Nudniks

Meet Alexander Flores: The Great Barrier Queef Who Parked His Car Next To A Lawrence Fire Hydrant During A 3 Alarm Fire

 

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We’ve identified the great barrier queef whose Honda Accord got penetrated by the Lawrence Fire Department because the driver parked next to a fire hydrant during a three alarm fire.

The worst part about this is that there’s no cars behind him. A friggin big rig could parallel park between him and the closest vehicle. He chose to park next to the fire hydrant because this is Lawrence and there are no rules. That and he’s a lazy piece of shit.

Our Lawrence turtle riders sent us pictures of him getting back to the car and finding out the hard way that he now drives a hoordat convertible.

Flam brimmed hat. Like clockwork.

The car is registered to 40 year old Alexander Flores of Lawrence, which is like being named Karen at pilates class in Wellesley, so it’s never easy to track these people down on Facebook. But that beard sure looks familiar from this Facebook profile.

It’s shitty that he parked next to a fire hydrant, but the real crime here is a 40 year old man who still wears flat brimmed hats.

 

 

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49 Comment(s)
  • Snotwad
    July 2, 2019 at 9:21 am

    It would be sweet if the Fire Dept put a few pin holes in that hose inside the car.

  • Cool Hand Loco
    June 26, 2019 at 8:59 am

    A prison convert to Muslim prison gang after kicked out of Latin Kings. Less pathetic than a white guy convert to Muslim prison gang, but still pathetic.

  • Hart Ford
    June 26, 2019 at 5:48 am

    Just the best of foreign immigration. Just looking for a better life. Must be a banker.

  • ANGRY GIANT
    June 26, 2019 at 12:16 am

    I ain’t sure you got the right guy. Look at the guy at the hydrant, arms and chest looks like he lifts. Look at the facebook pictures of the guy on his profile, arms nothing at all like the dude. Guys that lift don’t have facebook pictures with small arms. Face seems a bit different, but maybe it is just the angles. Maybe a fake name on the registration.

  • MAGA
    June 25, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    Call ICE.

  • Ratchet Rollins D.A.
    June 25, 2019 at 10:13 pm

    You racists dont understand his culture. His culture allows him to disrespect your rules and culture. I can tell you this. I wont prosecute.

  • Liawatha
    June 25, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    My heart goes out to poor Alexander. These Lawrence thugs should have surveyed the neighborhood, going door to door, to find the car’s rightful owner. I’m sure Alexander would have been more than happy to move his vehicle. Instead the oppressive Lawrence FD used violence and scare tactics to intimidate a minority. smh #Stop The Hate.

    • TD
      June 25, 2019 at 10:28 pm

      Shut up you fucking idiot…you are just as dumb as him.. it’s simple,if you aren’t supposed to park next to a fire hydrant ,then DON’T..but your too dumb to see anything wrong with that! ONLY a complete idiot would call the F.D thugsor even think anyone has time like that to go to hundreds and hundreds of doors..lol.. ..if it is ever your loved one in a fire I’m sure you would be thankful for them to come to the rescue ,reguardless of your stupidity or his, they got a job to do.put fires out…im sure you don’t even work, you loser! .idk why you talk about people who do.

      • chill
        June 25, 2019 at 10:32 pm

        bro I’m on the spectrum and even I picked up on that sarcasm from Liawatha…

        • TD
          June 25, 2019 at 10:46 pm

          Ok.. but I’m not a bro..I’ve never been called that before.. I’m definitely not a guy.

          • F*U
            June 26, 2019 at 5:45 am

            Oh no! Another self-identification issue? Drongo

      • Myrtle The Turtle
        June 25, 2019 at 11:58 pm

        TD,
        You are really good at understanding sarcasm. I don’t think this website is for you. Go read CNN. Afterall, they are the real news.
        Sincerely,
        The grown and sexy Riders.

        • Dick_Hertz
          June 26, 2019 at 2:53 pm

          Which pronoun are you?

      • Big Wick
        June 26, 2019 at 10:13 am

        TRIGGERED! You must be new here. We Turtle Riders already know what Liawatha is all about. From your vitriolic responses, you must have missed your latest dose of med’s. Also, I think we can accurately guess your genetic ancestry.

        • Dick Scratcher
          June 26, 2019 at 10:30 am

          I’m guessing that genetic ancestry = massive twAT.

          TD is having a real shocker today, my friend. 🙂

      • WeRFucked
        June 26, 2019 at 12:35 pm

        Total Douche?

      • Sarcasm
        June 27, 2019 at 1:02 pm

        TD you must be new here and not that bright. I don’t think this is the blog for you.

    • TD
      June 25, 2019 at 10:33 pm

      Also, fuck that bullshit about minority because the driver could of been ANY COLOR .they surely didn’t know or care ..that hose was getting turned on no matter what race the driver of the car was*****…he showed up later so that obviously shows it has nothing to do with minority YOU STUPID FUCK .!!!

