an ardent follower of the Democratic Party playbook: “We need more revenue.” The ‘B’ word only applies to those of us who don’t control the inflow.

  • Judge Woo
    March 24, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    I need more evidence on this before casting judgement. The question really is whether or not he is “trying” to find a way to pay them. If he’s in the process of taking out a mortgage to pay his workers, then that takes time and he deserves a little slack. If he’s not, and that’s how I’m leaning, then that’s a real douchebag move. I want to see how this plays out a bit more before making a decision.

    • Pompasity is not a good look
      March 24, 2020 at 1:47 pm

      We will all be waiting for your learned decision with baited breath. NOT

    • Truth
      March 24, 2020 at 1:54 pm

      If he has to take a loan to make payroll its too late. The restaurant industry won’t come back quickly after this travesty. Many restaurants will close for good. Its not long before BBC, among others, files Chapter 11.

      • Dirty Harry
        March 24, 2020 at 4:44 pm

        He’s boinking payroll so that he doesn’t have to pop Chapter 11. You guys are so fucking stupid. No money coming in, payroll going out. If he gets the loan to keep his franchise running he would be a dope to fire his employees as if he keeps them and pays them his loan would be converted to a grant. But Piglosi wants to give handouts and testing to Diego and his burro and the Green New Fantasy and the deal is stalled. So he has to stiff his employees temporarily so that they have a business to come back too. Like retarded cats trying to grasp simple facts you low IQ, “the man is always sticking it to me” motherfuckers.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:27 pm

      Umm… where is the money from the sales the days these people worked Judge Woo-d-u-blo-me? I think I know. In the owners pocket because he’s worried about his lifestyle first.

  • I hope he gets diarrhea
    March 24, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    I got the shits both times I ate at the Portsmouth location….never tried for a third.

    • uncle Jerry
      March 24, 2020 at 11:01 pm

      this owner is a fucking homo at best I did work for him as a contractor and he offered to pay with gift certificates . I went balls deep in his woman and got paid. learn to code you fucking losers nobody owes you anything

  • Christina
    March 24, 2020 at 1:39 pm

    As a former employee of BBC, I am not even remotely surprised. The owners have been running what once was a great establishment to work and visit, right into the ground. Again, not surprised.

  • Dickwad
    March 24, 2020 at 1:30 pm

    What is scumbag owner. If he had any respect for his employees he would be writing personal checks right now for everyone and empty his bank account.

  • Ace Rothstein
    March 24, 2020 at 1:22 pm

    Turtle I love ya but you’re out of your league on this one. You sound foolish. It’s small businesses, like this one, that are hit hardest and have the least amount of wiggle room

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:29 pm

      Yup… especially when the owner takes the cash and keeps it for himself instead of paying his employees, because that is what I imagine has occurred.

  • Curious
    March 24, 2020 at 1:16 pm

    Have you ever run a restaurant TB?
    Or any business with a payroll.

    • Shithead
      March 24, 2020 at 2:03 pm

      He can’t even keep his one-man blog above water.

    • WeRFucked
      March 24, 2020 at 4:38 pm

      So you’re saying small business owners are all stupid cunts who can’t balance a checkbook, and keep a portion set aside for your liabilities? Obviously this BBC lover doesn’t.
      Whilst running a restaurant… you can’t pay your workers according to “Gay Curious.” And his friend “Shithead” has the key to the TBS records book, where he can see our favorite blogger is drowning.

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