Turtleboy Investigates

In The Name Of Transparency Here’s My Separation Agreement From Teaching In Which They Agreed To Pay Me Not To Sue Them 


One of the things the butthurt patrol likes to throw back at Turtleboy is “muh sexual harassment.” Basically they make the allegation that I was fired from Shepherd Hill for either sexually harassing a girl at a Bills game, or a student, or a teacher, or whatever. They just make it up as the go along. But because I’m so big into transparency and found my separation agreement with the Dudley-Charlton Regional School District while cleaning my closet the other day, I figured I might as well publish it. Basically the district agreed to pay me off and in return I agreed not to sue them for the way they mismanaged the publication of a fake news article from a drunken Buffalonian (which no longer exists because the blogger was sued for libel and forced to take down his site).

Newsflash – employers don’t pay employees large sums of cash to not sue them, agree to not contest unemployment, and even offer to have the superintendent write a letter of recommendation so you get a teaching job somewhere else (#6) if you’ve done something wrong. The district’s lawyers knew that a MTA lawyer would eat them up if they pursued any sort of punishment, and I knew that I no longer wanted to teach and wanted to do Turtleboy instead, so it worked out well for both of us. They gave me a nest egg and the financial security to start my own business, and in return they got rid of a media headache and didn’t get sued in the process.

If you’re gonna accuse of something you better bring receipts, because you know damn well Turtleboy always does.


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68 Comment(s)
  • Nancy Grace
    June 10, 2020 at 9:07 am

    “In the name of transparency” … We’d like to see *all* the paperwork related to the incident which led to your dismissal.

  • Safe than sorry
    June 7, 2020 at 5:48 pm

    You just look like a pedojew lol.

  • Samesies!
    June 6, 2020 at 3:15 pm

    I signed pretty much the same exact form when I got laid off. Got an extra $25k to agree to not sue my old company (I had absolutely zero reason to sue them). I think these are very common, bub.

    • Betty Ford
      June 7, 2020 at 8:38 am

      They are now, not as common a few years back. Also if the school/business thought they had a solid case against him, they definitely wouldn’t have done it, media circus and all. At the end of the day muni’s dont want to give up their money, even if it is other people’s money.

  • mearanerin
    June 6, 2020 at 9:40 am

    I just came for the comments and I’m cracking up. You look so god damn stupid. Looks like your not as important/perfect as you say you are. You hit on someone’s crotch fruit you sick fuck!

  • Level 3 offender Honda CRV
    June 6, 2020 at 8:24 am

    Some cocky wank with a Napoleon syndrome acts questionably, has allegations of sexual misconduct levied against him, is walked off the property by police……and becomes…..Uncle Turtle Boy who wears creepy clothing and resides in his never seen wife’s basement running a blog that is blatantly offensive. You can’t make this up. When your kids become of age they are going to look back and wonder.

    • Wondering...
      June 6, 2020 at 9:41 am

      Did Napoleon have a tiny dick too?

      • Huge balls but a Tiny Dick
        June 7, 2020 at 12:10 pm

        I’ll give it to TB, he does some ballzy shit putting scum bags on blast getting death threats all the time. IMO it’s only an matter of time before some ratchet does come down on him hard. Can you imagine him squeeling for the cops to help him as they slow walk their response to let him be taught a lesson of the jungle? Help, help, I am being assaulted! Free speech! My rights! I would love to see him get double penetrated in both of his nostrils by a giant black dick in one side and a Hispanic dick in the other. His enormous nose which is only slightly smaller than his ego could take 2 John Holmes dicks all day long. My rights!

  • Doug
    June 6, 2020 at 6:54 am

    TB, this is a bit like Sen. Warren taking a genetic test. The language in this irreverent, independent blog would (should?) get a teacher fired 100 times over. Anyone who uses the term “crotch friut” ought to have a skeleton or two in the closet, and strenuously denying one … eh, it’s weak. Maybe it’s true, but who cares?

    Which leads to the meat here. TB broke a story that rightly made the Lt. Gov. look hypocritical. At that became a narrative in the mainstream news cycle. That’s bigger than TB’s usual fare; it’s great! But political parties being what they are, TB might feel some pressure to step up its game. Keep up the independent reporting, there’s clearly a need.

  • Ben Dover
    June 6, 2020 at 4:50 am

    It appears to be a 5-figure settlement. I’m not Jeff Bezos, but that isn’t much, especially in light of the situation. If i was gonna walk away from the job under that cloud of suspicion, I’d make them feel it. Otherwise it does a disservice to others in that situation. I think you go to the mat on something like this.

