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Is Turtleboy Becoming Too Right Wing? Do You Care If Kavanaugh Lied About Boofing?

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This episode of Uncle Turtleboy’s Light Night Garage Podcast is brought to you by the good folks over at Garage Doors Plus in Quincy. Support the Turtleboy sponsors by giving them a call for all your garage door needs, visit their website gdplus.com, or like them on Facebook to support the turtle.

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When we first started this blog we wanted it to be an escape from divisive politics. We wanted to unite people around common sense issues.

Is Turtleboy becoming too right wing? Uncle Turtleboy did a podcast on it:

We’ve done like, 20 blogs in the last week about the Brett Kavanaugh debacle, all of them supporting Republicans while ripping Democrats. The short answer is, no, we are not right wing. Because we don’t consider it right wing to support Brett Kavanaugh. If we supported him simply because he’s a conservative that would be fair. But what’s happening to him right now is so freaking dangerous, and so horrible, and it could happen to anyone. We are fighting against modern day witch trials. We are fighting against mob mentality. We are fighting against SJW virtue signaling. We are fighting against the idea that your entire life can be ruined by one person’s unsubstantiated allegations. We are fighting for common sense, and the fact of the matter is that common sense tells you when someone claims there were four witnesses at a house party, and all four of them deny being there, that you’re being sold a bunch of lies.

Speaking of liars, I will concede this – I think Kavanaugh lied about being a nerdy choir boy initially. I think he partied hard in high school and college. I think “Renate Alumni” was some sort of reference to his group of friend all at least trying to hook up with their friend Renate. I don’t know if the Devil’s Triangle is a drinking game or an orgy, I just refuse to use Urban Dictionary as a valid source. Nor do I care if the Devil’s Triangle is an orgy. Because since when do democrats have a problem with orgies?

But I don’t care if he lied about that. I actually support it. Because it’s INSANE that the Senate is going through his yearbook trying to smear him as a sexual predator because he liked to drink beer and act like a jock. His yearbook is EXACTLY like mine. Everything in my bio was in code. We had this group in high school called “BOK” – boys of keg. I shit you not, we all put it in our bios. That’s how gay we were. Boys of keg.

The inquiries about boofing were illegitimate questions, asked in bad faith, for the sole purpose of publicly humiliating a man, and it had NOTHING TO DO with his qualifications to be a SCOTUS Justice. They were not trying to find any answers or clear anything up. They were trying to humiliate him. Let’s, for the sake of argument, assume he was lying about the meaning of things in his yearbook. In that case he had three options:

  1. Tell the truth – Devil’s Triangle is a threesome. Democrats would say he’s unqualified to be on SCOTUS because he’s a sex pervert (they care about that now).
  2. Refuse to answer on the grounds that the question is illegitimate and asked in bad faith. Democrats would say he’s unqualified to be on SCOTUS because he’s obstructing justice and refusing to answer what they think are valid questions.
  3. Say that boofing refers to flatulence and Devil’s Triangle is a drinking game, because there’s no way to prove he’s lying since Urban Dictionary isn’t a valid source of anything. Democrats would say he’s unqualified to be on SCOTUS because they already have their minds made up what that word means, and therefore he committed perjury.

All three choices result in the same outcome. Personally, I would’ve gone with option 2 because I embrace controversy, but option 3 was the safest.

SSTG and Bristol Turtlechick voted for Bernie Sanders. NSTB and MVTB hate Trump. I voted for Obama and Deval Patrick, largely because I had friends coming home from tours overseas all fucked up, and the Republicans were the party of war in the Middle East.

Here’s some thing we all generally agree on at Turtleboy Sports:

We like sensible government.

We don’t mind paying taxes to go to social programs. we just don’t like it when these social programs are ineffective and abused.

We think healthcare is a major issue in our country and the system needs reforming. We just don’t think single payer is the answer to that.

We support public labor union’s right to organize and collectively bargain, and we also support the rights of School Committees to play hardball with them so that they meet somewhere in between.

My bleeding heart sympathizes with illegal immigrants who were so desperate for freedom and opportunity that they cut the line to come here and are living undocumented. But we also understand that a country isn’t really a country with open borders, and that illegal immigration causes a lot of problems.

We think that a border wall is a stupid idea that will solve nothing. But we also don’t think walls are hateful.

We support gun rights and the Second Amendment. We also think stupid people who lack the ability to make good life decisions shouldn’t have unlimited access to guns.

We like diversity if it happens spontaneously, we just don’t think diversifying your workplace should be a priority.

We think rogue and corrupt police officers should be held responsible. But we also think that cops should have a right to defend themselves, and the anti-police culture that black lives matter fosters is unhealthy and gets cops killed.

We support women’s equality, we just don’t think the “wage gap” has anything to do with sexism, and has everything to do with personal choices made by individuals.

Somewhere along the line the democrats started embracing douchebags. Lena Dunham, woke blue checkmark Twitter SJWs, intolerant college professors and students, people whining about the electoral college, Shaun King. The list goes on and on. Why would I want to be associated with any of these people? I will grant you that there are no shortage of racists in the republican party, but the difference is that these people don’t get to speak at the RNC, because they’re such an embarrassment.

