Entitlement Enchiladas Demand Polar Express Train Ride In Woonsocket Lower Their Prices Because It’s Not Fair They Can’t Afford It And Won’t Stop Being Poor

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The Blackstone Valley Polar Express is a train ride that comes to Woonsocket every Christmas season and people pay to bring their kids on it, meet Santa, drink hot cocoa, and burn money.

I would never go on it because there’s no way am I paying $56 a pop for my crotch fruits to ride on a train that starts and ends in Woonsocket.

If I’m going to Woonsocket, I better be the one getting paid. Just sayin.

Nevertheless they fill these trains up because people don’t mind blowing money on their ovary nuggets at Christmas, and some people have bigger budgets than other people. If they couldn’t fill the trains up at that price then they’d have to lower the price, because that’s how supply and demand works. Murica.

But apparently some local Woonsocket folk have an issue with the ticket prices and are looking to do something about it.

This is John Erben.

As you can see, he is wearing a Plainridge Casino shirt, because he can afford to blow his money on booze and slots, but he thinks a train ride is too expensive.

I actually agree with him – no way in hell I’d ever pay that price. There’s a million and one things I can do around the holidays for $10 or less. Sledding is free. There’s tons of Christmas light shows at people’s houses. I can take my kid to the Auburn Mall, have him sit on Santa’s lap, and then buy the cheapest picture package the elf will allow. I don’t NEED to take him on a train ride to and from Woonsocket for him to have a good time at Christmas.

But the Alexandria Ocascio-Cortezification of America reared its ugly head in the comments.

Hopefully we can fix that? It’s not your’s to fix. The only thing that can fix a private company lowering their prices is a decrease in demand. That’s how capitalism works moron.

Apparently there’s “no excuses” for a private business to set their prices as they see fit.

“You don’t like the idea of Woonsocket children having a fair offer to attend the trade.”

Oh shut your whiny piehole. The children of Woonsocket are entitled to nothing. And if you’ve taught your kids that life is in any way, shape, or form “fair,” then you have failed as a parent. “Life isn’t fair.” Grandma Shellshocker said that on a semi-daily basis growing up every time I bitched and whined about the other kids in school having Starter jackets and Jordan’s. On what planet am I living where parents think their kids have some sort of God given right to ride a train if their parents can’t afford the tickets?

But, but, but muh fixed income!

OK, then don’t go if you can’t afford it. What happens if someone opens up a nice steakhouse in Woonsocket? Are they supposed to lower their prices so that Woonsocket crotch fiends don’t have to go to Wendy’s? It’s not fair!!

According to John it’s a “tragedy.”

If you can’t get over your own inadequacies as a parent that’s not the concern of the Polar Express. If you want your kids to have nicer things then work harder. But the mere fact that you think the only way that you can please your children is by having them ride on this train tells me everything I need to know about your parenting.

Newsflash – you don’t get to decide whether or not a privately owned business should have discounted tickets for Woonsocket kids. It’s not your business, it’s theirs. If you don’t like it then don’t ride the train. Simple.

Oh, and you’re not just entitled to take one kid, you’re entitled to take all of them.

Nine kids? Here’s an idea – get over your aversion to latex. Then you might be able to afford more shit. And for the record, plenty of people can afford it, which is why the train is always full.

But, but, but, it should be more “affordable.”

Just because you can’t afford it doesn’t mean it’s not affordable. Don’t like it? Stop being poor.

According to Arlene, the Polar Express already makes “enough” money.

She not only knows their expenses and overhead costs already, she also is the person who arbitrarily gets to decide how much “enough” profit is.

Although from the looks of this entitled enchilada’s Facebook page, it appears as if she can afford to take her crotch fruits on vacations to resorts in tropical climates.

Nevertheless, this privately owned business should set a price based on what Arlene deems to be reasonable. Sure, they probably put it at that number because it’s really expensive and taxing to run a seasonal business like this, thus necessitating the ticket price. But Arlene wants something so she should be able to get it at the price SHE determines.

But, but, but, Jesus!!

Ya know who cashes in on Jesus? Every church ever. And for the record, kids probably know by the age of 6 or 7 the difference between poor and rich. Give them the cover of your trash can and a hill with snow on it and they’ll get over it.

I laughed out loud at this one!

Hello, media? I have a big story to report. There’s a private business charging money for their services. More details to come. Luckily for him the media did pick it up, but unfortunately for him that media was Turtleboy.

