Nudniks

Musty Uggs Browzilla Chokes Out Bouncer She Erroneously Believes Groped Her, Is Doubling Down On Her Story Despite Clear Video Footage Of Her Female Friend Being The Culprit, Because We All Must Always Believe Women Over Everything

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Musty Uggs Browzilla Chokes Out Bouncer She Erroneously Believed Groped Her, Is Doubling Down On Her Story Despite Clear Video Footage Of Her Female Friend Being The Culprit, Because We All Must Always Believe Women Over Everything

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This is Kierah Lagrave from Plattsburgh, NY.

 

Kierah is newsworthy not due to her chisel-tip sharpie brows, but because while out at a nightclub with some Pumpkin spice mafia gal pals, all 5 feet and 125 pounds of this bar brawling bruiser went all out aggro-uggs on a bouncer she thought had grabbed her ass.

Via Blue Lives Matter: 

“Surveillance footage from the club showed Lagrave, who stands just over five feet tall and weighs 125 pounds, standing with a female friend at the bar.

Lagrave began dancing, and her friend nonchalantly slapped her on the butt when Lagrave turned away from her.

“We were in the club, minding our own business and having fun,” she told the Daily Mail. “And then I feel a full-on grab on my right side butt cheek.”

Lagrave immediately stepped towards a nearby bouncer, wrapped her arms around his neck, and held on until the man lost consciousness and collapsed backwards onto the floor.

Her friend, who was ordering a drink, seemed to be unaware of the altercation taking place directly behind her until the bouncer hit the ground.

“My goal was not to hurt him,” Lagrave told the Daily Mail. “But to ensure my own safety.”

She explained that she was concerned the bouncer might have been trying to “slip something” into her drink.

“I wasn’t going to take any chances,” she said.

The bouncer later told police that he didn’t resist Lagrave because he thought she was one of his friends who was playing a joke on him, the Associated Press reported.

When questioned by police, Lagrave admitted she choked the bouncer after he grabbed her, the Press-Republican reported.

“The surveillance video clearly shows that Lagrave’s friend slapped her on the buttocks [beforehand],” Plattsburgh Police Chief Levi Ritter told the news outlet.”

 

Easy mistake to make, brows. I, too, Vulcan death grab every guy whose hand brushes my rear for fear of being roofied if he is allowed to stay standing and conscious. It’s the rational thing to do. Props to the bouncer for not reacting, but if you have friends who regularly sleep-choke you for shits and giggles, it may be time for new friends.  Looking at the video, though, it’s clear that Basic Betty was actually the ass grabber, and not the bouncer standing 5-10 feet away.

 

So I’m sure once Rembrownt saw the surveillance footage she was mortified and apologized profusely, right? Wrong.

 

“Lagrave maintains her claim that the bouncer grabbed her, and said the surveillance video captured the assault clearly, the Daily Mail reported.

“The bouncer was on my right side where I was grabbed,” she said. “If my friend hit me, she would have hit my left side. Not grabbed my right.”

Lagrave said that her friend told her she is “positive” that she never touched Lagrave’s backside.

“She would have told me she did it and stopped everything from taking place,” she added.

Lagrave also blamed the police for shaming her, and said that the town was simply believing the word of the bouncer because he is a man.

“People in this town have this mindset that men can do no wrong,” she railed. “The police were just trying to shame me. They never once listened to me.” “

Of course not, because, believe women. Keirah is all about believing women.

 

It’s a joke, not a dick, brows. Don’t take it so hard.

Of course your friend didn’t admit to goosing your bum! Look at this girl. If she wasn’t being so shitty about the whole thing after the fact, I’d be in awe. This tiny little waif of a woman went absolutely Macho Man Randy Savage on that ass.

She swung her arms like Harambe in a preschool and grabbed a man twice her size up by his neck

And squeezed the life out of him like a goddamn boa constrictor in uggs until he let loose like a freaking Redwood tree in a forest of sweaty 20 something.

And mighty mouse over here gave so little fucks that she held on for dear life and went right the fuck down with him, while her friend rushes over and futilely tries to catch them both with one arm

Before throwing her arms up in frustration as if this is not the first time she’s watched her friend body a random guy in a bar.

 

And then Keira gets up, wobbles on her feet a little, and walks the fuck away like it’s no big deal, you guys. Savage.

 

But, despite having the brute force of heavyweight champion  Daniel Cormier, she’s also a member of the New York branch of the pumpkin spice mafia…

Terrifying!

 

And hilariously, doesn’t even realize it.

You can’t mock them, sweetheart. You ARE one of them.

Now, I’m not a gender studies major or anything, and I’m hardly woke enough to keep up with this warrior princess, but I do suspect something else was at play on that fateful night.

 

Before choke-holding a bouncer to the floor and ending up in cuffs, maybe, juuuust maybe, you should be sure you can hold your liquor, princess. Either way, one thing is for certain – do NOT fuck with the Pumpkin Spice Punisher!

 

16 Comment(s)
  • Randall Guy
    November 20, 2018 at 12:19 pm

    Jesus, how embaressed must the “bouncer” be

  • Turtz McGurtz
    November 20, 2018 at 11:02 am

    There’s “good” turtleboy famous and there’s “bad” turtleboy famous. I propose that we should avoid good turtleboy famous.

  • Jim
    November 20, 2018 at 10:26 am

    She should be put in the ring with David Arquette

  • hank
    November 20, 2018 at 9:29 am

    The ultimate dilemma: you know she’s insane but her body is top notch and only has a short shelf life. Do you or don’t you? Myself, I am 100% diving head first into the crazy pond with this chick for a quick dip.

  • Independent Thinker
    November 20, 2018 at 7:33 am

    She is lucky to be alive. The bouncer should have broken her neck.

  • Brett Kavanaugh is GOD
    November 20, 2018 at 6:03 am

    #NeverBelieveWomen #LegalizeRape

  • Every Real Man
    November 19, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    What’s with the fuckin eyebrows?

    • Burlando Castile
      November 20, 2018 at 3:03 pm

      Caterpillars are squaring off. 

  • Battlestations!
    November 19, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Douche Canoe… And its leaking

  • The Coach
    November 19, 2018 at 9:26 pm

    She’s been groped by the entire freshman JV and varsity high school football teams and liked it. Now she bitches?

  • Wade Boggs Taint
    November 19, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    It’s cuntflaps like this that ruin erotic asphyxiation sex for everyone. The just take all the fun out of it

  • Filthy Cuhnt
    November 19, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    Bouncer should have broken the strap on bitches jaw then pissed on her ugly face . You wanna play like a man take it like a man. Then they should have dragged this filthy cbag by her mop and thrown her ugly azz down a flight of stairs and into the night where a random jig could walk by and pole stuff her

  • Clitty Litter
    November 19, 2018 at 7:32 pm

    She looks like the type that enjoys a good Blueberry Strudel.

  • whatevuh
    November 19, 2018 at 6:46 pm

    awesome photos, WTF ? Don’t you people preview anything before you post it . . . . what a fucking joke

  • Captain Mirgan
    November 19, 2018 at 5:38 pm

    What a drunken mess. She’ll quit drinking booze and go to wine and so on and so on. She’s a mess and always will be

  • Mike "Sarge" Riley
    November 19, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    I got a Sarge Salute in my pants. I’d let her wrestle me in my parents basement. She can wear my wrestling belts

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