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A few people tipped us off to this Facebook post from a Fitchburg junior smokeshow:
So let’s see what he said about this girl that was so offensive….
Look, I’m all for offensive humor. But the thing about humor is, it has to be funny. Being offensive for the fuck of it isn’t comedy. See, “she should be raped” doesn’t work on any levels. It’s just you trying to make people upset. But I’ll tell you what is funny – a grown man who poses for hardo bathroom selfies while grabbing what he would argue is a penis with his boy toy:
A grown man who wears flat brimmed hats with the sticker still on it
A grown man’s man who constantly wants to share with the world his homoerotic selfie skills.
A grown man who still pops his collar like it’s ought four.
A grown man who likes to pretend that he makes enough money to have consensual sex with women.
A grown man who hasn’t driven a car in 10 years:
A grown man whose name is Mike Cochran. As in My Cock Ring.
Of course the real reason he hasn’t driven a car in 10 years is because he’s spent a significant chunk of that time as state property:
Hey My Cock Ring, next time you and your big bro commit a home invasion, make sure the mask stays on:
Police were called to the area of Abbey Road for a report of a disturbance and on arrival, a female victim answered the door and said that someone had broken in and stolen a significant amount of money and had assaulted her. She had visible marks on her, according to court documents, including scratches on her arms and a cut above her eye. She said the two masked suspects fled.
A second male victim, who had cuts on his face and forehead and had a swollen eye, said that one of the suspects had a gun and beat him extensively and choked him until he passed out. The female victim said she was waiting for a friend to come over, and when she opened her apartment the two masked men, later identified as Michael and Andrew Cochran, stormed in demanding money. She said both were wearing bandanas but they fell off and she recognized them.
Michael Cochran, 23, of 65 Union St., Apt. 3, was arraigned on charges of home invasion, attempted murder, assault and battery, and three counts of armed and masked robbery. They threatened to stab her if she did not give them money, so she gave them $200 she had locked in a safe. They also allegedly took between $1,200 and $1,500 from the male victim’s pocket as they beat him, he told police.
Oh yea, and if you and one of your buttnut buckaroos steals a safe with $250,000 worth of coins from his Dad’s house, make sure you don’t pull a gun on the guy who let you borrow his car to commit the crime:
A Fitchburg teenager and Leominster man are facing charges they stole a safe belonging to the teen’s father that contained more than $250,000 worth of cash, rare coins and jewelry on March 16. Bruce Altman, 18, of 104 Mechanic St. and Michael Cochran, 21, of 248 Main St., Leominster, both posted bail after being charged with stealing a safe belonging to Altman’s father, Joseph Altman, 45, also of 104 Mechanic St. He told police he had been receiving threatening messages from Cochran, who had also pulled out a .22-caliber pistol and threatened to kill him if he didn’t sell some jewelry Cochran and Altman had stolen, Ledoux wrote.
Because he’ll snitch on you.
Then he doubled down and so did the rest of his shaft shining pals:
Telling a girl you don’t know that she’s not attractive enough to be sexually assaulted. Hilarious. Where does he come up with this material? He must’ve a big hit at the Walpole talent shows. Of course from the looks his “She’s 16 but she’ll be 17 in June” chin strap, rape seems to be something he’s probably familiar with.
Bro, is this real? Well, he is a violent felon who clearly has no regard for human life. So yea, I certainly wouldn’t put rape past him John Conor. Way to stand up for your boy though, I’m sure your girlfriend and kids are gonna be proud of you when they read this.
The bottom line is, if you’re gonna make offensive jokes, then make sure they’re funny. And if you’re gonna make jokes about raping a girl who is too inebriated to stand up, make sure you don’t have a shitload of Google trophies. Because this is like a recipe for becoming Turtleboy famous.