      • Gonad The Grammarian
        June 26, 2019 at 1:28 am

        Could have or could’ve NOT could of you stupid fuck.

        • noah webster from the great beyond
          June 26, 2019 at 12:04 pm

          you sir have earned one of my fine leather bound dictionaries

      • Dick Scratcher
        June 26, 2019 at 5:29 am

        TD,

        The whooshing noise you hear all day is the sound of everything going over your head.

        Now, off you fuck, there’s a lamb.

        • Well, No Shit
          June 26, 2019 at 8:17 am

          “There’s a lamb.”

          I read that with an English accent, and I’m fucking dying over here! LMAO!

      • FFS
        June 26, 2019 at 11:14 am

        Had the same thing happened to a Volvo wagon in Wellesley people would have assumed it was a white chick and you’d be reading all sorts of Becky, yoga, latte, short haircut jokes and nobody would by crying racism.

      • TD = Total Douche
        June 26, 2019 at 12:02 pm

        That’ll do, pig.

      • Sarcasm
        June 27, 2019 at 1:13 pm

        Hahahahaha. TD you just made my day with how stupid you sound. Hahahahaha!!! I. CANT. STOP. LAUGHING.

      • rte2tentresident
        June 29, 2019 at 12:36 am

        Mom? Is that you?

  • CrispyC
    June 25, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    Oh no you guys killed my Ghetto Glider!

  • Julie the Jarhead
    June 25, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    “Self employed” — Shocker.

    • We Kniw
      June 26, 2019 at 4:46 pm

      Speaking of employment, any luck with the job hunt?
      Or fuck it you’ve never worked, why start now

  • Si Se Puede!
    June 25, 2019 at 7:43 pm

    no problema Gringos I go to North Andover or Methuen and steal 2 new windows, he he he he he. Si Se Puede YO!

  • The Amazing Randi
    June 25, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    I already knew what he looked like before I read this.

  • JoeMomma
    June 25, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    I hope they remembered to give him his parting gift….
    A ticket for parking within 10 feet of a hydrant.

  • faggot spic
    June 25, 2019 at 6:44 pm

    he looks like am fucking asshole with hair. Lawrence is a lost cause full of lazy fucking spics

    • Triggered Conservative
      June 26, 2019 at 11:31 am

      I love this blog, I love the comments, and I’ve given money to the cause but the fact that you got 29 upvotes is the reason why I’ll probably never purchase any gear. Wearing it would be bad for my image.

  • Ted Baxter
    June 25, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    A feel good story. How psyched we’re those firefighters.

    • Linda
      June 25, 2019 at 9:05 pm

      were

      • Conan the Grammarian
        June 26, 2019 at 10:08 am

        Unless Ted and his buds WERE actually the ones who played Fun With Windows… BTW NOT a Microsoft app. 🙂

  • ncfoothillbilly
    June 25, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    From the looks of the way he parked here, Im willing to wager that hes one of those assholes that parks at a 45 degree angle across two parking spaces at the store.

    • TheCureForHope
      June 25, 2019 at 7:42 pm

      Easy to miss – it might even had been only in the original story, but the dude did an award winning parallel park.

      Problem was that even after the FF broke the windows, they still couldn’t get the hose through because the car was parked so close to the curb. Several guys actually lifted and moved the front end so they could get the hose through without a huge kink.

      Hope insurance (assuming he has some, and that’s a BIG assumption) won’t pay. Next winter will be mighty chilly driving around like that.

      Or maybe he can barter some EBT’s and get it fixed.

  • Well, No Shit
    June 25, 2019 at 6:28 pm

    Well, no shit. Who would have guessed?

  • It don't sound like a V8
    June 25, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    I wonder if that 4 cylinder has the loud tin can muffler that sounds like farts. These idiots think they have muscle cars.

    • Maxwell House Muffler Co.
      June 25, 2019 at 9:35 pm

      Come now, that’s a fast car! It’s got a large 1.5 L engine with pistons the diameter of silver dollars. It’s FAST!

    • Hugh-Bo Mont
      June 26, 2019 at 3:07 pm

      Hey, those mufflers add 1HP!

  • John Blutarsky
    June 25, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    Like I said on the page looking to identify this fuck: Honda Accords are the preferred autos of hoodrats. Low and behold, a fucking hoodrat owns this one. Booyah!!!

  • Homo
    June 25, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    I bet that beard catches a lot of Sea Men.

  • Pearl Harbor
    June 25, 2019 at 6:14 pm

    Fags with fag beards drive Honda’s.

  • Go Back Home To Your own Shit Country!
    June 25, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Fucking Queer Douchbag. Go Fuck Yourself!!!!!!

  • Like Cockroaches, They're Everywhere
    June 25, 2019 at 6:12 pm

    Immigration status??
    You know he’s going to take his fucked up car and go away reeeaaal quietly. He knows how NOT to upset the ICE fairy.

  • San Jose
    June 25, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Ah yes, another islander here trying his best to make America great again!

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