Jared Fogle Epitomizes Everything That Is Wrong With Our Culture Today

Today’s scumbag du jour is the king of “footlongs”, and we can all agree that he should crawl into a hole and die alone. But why was Jared Fogle even famous in the first place? In today’s culture of glorifying people that have accomplished and achieved nothing, we continually learn about and often worship otherwise pathetic losers that we should never have even heard about in the first place.



William Hung became famous for being embarrassingly terrible on American Idol, the Kardashians are either worshipped or despised by everyone, the Dysfunctional Duggars did nothing but spit out a hundred kids, and on and on. What did any of these people do to warrant such praise and prolonged media attention? The problem continues to be our misled culture.


Jared, always was, is, and always will be a fat creep. His embarrassing claim to fame was – after being a fat slob his whole life, he lost weight because he ate Subway sandwiches?  Instead of dining on, god only knows what (insert joke here). Is eating at Subway twice a day really something that should be deemed impressive? What about the millions of people that worked hard at the gym and got themselves in shape despite adversity.  What about athletes and academics that overcame brutal childhoods and poverty and played division I sports or received scholarships and eventually became productive members of society? We rarely hear their names. But here Jared is – a multi-millionaire and a household American name with plenty of resources to live out his fucked-up deviant fantasies.

American soldiers are considered cowards, police are considered enemies, criminals are victims, terrorists are misunderstood, illegal immigrants deserve more benefits than veterans, child abusers are forgiven, and drug dealers “had no other choice” to provide for their families.

Parents that abandoned their children are blaming foster parents for the mistreatment of their own biological children, and now the those same parents are receiving undying support from the masses.   People that are actually working to make sure those same children are being properly provided for are to blame?


None of us should have ever even known who Jared Fogle was. God only knows how many lives he has harmed over his “reign” of 15 years as the king of a sleazy fast-food chain.  It’s sad that hundreds of millions of people know who Jared Fogle is, but few could tell you about Pat Tillman.


And who is considered the biggest creep in America today by the masses? Tom Brady. A champion that everyone should want their children to aspire to be like.

Take a lap America before it’s too late.




14 Comment(s)
  • BobnMic
    August 22, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    I had to look up what Jared Fogle was up to because I had no idea what this article was saying or trying to say. My bad I watch way too much sports and not enough news. But my God what a piece of shit this dude Jared is huh? Wow!

  • Beetle
    August 22, 2015 at 10:31 am

    He was also a colts fan… Makes him when worse somehow.

  • August 21, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    Must be a slow news day to waste a rant about useless slugs like Him….The fact that anyone gives a shit about losers like him is what’s wrong with American “culture”… Quite frankly, I believe Pedophiles should be Hanged Publicly, or at Least Castrated… not sure what to do with the Female Pedophiles other than sending them to North Korea to continually “serve” the “Exalted Leader” until he figures out a way to dispose of them…. maybe chop ’em up into pieces, and feed them to his fancy Goldfish/Koi……… Those who Prey upon Children should be EXTERMINATED with EXTREME PREJUDICE……… Just sayin’

  • WormtownorBust
    August 21, 2015 at 10:04 am

    I think you need to post an Old Balls blog soon. Based on what I’ve seen on his blog at the T&G lately he’s desperate for some of your hot-takes attention.

  • BenWa
    August 21, 2015 at 8:53 am

    This article is nonsense. Jared wasn’t famous for losing weight, he was famous because Subway used that fact to elevate him to posterboy/spokeman. He could be fictional like Ronald McDonald – in other words it doesn’t matter what he did to get there. Im not aware of any real praise being showered upon him, and in my limited world he was always regarded as a schmuck.

    • elite
      August 21, 2015 at 9:40 am

      Turtleboy, you forgot to mention hillary clinton as a one who rode on her husbands coat tail to force herself on the American people. Shes lied, stole, and killed to get to where she is, and shes not stopping!!

      • nate
        August 21, 2015 at 1:51 pm

        You’re an idiot

  • Publius
    August 21, 2015 at 8:46 am

    The headlines made it seemed like these were children. Then the details are 17 year old prostitutes. Not to justify it but just a little perspective. But we like to build up nothings (Kardashian etc) then tear them down. At we all love salacious headlines. If Fogle picked Massachusetts (age consent 16) he might be looking at much less time (then again this is federal charges , crossing state lines and so forth).

  • Billy Bobb
    August 21, 2015 at 7:48 am

    This entire write up was shit. This is how I know there are multiple turtle writers, cuz little gems like this prove it. Everyday I faithfully check the website for good stories and every now and then I see a gargantuan fecal storm masks as a good story. Quality control please.

  • JoeMomma
    August 21, 2015 at 6:30 am

    Deez Nuts must just come here to look at the pretty pictures….try reading an article before commenting on it.

  • Deez nuts
    August 21, 2015 at 2:59 am

    Please tell me what does pat Tillman have to do with Jared and his criminal case?? Absolutely no connection with each other yet you bring up a dead man! The fuck kind of shit is this

    • Chris Seith
      August 21, 2015 at 5:11 am

      Pat Tilman is a hero. Hard work got him to the NFL and he gave it up to serve his country. Pat Tilman Role model. Subway guy why do I know his name?

    • Davidsl
      August 22, 2015 at 7:13 pm


    August 21, 2015 at 12:09 am

    I hope he gets alot of footlongs in jail. Scumbag.

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron