Kevin Lynch Has Made A Page Where He’s Putting Random People’s Pictures Up And Saying They Are Turtleboy As He Plans Massive Lawsuit

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Kevin Lynch continues to be the greatest villain in the history of Turtleboy Sports. The former Fitchburg Mayoral candidate, who somehow got over 1,000 votes for Fitchburg City Council last November, has created the latest in many pages that will attempt to take down Turtleboy. Entitled, “The tw0-faced Turtleboy adjuster” it is sure to be the inevitable downfall of Turtleboy Sports:

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He’s also quite upset that he has been blocked from the Turtleboy Sports Facebook pages:

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Just for the record, we don’t mind free speech. We like it. It’s when you arbitrarily report every single thing you see on our Facebook page and get us shut down for 30 days that we have to consider putting you in Facebook timeout. Now that he’s banned he also messages us a million times a day:


An apology blog? Yea, we’ll get right on that Kev!!!


He keeps telling us that we’re harassing his family. Literally no clue what this man is referring to. We’ve asked him several times which posts he wants us to take down so we can at least look them over, but usually this ends up with him calling us “sick freaks” and he talks about the massive civil litigation coming our way.


This is another theme we’re seeing a lot from poor Kevin. That turtle riders are threatening and harassing Kevin’s family. Obviously this isn’t really happening, but just in case we wanted to be on the record that we explicitly condemn threatening and harassing poor Kevin’s family. He has enough on his plate trying to shovel five inches of snow and hitchiking to Worcester so he can file complaints about mean things people said to him on Facebook.

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Oh yea, and if you wanna help Kevin out with his crusade to take down Turtleboy in court, he’s got it all planned out for you:


So there you have it. If you can help figure out who is threatening to kill him in his imaginary world, then you will get 30% of the imaginary winnings from the imaginary lawsuit. Black lives matter will be getting 37%, because 38% is too much, but 36% is white privilege.

Oh yea, and just a heads up to whoever these poor people are, but Kevin has been very busy putting together a list of everyone who he thinks works for Turtleboy Sports. He’s posted all their mugshots to the two faced Turtleboy adjuster page. If you see your picture up there and he’s defaming you, feel free to report both him and his page. Because Kevin Lynch would do the same to you in a heartbeat:

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Something tells me this is not the last we’ve heard from Kevin Lynch.


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16 Comment(s)
  • BlackandWhite
    February 23, 2016 at 4:01 pm

    Dude needs to be in a “hospital” with no internet access.

  • train wreck
    February 23, 2016 at 3:27 pm

    He’s talking to himself on the page as a TMNT. This is too much.

  • Wabbitt
    February 23, 2016 at 2:47 pm

    I guess I’m still just a little guy; never getting accused of being a part of the massive turtle conspiracy.

    Seriously, can we get him a tinfoil hat? I think he lost his.

  • Publius
    February 23, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    Not sure this is just caused from abusing steroids. Serious untreated mental health issues. Mr. Lynch please seek help.

  • Clark
    February 23, 2016 at 11:44 am

    He’s actually a pretty good guy

  • Reddog
    February 23, 2016 at 11:05 am

    TB, please send this guy a free t shirt, maybe he will see this as a good faith gesture and drop his lawsuit.

  • John Wick
    February 23, 2016 at 9:50 am

    Gonna sue the turtleboy for mean words! Hurt feelings! Invading my safe space with things like reality and facts! Not sure if this dope has noticed, but TB hasn’t really said anything about him, just posted his asinine FB posts which inevitably led him to self implode based on his own comments.

    Kev, you’re literally a dog getting pissed at himself for biting his own tail. Seek help. There’s no lawsuit in the land of Internets and unicorns for hurt feelings. All of this, is a direct result from your OWN POSTS.

    • Stupid
      February 23, 2016 at 11:19 am

      Yeah, don’t you love it when people go apeshit when you throw their own words back at them?

  • Just nick
    February 23, 2016 at 7:06 am

    Imaginary lawsuit conveying payouts for informants, and essentially a loose canon. Wow, Lynch is a piece of work.

  • Dgaf
    February 23, 2016 at 4:57 am

    This guy is batshit crazy and must not have a job to sit home and rant all day or “investigate” turtleboy. He wins most butthurt keyboard warrior though.

  • Kevin Lynch
    February 23, 2016 at 2:20 am

    Looking at all the profiles you can actually see Turtle features in each one of them. Wasn’t there a lizard people conspiracy?

    I have to admit that I had my first laugh in a couple weeks reading the two headed snapper turtle ,”BK”, Bret the killer killoran.

    And I don’t know who those two guys are together but I think the guy on the right is an actor.

    If I have to give you constructive criticism I would have to state that the story was very choppy like.

    One thing I have noticed is also a recurring thing and that is that most of the women who post nasty stuff and who post to back Turtleboy all seem to have mental health issues.

    When I read their nasty comments I am reminded that I am gay which is a relief at moments like this as they particular women appear to be girls with issues.

    • JLo
      February 23, 2016 at 4:56 am

      Kevin Loser… Suck my big fat dick. Who let you out of your cage buddy?
      Somewhere… A toilet is missing it’s plunger, and I’m about to take a huge shit.
      Right this way, fuckhead!

    • Kevin's Imaginary Friend
      February 23, 2016 at 7:10 am

      Thought you couldn’t post here, Kevdog. Fucking dumbass.

  • Sterling Turtle Rider
    February 23, 2016 at 1:24 am

    Well that one guy is obviously working for Turtleboy, he’s wearing a Raphael shirt on! Case closed!
    But in keeping with my previous posts, the more I hear from this guy, the more I think he needs a stay in the hospital. His grasp of reality seems tenuous at best, and it has to be effecting his physical health… it’s sad to see someone put their worst qualities on display for so many to see through social media. I hope someone close to him can help get him offline and in touch with someone who can help him.

    • Sterling Turtle Rider
      February 23, 2016 at 1:26 am

      *(wearing a Raphael shirt on) his profile pic

  • BobnMic
    February 23, 2016 at 12:51 am

    Note to lunatic Kevin Lynch – From

    What are the Most Common Side Effects That May Occur with Anabolic Steroid Use?

    There is a wide array of serious side effects associated with abuse of anabolic steroids. Steroid use can alter the normal hormonal production in the body. Most side effects can be reversed if the drugs are stopped, but some, such as a deepened voice in women may persist. Data on long-term side effects primarily come from case reports and not from well-controlled, long-term epidemiological studies, which might be reliable. Common side effects with anabolic steroids may include:

    •Severe acne, oily skin and hair
    •Hair loss
    •Liver disease, such as liver tumors and cysts
    •Kidney disease
    •Heart disease, such as heart attack and stroke
    •Altered mood, irritability, increased aggression, depression or suicidal tendencies
    •Alterations in cholesterol and other blood lipids
    •High blood pressure
    •Gynecomastia (abnormal development of mammary glands in men causing breast enlargement)
    •Shrinking of testicals
    •Azoospermia (absence of sperm in semen)
    •Menstrual irregularities in women
    •Excess facial or body hair, deeper voice in women
    •Stunted growth and height in teens
    •Risk of viral or bacterial infections due to unsterile injections

    So Kevie – have fun with all of this you complete and utter fool. And with all of that drug abuse and iron pumping – I bet you still never got laid. Not that you could anyway with a pencil dick, peanuts for balls and man boobs…

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