The amount of people who truly believe that they have the right to dictate prices of a privately owned business was startling.

Every time my kids see other kids going to Disney World they ask me why they can’t go. The truth is that it’s a gigantic money pit and we can have more fun for cheaper doing something else. But I guess what I should’ve done is whine, complain about how Mickey Mouse is an extortionist, and demand they lower their prices.

This genius couldn’t figure out that she was being mocked.

“That would be good.” She thinks that government giving vouchers and letting people pay for the train with food stamps was a “good idea.” This is why I want less people voting. Because these people have no idea how an economy works, and think that life should be based on what they perceive to be “fair.” They don’t think about overhead costs of the business, the positive impact that the taxes businesses pay have on the town, or the jobs the business creates. They just see something they want but can’t afford and they demand to have it. They see you have nice shit so they vote for politicians who promise to take away your nice shit. The less people that vote the better. 

More entitlement:

And then there’s this.


But by far my favorite was Roxy and the other who seem to think that the train is a government owned entity.


Just no.

The bottom line is that if you’re teaching kids that the true meaning of Christmas is that they should be able to have whatever they want, then you have failed as a parent. If you are so unimaginative that you can’t find a way for your kids to enjoy Christmas without riding on a stupid train, then you have failed as a parent. If you think that you have some sort of right to dictate what a privately owned company charges for admission, then you have failed basic economics.

Woonsocket is a terrible, God-forsaken place. The tax base there is probably zilch because no one who makes any money stays in Woonsocket. So they rely on privately owned business to come to town so they can tax them up the ass, which in turn pays for your kid’s free public school and roads.

Don’t like it? Stop being poor.

42 Comment(s)
  • Chief of Operations, Civil Assessment Divisin
    December 7, 2018 at 3:06 am

    Regarding the makers and takers;
    Why not advertise a voucher giveaway and gather the financial foragers and frauds in one location.
    Process their “applications” for the voucher and offer a shuttle to return them to the designated parking area except that it takes a little detour to off to offload at a secure containment and disposal site where they can be properly assessed for continued metabolic process?
    If they are written off as being an unreasonable burden on the community but are otherwise untainted and in good health, then they are ushered into the nutritional processing area, where they are slaughtered and converted into basic, familiar food items like sausages and ground meat to nourish the other candidates that arrive at the site later on.
    The remaining arrivals will be further divided into those qualified for return to their homes with gift certificates issued, general labor or having specific skill sets useful to the community.
    One of the critical skill sets will be females found suitable for morale support activities that benefit the hard working staff of such facilities. These candidates will be segregated from the general population immediately and put through the necessary training to allow them to provide the most therapeutic experience for staff.
    As you can see, this facility will be somewhat self sustaining once the process has had some time to work.
    Pretty much a win/win for society.

  • deflateddoritodinks
    December 6, 2018 at 11:35 am

    Maybe you can like get a fucking job you crackhead?

  • Eileen Fortick
    December 6, 2018 at 11:22 am

    Beginning on December 8th I will be opening my Santa’s Sleigh ride through Woonsocket as an affordable alternative to the Poler Express!. For just $1 per person you can hop into a row of shopping carts attached to “Santa’s Sleigh” (a 1981 Chevy Malibu Station Wagon) that will make its way though the city past all of its wonderful sights – boarded up stores, triple-deckers with couches on the lawn and front doors left wide open in December, the famous “Santa’s Elves” (medicated zombies shuffling around carrying plastic bags) and much more. The ride leaves from across City Hall every 20 minutes starting at 9 AM, hope to see you!

    • Woonsocket
      December 6, 2018 at 11:34 am

      Will the sewage treatment plant be a stop. It just smells like Woonsocket Christmas. Really gets you in the “giving” spirit. Even if I am away from Woonsocket, I just take a dump, take a wiff and feel like I am back there.

    December 6, 2018 at 7:13 am

    Why do poor parents think its the worlds problem to make sure there kid has presents,holiday fun, nice clothes, shoes, & video games? You chose to fuck with no birth control, you chose to squeeze a life out of the musty stalagmite cavern, so guess what? YOU fucking take care of it and make sure it’s happy.Its YOUR responsibility. YOU should be paying 100% of the cost to feed,house, & entertain YOUR goddamn kid. YOUR CHOICES YOUR KID(S) YOUR PROBLEM. Nobody cares if your bat cave kids go without and have a shit life so if you really care so much you should probably peel yourself out of your pajama pants toss on some of those unflattering leggings all musty cunts love so much and get applying to make sure next year isn’t so shitty for your kid. You wanna know whats unfair? All the money that gets taken out of checks weekly to pay for all the ungrateful lazy fucks.

