Nudniks

Leominster Buttnut Buckaroo Announces Desire To Rape Inebriated Woman After Getting Out Of Jail For Armed Home Invasion When His Mask Fell Off

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Smiles Forever, the newest Turtleboy Sports page and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few people tipped us off to this Facebook post from a Fitchburg junior smokeshow:

So let’s see what he said about this girl that was so offensive….

Look, I’m all for offensive humor. But the thing about humor is, it has to be funny. Being offensive for the fuck of it isn’t comedy. See, “she should be raped” doesn’t work on any levels. It’s just you trying to make people upset. But I’ll tell you what is funny – a grown man who poses for hardo bathroom selfies while grabbing what he would argue is a penis with his boy toy:

A grown man who wears flat brimmed hats with the sticker still on it

A grown man’s man who constantly wants to share with the world his homoerotic selfie skills.

A grown man who still pops his collar like it’s ought four.

A grown man who likes to pretend that he makes enough money to have consensual sex with women.

A grown man who hasn’t driven a car in 10 years:

A grown man whose name is Mike Cochran. As in My Cock Ring.

Of course the real reason he hasn’t driven a car in 10 years is because he’s spent a significant chunk of that time as state property:

Hey My Cock Ring, next time you and your big bro commit a home invasion, make sure the mask stays on:

Police were called to the area of Abbey Road for a report of a disturbance and on arrival, a female victim answered the door and said that someone had broken in and stolen a significant amount of money and had assaulted her. She had visible marks on her, according to court documents, including scratches on her arms and a cut above her eye. She said the two masked suspects fled.

A second male victim, who had cuts on his face and forehead and had a swollen eye, said that one of the suspects had a gun and beat him extensively and choked him until he passed out. The female victim said she was waiting for a friend to come over, and when she opened her apartment the two masked men, later identified as Michael and Andrew Cochran, stormed in demanding money. She said both were wearing bandanas but they fell off and she recognized them.

Michael Cochran, 23, of 65 Union St., Apt. 3, was arraigned on charges of home invasion, attempted murder, assault and battery, and three counts of armed and masked robbery. They threatened to stab her if she did not give them money, so she gave them $200 she had locked in a safe. They also allegedly took between $1,200 and $1,500 from the male victim’s pocket as they beat him, he told police.

Oops!!

Oh yea, and if you and one of your buttnut buckaroos steals a safe with $250,000 worth of coins from his Dad’s house, make sure you don’t pull a gun on the guy who let you borrow his car to commit the crime:

A Fitchburg teenager and Leominster man are facing charges they stole a safe belonging to the teen’s father that contained more than $250,000 worth of cash, rare coins and jewelry on March 16. Bruce Altman, 18, of 104 Mechanic St. and Michael Cochran, 21, of 248 Main St., Leominster, both posted bail after being charged with stealing a safe belonging to Altman’s father, Joseph Altman, 45, also of 104 Mechanic St. He told police he had been receiving threatening messages from Cochran, who had also pulled out a .22-caliber pistol and threatened to kill him if he didn’t sell some jewelry Cochran and Altman had stolen, Ledoux wrote.

Because he’ll snitch on you.

Then he doubled down and so did the rest of his shaft shining pals:

Telling a girl you don’t know that she’s not attractive enough to be sexually assaulted. Hilarious. Where does he come up with this material? He must’ve a big hit at the Walpole talent shows. Of course from the looks his “She’s 16 but she’ll be 17 in June” chin strap, rape seems to be something he’s probably familiar with.

Bro, is this real? Well, he is a violent felon who clearly has no regard for human life. So yea, I certainly wouldn’t put rape past him John Conor. Way to stand up for your boy though, I’m sure your girlfriend and kids are gonna be proud of you when they read this.

The bottom line is, if you’re gonna make offensive jokes, then make sure they’re funny. And if you’re gonna make jokes about raping a girl who is too inebriated to stand up, make sure you don’t have a shitload of Google trophies. Because this is like a recipe for becoming Turtleboy famous.

21 Comment(s)
  • Donald John Trummp
    April 4, 2018 at 10:19 am

    Big league douchebags need to be JAILED or DEPORTED. Sad to see America being taken over by these people!

  • panzer9811
    March 29, 2018 at 8:44 am

    That first picture………the squinty eyed, self-admiring, look on his face….thumb crammed in front pocket, wires hanging in the foreground of where else……..the corner of the bathroom. (Don’t any of these narcissistic selfie junkies have mirrors in other rooms?)
    That first picture sent my douche-a-meter into critical high-threat psychopath type alert.
    That poor girl in the tub looks like she is about 14 years old.
    The fact that this maggot “joked” about raping her, (and others), his criminal history, and blatant lack of remorse, tells me one thing.
    There is only one cure for Mr. Cochran…….a six foot hole in the ground.

