Turtleboy Investigates

Ex-Con Lunch Shaming Con-Artist Mom Has Pre-empted Our Blogs Exposing Her By Smearing Me As A Racist And Contacting Clive McFarlane


We had a lot of new readers from California who have never heard of Turtleboy before after I published a teaser blog about an investigative series I’m going to be publishing next week about a California con-artist named Kylie Kirkpatrick. She’s basically teaching her son to lie about “lunch shaming” so they can profit. And since she’s now aware of the fact that we’re onto her she’s launched a campaign to smear us first, since most people in California have never heard of Turtleboy. Read about it on TB Daily News by clicking here





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70 Comment(s)
  • This cuntbag
    December 29, 2019 at 8:45 pm


  • Wheres the father??
    December 29, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    San Quentin?

  • Greta Thunberg
    December 29, 2019 at 6:23 pm

    How Dare you!

  • Hi Kylie!!! Enjoying the comments? Keep those reading glasses on.
    December 29, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    Any thoughts on Antifa?

    • Judge dread
      December 29, 2019 at 6:26 pm

      Yah- they can kiss my royal Irish ass.

    • Same glasses
      December 29, 2019 at 7:12 pm

      as that spandex wearing SJW cunt from Newton who took
      down the it’s ok to be white sign.

  • Real_Finn
    December 29, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    She ate his food.

    Get Fucked,

  • Captain Trips
    David Duke
    December 29, 2019 at 9:13 am

    Poor kid looks like a mixer. No wonder daddy is absent

  • A person
    December 29, 2019 at 12:01 am

    It is called transferance, the mother is fat and ugly so she does not want to raise a fat kid. She lays into her son with such fat guilt that even he will no longer eat.

    Lunch shaming is not real and only fat, retarded rejects feel like it is.

  • Calm WhiteDad
    December 28, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    I agree with Tandy Price. Nobody wants to hear woman drivel. But I disagree on the second point as I do think women will be taken seriously, eventually. Hardcore, intense alpha chicks do exist. I’ve heard legends about how the alpha woman in the friends group essentially forces her menstrual cycle on the girlfriends. You must respect that.

    Coloreds, on the other hand, will never be taken seriously in my lifetime. It’ll take some help from evolution for that to happen.

    I think the site is BETTER without the other writers. One voice. I’m sure it’s more work than I’d be willing to do, but there is that chance he gets picked up by someone to do something that makes lots of money. But ya, he doesn’t need any bitches. The short man complex gives him all the drive he needs to thrive without anyone’s help. You got my vote TB. Just don’t make me watch the pod.

    • Grammie
      December 29, 2019 at 1:37 am

      Whew. Thanks AWD! Grammie is happy to let you guys do all the thinking, it is so exhausting! Just remember: don’t underestimate anyone. That mistake will often get you in trouble…

    • Not So Angry
      December 29, 2019 at 8:31 am

      Wow. So many stereotypes, so little time. Good job there.
      I especially like the short man syndrome.
      Does anybody remember AKs manic search for Clive? The off-the-meds run through the T&G offices? The vertical iPhone video? I’ll have to find the blog post, get all the new people to see the real manlet in action.
      TaTa for now, we’ll be back.

  • Ted Bundys VW
    December 28, 2019 at 10:05 pm

    Hard pass.Would keep driving on this one.

    • Richard Ramirez The Night Stalker
      December 28, 2019 at 11:28 pm

      Ted your slipping.That is an absolute yes.

      • The Grim Sleeper
        December 28, 2019 at 11:41 pm

        A definite maybe..

        • John Wayne Gacy
          December 28, 2019 at 11:56 pm

          No thanks.Not really into sausage wallets.

          • Captain Trips
            Richard Ramirez
            December 29, 2019 at 9:12 am

            I wouldn’t even be able to get hard with that

    • Judge dread
      December 29, 2019 at 8:13 am

      One of my friends was wearing a wet suit and hanging out in an outside a psychedelic trance party. He was obviously on acid. I don’t know why he was wearing a wet suit but I saw him in the ally way and I was like hey man what’s up? He’s like the NYPD shook me down because I matched the description of someone called the night slasher. The late 90s ruled.

      • Satan
        December 30, 2019 at 9:41 am


  • SkankHunt42
    December 28, 2019 at 9:44 pm

    Like throwing a hot dog down the Ted Williams Tunnel.

  • A. Denker Knee
    December 28, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    OK all of you California bitches, give me money. We’ve talked long enough, time is a’wasting.
    Give me $10 or I’ll blog about you!
    Then I’ll make up a dozen or so fake “reader accounts” and say wonderful things about me.
    $10! Send me $10 now! I mean it, if you don’t I’ll go to your football game and show you my junk!
    Right now, muthas, right now.

  • Renfro
    December 28, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    The tattoo on her chest says I love sucking nasty negroe convicts dicks because no white man would touch me

  • Idi Amin
    December 28, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    Kylie.I hear the brown eye is your favorite.
    Can I give you a pink sock sometime?

  • San Francisco Poop Map
    December 28, 2019 at 5:08 pm

    You know this cow has dropped a log or two on
    the sidewalk.All in the name of social justice and equality of course.

  • Junkies Against Plastic Straw Ban
    December 28, 2019 at 4:57 pm

    Imagine the continuous vaginal belching.
    Probably stinks worse than Skid Row after
    a long overdue rain storm.

  • capone181
    Lee Ho
    December 28, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    The dumb beast needs to find a tar pit and lay down in it

  • Rosie O'Donnells Stunt Penis
    December 28, 2019 at 4:46 pm


  • Dana Carvey
    December 28, 2019 at 4:14 pm

    Doesn’t look like this fat hairy tattooed cunt or her mulatto half breed son have missed many meals

    California is a filthy shithole
    This cunts face looks like an unwiped asshole

  • Kenneth Foley
    December 28, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    Hi CA kids – and the rest of you TB newbies

    I think it very brave what TB and his team does.
    They really do lay it on the line takin on the corrupt ratchet machinery when they see it.

    Keep in mind:
    WAY to risky.
    Support TEAM Turtle

    • AspiringBabyDaddy
      December 28, 2019 at 8:14 pm

      I do agree, but I feel compelled to say this. The TB “lingo” that I’ve come to like so much seems very contrived/fake coming from one source. I really feel the site is suffering from the lack of female voices, namely NSTB, SSTB, MVTB, and even Bristol.
      I know Unc is doing what he has to do, but this is very similar to when a music group tries to “rebrand”. The many female voices plus Unc are what made this place so special.
      I hope there’s a plan to bring them back into the fold. If not, I’m not quite sure the appeal will sustain.
      This is not hate…I get it. It’s just that the difference is obvious and negative.

      • Tandy Price
        December 28, 2019 at 9:29 pm

        Guys don’t want to read anything written by a dumb cunt
        You cunts will never be taken seriously

  • Fuckin' Hypocrites
    December 28, 2019 at 2:57 pm

    So they’re calling much deserved criticism “fake news”? I thought that was an umbrella term that troglodytes like her mocked trump for. So, they’re co-opting it for themselves too now?

  • Whale Spearer
    December 28, 2019 at 2:55 pm

    ROFL, “foodie”. Yeah… she’s a FOODIE, all right.

  • Jafreese
    December 28, 2019 at 12:24 pm

    If her kids really need free or reduced lunch, they will get it. If they aren’t then that’s another sign there’s something else going on with her.

    Our school department notified me this year that my kids qualified and I was shocked because (not like I’m rich or anything) but my income is way past what qualifies for free school lunch. I called the school and they couldn’t even tell me the exact reason. The system automatically flagged my kids as candidates, probably due to some state rule that has nothing to do with income. I tried to explain that I didn’t feel right accepting a benefit we don’t need and they didn’t even want to bother looking into it. They did some basic checking, couldn’t find out the exact reason, and eventually told me to just take advantage of it.

    Funny thing is one of the main reasons I tried to chase it down with the school department was fear of being Turtleboy Famous if he does an investigation on school lunch abuse. So TB, investigate the MA Education Department, not me, ok? 🙂

    • Extra Milk Please
      December 28, 2019 at 3:47 pm

      Jafreese, it’s really simple math. The public school system has been manipulating the system for year. If you fill out an application for free lunch or reduced lunch they will tell you to lie and put a low number on for your income. They want every kid to qualify, and they don’t want you or anyone else to pay for their lunch. They make more money off of giving taxpayer funded “free” lunches. Dollar amounts differ from state to state but the jist of it is this:
      If you pay for lunch you pay the school $2.25.
      If you get reduced lunch you pay $1.25 and the state gives the school 1.75 so the school gets $3.00.
      If you get free lunch, the state gives the school $3.50.
      So by signing you up for free lunch, they get 3.50 instead of the 2.25 you would pay.
      $1.25 a day x 180 days a school year, that’s 225.00 a year extra x the number of students on free lunch. That’s a lot of extra apples and carrots and chicken nuggets and lunch lady salaries.