  • Hoe Hoe Hoe... Merry Christmas
    December 6, 2018 at 5:19 am

    50 stolen shopping carts tied together rolling down route 9 towards the lake. A homeless man named Santa with a golden shopping cart and penchant for buggery leads the Worcester Polar Express-Depress, smiling children in pajamas in each cart with their toothless meth head guardians.

    Everyone full of Christmas cheer, whooping with joy and hollering in terror rolling down towards lake QuinSewermon…. the Worcester Polar Express-Depress usually derails…. arrives at Umass Memorial one way or the other. Officially it’s called a mass casualty incident.

    The good news is the tickets are only $10 each, and Santa takes 2 for 1 EBT, BJ’s and drugs of any kind for payment. Fleas Navida and a Merry Christmas to alll….. Hoe Hoe Hoe. for more information visit crackwhoreconfessions

  • The Vorlon
    The Vorlon
    December 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    Let’s see, my taxes can either pay for the feral Ratchet offspring to ride the train, or a year’s birth control for the parents.

    I’ll chip in for the BC.

  • Sharon Peters
    December 5, 2018 at 9:24 pm

    You can’t afford it? Then I guess you can’t go. Simple. Waaahhh…. I can’t afford a yacht, can’t they make just one weekend when I can buy one for a dollar? Pathetic.

  • Mr Potter
    December 5, 2018 at 6:31 pm

    They should have a Polar Express for the poor people. Call it The Dollar Express. They can pay $1 to have their sorry asses jammed wall to wall into a cattle car pulled by a drunken Santa in his 88 Chevy Caprice on some abandoned tracks in Pawtucket. He can play Xmas songs from the subwoofer in his trunk, while the children marvel at the colored lights of the 7-eleven, Sav-A-Lot, Walgreens, and liquor stores just past the abandoned buildings. The parents can bring cheer and good tidings to the nearby hobo camp by raining empty beer bottles filled with piss down on those worthless sacks of shit. It would be an unforgettable Xmas for everyone.

  • Seriously
    December 5, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    I wondered about stuff like this when I paid WATER COUNTRY in Portsmouth, NH $48 each about 25 years ago. Why so much? Then I remembered my lessons from Economics 101: if you take away the profit from the business, the business ceases to exist. Without the reward (profit), no one will risk putting up the money to build the business in the first place. The fact that you can’t afford something is not my problem. It’s your problem. Why don’t you go out and raise $2 million to build a kids train ride and then let poor people in for free. Go ahead! See how they treat your $2 million investment. How about you do your job before you tell me to do your job?

  • Seriously
    December 5, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    I wondered about stuff like this when I paid WATER COUNTRY in Portsmouth, NH $48 each about 25 years ago. Why so much? Then I remembered my lessons from Economics 101: if you take away the profit from the business, the business ceases to exist. Without the reward (profit), no one will risk putting up the money to build the business in the first place. The fact that you can’t afford something is not my problem. It’s your problem. Why don’t you go out and raise $2 million to build a kids train ride and then let poor people in for free. Go ahead! See how they treat your $2 million investment. How about you do your job before you tell me to do your job?

    It’s pretty simple:

    The folks who are getting the free stuff don’t like the folks who are paying for the free stuff because
    the folks who are paying for the free stuff can no longer afford to pay for both the free stuff and their own stuff.

    And the folks who are paying for the free stuff want the free stuff to stop.

    And the folks who are getting the free stuff want even more free stuff on top of the free stuff they are already getting!

    Now.. the people who are forcing the people who pay for the free stuff have told the people who are RECEIVING the free stuff that the people who are PAYING for the free stuff are being mean, prejudiced, and racist.

    So.. the people who are GETTING the free stuff have been convinced they need to hate the people who are paying for the free stuff — by the people who are forcing some people to pay for their free stuff and giving them the free stuff in the first place.

    We have let the free stuff giving go on for so long that there are now more people getting free stuff than paying for the free stuff.

