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Ah, the NHL offseason, where players hit the links and use their nether regions as tees for golf balls. Wait, what?

Dallas Stars young star Tyler Seguin did just that recently at The Fourth Period’s charity golf tournament wherein he bravely let a Stars fan tee up off his junk with the only protection being a standard athletic cup. BALLSY!

And the man didn’t hold anything back on the swing, either. Seguin remarked that it tickled but we imagine his life was probably flashing before his eyes.

Seguin uploaded the video on his Instagram (same as the video above just inverted) with the following description. We’re not sure if this helped with the raised blood pressure of the Stars’ front office.

Didn’t think this would be happening at my first golf tourny. Thank god he was a pro. Awesome day big shoutout to the 150+ people that came #tfpclassic #charity #golf #nhl

I’m kind of torn on Tyler Seguin. On the one hand he’s obviously a moron. Seems like he prefers putting selfies of his conquests on Instagram and doing shit like this rather than actually winning hockey games. Look, I’m not gonna hate on him for this stunt because he’s only 22 years old and I would almost definitely have allowed someone to shoot a golf ball off of my junk after a night out at Leitrims.

But at the same time, is this kid ever gonna win? The Boston media establishment is adamant that the Dallas Stars got the better of that deal. They went from 16th to 21st in points. Seguin flourished in the new system, scoring 37 goals and brining them back to the playoffs for the first time in forever.

Meanwhile the Bruins had no one who could put the puck in the net against Montreal. No one they could count on as their go to guy when they needed a goal. The Bruins are a team filled with very good, but not great players. This only gets you so far if Zdeno Chara continues to decline and Tuukka Rask doesn’t stand on his head.

Everyone’s all fired up pointing to the fact that we gave away a guy who has a good shot at being an NHL superstar for a bunch of guys who are your classic good but not great players. The rhetoric is as follows….

“See, Seguin scored 84 points this year, I told you we should’ve hung on to him.”

Calm down fuck boi. He averaged 19:29 ice time per game this year. His last full season in Boston he scored 67 points while averaging 16:56 ice time per game. Basically the same exact average goals per minutes on the ice.

But does anyone remember how terrible he was in the playoffs? In the 2013 Stanley Cup run he scored on 1 of his 70 shots. I don’t wanna hear about puck luck. That sucks. Period.

The moral of the story is that in Boston he would never be a stat junky, but he would be on a guaranteed playoff team year in and year out, with the best coaching. But that’s not what Seguin wants right now. He wants to stuff the stat sheet and have people shoot golf balls off his dick. So good riddance and have fun in Dallas fuck boi.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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