      • Jafreese
        December 28, 2019 at 8:25 pm

        I assumed it must benefit the school financially. If that’s the exact math, it’s more than I expected. Maybe the most unbelievable part is we didn’t even apply for lunch benefits. Every year I just throw the application away because I know my income is over the limit, don’t even need to do math to figure that out. The school told me they ran the names of all of the kids in the school system. So to your point, they must know people like me who just throw the application away are leaving money on the table them.

  • hartf811
    December 28, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    Why are 99% of ratchets so ugly?

    • Corinth Arkadin
      December 29, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      To ask that question is to answer it.

  • A free lunch
    December 28, 2019 at 11:47 am

    Less ugly chest tattoo’s = more money for lunch. This isnt rocket science you skank hag.

  • Calm WhiteDad
    December 28, 2019 at 11:38 am

    Ironic that this SJW whale would have the whitest of white girl names, Kylie. Personally, I think any girl with the name Kylie should at least be a solid 6. This wildebeest isn’t even a solid 1.

    The white guilt runs strong with this one. From her wokeness to her brown kid, she’s clearly one of the “good” ones.

    Disgusting pig should be forced to get her tubes tied before she brings another brown welfare baby into the cesspool off society.

    • hartf811
      Jus’ askin’
      December 28, 2019 at 12:15 pm

      Better question is why are black tree swingers attracted to ugly white chicks that are societal cast offs. Is there a smell they are drawn to?

      • Calm WhiteDad
        December 28, 2019 at 12:58 pm

        I believe it is a subconscious , or even conscious, way to get back at the evil white man that enslaved their great-great-great grandpappy. What better way is there than to pound a white whales brown baby chamber with an enormous black dong.

        I grew up in an all black neighborhood (i was the only white kid) and got to see first hand the sense of entitlement. Financial, career and College acceptance advantages aren’t enough and will never be enough in their opinion.

        Look no further than the Democratic debates and their discussion with regard to reparations. Never enough.

      • Seed Spreader
        December 28, 2019 at 2:58 pm

        They know an easy lay when they see one.

  • I See Dumb People
    I see dumb people... Everywhere
    December 28, 2019 at 10:54 am

    If you cant afford the schools lunch.. Here’s a crazy idea.. Pack your kid a homemade lunch!!!! My kids actually prefer taking lunch instead of the schools lunch, unless of course its pizza day at school then they will buy lunch.
    I don’t know how any ” media” outlet and or celebrity can actually take this fugly cunt seriously.. Just look at her… Half shaved head, her crotch fruit decked out in the latest hoodbooger fashions.. Multiple picks of her holding up overpriced hard ciders. Maybe if she stopped buying high end hard ciders she could afford to get her kid some lunch meat at the deli.

  • Cheddah
    December 28, 2019 at 10:51 am

    I’ve always thought that California was one of the top 3 states to live in. It’s a beautiful state with awesome weather and plenty to do..
    Unfortunately for the last 20 years or more it’s been corroding from within with many problems (we all know) thanks to dirty corrupt democrats in that state and lunatic ultra liberals like this cunt here.. Shame.
    Makes me want to listen to the great song “AEnima” by TOOL, which a song that highlights all the fucked up shit wrong with LA County and CA and hopes for a series of natural disasters that will wash everything away.. Beautiful song.

    • george costanza
      The angry taint
      December 28, 2019 at 3:37 pm

      Learn to swim!

  • Judge dread
    December 28, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Her breath is worse than Nancy Pelosi’s whiskey and vomit breath. It’s time to bring back the horse whipping.

  • grapids
    December 28, 2019 at 10:06 am

    30 of the past consecutive “articles” have been authored / published by none other than UTB himself.
    Mainly recycled shit, same names, same issues, different day.
    Where are all of your contributors? Where’s Bristol, the overweight pancake makeup stoolie rat queen? Where’s SouthShore? Were you promising them a cut of the revenue and didn’t come through (just sayin’, I may have heard that on the streets, maybe not).
    No more Josh exposes? Too many lawyers contacting you? Are you expecting another day in court with him?
    It was fun for a while there MR. TB, but your pasty white faced manlet body persona has run it’s course.
    See you soon!

    • dowen0895
      Dick Scratcher
      December 28, 2019 at 10:31 am

      Fuck off, Orga, you smelly, unwashed cunt.