    • 77 thousand and change!
      June 6, 2020 at 9:06 am

      Lousy digital paint job covering up the settlement value!

  • You are a filthy pig
    June 6, 2020 at 12:31 am

    And some of us have the misfortune of knowing you in real life. Miserable shit weasel.

    • The Filthy Pig is You
      June 6, 2020 at 12:16 pm

      Oh, you know him? How do you know him? Did you work with him, go to school with him, what? Not gonna take you at your word (obviously) so please provide us with your name and how you know him. You won’t because you don’t know him. You are probably some ratchet he did a story on and now you’re butthurt and obsessed with trying to bring him down. I’ve got news for you, it ain’t going to happen just posting comments on his stories.

      • Fucking Relax!
        June 6, 2020 at 3:26 pm

        Geez! Relax douche.

        Maybe switch to decaf?

      • lmao ok
        June 6, 2020 at 7:36 pm

        Sat in his class for a year, actually! It’s funny that he now champions “free speech”, because I watched him call the office on several occasions when classmates chose to sit quietly at their desks during the pledge of allegiance in the morning. It’s fine if you want to buy into his bullshit (not everybody is a critical thinker), but understand that not everybody is as gullible as you are. There’s a reason why NONE of his former coworkers support him in any way, shape or form. Also, I don’t know why anybody would lie about knowing him?

  • whatevuh
    June 5, 2020 at 8:25 pm

    This is a little like Obama releasing his birth certificate, a little fucking late

  • You Think That Your Readers Are Dumb
    June 5, 2020 at 7:02 pm

    You post a standard release of claims document, which is always a part of a legal settlement, circle the parts releasing any current or future claims (which every release of claims contains, hence the name), add in your usual hefty dose of conjecture and fabrication, and consider it to be exonerating. Nope. Fact – October 9th, 2014 you recieved notice that a guidance counselor forwarded a complaint from the parent of one of your students. Not the first complaint you’d recieved. Fact – about a week later, on October 21st, you are escorted off the property by police and put on leave, while the school and students were just becoming aware of Krigers blog. That blog came with advantageous timing….almost. Its a nice red herring you like to exploit, isn’t it? Fact – the school decided it wise to just pay off the rest of your salary to get you the fuck out and keep the whole ordeal quiet. Your readers aren’t dumb. But you sure are.

    • You Moron
      June 5, 2020 at 9:22 pm

      “You think that your readers are dumb.” Well, in your case he’s right! Got any proof as to what you are alleging? I’m sure you don’t. Your jealousy shines through. Now go away jackass.

  • Lipstickhippie
    Lipstick Hippie
    June 5, 2020 at 6:11 pm

    I don’t know what UT did or didn’t do that resulted in him leaving his teaching job. What I find amusing is how every loser who gets “featured” in this blog brings up the sexual harrassment thing like it’s breaking news and they’re exposing a huge secret. Bunch of fucking morons.

  • Portnoys Ass Squash
    June 5, 2020 at 6:09 pm

    There is definitely something here that you did. You’re a little arrogant stubborn man with thin skin and a tiny penis. Lol, turtle boy investigates and declares the accused NOT GUILTY…HAaaaaa! Same thing with Bristol. All those text messages you post ALL the time show a more than desired plutonic or biz relationship. You would let El Prez Portnoy doggy you with a squash for his attention. Please, sit down put your tiny penis away. Btw, it’s hilarious you say the girls in the BSS article are basic beckys when your wife is a hog.

  • School protected it's reputation
    June 5, 2020 at 2:27 pm

    That document just says they agreed to pay you what’s left of your salary for that year if you agree to go away, never come back and never again discuss what you did to be asked to leave .
    Basically they paid you off to cover their own ass so parents won’t know that one of the teachers ‘they hired’ did X,Y and Z.

    • You Idiot
      June 5, 2020 at 9:34 pm

      The school protected it’s reputation? Do you know what would happen if he actually did sexually harass, molest, or whatever a student and they covered it up? Are you that fucking stupid? If someone found out all hell would break loose. Then what would their reputation be. No, they were covering their financial asses, the school district and likely the Superintendent and/or Principal. I for one am glad they did as I live in the district so my tax dollars go there.

  • ball tickler beard
    June 5, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Portnoid has no reason to be jealous he makes a rap star money you have must have really gone under his skin back in when he was handling out the boston phoenix and free flyers. Nothing against Portnoid but he has the most 2008 hipster douche beard going what’s next is portonoid going to learn to make his own craft beer. Portnoid how dare you appropriate ten year old hipster culture.

    ps. Portnoids viral rants are nothing, the guys I work with in the warehouse all do equal or better rants on any topic but their passed out drunk and stoned every night while portnoid built an empire so I give Portnoid credit for making it and being able to higher bikini girls.

  • randiguy2006
    June 5, 2020 at 2:13 pm



    And concludes….hes innocent!

  • randiguy2006
    June 5, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    “Basically the district agreed to pay me off and in return I agreed not to sue them for the way they mismanaged the publication of a fake news article from a drunken Buffalonian”

    This make ZERO sense, how can a school district “mismanage” a fake news article?

    I’d respect you so much more if you came clean on all this. Its so hard to fire a teacher, you must have done something,

    • Bob
      June 5, 2020 at 4:26 pm

      What don’t you get? You are correct that it is extremely difficult to fire a teacher that has been employed past a year. The school thought that they had their damning evidence to fire him, with the article from the blogger from Buffalo. So they started the firing process with that evidence. Now they made all these accusations based on the article. Turns out that the article and evidence was complete bullshit. The school is now fucked as they moved forward with the false evidence.

      • You are correct
        June 5, 2020 at 9:36 pm

        Well said Bob. Finally someone with some common sense.

  • randiguy2006
    June 5, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Um. Nest egg? They paid you to the end of the year to make you go away and not sue them.

    I don’t know who your lawyer was but you got hosed.

    • Hmmm....
      June 5, 2020 at 2:07 pm

      Almost like he felt lucky to get what he got and end it at that.

    • Bob
      June 5, 2020 at 4:25 pm

      What don’t you get? You are correct that it is extremely difficult to fire a teacher that has been employed past a year. The school thought that they had their damning evidence to fire him, with the article from the blogger from Buffalo. So they started the firing process with that evidence. Now they made all these accusations based on the article. Turns out that the article and evidence was complete bullshit. The school is now fucked as they moved forward with the false evidence.

      • Ak
        June 5, 2020 at 4:38 pm

        PS he was fired based on a Turtleboy post that fully corroborated the Buffalo blog.

    • Bob
      June 5, 2020 at 4:32 pm

      While I’m at it I also want to dispel the rumor that cum tastes like yogurt.
      Yogurt is gross but cum is delicious and I love it.

  • randiguy2006
    June 5, 2020 at 1:50 pm

    Yeah, in a post about how TRANSPARENT you are…you crossed things out!

    LOLOLOL What jabronI!

  • Nadia Yenraek
    Nadia Yenraek
    June 5, 2020 at 1:46 pm

    So it appears that TB isn’t above threatening a frivolous lawsuit and extorting money from people.

    Did Shepherd Hill whine on the internet asking for donations to pay your ransom?

  • Kevins 9 Iron
    June 5, 2020 at 1:45 pm

    Um sorry, that doesn’t prove a thing. I’m an insider on these types of payouts to teachers and administrators and in most cases there’s credible evidence but not enough for a conviction. We know that if it ever were to be made public and we had not fired you, parents would be furious. So we have you quietly resign and then pay the extortion.
    BTW I actually do believe you. It’s just not proof.

    • kevinspitchingwedge
      June 6, 2020 at 9:12 am

      Oh, you’re an insider, ok. We’ll just blindly believe that and everything you say about this topic. What exactly do you do? Who do you work for? What is your name? Without this information we’ll have to assume you are a liar trying to make people think you are some expert on the subject.

  • Gus
    June 5, 2020 at 1:26 pm

    Damn-it! It was not a girl you harassed, it was my (Insert favorite farm animal here)!
    Uncle TB, the hell with the nay-sayers, just keep turtling on my friend.

  • Bella Romanum
    June 5, 2020 at 12:34 pm

    never apologize, never explain….followed closely by never give up, never surrender!

  • Umm okay? Yet?
    June 5, 2020 at 12:28 pm

    Yet, you wrote a blog on October 21, 2019 as WORST day of your life? The day you were walked out at gun point from teaching. These papers were drafted and recorded as November 14, 2019. Why the long lapse? You state you want to be fully transparent. Here is your chance ak. Go!

  • mucho
    June 5, 2020 at 12:18 pm

    that is real small cash. you aren’t going to be in the 1%. but your blog has a readership in the .0000000001%. so there is that.

    • You
      June 5, 2020 at 3:11 pm

      Hey leigha

  • This'll work at shutting trolls up...
    June 5, 2020 at 12:18 pm

    Because trolls are obsessed with facts

  • Cheddah
    June 5, 2020 at 12:08 pm

    Glad you didn’t accidentally throw that away.
    I wonder how that ugly, miserable, Buffalo drunk is doing now?..

  • Janet Napolitano Mills Baker
    June 5, 2020 at 11:59 am

    Barstool is so friggin obsessed with TBS why can’t they give a rest? Doesn’t barstool have looters and arsonists to bail out.

  • Garcia Vega
    June 5, 2020 at 11:47 am

    Well, it won’t put it to rest,( no matter what you do won’t put it to rest) but those of us who read TB daily know it’s out there. Glad you found and posted it

    • Lou P
      Lou P
      June 5, 2020 at 11:59 am


  • WeRFucked
    June 5, 2020 at 11:37 am

    How many names can 1 turtle hater have? Look at the times. Jumping all around for 10 minutes. Hates TB, but comes here to read& comment every day. I don’t get it. Mental illness for sure.

  • bill fleming
    June 5, 2020 at 11:29 am

    If this happened today your punishment would be to write black lives matter 500 times on the blackboard

    • wtf
      June 5, 2020 at 11:55 am

      no thanks rather be fired

  • Turtz McGurtz
    June 5, 2020 at 10:48 am

    Surprised no confidentiality provision in the agreement.

  • Context Please
    June 5, 2020 at 10:47 am

    This comes at an odd time. Is there something bigger going on? Was barstool writing a fake story?

    • No
      June 5, 2020 at 10:51 am

      Lmao Barstool doesn’t care about TB.

  • murdochpatsymcreynolds
    Joe 30330
    June 5, 2020 at 10:40 am

    You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier.

  • Hahaha
    June 5, 2020 at 10:36 am

    Lmao you really do think your readers are stupid. You’re right, of course, but it’s hilarious how transparent you are about thinking so.

    “I wasn’t fired, they paid me to go away forever because I have like a jackass and post about it online, which is not technically firable!”

    • Hahaha
      June 5, 2020 at 10:54 am

      I just noticed this is under Turtleboy Investigates lmao

      Folks, the cool and normal almost 40 year old who calls himself Uncle Turtleboy, and dresses exclusively in clothes covered in cartoon turtles, has researched himself and found himself not guilty.

      • WeRFucked
        June 5, 2020 at 11:41 am

        And you keep the advertisers happy with your page views. Who is smarter, you or the guy who calls himself “Uncle Turtleboy” who has such a following even those that hate him can’t stay away.

        Battered blog syndrome? Is there such a thing? Because you have it.

        • randiguy2006
          June 5, 2020 at 2:17 pm

          What advertisers?

          • lolzzzz
            June 6, 2020 at 12:21 pm

            I realize you aren’t that bright, but that’s how he gets paid moron.

    • Hahaha
      June 5, 2020 at 1:37 pm


      “Lmao you really do think your readers are stupid. You’re right, of course,”

      you’re here day in and day out commenting on the blogs that you in fact read. you can not deny it as you would have no premise of context in your idiotic replies. That says a lot about you dosen’t it, why yes, I think it does, it says a whole bunch about you!
      Thank you for supporting Turtle God multiple times a day through your clicks.

      Check Please:)

  • Will Shakespeare
    June 5, 2020 at 10:36 am

    Methinks UT doth protest too much.

  • Daddy warbucks
    June 5, 2020 at 10:32 am

    Uncle does that $525.00 settlement make you a one percenter?

    • Mr. Leahy RIP
      June 5, 2020 at 12:03 pm

      He covered the other 2 digits moron, he was essentially paid through the end of the school year.

  • don
    June 5, 2020 at 10:32 am

    that will shut a lot of these people up that are spewing lies about why you left teaching. good for you to prove them wrong. keep up the good work.

    • Naw it won't shut'em up
      June 5, 2020 at 2:45 pm

      No it won’t shut them up, not even close. Facts no longer matter these days – only baseless assertions and name-calling.

  • Orion
    June 5, 2020 at 10:28 am

    Uh, who even asked for this?

    • randiguy2006
      June 5, 2020 at 1:57 pm

      Literally no one but hey…its content.

      ALSO, he NEVER reads the comments BWHAHAHAHAA

      • Orion
        June 5, 2020 at 2:09 pm

        True, but it’s been so many years, and until now he’s been content to just set the record straight with his own statements. Why wait until now to show court documents? What spurred this? Not sure why I’m getting downvoted, it was a real question.

        • randiguy2006
          June 5, 2020 at 2:12 pm

          I wouldn’t read too much into it. His wife probably told him that as long as he was going to spend all day in the basement, she wanted him to clean up down there.

          He saw this and remembered 8 months ago someone in the comments section said something about it.

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