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  • Forehead McGee Arrested For Breaking Into Cars Calls Turtleboy Trashy, Says Westfield Students Should Fear White Guys In Trenchcoats Due To Proximity To Newtown

    Forehead McGee Arrested For Breaking Into Cars Calls Turtleboy Trashy, Says Westfield Students Should Fear White Guys In Trenchcoats Due To Proximity To Newtown

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    It’s fun to search for Turtleboy on Facebook to see what comes up sometimes. Like this gem we found yesterday:

    First of all, it’s not reverse racism. It’s just racism. You can’t point to a guy who is minding his own business, walking around campus, and then assume he’s gonna kill everyone because he’s white and wearing a trenchcoat.

    Secondly, if this makes you “nervous” then you have no business living on your own.

    Thirdly, being scared of a white guy in a trenchcoat because you live within a 50 mile radius of a school shooting that happened five years ago, is laugh out loud funny. You can’t make up this sort of triggering. I live 50 miles from the finish line of the Boston Marathon, so I guess I should shit my pants every time I see someone jogging past my house.

    Fourthly, FACKS:

    Not sure if a 75 mile radius is sufficient to prevent triggering. I’ll have to consult with my gender studies professor once she’s back from protesting.

    Fifthly, the fact that someone like this wouldn’t like Turtleboy:

    Is the least surprising news ever.

    Sixthly, if every white guy in a trenchcoat is Adam Lanza, then…….

    I guess the next time people see Derrick on campus at Westfield State they should call the FBI.

    Seventhly, if you’re gonna throw stones at Turtleboy, try to make sure you don’t have a bunch of Google trophies in your cabinet. Derrick’s real name is Derrick Shattuck, and he was arrested three years ago in Longmeadow while breaking into people’s cars:

    A Chicopee man is facing charges in Longmeadow after he was allegedly caught breaking into vehicles early Saturday morning. Derrick ShattuckDerrick Shattuck, 20, of Chicopee, 

    According to Longmeadow police, a Silver Birch road resident called 911 around 1:15 a.m. to report two men dressed in black prowling around their property. A short time later, a Captain Road resident reported that his car had been broken into. Police officers responded to the area and reported finding a man later identified as 20-year-old Chicopee resident Derrick Shattuck with gloves and a flashlight, in a parked car on Viscount Road. Police say inside the car were several items Shattuck allegedly couldn’t explain, including a TV, golf club set, laptop computer and GPS system.

    Police say a subsequent investigation revealed the items all came from unlocked cars in Longmeadow which were later reported burglarized. Shattuck was charged with six counts of breaking an entering a motor vehicle at night and felony receiving stolen property worth more than $250.

    Yup. The guy who calls Turtleboy “trashy” breaks into other people’s cars in his free time.

    This chud right here is the face of the “I hate Turtleboy” crowd. A criminal. A loser. A social justice warrior. A race baiter. An easily triggered 23 year old with no prospects for the future. A hypocrite.

    This is why we exist at Turtleboy Sports. To offend people like this, who have gotten away with bullshit for way, way too long.

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    1. Ann Flaherty

      So Derrick from Chicopee: I would like to clarify. TB’s writing is childish (hate the made up names) while simultaneously sophisticated. TB always hits the nail on the head in analysis. You are wrong about the spelling errors. I’ve never seen one.

      Glad I don’t live within 50 miles of Chicopee. I sometimes forget to lock my car.

      1. chrissy

        it’s not childish

        if you mean just the names then i understand
        some are spectacular, however 😀

        it’s not easy to come up with all those so often so quickly so some are bound to fizzle

        but his writing style is great, he does what all great writers do, minimizes fluff
        (except the headlines and made up names and FB screenshots which play as a maniacal contrast ofc)
        and just say what you fuckin mean, just what’s on your mind, not more, not less

        similar to one of my most beloved writers, Blake Schwarzenbach, a punk rock icon with NYU degree in English Lit and college prof with bare bones gems who once penned the finest love song lyrics of all time…

        “We stood in your room and laughed out loud.

        Suddenly the laughter died
        and we were caught in an eye to eye.

        We sat on the floor and did we sit close.

        I could smell your thoughts and thought.
        Do you want to touch a lot like me?
        Too scared to say a thing.

        I left your house and kicked myself.
        I put those feelings on a shelf to die.
        I guess I’m not a gambling type
        but think of what the two of us had lost.

        I needed some time to think it out.

        7-Eleven parking lot.

        A toothless woman turned and stopped.

        I gave her a dime and a Chesterfield.

        She leaned down and kissed my cheek.

        I was scared but it felt sweet.

        Felt so sweet.

        She asked me if I had a name.
        I told her I was glued up on some chick.

