George Carpenter Made The Judge Clear The Courtroom Today Because Of Turtleboy Sports Blog

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Today was the big showdown at the Worcester Courthouse – Tonya Carpenter vs. George Caprenter. George is using his wife’s freak accident at Fenway Park last month, in which she was hit in the face with a broken bat, as an excuse to take full custody of their seven year old kid. Here’s our writeup on it if you need to get caught up.

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We sent a source down there to cover the case and see how it went. Unfortunately though, George’s lawyer, Jennifer Melia, used the Turtleboy blog as a grounds to clear the courtroom. Ya got that? Turtleboy has already been perceived as a threat to the legislative and executive branches of the Worcester government. Now we’ve officially affected policy in the judicial branch as well. Remind me again how this blog doesn’t have any influence.

The grounds for clearing the court today was that the “local media coverage, including blogs,” is adversely affecting his seven year old child. Because apparently George wants us to believe that his child rides the turtle on a daily basis. Because I’m sure 7 year olds everywhere wanna keep up to date about the latest hippie shenanigans and pregnant women smoking at the Brockton Fair.

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The problem with what happened in court today, is that it’s a blatant violation of the Constitution:

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But then again this is Massachusetts, where the lone requirement for becoming a judge is having a pulse. It gets better though. George is blaming his ex-wife Tonya for causing this media frenzy, a woman who has been through a traumatic event and is having her kid ripped away from her.

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For the record, no one at Turtleboy has ever spoken with Tonya Carpenter (the defendant). We just pointed out what was blatantly obvious to everyone else – using a traumatic event like this to take a kid away from his mother is a dick move.

Our source saw Tonya Carpenter in court today. She’s fine. Her face appears healed and she’s able to walk around. If you saw this woman there is no possible way you could say, “she’s not capable of caring for her kid and is better off with her Dad,” as many of the men’s rights activists claimed was such in the comments section last week.

For the record, we wanted to clear up a misconception about our story last week. OF COURSE men are just as capable of being great parents as women. OF COURSE women are capable of being shitty parents as well. But the bottom line is that when a divorce happens, only one of the parties can get custody.


I saw a couple genius commenters who suggested that the kid alternate nights at the different homes. What planet are you people living on that you think it’s healthy to do that to a child? Kids need a home. They need a room. They need a neighborhood and they need friends. What if the Dad lives Princeton and Mom lives in Paxton? Is he supposed to go to Thomas Prince on Tuesdays and Thursdays and Paxton Center School on Monday-Wednesday-Friday? Yea, that sounds like a normal way to grow up.

So yea, one person gets full custody and the other gets visitation. That’s how divorces work. It’s not pretty, but there’s no other alternative that best fits the interest of the child. Moms hold the children in their belly for nine months, evacuate them from their love canal, and empty lukewarm milk from their bosoms down the child’s gullet. This creates a bond that as a man we have no shot at competing with.

Welcome to life as a mammal. That’s what we ultimately are at the end of the day – mammals. Last week on our Tuesday’s with Turtleboy show a caller got all fired up with Radio Turtleboy because he said lots of mammals have the dads at the sole caretaker of the children. Radio Turtleboy asked him to name one species, and he couldn’t do it. That’s because when you turn on Nat Geo and watch a pack of wild African dogs trying to eat a baby impala, it’s not the dad who turns into a complete psychopath and defends the baby at all costs. It’s the mom. Dad has already skipped town and is fighting some other male impala for the right to hump 20 more impalas.

Anyway, we interviewed an anonymous legal expert about what happened today, and here is what she had to say:

When you’re looking to close a hearing to the public (that is otherwise supposed to be public and not protected by statute), you have to follow a certain procedure. That includes giving email notice to Associated Press. If you don’t do that, the judge doesn’t have the right to close the proceeding. I didn’t see any confirmation that this procedure was followed. But if the procedure is followed, any news media could object to closing the proceeding. Because they have rights as press, as well as citizen rights to witness a court proceeding. The whole reason we have this right is to protect people from kangaroo courts or Exchequer Court, which before the Revolution, held secret trials. Bad things happen behind closed doors, then and now.

Boom. Illegal.

The bottom line is that if George Carpenter is REALLY worried about his kid being adversely affected by the media, then he should stop doing things that are newsworthy. And trying to take a kid away from someone whose story made national news for getting hit in the face with a bat at Fenway Park, is obviously newsworthy. If he REALLY wants to put what is in his child’s best interest first, then all he has to do is drop this stupid case.

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12 Comment(s)
  • Jesús Montalvo
    July 14, 2015 at 7:28 am

    George is making a move to get what he perceives as his share of the payoff that he expects Tanya is going to get eventually from the Red Sox or MLB.

    • coffeemate
      July 14, 2015 at 11:50 am

      Not my business. I don’t really dig this post :/

    • F@@k George!
      July 15, 2015 at 8:08 am

      She’s not getting anything from the sox. The ticket stub clearly states enter at your own risk. George is just a super POS! I’ve known him for a long time and he’s a total scumbag!

  • BobnMic
    July 13, 2015 at 10:17 pm



    June 7, 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Hey guys I’d like to do a shout out for Tonya Carpenter. She is the girl ( 44 year old woman with her son and a friend ) that got seriously injured while attending a Red Sox game last Friday night at Fenway Park. Tonya Carpenter was struck in the head by Oakland player Brett Lawrie’s bat as she sat near the field between home plate and the third base dugout. She got hit in the head with a broken jagged bat and she immediately bleed profusely. Tonya Carpenter is local. She is from Paxton. Currently her condition is still considered serious. Thoughts and prayers for Tonya Carpenter and her family. God bless her.

  • bill
    July 13, 2015 at 7:57 pm

    You clowns have no clue you haven’t talked to either of the parents yet you have all the answers right. Well I do know George I have known him for over 30 years I know what kind of person he is and he is only doing this for the well being of his son not to do anything to harm her. Your giving opinions as facts yet they are not. Just remember opinions are like assholes everyone has one but no one wants to hear them.

  • hhehehe
    July 13, 2015 at 7:28 pm

    had to unfollow all of the the T&G puppies today, journalism is clearly not their forte.

    “Lindsay Corcoran ‏@Lacorc 25m25 minutes ago

    Wanda Alvarado Eaton says Turtleboy Sports blog needs to be addressed. ‘Its inappropriate and ultimately a hate crime.'”


    • Jack Mehoff
      July 13, 2015 at 8:45 pm

      Lindsay works for Masslive, not the T&G. Then again, I know facts aren’t the strong suit amongst this group.

  • RSoxGuy
    July 13, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Fucking coward

  • Maggie the Cat
    July 13, 2015 at 3:42 pm

    George Carpenter doesn’t realize that kids today can find anything online, so there’s no way to keep his son from finding out everything that’s going on, if not now then in the future.

    Carpenter’s also a fool to think he can hide from the world. Lots of people know him and know where he lives. He can’t hide forever. b

  • Common Sense Isn't So Common
    July 13, 2015 at 2:40 pm

    This guy has all the symptoms of a “bully” including the one where he runs and hides and acts like a complete “pussy” when he’s confronted…he’ll eventually pay dearly for being an asshole!!!

  • JoeMomma
    July 13, 2015 at 2:20 pm

    TB…to be a judge in Massachusetts you need a pulse AND a checkbook. Without the campaign “contributions” your just another ambulance chaser.

  • Marie-Louise Burkle
    July 13, 2015 at 2:09 pm

    Narcissistic douchnozzle!! Keep us posted. SOme of us are dying to see Karma knock down his door!!

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