Nudniks

Maude The Fraud Has Lost Her Sponsorships, Every Race Director Has Taken Her Off Their Site, And She’s Gone Completely Private On IG And Facebook

"I Am Turtleboy" now available on Amazon

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Forever, and Clarence Woods Emerson to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at [email protected] for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:




 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all.

 

First of all, Seven Seas Roasting has officially cut off ties with her after they were bombarded with 1 star reviews on their Facebook page:

So that’s two things we accomplished yesterday – 1) a veteran owned business stopped using this faux-Patriotic liar as their spokesperson, and 2) The US Skyrunning team will not be bringing her to Scotland as part of their team anymore, because she’s actually pretty slow when she’s not cheating and lying.

Secondly, Maude has also made her Facebook page completely private, along with her IG:

Which is gonna make it difficult for her to find new people to lie to so they will kiss her ass. If you are currently a follower of her and she posts anything crazy that you feel would be a good update, let us know. She took down all images relating to running before going private, because she’s been outed as the fraud that she is. Because the account is private and pics were taken down, many of the images we embedded on previous blogs about her are now gone, so those blog might look weird. Don’t worry though, we screenshotted a bunch of shit because this isn’t our first rodeo.

Thirdly, a number of race directors have disqualified her from races in which they were previously suspicious of her cheating:

Her times were extremely shady. For instance, look what percentile she finishes in in various races she’s run:

You don’t finish in the 24th percentile in one race and then the 100th three weeks later. She cheated in one, and ran legit in the other.

Last week she “won” a 50K race in Easton:

Except look at her splits:

They do 5 loops of 10 kilometers and a chip tracks their time each time they start a new loop. Her five loops were 1:13, 1:15, 0:52, 1:25, and 0:58. In other words, she cheated on the 3rd and 5th loop. Any experienced runner knows that you don’t just cut off 23 minutes on a loop, then add 33 minutes, then subtract 27 minutes. Splits are generally consistent, and if anything get slightly slower as the race goes on. Notice her time after four loops is 23 minutes behind the leader. Yet she ended up beating him by 8 minutes, because Maude the Fraud doesn’t chase men, she beats them.

Also notice the 2nd to 5th place finisher’s splits –

1:03, 1:04, 107, 1:18, 1:29

1:08, 1:12, 1:16, 1:14, 1:45

1:11, 1:14, 1:22, 1:31, 1:27

1:11, 1:20, 1:23, 1:16, 1:38

All of them get slower as the race goes on, because it’s a long freaking race. All of them except Maude who miraculously ran under 1:00 for her final loop.

After two loops the first place woman was 7 minutes ahead of Maude. After three loops she was 24 minutes behind. The crazy part is that after four loops Maude was still in first place for women by 15 minutes. She possibly could’ve won legit from that point on, but she wanted to beat the three other men too. Because being the strong, independent woman who isn’t afraid to attack the patriarchy is a big part of her schtick.

For that reason she’s been disqualified and taken off their page:

The people who run these races train their asses off and deserve the recognition that Maude stole from them. Mission accomplished.

Podcast:

https://soundcloud.com/user-802220622/vacation-week-maude-the-fraud

35 Comment(s)
  • vicxh
    August 13, 2018 at 2:32 pm

    I googled up her stats on a modeling page
    Age: 24
    Height: 5′ (152.4 cm)
    Waist: 25″ (63.5 cm)
    Hair Color: Blonde
    Eye Color: Blue
    Shoe Size: 6.5 (39.5 EU)
    Hips: 33″ (83.8 cm)
    Bust: 32″ (81.3 cm)
    Cup Size: A
    Dress Size: 0

    I would say those are very nice stats with exception of the cup size. It’s a pity she is cray cray, she could have made many men very happy lol

    • Big titty committee
      August 13, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      A nice set of D cups would fit her well.

  • Ricardo of Rochvegas
    August 11, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    Maude senses the jig is up and is headed for deep cover. Not to worry, she wil resurface. There’s no way an attention whore of this magnitude can resist the me me me show for long.

