People say dumb stuff on the Internet a lot. I get pitched with story ideas for them all the time but I usually don’t blog about it because there’s just so many. But I thought this one was pretty funny:

According to “Jawsh McSawall” we should call it black and blue instead of back the blue, because cops all kick the shit out of their wives. And he looks exactly like you imagined he would.

If I looked and dressed like junkie Anderson Cooper here, I’d kick the shit out of myself.

Usually my first reaction when I see a comment like that is, “which cop fucked your girlfriend?” But in this case “Jawsh” hates the cops because of a 2017 incident in Salem, which is probably why he doesn’t go by his real name on Facebook – Josh Sawall. If he did then it would be pretty easy to Google him and find out that he was arrested for child endangerment after he abandoned his 3 month old son at home alone in order to cheat on his wife with some local sloppy skank who crashed into a pole while drunk and then attempted to ride him in the passenger’s seat:

A father who was supposed to be home caring for his three-month-old baby while his wife was at work instead slipped out to spend time with another woman, police say, and is now facing a child endangerment charge. And the woman he was found with Saturday night, in her parked SUV, has been charged with drunken driving. Joshua Sawall, 29, of 8 Skerry Street Place, Salem, pleaded not guilty to charges that, besides child endangerment, include resisting arrest, assault and battery on a police officer and disturbing the peace at his arraignment Tuesday in Salem District Court. Yael Morency, 33, of 141 Loring Ave., Salem, pleaded not guilty to a drunken driving charge at her arraignment Tuesday. 

Police were called to the Carlton School parking lot by someone who witnessed an SUV crash into a sign pole. Officers arriving at the lot, which is off Skerry Street, spotted a Chevrolet Traverse parked across four spaces, with damage to its front end consistent with hitting a sign, which was on the ground nearby.  Inside, Morency was sitting on top of Sawall in the passenger seat. As the officers approached, she moved into the driver’s seat of the running SUV.  Neither wanted to give their names, and Morency denied being in an accident. Then, Sawall attempted to leave. After officers told him he couldn’t because they were investigating an accident, a struggle ensued, with Sawall yelling that he could do “whatever the (expletive) I want.” 

During the scuffle, a patrolman was injured and Sawall was hit with a baton. He also suffered some abrasions before he was taken into custody, and was later treated by an ambulance crew.  The officer suffered cuts and abrasions to his head and his hands, according to a police report. It wasn’t until he was at the police station that he mentioned his baby daughter at home alone in the apartment, telling police that the child was going to starve to death. The child was found, unharmed, and taken to North Shore Children’s Hospital. 

Here’s an idea – if you’ve ever been caught cheating on your wife after getting arrested for child endangerment and had your crotch fruit taken by the DCF Fairy, maybe you shouldn’t be accusing other people of mistreating family members. Especially when your wife Sara doesn’t leave you after an embarrassing ordeal like this, and your mistress ends up beating the charges but then gets charged again the next year for the same crime.

It doesn’t matter how much you play the loving Dad on Facebook…..

You’ll always be the guy who got arrested for fighting the cops after abandoning his kid at home so he could get a blowjob before his wife got back.

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