Milky Mike Gaffney Posting “I’m 47 And Just A Millionaire” Might Be The Most Lonely And Pathetic Thing He Has Ever Done

This is the most insecure person who has ever lived:

“Hey, I’m 47 and just a millionaire.”

Imagine how sad, lonely, and pathetic you have to be to turn to Facebook and say, “I’m just a millionaire,” because you think it will impress people. Imagine posting that and the only person who liked it was your sad, pathetic, dumpy ginger pet that you call a wife?

But wait….I thought he was depressed? Didn’t Turtleboy make him sad? Isn’t that what he was suing for in the lawsuit? Emotional distress? Looks like the cure for depression is pretending to be a millionaire on Facebook.

It never gets old laughing at Mike Gaffney. This is a guy who spent 10 months suing us, and probably wasted tens of thousands of dollars, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, flying back and forth, preparing documents, answering discovery, and cursing his Uncle Turtleboy voodoo doll, only to lose.

For what it’s worth, there is NO WAY he is a millionaire. He all but abandoned his law firm and moved to Florida for “bigger opportunities.” Except there were no opportunities there so he moved to Dallas and got licensed to work in insurance. His wife Coreen was let go from her job at Hanover Insurance, they had nothing here, they knew they were going to lose, so they ran away. A normal person moves on with their life, but he has no life. So he flew back and forth for court days with Uncle and hilarious depositions. He lost the lawsuit so he teamed up with a woman beating dog killer, wrote a lawsuit for him, and even gave him an affidavit. His life is sad and pathetic, but he has to show the few remaining friends he has that life is going GREAT. He’s “just a millionaire.” Except he’s not. It’s also why he’s posting stuff like this:

Hey Mike, you can block the Emerson clan all you want, but you’re still Facebook friends with me. You just have no idea who I am. And like most of the people on your friends list secretly I am just laughing at you, so keep it up. Projecting looks so good on you.

This is all Mike Gaffney ever was – an empty, fake individual who was so desperate for acceptance that he latched onto the Turtle and did our bidding for us.


Now go get fat and cry about it bitch.


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32 Comment(s)
  • Brooklyn's iD is mine
    February 4, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    Jessica Collins is a lying whore who enjoys sucking sweaty dick and being slapped in the face when she’s done. Gaffney used her tired old single mom pussy and threw her away when he was caught. She is bitter, and enjoyed being second place to a woman who resembles carrot top, without the steroids.

  • Move on for Christ's Sake!!!
    February 4, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    Perhaps, you should move on???
    Just wondering what the ULTIMATE fascination is with Gaffney that you continually write about him???
    Feeling rejected by a past lover??? Does it PERSONALLY hurt your “feelz”?
    A semi-constant source of revenue that you are now regretting that you don’t have, and are scrambling to make up the lost revenue???
    You defeated him, but why the constant ridicule thereafter? Move THE FUCK on! For Christ’s Sake!!!
    Got nothing better to do?

  • Fung Chung Leung
    February 4, 2019 at 10:38 am

    This was a hilarious blog and the comments were just as fucked and funny. That is all. Thank you for your time.

  • Gaffney Blows Goats For Fun And Profit.
    February 4, 2019 at 7:35 am

    You should have photo shopped a straw into Talcum X’s hand to signify he was prepared to felch Milky Mike. The Men’s Health mag was a nice touch BTW.

  • Cir Cle
    February 3, 2019 at 10:37 pm

    I remember when TBS and the Gaff were fellating each other, trying to see who was bigger.

    Good times, good times.

    So sad to see friendships go away.

  • Publius
    February 3, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    Mike was creepy when I first met him in 2010. real creepy.

  • Your Move
    February 3, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    The pen is mightier than the sword swallower.

  • The Ghost of Payne Stewart
    February 3, 2019 at 2:29 pm

    Uncle TB, you are merciless. But the Milky “Millionaire” brought it on by being so damn douchie.

  • lone owl blues
    February 3, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    Milky Mikey is a pathetic POS!

  • Margaret is a Hack
    February 3, 2019 at 1:45 pm

    Do you know if said entrepreneur was of this net worth before the fall out? As was said in court, free speech, yeah sure, but these constant projections are libel. Sooner or later – in a competent court – will prevail. Who’s depressed? Seems you may be the one with emotional turmoil, seeing how have to blindly accuse of your blast mailing. 100 people would want to do that to you and you blame ______? Such a sad human specimen. Amazing your constituency does not see, you’re doing the very same thing to them, that you criticize others of using gofundme. Hiding behind the falsity of free speech. Survey says, majority take this wife before that other wife. Laughing last laugh and you sir know that is the truth. Last call, is Killoran legally retarded, or is he merely looking for the sympathy vote?

    • Not judging, I also smoke
      February 3, 2019 at 2:51 pm

      Dude, try to gather up your thoughts and have an idea of what you want to say before you post.