    • Jenny T
      December 28, 2019 at 10:47 am

      Holy FUCK Orga!! Are you STILL pissed about Turtleboy showing everyone what a piece of ginger shit you are?? GET A FUCKING JOB, LOSER!! GET A LIFE!! Stop living off the government and trolling Turtleboy!! Every time you post the same old shit, it only proves what Turtleboy said about you MORE!! LOOOOOOSER!!

  • Two Patch Crappy Jack
    December 28, 2019 at 10:03 am

    Not even at my drunkest. I bet her breath smells worse than her snapper.

  • Walter " Hollywood" Bird
    December 28, 2019 at 9:44 am

    Maybe me and Clive will hitchhike out to California and we will pull a train fuck on baby mama. I got friends all over California living and shitting on the sidewalks of San Francisco. And we all vote Democrat so we can do anything we want. And they got some great meth. Choo Choo

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    December 28, 2019 at 9:39 am

    Tittoos. Enough said.

    • Hugh Mungous
      December 28, 2019 at 10:24 am

      EXACTLY! I’m just surprised she doesn’t have a flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat

  • McElroy
    December 28, 2019 at 9:34 am

    Hey Kylie,
    The best way to #endlunchdebt is to pay for your kid’s fucking lunch. The people that work are sick of paying for the people that don’t!

  • Shane Hoban, rapper. Quincy, MA
    December 28, 2019 at 9:29 am

    Don’t almost ALL schools offer free lunch (and even reduced lunch prices in some cases) to people who can prove low income?? How or why is this even an issue?
    I can understand it sucks to have a lunch debt from school, but if your child is not on the free lunch program then that means you make enough money to afford paying. Also, why can’t these parents be parents and pack a lunch IF it may be the case that some schools don’t offer free lunch?

  • Lock n' Load
    December 28, 2019 at 9:18 am

    The only way these douchebags learn is a round to the back of the head.

    • Judge dread
      December 28, 2019 at 10:47 am

      Technically they don’t learn- but others will fall in line pretty fucking fast.

  • Marcus
    December 28, 2019 at 9:17 am

    Why doesn’t her lawn jockey son just steal his lunch like any other self respecting spade would do

    • Startled Pancake
      December 28, 2019 at 6:47 pm

      “Cement Yard N i g g e r” is what Daniel Carver used to say, not Lawn Jockeys.

      So I was a bit confused, since I knew the former.

  • dowen0895
    Dick Scratcher
    December 28, 2019 at 9:16 am

    277 followers on Twitter?

    With an army like that behind her Uncle Turtleboy must be shitting himself!

    This vapid cunt has found herself a fraudulent spotlight.

    Lunch shaming? Fuck right off, Kylie and make me a fucking sandwich.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    December 28, 2019 at 8:51 am

    It looks like the Turtleboy has met his match! #endlunchdebt

    • A Responsible Parent
      December 28, 2019 at 10:24 am

      Doubtful! You’re about to get educated!! #payforyourlunch #noexcuses #deadbeatparents #dontpoketheTURTLE

      • murdochpatsymcreynolds
        December 28, 2019 at 10:42 am

        You are a racist! The child is bi-racial! How dare you! End Lunch Debt Now! #endlunchdebt #hatehasnohomehere.

  • Dick GoZinya
    December 28, 2019 at 7:29 am

    She’s holding the beer up to hide her armpit hair…

  • Hate Dindus
    December 28, 2019 at 7:29 am

    Didn’t realize her kid was mixed race but holy shit does it make sense. Fucking jungle ape escaped from the zoo.

  • Renfro
    December 28, 2019 at 7:18 am

    What a fat ugly cunt
    Looks like a prison tattoo on her fat fits

    She belongs in a shit hole like California

  • Bird for 3
    December 28, 2019 at 2:45 am

    She should contact Seth McFarlane

  • Deval Patricks Scrotum
    December 28, 2019 at 2:41 am

    Half shaved noggin-
    Horrid tattoos-
    Karl Malden nose-
    Poor drunken duck lip attempt-
    The best the left has to offer.

    What a cunt!

    • Judge dread
      December 28, 2019 at 10:56 am

      I don’t understand why under 30 Mel’s go out of their way to make themselves look as disgusting as possible…

      Cool hand Luke / GnR

      “What we got here is failure to communicate; some people you just can’t reach. If that’s the way they want it that’s the way they’ll get it.”

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