        We sat and smoked against the wall.
        Drank a beer, felt the chill of fall.

        I took my car and drove it down the hill by your house.

        …I drove so fast.

        The wind it couldn’t cool me down,
        so I turned it around and came back up.

        You were waiting on your step,

        steam showing off your breath and

        water in your eyes.

        We pulled each other into one,
        parkas clinging on the lawn
        and kissed right there.

        Said all my chicks they smoke these things and handed you a

        Chesterfield King.

        Held your hand and watched TV

        …….and traced the little lines along your palm.”

        and the finest hate song as well..

        1. chrissy

          forgot to paste the hate song but both the love and hate song have extremely minimalistic style so they pack much punch….


          I went to a party last night.

          What sick things I saw.

          Makeout sessions and bicycle messengers,

          Punks and art school dropouts.

          I ran into this guy I knew

          But hadn’t seen in years.

          We went into the neon kitchen and stole a couple beers.

          He said his girl had dumped him
          But there was another guy.

          He said that he still liked her.
          All I could say was,

          “Why, why, oh why, oh why,
          Why is it always like this?

          Either you’re too mean, or you’re too nice.”
          He said, “I even cooked her breakfast.”

          So we went into the living room.

          Someone was blasting Zeppelin.

          It sounded good.

          I felt ashamed.

          I knew every drum fill.

          Anyway, there she sat,
          Totally kissing this guy.

          They looked good, I mean like in love.
          Then I remembered my friend.

          He said, “How could you do this?
          You said that you needed your space.

          He’s wearing the shirt that I gave you.”

          Then she said, “Why, why, oh why, oh why,
          Why are you always like this?

          If I’m having fun then it’s breaking your heart.
          Besides, you said I could have it.”

          Then the cops showed up.”



    3. Carl

      That’s not a forehead. That’s a FIVEhead.

    4. Nurse Ratchet

      Looks like Freddie forehead is a human/alien hybrid. Either that or he got his head stuck in a doe stretching machine.

    5. The Rant Queen

      “I live 50 miles from the finish line of the Boston Marathon, so I guess I should shit my pants every time I see someone jogging past my house.” I fucking LOVE that sentence & will probably use it the next time a SJNazi argues w/ shit like that.

      Also, WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT GUY’S FAYCE?? It’s not just long forehead, it’s literally long skull. Is his skull made of silly putty and someone pulled it into a long, skinny oblong? Jesus titty fucking Christ.

      Figures he would use the “misspellings in the blogs” attack, considering shits like him have nothing else to use against this site lol. Pathetic poser. No, sorry, pathetic, THIEVING poser. Go cry in your safe space while sucking your mommy’s titty, whine more about having to live in a world where ppl dont always see things your way. I have a solution for you. It involves a very high cliff and gravity.

    6. Publius

      Derrick has just triggered my PTSD. One scary dude. Dude right?

    7. Chris

      You want some cream for that burn, kid?

    8. Justice for All

      Oh my goodness….he looks JUST like Beavis. Uncanny!

    9. Justice for All

      NO NO NO…Not Beavis. MAX HEADROOM! lol From the 80s. Google it.

    10. 829

      So let me get this right, a white male in a long coat, walking around in broad day light on a college campus within 100 miles of Newtown is a legitimate cause for concern?
      So says the scrotum cheeked jizz magician, who creeps around like OJ on South Bundy Drive, dressed like Doc Holiday, stealing shit from hard working people in the middle of the night?
      I guess it makes perfect sense in a world where Senator Al Franken is one of our moral compasses.

    11. Screwed

      This is our next generation. Wtf! Fake race crimes to incite a race war, boys using the girls room because they decided they didn’t want their penis any longer. Riots when someone ends up dead for breaking the law and endangering innocent ppl. Thankfully their are still some that are not brainwashed into playing the victim or looking for a reason to play the victim, I guess I should say. God help us all. We are screwed!!!

    12. keyona

      When the lovely derrick spits some truth and the white trash, white power gang gang gang, get their panties in a twist. Grow up people. Turtle fuckboi I have never seen you ever write a actual informational news article. All you do is name call and call people out. Get a life and Stop being a petty loser.

      1. lives in Webster

        keyona, nobody likes you…..Sorry!

    13. JoeMomma

      I gotta get me a trench coat and head off to a few snowflake colleges. I got some triggering to do……..

    14. lives in Webster

      You gotta admit, at least he can carry a sentence with limited grammar errors…better than most of us!

    15. Flat Head

      Never trust a squinty eyed flat head… he should get a flat-top haircut.

    16. jamesso33

      When a man gets more feminine with age there’s a good chance he has too much soy in his diet. Just saying…

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