  • Jaxson Cooper Grayson Rodriguez III
    August 10, 2018 at 10:24 pm

    Jesus Christ, who names their child Maude? Were Bertha and Gertrude the other 2 names being considered? I thought douchey names were only a last 10 year syndrome

  • Kevin Cullen
    August 10, 2018 at 8:25 am

    I was there. During one race she ran right through sullys bar in Southie while I was having a beer and a good cry with my first responder friends and Ricky Q from the medical tent.

  • T.R.
    August 10, 2018 at 12:05 am

    I’d line bore that colon with an emphasis on duration rather than speed.

    • Mike Barnicle
      October 19, 2018 at 8:23 am

      I was there too Kevin. Tipping a few cold ones with some cop friends of mine. Good for her on first place. So brave.

  • Publius
    August 9, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    Maura Healey said all that matters is the fake narrative not Maude’s frauds.

  • Stormy Stan
    August 9, 2018 at 11:24 pm

    I have a side job for her if she’s interested. Wood.

  • Go Trump Go
    August 9, 2018 at 2:16 pm

    Michael(fatboy) Moore says fuck hope. He gave up on hope.
    Well fat boy the American people gave up on hope and change in yo pocket president and voted in Trump. GOD BLESS DONSLD TRUMP AND GOD BLESS AMERICA.

    • Jim
      August 9, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      He gave up all hope on a diet

  • CrispyC
    August 9, 2018 at 1:14 pm

    This chick believes lying and her “brand” (fucking millenials!!) are more important than hard work, honesty, integrity, and humility.

    Thanks to Turtleboy her “brand” is now done. If she were a cereal her brand would be “Cheaties”.

    Next stop for her is probably a legal name change, maybe a move to another part of the country (Cali baby!!) and building up the brand on her new life and hopefully not getting noticed by the Turt. I don’t think she can go on like this and I don’t see her changing … maybe she offs herself as another alternative.

    Ps – given how fake she is I am surprised she didn’t get fake tits and tell everyone they are real.

    • Hughbo Mont
      August 9, 2018 at 1:28 pm

      She’s part of the everyone gets a trophy generation. And when she grew up and the trophies stopped, she had to do something – and then some.

  • TB Fan
    August 9, 2018 at 1:06 pm

    I just read Maude’s humble brag post on the Spartan Race website and nearly puked. She says she “lives in the service of others” and says “I was a 13 year old girl who thought I’d been left for dead”. She goes on to talk about a past suicide attempt with Benedryl.

    TB, keep digging. I bet my left arm there’s more to uncover with this chick.

    • JJ
      August 9, 2018 at 3:02 pm

      Tsk Tsk. You guys screaming “those damn millennial’s!” just take away from your argument. You really think people are as deranged as this chick just because we’re in the same generation? Come on man… Wait who were the ones complaining about not getting a trophy? Oh yea its the parents that bitched and moaned while the kids were picking grass waiting to go home to watch cartoons.

      Maybe I’m doing the same thing screaming, “those damn Boomer’s!” but Jesus am I sick of being generalized.

      The issue here is social media. I see it affecting my old ass aunts and uncles just as much as my young cousins and everyone in between. Read some other comments in this thread and they explain it better than I can.

      • Jackie
        August 9, 2018 at 8:45 pm

        Thank you JJ. Hate being generalized too. I’m 30 but still considered a millennial and I hate it. Not every “millenial” is an entitled, spoiled, crybaby.

      • Bertha Von Nation
        August 10, 2018 at 9:01 am

        This is true. I am not a millenial, but my kids are, and I watched all the crybaby parents ruin their “precious angels” by demanding trophies for all. Luckily, my kids weren’t into sports, so I never had to deal with all the Little League parent melees or soccer mom wine diet, holier than thou bitch faces. My kids grew up to be scientists, engineers a couple of IT peeps, oh, and I got a plumber! SCORE! Eat your avacdo toast proudly, my friend!

  • ChrisInShrewsbury
    August 9, 2018 at 11:57 am

    Seven Seas Roasting: These guys seem like legit good dudes that got duped like everyone else. I’d put money on Rob Culhane tapping that ass. Good for you Rob.

    Rape: Her egregious deceit could be the result of being gang raped, but examining the claim, I expect that’s a lie too.

    CMASAS: Watching Maude’s 2017 Commencement speech for this “Online High School” was fucking gold. Lord Jesus, WTF is this community?