    Now understand this.

    All great democracies have committed financial suicide somewhere between 200 and 250 years after being founded.

    The reason?

    The voters figured out they could vote themselves money from the treasury by electing people who promised to give them money from the treasury in exchange for electing them.

    The United States officially became a Republic in 1776, some 242 years ago.

    The number of people now getting free stuff outnumbers the people paying for the free stuff.
    Failure to change that spells the end of the United States as we know it.

    • Payer of Free Stuff
      December 6, 2018 at 8:02 am

      Exactly, Well said. I would vote for you in any political role.

      • deflateddoritodinks
        December 6, 2018 at 11:41 am

        When two wolves and a sheep vote on what to have for dinner=time to go on the dole.

  • Ron Low
    December 5, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    Loved the guy asking for “vouches”. Yeah sure they come with the full package, ebt, wic, section 8, Christmas train rides in Woonsocket. Wtf. Agree with all the commenters, it’s about choices. Wanna go? Sacrifice for the tix and go. Otherwise, STFU.

  • Captain Trips
    Rumpled Foreskin
    December 5, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    I though Arlene was do-able until I looked at her Facebook. Mudshark. Bet her hole is foamy and smells like blue cheese

  • Local real local
    Local Real Local
    December 5, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    The “Santa Train” like the train ride in Carver (Thomas) is an experience your children will remember forever. If you go to the train each year, you are forming a tradition that your child will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

    Instead a buying another Dunkins’ coffee, feeding that pig face of yours or getting another bottle of your favorite Boone Farm flavor wine, try this: save money and buy the tickets. Instead of buying yourself another Nike pair of sneakers or buying another xBox first person shooter game (which is exactly what your child doesnt need), get the tickets, buy the hot chocolate and bring your cellphone for pictures with Santa. Then with the money left over, you goto the Pharmacy and print off the pictures from the trip and pass them out to family. You say hello to the clerk and you wish her a Merry Christmas. She smiles and responds the same. This might be a bit too much for some of you, because you live in squaler and delight in the merryment of stupidity and criminal behavior. Go slow, meatbags, and just start with “HI and THANK YOU”. You can always build from there.

    Oh and by the way, go F yourself if you think just because someone can afford a 75 dollar ticket per person this automatically means the purchaser is “weathly” or “loaded”. There are plenty of people that save and spend responsibly.

    This article is living proof: New Englanders are cheap, miserly and impart the Ebenezer Scrooge wisdom at the most wonderful time of the year. Merry (F-ing) Christmas, you Puritanical shitbums!

  • Blackballed
    December 5, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Lovey Pearl? She? definitely is a guy… and an ugly one at that..

  • Ungawah
    December 5, 2018 at 2:53 pm

    Well they could get discounted tickets if Mr Erben’s wife is willing to pull a train…. Oh, wait…

  • Hold my Hoops
    December 5, 2018 at 2:38 pm

    Someone tell Diamond and Pearls her weave is crooked. Plenty of $ for that though

  • WiulltW
    December 5, 2018 at 1:55 pm

    The only semi-comprehensible comment was from someone who suggested a group rate for a bunch of school kids. Hey- an offer to fill the train guaranteed for a discount for each rider. That’s a reasonable offer.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 5, 2018 at 1:41 pm

    Willing to bet all of the idiots bitching about the price have multiple large flat screen TVs, large cable packages, PS 4 or XBox One, and the kids have more toys than they could possibly ever use. I see it all of the time.

    • Y
      December 5, 2018 at 1:51 pm

      Agreed. Plus, they all have EBT, etc., and they want more subsidies? The gov’t can’t subsidize anything else because the ratchets already consume the entire budget.
      In true dem fashion, they want to spend, spend spend…these ppl have no idea what a P&L sheet looks like; I doubt they could even balance a checkbook (or checking account) if they had one.

    • Nspector
      December 5, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Every search warrant I ever executed (over the course of 21 years), the residents had a newer vehicle than I did. Playing the po’ or race card didn’t get a lot of sympathy.

      I guess Saint Louis City is just a refuge of those damn rich people. Erben should campaign here to make overpriced amusements affordable. He’d have a lot of people with $60 a month broadband (and probably cable TV to go along with it) clucking how awful it is that their kids can’t go on a train ride that they certainly are entitled to. It’s all about choices and priorites, folks.

  • Captain Trips
    Captain Trips
    December 5, 2018 at 1:17 pm

    I think the prices are that high to keep the ghetto pajama set off the train.

    • The Middle
      December 5, 2018 at 2:23 pm

      Ding ding ding!!!

  • Woonsuckit
    December 5, 2018 at 12:45 pm

    Can we somehow cut Rhode Island off the continent and let it float away in the sea to somewhere else.

    • Maggie the Cat
      December 5, 2018 at 1:39 pm

      People like the Rhode Island Ratchets are all over the world. We can’t escape them, so floating them out to sea isn’t going to help…though it may be fun to watch them drown.

  • z
    December 5, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    Listen. Santa only gets to work outside of his factory only about 1 month out of the year. It’s not at the North Pole, because that would be stupid. The ice constantly shifts.

    He’s in Greenland. 11 fucking months of the year he’s stuck making toys surrounded by midgets. Barely pays the bills. You know how much it costs to bring heating oil and food in?
    From Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve is the only time he can do meet and greets. So, that’s were he makes his nut.

    And you people want him to lower his price? I heard him say “If the Rolling Stones can get 20,000 pounds ($24,495 at the present exchange rate, no lie, just looked it up) for a meet and greet , you ass–clowns are trying to chisel me down from $50-75? Fuck you”.

    Santa can really get going when he’s had a few.

    • Eee
      December 5, 2018 at 1:31 pm

      What was the exchange rate before?

      • z
        December 5, 2018 at 1:59 pm

        20,000 pounds in March according to the article (english web site). Don’t know what it was then.

        I would think around the same in USD. I don’t believe there’s been that much fluctuation.

  • The Middle
    December 5, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    I’ll just come right out and admit that I deliberately choose to do overpriced things with my kids for the very reason that triggers these people. One place that shall go unnamed gives out free or discounted passes to the people that live near it and that completely fucked up my experience this year. If these people had any intention of raising their etiquette to the level of that seen by people paying full price I’d feel very differently.

    • z
      December 5, 2018 at 12:52 pm

      Mystic Aquarium? Remember the breaded corn dog over the summer bragging about the free crap?

    • Blleh
      December 5, 2018 at 6:09 pm

      “EBT Card to Culture

      The Department of Transitional Assistance and the Massachusetts Cultural Council have partnered together to offer discounted admissions to many of the Commonwealth’s best museums and cultural institutions. ..EBT cards from any state in the United States can be used to get $3 adult and youth daytime admission to Old Sturbridge Village for up to four people per EBT or WIC card – cannot be combined with other discounts/promotions or used for special daytime events* or evening programs.” (Regular adult admission is $28 per person…I will give them props for some nice military discounts, though.)

      Ecotarium in Worcester – $18 for adults, $14 for children, unless…you have EBT or WIC, in which case it is $2 per person, up to four people.

  • WeAreFukd
    December 5, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    TBS… poor shamming the people of Woonsocket.

    OMG… this:

    “Nine kids? Here’s an idea – get over your aversion to latex. Then you might be able to afford more shit. And for the record, plenty of people can afford it, which is why the train is always full.”

    That’s funny.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      December 5, 2018 at 1:15 pm

      Nine kids and bitching about prices. Priceless!

      Must have failed sex ed and home economics class in school

  • Barry
    December 5, 2018 at 12:01 pm

    Trying to explain economics and basic principles of economics to these people is like trying to explain the solar system to flat earthers.

    • Barry
      December 5, 2018 at 12:09 pm

      I sure did fuck that comment up.

      • Neil deGrasse Tyson
        December 9, 2018 at 9:07 pm

        No, you didn’t f’up that comment.
        Neil deGrasse Tyson

    • ElJefe72
      December 5, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      Hell, if Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who has a minor in economics from Boston University, doesn’t understand basic economic principles, then how can these people?

      • Barry
        December 5, 2018 at 1:56 pm

        I actually stole that analogy from someone on the Joe Rogan podcast describing what explaining economics to her would be like. I had no idea that she was an economics major. 

  • hank
    December 5, 2018 at 11:42 am

    I heard if you wear Jordans and a flat brim, not only do you get to go for free but you get to take the wallet of the person in front of you without them knowing.

    • Neil deGrasse Tyson
      December 9, 2018 at 9:10 pm

      Ni**ers gonna Nig!
      Neil deGrasse Tyson

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