Is Turtleboy Turning Into Maury Povich? Do You Respect Chair Parking Savers? Did Celia Mcauliffe Show Up To Defend Her Honor? Last Night’s Turtleboy Live Featuring Ninja Turtleboy Was Our Biggest Ever

Is Turtleboy Turning Into Maury Povich? Do You Respect Chair Parking Savers? Did Celia Mcauliffe Show Up To Defend Her Honor? Last Night’s Turtleboy Live Featuring Ninja Turtleboy Was Our Biggest Ever

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We had our biggest show ever last night for Turtleboy Live. We had over 10,000 people on!! Maybe it was the snow, or the vain hope that Celia Mcauliffe would show up to defend her honor, or the fact that Ninja Turtleboy was our special guest, or that we’ve added a free style Turtleboy rap at the end of every episode. Whatever the reason, the turtle riding nation got 60 minutes worth of turtle talk. Topics included the New Hampshire residents busted trying to buy drugs in Lawrence, Fall River fight videos and junior hoodrat free my boi commentary, the return of Gabbi Hebert, Turtleboy ratchet island, PCB’s in public schools, marking the spot you shoveled out with a chair, Celia hiring a hitman and offering to pay him with carnal favors, and whether or not Turtleboy is turning into Maury Povich and if this is a good thing. Enjoy.

FYI, this is the conversation that was referenced:

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First off, we appreciate any constructive criticism and we don’t hate you for it. We thrive off of it. It’s the only way to get better. But apparently these people don’t like what South Shore Turtlegirl brings to the table. Which is fine. It says right at the top of each article if she wrote them or not. That’s the beauty of TBS. We publish so many blogs so you are free to pick and choose what you read. But once we started seeing the “you should stop using words like cheesehog and fupasloth and be more civilized” something needed to be said:

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Do we have a little Maury Povich to us? Sure. But we mix it in with hard hitting exposes that keep people informed about REAL issues that affect them. Once again, if you’re not into the trashbag blogs, you don’t have to read them. But SSTG isn’t going anywhere, so you better just get used to having her around. Same with Deskie, Gupta Patel, Fiesty Turtle, and the countless other contributors to our website.

P.S. I have a hard time believing Emilie Poulin was ever a fan of Turtleboy to begin with:

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Oh look, she has the American flag upside down. That’s so edgy of her. Oh wait, sorry, didn’t want to assume your gender Emilie.


But seriously, check out the Huffington Post if the turtle hurts your delicate feelings going forward.


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14 Comment(s)
  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    March 16, 2017 at 4:50 am

    I would wager a guess that since we’re between elections, that has a bit to do with the increase in the skagbag articles and the decrease in the Woo politics ones – but I’m sure it will be picking up now that good ol’ Boss McGovernment is going to have to start coming to town and campaigning for his cronies – that bald head will be EVERYWHERE to rattle up some votes!

  • It's free too
    March 15, 2017 at 7:51 pm

    This site is good overall , if one does not like it, stay away.

  • Turd Burglestein
    March 15, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    SSTG gets more butthurts per article than any other writer from what I’ve seen, so if she’s pissing off all these hoodrats and embarrassing them she is obviously doing something right.

  • BobnMic
    March 15, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    Hey Emilie Poulin. I’m Bob. Or as other ladies call me, “hey you, hiding in the bushes.”

    But seriously… I’m just recently getting out of a long term relationship with a live in Godzilla monster… And a short term fling with an inflatable female companion.

    I just, am trying to go through life, being nice to people, and struggling with the urge to punch them in the face. And, for what? You know what I mean?

    I like deep conversations (with people that share my interests, if not, pound sand snowflake), long walks on the beach (not off a short pier like people tell me to do), and stuff that the broads liked in Fifty Shades of Grey.

    I’m looking for someone that will listen to me talk and not understand the horrible things I am saying. I’m prone to bed wetting when I have my night terrors, but the rubber sheets handle that.

    Would you like to get coffee sometime at Dunkin Donuts? Not Starbucks… They’re a bunch of Trump hating hipster snowflake SJWs… I’ll bring my cuffs.. And Rohypnol, if you’re into that sort of thing…

    • Emilie
      March 15, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      Wow. You’re the coolest.

  • XYZAffair
    March 15, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    Who cares about those commenters? As for Emilie, yuck!

    • Turtlefan
      March 16, 2017 at 8:17 am

      Emilie looks like a pig.

  • Luna phantasma
    March 15, 2017 at 3:39 pm

    10k views? That’s cute. Not really impressive, but cute.

  • John Barker
    March 15, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    Two up for SSTG. LOVE her work…I always look forward to a couple of brews and a SSTG article…..I’ve always wondered this though..Does SS TurtleGuy ever get to get a word in edgewise??

    • March 16, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      Honestly, he’s the only man who ever tamed me. So, yes he does and often. Haha

  • March 15, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    I hate to say this, bc I do indeed LOVE your blog, but I do think that SSTG takes it a little too far sometimes. She tries to be too harsh and too insulting and it is not witty, like some of the original turtle writers. That being said, I don’t expect you to fire her or for her to stop writing. But you can obviously tell none of the TB contributions have come from her just yet. Hopefully as time goes by she decides to be less cruel and more creative !

    • LLC
      March 15, 2017 at 4:27 pm

      STFU. Whine elsewhere.

      “Too cruel”. Hahahaha These skagbags deserve much worse.

    • paul
      March 16, 2017 at 11:48 am

      She is very long winded and her stories could be condensed. I read this blog religiously but I usually avoid her entries.

      i still would like to know what happened to the insurance fraud investigation. Did someone ‘get to ” turtleboy

      • March 16, 2017 at 3:56 pm

        I agree with you. I am long-winded. I make fun of myself for it quite often. I’m just as long-winded in person too. Avoid having me over for dinner hahaha.

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