Follow and Subscribe to Turtleboy podcasts on SoundCloud or iTunes by clicking here.
Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at Turtleboysports@gmail.com for more information.
If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:
Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:
The Blackstone Valley Polar Express is a train ride that comes to Woonsocket every Christmas season and people pay to bring their kids on it, meet Santa, drink hot cocoa, and burn money.
I would never go on it because there’s no way am I paying $56 a pop for my crotch fruits to ride on a train that starts and ends in Woonsocket.
If I’m going to Woonsocket, I better be the one getting paid. Just sayin.
Nevertheless they fill these trains up because people don’t mind blowing money on their ovary nuggets at Christmas, and some people have bigger budgets than other people. If they couldn’t fill the trains up at that price then they’d have to lower the price, because that’s how supply and demand works. Murica.
But apparently some local Woonsocket folk have an issue with the ticket prices and are looking to do something about it.
This is John Erben.
As you can see, he is wearing a Plainridge Casino shirt, because he can afford to blow his money on booze and slots, but he thinks a train ride is too expensive.
I actually agree with him – no way in hell I’d ever pay that price. There’s a million and one things I can do around the holidays for $10 or less. Sledding is free. There’s tons of Christmas light shows at people’s houses. I can take my kid to the Auburn Mall, have him sit on Santa’s lap, and then buy the cheapest picture package the elf will allow. I don’t NEED to take him on a train ride to and from Woonsocket for him to have a good time at Christmas.
But the Alexandria Ocascio-Cortezification of America reared its ugly head in the comments.
Hopefully we can fix that? It’s not your’s to fix. The only thing that can fix a private company lowering their prices is a decrease in demand. That’s how capitalism works moron.
Apparently there’s “no excuses” for a private business to set their prices as they see fit.
“You don’t like the idea of Woonsocket children having a fair offer to attend the trade.”
Oh shut your whiny piehole. The children of Woonsocket are entitled to nothing. And if you’ve taught your kids that life is in any way, shape, or form “fair,” then you have failed as a parent. “Life isn’t fair.” Grandma Shellshocker said that on a semi-daily basis growing up every time I bitched and whined about the other kids in school having Starter jackets and Jordan’s. On what planet am I living where parents think their kids have some sort of God given right to ride a train if their parents can’t afford the tickets?
But, but, but muh fixed income!
OK, then don’t go if you can’t afford it. What happens if someone opens up a nice steakhouse in Woonsocket? Are they supposed to lower their prices so that Woonsocket crotch fiends don’t have to go to Wendy’s? It’s not fair!!
According to John it’s a “tragedy.”
If you can’t get over your own inadequacies as a parent that’s not the concern of the Polar Express. If you want your kids to have nicer things then work harder. But the mere fact that you think the only way that you can please your children is by having them ride on this train tells me everything I need to know about your parenting.
Newsflash – you don’t get to decide whether or not a privately owned business should have discounted tickets for Woonsocket kids. It’s not your business, it’s theirs. If you don’t like it then don’t ride the train. Simple.
Oh, and you’re not just entitled to take one kid, you’re entitled to take all of them.
Nine kids? Here’s an idea – get over your aversion to latex. Then you might be able to afford more shit. And for the record, plenty of people can afford it, which is why the train is always full.
But, but, but, it should be more “affordable.”
Just because you can’t afford it doesn’t mean it’s not affordable. Don’t like it? Stop being poor.
According to Arlene, the Polar Express already makes “enough” money.
She not only knows their expenses and overhead costs already, she also is the person who arbitrarily gets to decide how much “enough” profit is.
Although from the looks of this entitled enchilada’s Facebook page, it appears as if she can afford to take her crotch fruits on vacations to resorts in tropical climates.
Nevertheless, this privately owned business should set a price based on what Arlene deems to be reasonable. Sure, they probably put it at that number because it’s really expensive and taxing to run a seasonal business like this, thus necessitating the ticket price. But Arlene wants something so she should be able to get it at the price SHE determines.
But, but, but, Jesus!!
Ya know who cashes in on Jesus? Every church ever. And for the record, kids probably know by the age of 6 or 7 the difference between poor and rich. Give them the cover of your trash can and a hill with snow on it and they’ll get over it.
I laughed out loud at this one!
Hello, media? I have a big story to report. There’s a private business charging money for their services. More details to come. Luckily for him the media did pick it up, but unfortunately for him that media was Turtleboy.
The amount of people who truly believe that they have the right to dictate prices of a privately owned business was startling.
Every time my kids see other kids going to Disney World they ask me why they can’t go. The truth is that it’s a gigantic money pit and we can have more fun for cheaper doing something else. But I guess what I should’ve done is whine, complain about how Mickey Mouse is an extortionist, and demand they lower their prices.
This genius couldn’t figure out that she was being mocked.
“That would be good.” She thinks that government giving vouchers and letting people pay for the train with food stamps was a “good idea.” This is why I want less people voting. Because these people have no idea how an economy works, and think that life should be based on what they perceive to be “fair.” They don’t think about overhead costs of the business, the positive impact that the taxes businesses pay have on the town, or the jobs the business creates. They just see something they want but can’t afford and they demand to have it. They see you have nice shit so they vote for politicians who promise to take away your nice shit. The less people that vote the better.
And then there’s this.
But by far my favorite was Roxy and the other who seem to think that the train is a government owned entity.
The bottom line is that if you’re teaching kids that the true meaning of Christmas is that they should be able to have whatever they want, then you have failed as a parent. If you are so unimaginative that you can’t find a way for your kids to enjoy Christmas without riding on a stupid train, then you have failed as a parent. If you think that you have some sort of right to dictate what a privately owned company charges for admission, then you have failed basic economics.
Woonsocket is a terrible, God-forsaken place. The tax base there is probably zilch because no one who makes any money stays in Woonsocket. So they rely on privately owned business to come to town so they can tax them up the ass, which in turn pays for your kid’s free public school and roads.
Don’t like it? Stop being poor.