  • Mark D
    March 29, 2018 at 12:07 am

    Pito Singh smells like curry

  • Lily
    March 28, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    This guy is such a loser that if he decided to kill himself, I could sleep at night because I never TOLD HIM to do it. Just sayin’. Little jail cell ass fucker.

  • Pro-Tip
    March 28, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    Getting raped is a serious concern for turtleboy. If their identities were ever exposed, Wooster’s finest would definitely line up to forcibly sodomize their assholes.

  • Joe
    March 28, 2018 at 6:49 pm

    Probably a red pill guy who reads Roosh Vs blog.

  • Jinxie
    March 28, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    What a piece of shit fuckstick hardo wannabe. Here’s some humor he might understand: Rape this smashed asshole while he’s lacing his Jordans in his shitbox car. He’s asking for it. LoL
    Ugh.

  • Rick Shaw
    March 28, 2018 at 4:16 pm

    Yet another piece of human garbage. I hope when he gets thrown in jail the next time, he gets gang raped by a group of dudes carrying the AIDS virus.

    • Jimmy
      March 28, 2018 at 5:24 pm

      Wow that just got weird yp u may need to get help

  • Colonel Klink
    March 28, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    I’d bet the farm asshat will be back in the clink before the end of the year.

  • Finn
    March 28, 2018 at 2:33 pm

    Only a matter of time before he’s back (raped) in prison. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m marking my calendar. He’s quite the shitstain.

  • Nun Ya
    March 28, 2018 at 2:08 pm

    “”John Conors real name is Inderpal Singh, goes by Pito Singh. He is a LOSER!! 2 baby mamas and doesn’t take care of either of his kids. No real job and the only reason hes with that girl in the photo is cuz he needs a place to live!!!! HE’S A REAL BUM!!

    • Jimmy
      March 28, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      Rape jokes are not funny

  • budman
    March 28, 2018 at 1:54 pm

    All i am seeing here is some girl that is a snowflake didnt like what someone was joking about. Who cares what other people say on social media? Stop trying to make it a big thing when you have no proof if he is kidding or not. I dont live in mass or know this guy, but i do know a snowflake when i see one. Ive said some pretty weird shit online a few times, but when someone calls me out i just laugh at them and explain in a way that they were melting for no reason. calm down and stop taking everything you see or hear seriously. this story is definately not turtleboy worthy.

    • ChrisInShrewsbury
      March 28, 2018 at 2:20 pm

      While I don’t believe his commentary is in direct violation of his Probation: It’s a verifiable public comment that WILL be considered an aggravating factor for (likely) future transgressions of Probation conditions.

      At a minimum, his PO should be informed so this can be documented.

    • Finn
      March 28, 2018 at 2:40 pm

      Budman,

      You’re an idiot. Anti-rape is not being a snowflake. An unwarranted sense of entitlement, or someone unable to deal with opposing opinions is the clear definition of a snowflake. She clearly doesn’t fit into that category.

      He’s a fucking loser with zero redeemable qualities.

      Get Fucked,
      Finn

      • Not budman
        March 28, 2018 at 3:58 pm

        Finn,

        While I agree 100% being anti-rape is not being a snowflake. Getting hurt or triggered over words online is. Just saying.

        I don’t agree with what was said at all but if you can’t handle Facebook trolls, might want to just delete it. And I agree this story was lame.

        Have a good day,
        Not Budman

        • Finn
          March 28, 2018 at 4:36 pm

          Not Budman,

          No one was “triggered”. God I fucking hate that word. She called out a douche-bag for being the dumb asshole he is. Nothing more, nothing less. You’re just offended because she called him out.

          Since when is posting a picture of a woman who is almost comatose and then “joking” about raping her considered merely “trolling”? Were you raised by wolves?

          Also, she can’t delete it — she didn’t post it. He did. Dummy. Funny how that works.

          I’d be curious to see how you’d react if that were your sister/mother/aunt/daughter in that tub. Just sayin’…

          Fondly,
          Finn

          • Not Budman
            March 28, 2018 at 5:09 pm

            Finn,

            Wrong. I’m not offended at all. I don’t let anything on the internet offend me because it’s not worth it. Also, I was saying delete Facebook in general if you can’t handle it, not the post.

            It is trolling because he is doing it to get people to react = trolling.

            Also, he never posted posted that video at the top of the picture you can say it says Joshua.

            Once again I’m not agreeing with what was said or saying it’s ok, I know people who have been through it, and ya it’s not something to joke about, but you can’t take shit you read on the internet seriously enough to let it ruin your day. Orrrr you can…. your choice.

            Best wishes,
            Not Budman

      • Jimmy
        March 28, 2018 at 5:23 pm

        Stfu

      • Jimmy
        March 28, 2018 at 5:29 pm

        Cry babys ass grown adults whining over dumb internet talk lmao your lives must be so perfect that you have time to take out of your day to cry over the internet

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron