Nudniks

Greg Bates Lawyers Up For Deformation Lawsuit, North Shore Eats Cult Followers Go Free My Boi, Hoodbooger Realtor Accuses Turtleboy Of Child Abuse

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like Turtleboy Sports Returns and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

Things have been heating up over on the North Shore Eats Facebook page today, and everyone’s buzzing about our NSE Greg Bates Part 1 blog. So naturally Greg Bates had to address the elephant in the room….

So he’s claiming that he can prove that donations have been made to the ARC foundation. And indeed they have. But as you will see later this week, there’s a lot missing or unaccounted for. And the answer he gave us simply is not sufficient. A normal person would immediately go and get receipts and say “BOOM. Roasted Turtleboy.” But Greg deals with a lot of cash for reasons we will explore later, so that’s gonna be a problem as well.

He also claims it’s now a “legal matter” and messaged us to let us know he has an attorney:

  1. This is not the first time he’s threatened someone with a Internet lawsuit.
  2. I’m sure Coleman and McDonald advised him to message us on Facebook and let us know about this.
  3. Thank God he didn’t hire Attorney Richard N. Vulva. That guy spanks the shit out of us in court.
  4. We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet, so they might wanna hold off on that for a minute.
  5. You can afford an attorney on retainer but you can’t afford to pay child support? OK.

Hopefully his Internet lawyers inform him about the difference between slander and libel:

Which no one except turtle riders seems to understand because we’ve had so many imaginary slander lawsuits thrown our way.

Nevertheless he’s playing the white knight and says he won’t let the “bullies” win:

Talk to me on Friday and let me know who you think the bully is then.

He has TONS of supporters:

 

Robert here says that Greg is his hero:

This is totally NOT a cult.

Anyone who believes us is of course a “Trumpster”

Because in 2018 if you read anything except CNN you are automatically a Trumpster.

Others have written it off due to the poor spelling and grammar:

Which at this point is our trademark, and we’ll never correct it because it’s too fun seeing people lose their shit over it.

This chick just wants to let you know that she works with intellectually disabled kids too:

Please give her a cookie. Or a gift card for cookies.

And of course the only people who would have a beef with a guy using a Facebook page to extort local businesses into advertising schemes must leave the group and hand over any gift cards they won:

Don’t worry Michelle, as you will see this week, many people who won gift cards never actually received them anyway.

You’ll notice that everything thus far on his page has been supportive of Greg Bates. Guess why?

Oh yea, the ol’ dirty deletes. Gotta love it.

Of course you could’ve figured that out when you see people like this having conversations with themselves, accusing a ghost of listening to a “hate page”

Newsflash – the second you refer to Turtleboy as “hate speech,” we’ve already won the argument.

Others are skeptical

Which is normal. You shouldn’t outright believe us yet. We haven’t shown you anything good yet. But does anyone really think that’s not coming down the tailpipe? If you think we didn’t do our homework then you don’t know Turtleboy.

Although when this woman asked Greg to clarify she was told that she was out of line for even inquiring by a lovely gentleman named Tony:

Tony is REALLY mad, but not nearly as mad as Chuck Vestal, who appears to be handing out addresses and phone numbers:

So scared!!

(Jim is one of us. Don’t blow his cover)

Craig here is really pushing for legal action….

You’re right Carig, libel is serious. VERY serious. Which is why we’re VERY careful before printing anything. You should know that Craig – you follow us on Twitter and retweet the turtle all the time. You DMd us right after the blog came out:

Of course when Shell Shocker called you out on it you ran away and hid:

Craig’s a new fan. He only recently jumped on board the turtle and doesn’t quite seem to grasp the legitimacy of what we do here. He thinks we get kicked off social media for being fake news:

When in reality we get kicked off because we said the word “cunt,” without referring to a member of the Trump family.

Funny he has such a problem with character assassination, since he’s doing it to anyone who shares the TB blogs:

Naughty Craig!!

Talk to us on Friday. If you come crawling back when the FACKS are revealed we’ll let you back on board.

My personal favorite critic was Bruno

 

Child abuse? That’s a new one. Actually Bruno, I’m a chick from Merrimack Valley, and a bunch of us collaborated on this story. But this line basically tells me everything we need to know about you:

“IDK all the details I’ve read about it. He’s in Worcester and I have friends out there.”

First of all, so scared by your Worcester friends. They sound grizzled.

Secondly, you’re accusing us of making shit up without doing research while admitting that you’re making shit up without doing research. Gee whiz, I wonder who your favorite basketball teams is….

I was gonna guess the Kansas City Pistons.

Bruno used to be a rapper

But he was just killing the game wayyy too much, so he needed a new venture in life. Naturally he took the lateral step to real estate:

Oh yea, when I go to sell my home I want this guy putting on the open house:

Definitely.

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow.

8 Comment(s)
  • Turtlehead
    June 20, 2018 at 12:26 pm

    Caplan is a dickbag. That loser trolls the Boston Herald page all day…. and this loser trolls the fuck out of him for doing it. He’s a little bitch with no balls to do anything to anyone

  • Screw PC
    June 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    You downvoting our comments, motherfuckers?

    Now we’re gonna show no fucking mercy. We’re gonna put that fat cunt on blast until he moves to Tijuana. Watch.

    • Rochambeau
      June 19, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      Probably some type of blue-checkmarked entitled drive-by. Unfortunately for them, turtle riders are judged by the substance of their comments and not their social standing within an echochamber.

  • Hughbo Mont
    June 19, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    LOL These clowns don’t realize that Part 1 was chumming the waters. Can’t wait till the hook gets set!

  • Real_Finn
    June 19, 2018 at 9:40 am

    Rich Butler,
    You’re not even qualified to be called a hack. You’re certainly not “data guy”. That honestly made me lol. Hard.
    You are a quasi-googler and pad your resume and Linked-in.That’s it.

    Trust me when I say, you have zero talent nor even the beginnings of a freshman dev ops guy.

    Get Fucked,
    Finn

  • Screw PC
    June 19, 2018 at 9:36 am

    Yeah, we’re a “hate page”, Greg.

    We hate Machivellian douche group admin scammers who fuck over charities for personal gain.

    Buckle up, fuckstick. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride. We already dug you a spot in our Internet graveyard.

  • whatevuh
    June 19, 2018 at 6:35 am

    Bruno, I wouldn’t buy a fucking doghouse from you, but good luck in your new career

  • Rochambeau
    June 19, 2018 at 12:18 am

    I think it’s funny that some of these people signal the political affiliation that they hate. It’s weird that this is commonplace now. Identity politics is turning things tribal. Linda Stark said, “Block the troublemakers. How sad. Are they Trumpsters?” Who the fuck cares. Linda? This is her litmus test to start bringing the hate? Nourallah Mohamed Hussein said, “Are they Suni?” No? Then what tribe? What?! That’s not my tribe!” Her first reaction is to completely silence this allegation against Greg Bates.

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron