A lot of you fine people have donated to Turtleboy over the last two years, and because of people like you the blog is still here. In the last 24 hours a bunch of people have posted on our Facebook and YouTube, accusing me of pocketing cash and living large.
Tonight on the Live Show I’m gonna be doing a segment called “Turtleboy confessions.” I plan on showing you people EVERYTHING you want to see about my business and how it functions. A lot of long time turtle riding supporters are currently up my ass, asking me questions in bad faith about vacations I’ve taken, where money went, and who I have and haven’t given money to. I don’t have to show anyone shit, but I’m gonna anyway because my reputation is EVERYTHING. Here’s a quick preview.
I’m currently being sued by 6 people – Jamie Genereux, Jennifer Azadnia, Failure Swift, Marc Aldana, Anthony Branche, and Rian Waters appeal of his previous defeat. The only way that’s free is the Failure Swift one because I lucked out and the Rhode Island ACLU took up my case, and I can’t thank them enough for that. The most expensive lawsuit has been the Azadnia one because it’s in eastern MA where lawyers are more expensive, and she’s very wealthy and can afford an aggressive attorney who has done everything in his power to drive up my legal fees. I’m being represented by very capable litigation attorneys out of Braintree from the Marcus, Errico, Emmer & Brooks firm. The following is an accounting of services I’ve been invoiced for by them.
First was the $5,000 retainers.
That was used up pretty quickly and for June, July, and August I owed another $8,892.
Total – $13,892.
September was only $137.
Total – $14,029.
October was $752.
Total – $14,781.
November was $4,576.
Total – $19,357.
December was $2,800, including a $32 for a 5 minute phone call.
Total – $22,157.
January’s invoice was $2,145.
Total so far = $24,302.
KC Law in Westfield (Rian Waters case) luckily is cheaper. I paid him $3,145 to help me out with that case.
Total = $27,447.
For the Generuex case I paid $2,000 to have an attorney file a motion to dismiss for me in Middlesex Superior Court.
Total – $29,447.
In December I paid another attorney $250 for an hour long meeting about how I can restructure the business to limit my legal fees.
Total – $29,697.
Margaret Melican represented me in the Gaffney case pro bono and did a great job. The only thing I had to pay for with that was the transcript of the hilarious deposition I did.
Total – $30,297. Although the transcript alone was worth the $600.
If our motion for summary judgement in the Azadnia case fails and we have to go to trial it will get much more expensive. If the Generuex motion to dismiss fails it will get much more expensive. Rian Waters is appealing and I’ll have to pay for that again. And this isn’t even counting the Aldana and and Branche lawsuits.
I don’t spend a lot of money on personal shit. I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes or pants since 2018.
I drive a 2010 Honda CRV with 130,000 miles with the payments paid off.
I was responsible and went to state school so I paid off my loans a while back after doubling them up every month to avoid interest.
We don’t go out to dinner much, but when I do I tip 25%. I apologize if you think this is too much, and next time I’ll make sure it’s OK with everyone who’s demanding an accounting of where donated money went.
I don’t drink alcohol except on Super Bowl Sunday, or the rare time I can get away from my family and work responsibilities and hang out with friends.
We shop at Market Basket and Walmart, and I get Great Value Brand whenever possible.
I set aside $100 a month for each of my crotch fruits in case they wanna got to college when they’re older.
I travel to see the Patriots once a year because I love sportball and God loves us more. We tend to pick cheap cities with cheap game tickets like Cincinnati and Jacksonville, and shop around for the cheapest flight and tickets.
My wife makes a teachers salary, so she makes more than me. I gave up a teacher’s salary to do this and I don’t regret it at all because what I do is very fulfilling.
Every dollar we get from donations goes back into the blog. I then pay myself enough money (by transferring money from business to checking account) to cover my mortgage and bills. We live in a house that cost $395,000. The concept of savings at this point is foreign to me.
I go on one family vacation a year and I won’t apologize for that. If I told my wife that I had to stay home while she and the kids went somewhere because I’m being sued by 6 assholes, then she’d tell me to pick one – family or blog. And I’d choose family. So when you donate to Turtleboy, that’s what you’re donating to – the continued existence of the blog.
The Boston Globe has a Paywall to read their content. Barstool Sports doesn’t let you comment or get certain content unless you pay for Barstool Gold. We don’t have anything like that. Turtleboy has always been free and always will be, but if you think it’s something worth keeping alive you’re more than welcome to donate. If not, that’s cool too.
I love you all and I’ll see you tonight for Turtleboy Confessions on the Live show.
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