Nudniks

Magical Taunton Man Gives Hilarious Reason For Confederate Flag In His Front Yard

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We found the most magical redneck you will ever read about in the Tuanton Gazette today. Excerpts are in italics and our rational thoughts follow in bold.

It was late Tuesday afternoon when Edward Filipiak took down his two Confederate flags. One was sharing a pole underneath an American flag in his Myricks Street front yard, and another was flying under the same setup in his backyard. That left another half-dozen flags, among them POW/MIA and Taunton’s Liberty and Union, to flap in the breeze.

But after sleeping on it and giving it plenty of thought, Filipiak reversed his previous conciliatory gesture. Within a day and a half of his taking down those symbols of the long-gone Southern Confederacy, they’d been hoisted back up their respective poles.

“The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got,” he said.

Filipiak had taken down the Confederate flags after being informed that Taunton City Councilor Sherry Costa Hanlon had expressed outrage that at least a handful of Taunton-area homeowners were flying or displaying an image that many Americans view as synonymous with anti-black, pro-slavery sentiment.

He wasn’t happy about removing them from public view, never mind that there’s been a national backlash against displaying the so-called “Blood-Stained Banner” ever since a white 21-year-old man last week shot to death nine black men and women inside a church in Charleston, South Carolina.

Filipiak insists the easily recognizable Confederate States flag canton — with its blue-saltire, diagonal cross and 13 stars — has never represented anything to him other than what he calls a “Southern attitude” of good manners and fair play.

Oh OK. Well, as long as that’s all that flag represents to him, I guess that’s all that matters right? I’m gonna go hang a Nazi flag in my front yard because to me it represents good German sausage and love of the fatherland. Sure, the confederate flag represents treason and state’s rights to enslave black people. But as long as Ed Filipiak chooses to interpret it in his own delusional way, it doesn’t really matter what it REALLY stands for.

Nice-Confederate-flag

“You hear ‘yes sir and yes ma’am’ more times in a few minutes down there than you do in a year up here,” the 60-year-old Baltimore native said.

Yea, who cares if they participated in the biggest genocide in the Western Hemishpere’s history, started the deadliest war in American history because they didn’t feel like paying for labor costs, and then instituted 100 years of illegal systematic oppression? None of that stuff matters because they end every sentence with “yes ma’am.”

He’s also bothered by the number of flags of other nations that he claims he sees in front of houses nowadays.

Oh sweet Jesus. Yea, waving the flag of the nation of your origin is MUCH worse than waving the flag of a treasonous group of assholes and pussies who surrendered because General Grant shoved his boot up their ass.

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And people around here NEVER wave the flags of other countries in government sanctioned celebrations:

boston parade

Dora Filipiak describes her husband as “the most patriotic man I’ve ever known” and notes that they have a son who is in the Army National Guard.

Patriotic. Right. Because nothing says “patriotism” more than proudly waving the flag of a terrorist group who declared war on the United States and got their asses kicked. 

She said she recently invited a black friend over to the house. When the woman’s boyfriend saw the Confederate flag, Dora said he was somewhat taken aback.

Ahh yes, the “I have a black friend card.” Is that you Old Balls? Yea, that will tend to backfire when you invite him over for dinner and he’s greeted by a confederate flag on the lawn. You know, because of the slavery and all. 

“He says: ‘Does he (my husband) have an issue?’ I told him, ‘Hell no.’”

I believe her. Eddy has no issue with black people. His issue is with mental health, because apparently he thought it would be wise to hang a confederate flag on his front lawn and then invite his token black friend over for dinner. 

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Filipiak also claims the Civil War was less about slavery, which he described as “a popular issue,” and more about states’ rights.

LOL. This is my favorite argument from morons who think they understand history. “States rights.” Yes, indeed the Civil War was largely an issue of states rights. Particularly the right of individual states to enslave black people due to a misplaced belief in racial superiority. Besides that you’re spot on. 

In all honesty, I’ve read a lot of people defending the confederate flag in the north, and I just don’t get it. But this guy takes the cake. It’s like, if you live up here, you should HATE that flag. Imagine going around waving the flag of Al-Qaeda after 9/11, except much worse. If you were alive and living in Massachusetts 150 years ago, and you got drafted, which you almost definitely would have been, there’s a really good chance some redneck from Alabama would gut you to pieces to honor that flag. And here you are in Goddamn TAUNTON acting like that flag somehow represents you. 

We get it dude. You’re a Republican. Big deal, lots of normal people are Republicans. But this is just such a stupid, stupid issue to hitch your wagon to. Take a deep breath and let it go, because just like that imaginary country which never existed, that flag is done. 

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10 Comment(s)
  • The Philistine
    June 27, 2015 at 11:01 pm

    The biggest genocide in the history of the Wedtern Hemisphere is the treatment of the Natives. Stars and Stripes has a darker history there.

  • 1nf1del
    June 27, 2015 at 2:36 pm

    So your feelings are hurt by a flag? And by the way, yes you certainly have the right to hang a Nazi flag in your yard if you choose! This isn’t about what’s PC or what hurts your feelings, this is fucking AMERICA, the LAND OF TH FREE! Anybody remember that? Get the fuck over your hurt feelings and shut up!

    • Jafreese
      June 27, 2015 at 8:30 pm

      Sound like you got hurt feelings and should shut the fuck up too then.

      Yes people have a right to hang any flag of they want. But others have the right to say they disagree with it too.

      If we can’t say we disagree with something, then you don’t have a right to say you disagree with the blog , which is free speech, right?

      • 1nf1del
        June 27, 2015 at 10:21 pm

        Whatever man, I never said people didn’t have the right to voice their opinion, did I? If you got hurt feelings and gotta bitch over a flag than you got bigger problems, maybe you need therapy!

    • ms
      June 28, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      I generally agree with the TBS views but you are over the top on this rant. Three weeks ago no one would have cared about these flags, now because some redneck killed some black people it is on the top of this country agenda.

      You would think this was the flag of the KKK with the type of press it is getting. This country was built on free speech and you should be able to fly any flag you want.

  • Union is #1
    June 27, 2015 at 10:29 am

    My favorite part was when the union made general Lee’s yard a cemetery lmao! That’s the biggest FU!!!

    • Wabbitt
      wabbitt
      June 27, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      And it wasn’t even Lee’s property. Arlington was owned by his wife.

      Lee was basically a broke colonel who married into money.

      • Jack
        July 1, 2015 at 2:53 pm

        Sorta like that stupid f$ck, John Kerry

  • Jafreese
    June 27, 2015 at 9:22 am

    If you asked these same questions to these same people before all this controversy began, most would have completely different answers. And if they were honest would just say they saw it on a truck once and it looked cool.

  • File under WTF
    June 27, 2015 at 5:53 am

    Really well done. Nice dissection of an idiot’s excuses for waving his bigot flag.

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