    • Becky
      February 4, 2019 at 5:29 am

      Did anyone else read this whiny sentagraph in white girl voice?

  • Postage Due
    February 3, 2019 at 1:12 pm

    Well at least Mike Gaffney didn’t lose hit shit and mail every single resident of Holden warning them of TBS. Oh wait…

  • Kip
    February 3, 2019 at 1:04 pm

    6.8 % of Mass residents are millionaires, aint that big a thing, but it doesn’t suck…

    • z
      February 3, 2019 at 3:50 pm

      I’d have to say that 5 million is when it starts to be a big thing.
      A million in 2019 is ‘nice’. That’s all it is.
      You don’t quit your job when you have a million.
      You still shop at Aldis, Walmart + Pricerite under 5 million.
      You still look at your grocery receipt when you get home to see
      if you got hosed on peanut butter under 5 million.
      You still drive your wheels into the ground under 5 million.

      Next up for Gaffney is a photo of a fan of 20s.

      • Kip
        February 3, 2019 at 5:49 pm

        Your exactly correct!

  • Liz Warrens crooked finger
    February 3, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    What is the purpose of this internet company?
    You should be giving 79.9% of your yearly earnings to the Government!

  • Liz Warrens crooked finger
    February 3, 2019 at 11:59 am

    This guy Gaffney is such a loser.
    Just look at him living in Florida and Texas for fun as if that’s cool.
    He only wishes he could be living in an apartment in Worcester and blogging shit all day about kids who like fishing and driving Jeeps.

  • Doesn't make sense
    February 3, 2019 at 11:39 am

    You say Gaffney is obsessed with you but you’re the one who blogs about him non stop.
    You’re the only one who gives a shit about this guy and his life making you the one who is obsessed.
    The name Uncle Turtleboy is so fucking creepy it screams pedophile. (come sit on Uncle Turtlboys lap little girl)

    Let me break it down for you little man. You’re jealous that he can afford to fly back and forth across the country for court dates while you can’t even afford to put gas in your sexy 2002 Nissan Maxima.

    • Captain Trips
      Captain Trips
      February 3, 2019 at 11:49 am

      No need to write in the 3rd person Mike. We know it’s you

      and Jessica Collins is a single mom who most men wouldn’t look at twice so I guess that’s the best you can get

    • Frosted pubes
      February 3, 2019 at 12:19 pm

      Hi Mike!

    • White Nationalist Turtle Rider
      February 3, 2019 at 4:42 pm

      PLEASE STOP with the “uncle turtleboy is a creepy name lol” BULLSHIT! He raped a four year old girl at a Bills game SO WHAT?!?! FUCK YOU!

  • Hugh-Bo Mont
    February 3, 2019 at 11:35 am

    Love it! Hi Mike!

    “Why did Mike poke the turtle?” LOL

  • Miss Wistah
    February 3, 2019 at 11:02 am

    Oh my goodness. Too bad it took this long to realize what a pretentious tool he is! Glancing at his page I found the incessant postings about Worcester a little creepy. Cut the cord dude. He really can’t let go can he?! You reek of restaurant selfies and lost legal cases. Hang it up buddy!

  • Burkhalter
    February 3, 2019 at 10:53 am

    I would say, that this is the final nail in the coffin. Hold a ceremony and put him in the Turtleboy Graveyard. Unless he files another lawsuit, he can’t hurt TB anymore. Time to bury him.

  • Thirsty
    February 3, 2019 at 10:46 am

    Pathetic but more common than you think. Working in finance I’ve seen guys so desperate to impress that they have accounts at multiple investment companies all of which have physical branch locations. They constantly move the same money back and fourth between accounts even though they know it looks like money laundering just because they enjoy the attention. I can’t say that I’ve seen someone go to Facebook and state it outright before.

  • Pathetic
    February 3, 2019 at 10:45 am

    This is sad and pathetic, Andean. You have nothing to write about so you decide to post about some smuck writing on his social media about his shit that may or may not be true? WHO CARES. This shit isn’t newsworthy. Stop taking your personal vendettas on people already lower than low. At the end of the day, you’re still a pathetic midget white kid with a small pecker seeking revenge for being a fucking geek your whole life. No wonder why people think you’re a joke.

    • Michael Hunt
      Mike Hunt
      February 3, 2019 at 11:19 am


    • School for Kids Who Can't Read Good
      February 3, 2019 at 12:12 pm

      Who is Andean? Your spelling is pathetic.

      • Who, Me?
        February 3, 2019 at 10:38 pm

        Try typing in the real spelling here…I’m betting it won’t be accepted.

    • Me
      February 3, 2019 at 12:18 pm

      How do you know TB has a small pecker?

  • Stunt Penis
    February 3, 2019 at 10:44 am

    Must be a slow news day.

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