No One Got Screwed Over By Nike More Than Maude The Fraud

Follow @TurtleboyNews on Twitter by clicking here.

Follow Turtleboy on Instagram by clicking here.

Follow and like the Turtleboy Sports Returns, and Phil Prentiss to keep up with the hilarious turtle rider commentary.

Want to advertise with Turtleboy? Email us at for more information.

If you like free speech and want to support what we’re doing, feel free to donate to the Turtle fund:







Hey fam – if you’d like to support Turtleboy and what we do here, feel free to hit the donate button at the top. We basically have to run this site like a Bernie Sanders campaign now since we’ve been blacklisted by Google and Facebook, due to the fact that rabid SJWs keep reporting our posts. Getting blacklisted by Google is a death sentence for most websites, since it’s much harder to monetize. And we all know the damage Facebook has done. We’re never going to stop fighting for free speech, but in the meantime the best way for turtle riders to fight back is to donate to the cause. Without you people none of this is possible. We love you all. 


There’s been a ton of controversy over the Colin Kaepernick Nike deal, and understandably so. A lot of of people think it was a bad choice, while others believe he is the second coming of Martin Luther King Jr. Both sides however are missing out on perhaps the biggest snub in the history of wokeness:

How do you not give this award to Maude the Fraud? She’s overcome more than Kaepernick could ever dream. She survived a 4 way gang rape, beat cancer, got moved around from school to school because everyone was so mean to her, dropped out of high school, broke 4 world records in the ultra marathon, then went on to win beauty pageants before resigning after bravely standing up to a #MeToo joke that literally gave me AIDS.

Is there anything she can’t do?

The reality is that Maude and Kaepernick are basically the same exact thing:

  • Both of them were successful in their ventures at a young age (football, pageants)
  • As both of them got older they became less relevant and pulled a stunt to attempt to remain relevant
  • Both of them feigned outrage and raged against establishment with a meaningless protest
  • Both of them were devoid of facts and knowledge about the causes they were pretending to care about
  • Both of them tended to avoid speaking publicly about the causes they claimed to care so much about, and stuck to hashtags in order to get likes and retweets for their wokeness
  • Both of them got pats on the back from CNN and other SJWs who were using them as pawns
  • Both of them benefitted financially for their faux outrage

We hereby demand that Nike immediately appoint Maude the Fraud to be their new co-face of the Just Do It movement.

20 Comment(s)
  • Richyrich
    September 5, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    You guys are reaching with this one. Patience, it’s only a matter of time before Maude does something new that will be TBS-worthy.

    • Mr. Puffy Pants
      September 5, 2018 at 5:26 pm

      Maude – our TB nation turns its lonely eyes to you!

  • The Doctor
    September 5, 2018 at 1:20 pm

    Laughed out loud.
    Maude the Fraud is the gift that keeps on giving!

  • maudernliving
    September 5, 2018 at 9:54 am

    Still obsessed with me? Even your readers are tiring of these postings. At this point i’m laughing because you’re so pathetic. BTW i stand for the anthem always.
    This will be my last reply. Maybe if i stop paying attention to you then you will go away.

    • Ef em
      September 5, 2018 at 10:12 am

      Coming here to defend yourself is balsey as hell. I don’t even care about the back story anymore. I think that you should embrace the opportunity to prove yourself. This may not be your fan base but nobody can deny that you were put through hell here even if was your own doing. Personally I think your brand will be more authentic after having made some mistakes.

    • screilly
      scott reilly
      September 5, 2018 at 10:23 am

      TBS only real news outlet ..far from pathetic-what is pathetic? Lying about being raped, hurts real victims everywhere. Lying about having cancer, cheating in races, virtue signaling and quitting pageant for a joke you didn’t hear, fake ass apology- if TBS was pathetic you would not have been dropped by sponsors. You are the poster child for BPD, NPD.

    • Stunt Penis
      September 5, 2018 at 11:45 am

      what’s even sadder than someone posting as Maude are the idiots who think it really is Maude posting.

      • Drago
        September 5, 2018 at 3:55 pm

        Or the idiots that think the other idiots really believe it’s her

    • Drago
      September 5, 2018 at 1:04 pm

      If you were truly repentant of your past transgressions you would put a bag over your head and post nudes for others to mock

      • Turtz McGurtz
        September 5, 2018 at 3:18 pm

        If she posts nudes all is forgiven!!

  • deflateddoritodinks
    September 5, 2018 at 9:52 am

    Why is this piece of shit reloading pages?

  • TJB
    September 5, 2018 at 9:41 am

    No, you can’t buy Nike’s or luxury SUV’s with food stamps. But that won’t stop the island people. You sell the stamps.. Convert them into cash and use the real money to buy your SUV. Making a high monthly payment is a breeze when you don’t have to pay for silly things like Rent, Heat, Electric, Gas & Water. And just register the SUV to Consuela, who still lives on the island. Simple. It’s not like DTS is going to question it… Dat’ would be RAYCISS!

    • Fred Knessl
      September 5, 2018 at 3:39 pm

      Godawful pain in the ass. I wonder if this is why the quantity of comments has dropped off…
      Lookit the little thingie in the bottom left corner. It takes a few seconds to appear and has a little pause button on it. Hit the pause button and the play button appears. It seems to activate when you scroll through any of the content?

  • Sir Wilfred Death
    September 5, 2018 at 6:46 am

    Sick of Maude but your comparison is apt. I used to think corporations were just soulless, evil entities that couldn’t get worse. They have. I’m beginning to think as the other poster said that they are making calculated decisions on whom to offend. They’ve determined that 1/2 the country can be jettisoned as customers and they will make even more money. Soon our political leaning will be identified by the brand of toilet paper we use. Jeez.

  • Waste of time
    September 5, 2018 at 6:33 am

    Dis tew much. Move on. If there was new info/material, cool. But there’s not. This was dumb.

  • Chester
    September 5, 2018 at 5:56 am

    I’m pretty sure Nike just made a business choice regarding the demographics that will overwhelmingly buy a fuckload more shoes now. The “fuck the police” crowd loves it.

    • Stunt Penis
      September 5, 2018 at 7:26 am

      But none of them have jobs, and they’re all on welfare.

      Can you buy Nikes with food stamps?

      • ElJefe72
        September 5, 2018 at 12:02 pm

        If you’ve read TB long enough, you know the answer is a resounding “yes”.

  • Patience doogooder
    September 4, 2018 at 11:35 pm

    Waiting for TB to break how Massachusetts police covered up 1000s of catholic sex abuse allegations. But #bluelivesmatter

    • I saw that meme too
      September 5, 2018 at 6:51 am

      Go back to Reddit 

Comment on this Post


Nostalgic Facebook Commentators Are Really Pissed Off About Snow Days For Kids
Guy Who Tried Hiding In Tree To Flee Cops on I-290 Earns Moron of the Week Award
Auburn Fan Who Refused To Bet On Florida State Loses Chance To Win Free $25,000 Is Giant Moron