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Stumbled across a video today of the most Grafton Hill person who has ever lived. It’s basically an oratory of growing up ghetto in Worcester in the 90’s as told by someone who is so Worcester it hurts:

So many amazing quotes, starting with the tall kid who couldn’t dunk:

“I remember we almost fucked up that big Andy dude, he was like 9 feet tall and he couldn’t even dunk. He fucking sucked. I mean, how are 7 foot 3 and you can’t even dunk? The rims only fucking 10 feet tall. You 7-3 and can’t dunk you shouldn’t play basketball. Simple.”

I’m 99% sure I know who he’s talking about. North had a really tall kid named Andy who couldn’t dunk, but I’m pretty sure he was a good student and went on to do well for himself. But he couldn’t dunk even though he was 9 feet tall, or 7’3″, same thing. And that’s all that matters to Worcester kids from the 90’s.

I love how the guy could mention one thing and then just go on a never ending tangent about it:

“They used to call me Jersey cuz all I rocked was jerseys. Basketball jerseys, baseball jersey, hockey jerseys in the winter, football jerseys. I remember when the mall had the starter store and they had the reversible jerseys….for like, buy one get one free or some shit. I think I had like, fucking, 30 reversible jerseys. We always switched – me, butter, and Joey used to switch cuz J.R. bought six different jerseys, butter bought six different jerseys, we all switched off.”

The 90’s Worcester name dropping was spectacular. It’s true, ask any Worcester kid from the 90’s about his high school experience and they’ll start dropping names like this and reminiscing about what they wore to school. Worcester people remember EVERYTHING.

“We thought we was the shit back then, selling nicks and dimes in the park to little kids and shit. Now I look back at what we did, and I know we had to do what we had to do to survive and I had to help my Moms out.”

Gotta do what you gotta do. Little kids need weed too.

“Back in the day you get a four bedroom for 600. Not no more.”

Thanks Obama.

This part was great too:

“Back in the day…(hears siren, looks around)….oh shit I thought I was going to jail. (hocks gigantic lugey and rips cigarette butt)”

Any time a Worcester kid hears sirens their initial reaction is to turn their head and start running. Doesn’t matter if they’re doing anything wrong or illegal. The fact of the matter is that they’ve more than likely doing something illegal within the last 30 days and assume that it finally caught up to them at that moment. Run first, ask questions later. That’s the Worcester way.

“It’s a beautiful day. I’m sweatin like a whore in church.”

I feel like 95% of the people I know from Worcester use this analogy whenever it’s at least 65 degrees out.

This line right here should be trademarked:

“New York taught me how to be a hustler. Worcester taught me how to hustle.”

It’s like beautiful Worcester poetry.

And finally this was by far the best rant of the video:

“At least back then in the 90’s, everyone didn’t wanna be a rapper. I remember I was one of the only dudes in high school spitting during lunch and shit. I went to North, I know South had a lot of rappers. Junior, Chris, ya know, dudes like that. As far as I knew, I was the only one really doing anything at North besides, uh, Georgey and them. Can’t remember the fucking name of their band. My sister dated the fucking manager and I can’t even remember the name of the fucking band right now. Eddie, George, couple dudes. Like I said, shout out to 508.”

It’s so freaking true. Every hood rat in the Woo thinks they’re a rapper now. But back in the day rappers were hard to find and they only went to North and South. Georgey and them had sick beats in the lunch room. I can verify this. Although their “manager” was more than likely some kid from 6th period woodshop class with a bad Voke-stache.

Anyway, Jersey is the most Grafton Hill man these eyes have ever seen, and he has a new follower on Youtube.

P.S. The most Worcester thing about this guy is that he’s holding his camera vertically. Because people from Worcester evolve slowly like that.

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