Local Boob Who Stole Half A Pizza, Tray From Antonio’s, Probably Shouldn’t Have Posted Pics Of Crime On Twitter

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As a UMass man, Turtleboy is a huge fan of Antonio’s Pizza. The fact that it’s not only in Worcester, but also serves booze and calzones on top of their world famous pizza by the slice, is almost too good to be true. That’s why this tweet offended us so much:

What a moron. Not only is he an assbag for stealing food and thus driving up the price that everyone else has to pay, he was dumb enough to post it on social media for the world to see. Smart move. Sure he could’ve just eaten his stolen pizza, which he clearly has had enough of over the years, but instead he had to gloat about it and now he’s busted on Turtleboy. And just in case he smartens up (which I highly doubt he will) we screenshotted it for the archives:



According to whoever runs the Antonio’s Facebook page they have identified the perp and his name is “Rubey.” They’ve offered to call it even if he brings back the tray.


I dunno if he’s gonna be able to, because according to the Twitter machine he is very busy looking fresh out the coke house:


Not sure what that means, but it sounds important.

He also may not be able bring the tray back because he’s busy taking a “trap nap”


Which may or may not be a nap with a trap queen.

Or he might not make it in because he’s got a very productive day planned:


And I literally have no clue what this means either:


But he might’ve thrown the tray in the trash? I dunno. Not sure. Turtleboy does not speak ratchet.

Anyway, from the looks of it he responded after Antonio’s outed him, and he’s agreed to return the tray:


See, this is why a Turtleboy would fail within weeks. We’d be so bad at customer service. It’s just not what we’re good at. Being able to laugh something like this off and call some guy who stole half a pizza and a tray a “great customer” is just not something we are capable of doing. This is why Antonio’s is gonna survive for a long time. Because when you steal from them they compliment you. It’s got a very “what would Jesus do” ring to it.


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9 Comment(s)
  • BobnMic
    September 10, 2016 at 7:25 am

    This story really strikes a nerve with me. I was on vacation in Italy one day when I invented Pizza. FIESTY I LOVE YOU! I once made a heart shaped pizza and wrote BobnMic + Fiesty 4eva with slices of pepperoni on it. That was the good ol’ days when Fiesty would write PM’s to me talking about how she wanted to make love to me in a Pizza Hut bathroom stall or some other classy place like that.

  • Publius
    September 9, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    Been there four times. If Worcester trash becomes the clientele might not be #5.

  • Jimmy
    September 9, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    If Antonio’s doesn’t care why do you?

    • Jake from Statefarm
      September 11, 2016 at 6:05 am

      I hope someone steals from you ….. And I won’t care

  • Reddog
    September 9, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Just another millennial punk.

  • Smell Me Sideways
    September 9, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    I woulda trespassed him from the restaurant…steal food and the pan.. but yet he’s a great customer? I’m with TB .. sorry.. NO PIZZA FOR YOU! YOU COME BACK- ONE YEAR! … maybe I’m a bit of a Pizza Nazi…

  • Fatfingr Lou
    September 9, 2016 at 6:27 pm

    Stealing food should have extrajudicial and ancient consequences.

    If I was truly starving, I would thank god for the special dinner of a roasted thief.

  • BobnMic
    September 9, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    Shit that Pizza looks pretty damn good. I now know what I’m having for diner tonight. Just four slices for this pudgy little prick? He can better than that. He could devour two full pies PLUS a calzone let’s be real. Plus dessert especially if he just smoked a big fatty. Just sayin.’

    • BobnMic go away
      September 10, 2016 at 6:18 am

      We don’t GAFF whatyou have to say. STFU!

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