Grown Man Who Hangs Out At Children’s Playground In Leicester Alone Is Surprised Parents Called Cops On Him For Being A Weirdo

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Jeremy Smith of Rochdale is unlike most adults. A normally developed adult would enjoy a brisk walk around their neighborhood or feeling the warm heat of sand in between their toes on a beautiful spring afternoon. Not Jeremy Smith. He enjoys being an “out of touch” with reality creeper.

There are so many things wrong with this post I almost don’t know where to start. Am I crazy? Please tell me there are other people who read this man’s post and immediately thought he was an absolute fucking weirdo hanging out at a park where kids are present………..WITHOUT HIS OWN KIDS!! That’s like going to chuck-e-cheese without kids and saying you’re only there for the pizza. LIES!

I found a picture of his car:

Hahahaha… Joking…. his automobile is slightly different. There are no windows on the back door of his van… There is no way to escape or see the world you once knew before you were lured in by bubble yum and pink starburst (fuck the yellow kind).

So much misplaced anger. He was upset at the Police for questioning his presence at a park without having kids with him. He was also upset they asked if he had been drinking. Hmm… That’s an odd question to ask someone randomly. He either smelled of alcohol, or he has a history of being a drunk in his town.

Stop the presses! He’s 87 days clean and makes references about wanting to “help the children” but sadly he deleted those comments before I had a chance to screenshot! Yes, because a man who just started helping himself is in a position to help children, the most delicate members of society.

He also runs something called “Leicester Rocks” and I thought that perhaps he really might be more important to his community than I thought he was. Then I went to the youtube machine and watched THIS video and realized I just watched one of the most boring interviews ever.

I must say, I like the logic behind Leicester Rocks, I just wish it wasn’t being run by someone who enjoys attention and a pat on the back for doing what everyone should do – be a part of their community. Don’t get me wrong, I commend him for staying clean, but being clean for only 87 days doesn’t mean you have the ability to help people, you’re still fresh off the wagon. Congrats, but let’s be more reasonable here. I convinced myself that drinking lots of wine last night on a Tuesday was normal, so who am I to judge…. Swig away Jeremy! Come back to the dark side <3

He also likes to brag about being “famous” because everything is about him, hence the “me me, why me” complaint about being at a park alone.

Oh give me a break guy…

He’s upset that someone called the police. Yeah, because being a concerned parent is more important than how a Cat In The Hat T-Shirt wearing adult feels. He also thinks they called because he’s wearing said shirt:

What doesn’t he understand? They called because he may as well be handing out lollipops and free juice boxes with the straws already inserted. Nothing better than tampered juice for the kids.

He’s a normal looking guy…

I love goatees, I’m a sucker for them. It exemplifies a man’s man… I just don’t like them on Jeremy. Who could resist his “You will never see your family again” smile or his “I have empty jars in my basement labeled with your body parts” eyes? What a dreamer! Almost as gorgeous as Ryan Gosling… ALMOST (I know my ladies reading this are touching their boobs right now… Don’t lie… You loved Ryan in the Notebook!). I know the men reading are now searching for him in Google just out of curiosity…bwuhaha!

Anyhow, when normal people arrived who know walking around a park childless in a T-shirt that attracts children is not normal behavior, I felt safe again. It’s as if I was glad there were normal people in this world:

He a grown man who goes to the swings 4 times a week. That’s normal. He’s a regular………at the kid’s swingset…..sounds even more trustworthy now. He also doesn’t like being harassed by police. Guess what? They were just doing their jobs because you are in denial about how out of the ordinary it is to be at a park alone childless. I feel like a broken record here.

Then of course there are other weird people who agree with Jeremy. They are the type of people to trust everyone and they never learn their lesson. There is no way a normal person does these types of things. You may as well rent a bouncy house and lure the neighborhood kids in with Fudge Pops and bubbles. It’s just not normal behavior.

Here is 7 facts about Jeremy that we should all learn:

Anyone want Jeremy to push you on a swing? He promises to push you without touching your bum.

Anyhow, Jeremy you’re weird for doing what you did. No if, ands, or butts about it. Anyone who disagrees needs to meet up with the famous Chris Hansen

Yeah take a seat. Just don’t use Jeremy’s thighs as a cushion, that’s not a knife in his pocket, he’s just really happy to see you.

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