I could go on and on. But the number one issue for all of us at Turtleboy Sports is simple – free speech. And this is why it seems that Turtleboy is a right wing blog – because republicans have become the champions of free speech, and the democrats have become the party of censorship. Facebook, Google, and Twitter have all silenced us more times than I can count. They’re all run by liberals. The people who harass our advertisers, whine about hate speech, and censor us by reporting our Facebook pages, are always liberals. We’ve written many blogs that conservative turtle riders don’t agree with. They just call us libtards and we go on our way. They don’t try to silence us.

We also like having fun at Turtleboy Sports, and the Republicans have miraculously become the party of fun. They’ve turned Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz into punk rock. Judge Kavanaugh isn’t being torn apart because he wants to outlaw porn, he’s getting torn apart because he liked to party back in the day. Meanwhile, the democrats have become the puritan party. They don’t allow fun. They’re suddenly offended by binge drinking and hooking up with chicks. They don’t allow jokes that offend certain groups of “marginalized people.” Amy Schumer, an alleged liberal “comedian,” wrote this on IG the other day:

She checked her own privilege. She made jokes about #MeToo and Beyonce, got torn apart by other liberals, and instead of defending her artistic freedom she censored herself. And she doesn’t mind doing it!

This is why every day I find myself aligning with the right more and more – because the democrats aren’t fun anymore, they don’t believe in free speech, and they censor ideas by labeling everything they don’t like as so abhorrently immoral that even considering it makes you subhuman scum.

11 Comment(s)
  • Who cares not me
    October 11, 2018 at 11:44 am

    5-10% of rapes/sexual assaults are false. Most rapes go unreported. You decided to believe a man that lied about his drinking habits and his penchant for weird sexual phrases. Just like many men, Democrat and Republican, you turtleboys are bros. Don’t complain when women look at you sideways. Just an FYI, politicians on both sides don’t really care about you.

  • Randy
    October 4, 2018 at 10:47 am

    Yeah who cares if a possible Supreme Court judge lied under oath?
    At least you admit your an idiot. Thats a good start.

    Right wing? You? Noooooooooooooo…LOLZ

  • Oompa loompa
    October 3, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Eh, he only lied under oath. I think he’s still qualified for the Supreme Court. Also, eh, he’s trying to hide that he blacked out when drinking on several occasions to hide the fact that there is a real possibility he did what he’s accused of and can’t remember it. Let’s smarten up and go with any one of the excellent conservative judges waiting on deck.

  • Tom Blackburn
    October 2, 2018 at 9:42 pm

    Here’s another thing I would add, as a Republican.
    It’s widely known in some inner circles that there some very credible rape accusations are about to come out against Trump.
    Which means there’s a push to legalize rape. And that process is underway with Kavanaugh. There are three rape cases ready to hit the Supreme Court and he’s ready to rule in favor of the rapist on all three. It won’t take long until rape is fully legal.
    The libs have felt the need to dig up some BS against him because they love to scream rape whenever (more reason to legalize it).
    Further, Lindsey Graham has raped more than a few boys, some as young as 5 years old. So it’s no surprise that he wants Kavanaugh through.
    Simply put, we Republicans now represent the Pro Rape party. Embrace it.

  • CE
    October 2, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    This was great. Kind of summed up how i feel. I don’t agree with everything uncle turtle boy said, but there is no way i can identify with todays democrat party. Btw, speaking of Amy Schumer, she gave a great interview on Stern where she said she loves cream pies and doesn’t use rubbers. Howard had a fit because he is so germaphobic and still uses rubbers with Beth. It was great, that she expressed how she felt and as a man, her want for cum made her more attractive to me. Im sure in todays me too era it will be a matter of time before she comes forward with some false allegation

  • BlackandWhite
    October 2, 2018 at 5:21 pm

    I don’t think TB is considered right wing, but more anti-SJW/ & Antifa insanity. This is an interesting time. There’s your GOP and DEM. But there are extreme’s on each side that should be in their own category.

  • Paul Manafort
    October 2, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    Boofing is a Ukrainian term for trying to overthrow another government from the inside in order to increase the global price of oil so you can compete. Would you like me to use it in a sentence? “I got jailed due to boofing, and am forced to co-operate”

  • Swanky
    October 2, 2018 at 1:07 pm

    It’s hard to imagine Amy Schumer being less funny… but it sounds like she is now consciously deciding to be less funny.

  • TJB
    October 2, 2018 at 12:56 pm

    I disagree about the wall. Did you miss two weeks ago when armed men in camo uniforms and automatic weapons were filmed crossing over to the US? they were escorting illegals backpacking drugs over to the US. No, we need that wall. 1. Let the BP do their job, and arrest and deport crossers OR 2. Let the US Army Engineers place obstacles and mines along the border. After all it is a WAR. last summer a shipment of drugs big enough to poison an entire city was caught coming into the US. it originated in….. CHINA. it’s not just Mexican poor people looking for a better life; it’s crime looking for new victims worldwide.

  • Mike
    October 2, 2018 at 12:12 pm

    “We also think stupid people who lack the ability to make good life decisions should have unlimited access to guns.” I think you forgot a “not” in that sentence, otherwise, great post.

  • Pat Buchanan's Ballbag
    October 2, 2018 at 11:04 am

    Reality is right. You learn that when you grow up, or else you never grow up.

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