    Maude: Wood and Would; Between that Belly Button and Face, gotta hit it from behind.

  • coach poundtown
    August 9, 2018 at 11:56 am

    Now that she’s been exposed for the fraud she is, she will work a pole, be an escort, or move to LA and do porn. Or some combination of all of the above.

    • Bill Clinton
      August 9, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      What’s her pornhub link? Asking for a friend

      • Anthony Weiner
        August 9, 2018 at 4:38 pm

        I’m texting you the link, old friend.

  • Stunt Penis
    August 9, 2018 at 11:04 am

    This chick is a product of the scourge on society known as social media. Social media gives her an outlet where people could constantly blow smoke up her ass telling her how wonderful she is, and feeds her innate narcissism.

    Still wood, though, although, I’d use a fake name.

    • Sir Wilfred Death
      August 9, 2018 at 12:16 pm

      Social Media is a bleeding pustule on the body politic. It will be the ruin of a generation of young people and perhaps our republic. Please close your accounts now.

    • z
      August 9, 2018 at 1:48 pm

      Her “real” world is the square 2-D box that she filters everything through. The “Meat” world we all live in is just a prop for her world.

      Pull this chicks phone, tablet and computer away from her for a couple of months and she’d either get better or off herself.
      I doubt she would remain the same.

      Nowadays we say, “If there’s no photo or video it didn’t happen.”

      Watch the tools behind homeplate at Fenway Park with their phones. They paid top dollar for the seats and half of them are glued to their phones. Probably watching the game they are attending.

  • WarrenPeace
    August 9, 2018 at 10:53 am

    I sort of feel bad for her she is obviously dain bramaged.

  • Y
    August 9, 2018 at 10:44 am

  • Emmett Brown
    August 9, 2018 at 10:28 am

    Eventually she’s going to need someone or something to blame for her behavior. Will she go back to cancer or the gangbang? Or will she get creative and go with how she was assaulted as a child? I can’t believe nobody questioned her “wins” in her earlier races. Must’ve felt real proud on that podium. Gross.

    • Richard Cranium
      August 9, 2018 at 1:49 pm

      She was gang raped by her team of oncologists, twice. But didnt tell anyone until now.

  • Richard "The King" Petty
    August 9, 2018 at 10:19 am

    Number 43 is for winners. It ain’t for slowpokes and cheaters, Yankee.

  • hank
    August 9, 2018 at 10:15 am

    When a crazy narcissist gets exposed things usually don’t end well. But when that crazy narcissist is a young hot woman who now has nothing to lose, you better get a panic room installed in your house because all bets are off. She has a nice little caboose though. Shame.

    • Finn
      August 9, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Hank,

      I’m not quite so sure. TBS is the only news source with the balls to call her out. If you google her name, she still comes out smelling like roses. Funny how egos (journalist egos) can’t muster up the mea mulpa to say they were wrong.

      Funny world we live in.

      Fondly,
      Finn

      • hank
        August 9, 2018 at 11:32 am

        100% agreed which is why I come here. There’s no shortage of stupidity and lies on social media so it’s refreshing to be able to laugh at them all, here in the same place. But there’s nothing scarier than a mental person who shouts about their virtuousness 24/7 suddenly going radio silent. That’s the thing about crazy. It usually seems normal until it isn’t. And there’s nothing normal about this chick. For the media though, you don’t have to be right. You just need to be first. Fuck facts when they get in the way.

        • Hughbo Mont
          August 9, 2018 at 1:24 pm

          The media today is a race for “clicks” and advertising $$$ based on click count. And most of the media cheats in the click race just like she cheats. Facks? Nah, no need. No more money comes in with facks involved.

    • Rockets Redglare
      August 9, 2018 at 11:47 am

      A young hot woman? No doubt you could fing a hotter chick shoping at Good Will. At best she”s a last call barfly hottie.
      TB should aim for more national exposure. Perhaps a call to CNN asking them to explain why they chose to glorify a lying bitch.
      TB destroys another millenial shitbag, I’m impressed..

  • TJB
    August 9, 2018 at 10:11 am

    I am a poor person who self~identifies as a rich man who travels the world and never has to work.
    Send me money.
    TJB

Comment on this Post

*

RELATED POSTS
Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron