Northbridge Noodlepoon Claims Entire Town Is Attacking Him For Shady GoFundMe To Pay Off Delinquent School Lunches So Kids Don’t Have To Eat Cheese Sandwiches

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Everyone’s town/community Facebook group has one or two loudmouths who always has to insert themselves into everything, can’t stop posting, and has a tendency to annoy everyone. But you haven’t seen anything quite like Michael Dutra from Northbridge:

He’s a concerned citizen/vigilante who is not happy about this article he read in the Turtlegram and Gazette about school lunch. The issue is something we blogged about a couple weeks ago – what do you do with a kid whose parents aren’t paying the bill? Give them food or deny them?

Wendy Timmons, an AFSCME Council 93 union representative, worked for four years at Northbridge Middle School cafeteria, preparing and serving food and working as a cashier. Northbridge families prepay for school lunches through an account, or students can purchase food with cash. If a student’s account doesn’t have enough money in it, the student can accumulate up to $11 in charges. Beyond that, students won’t be able to purchase food unless they pay cash.

Ms. Timmons described students who would come through the line with a regular hot meal, but if their account had reached the $11 maximum debt and they didn’t have cash to buy the food, the cashier would “find a way to be discreet to signal the child was in debt. We would hold our hand up in the shape of a C, signaling the food service staff to swap out the child’s hot meal plate for the cold cheese sandwich. We’d have to throw the hot meal away because it was already served to the child. Of course, all the other students would see this, some would laugh. Some children wouldn’t go through the line” because of fear of this shaming.

As of November, Northbridge food service staff were instructed to serve students in debt only a cheese sandwich, with no fruit or vegetable, which goes against USDA guidelines, according to Ms. Timmons. Yet the student’s account would be charged for a full $2.75 meal.

“A student shouldn’t have to worry about, ‘My mom can’t pay the bill,’ ” she said.

It was difficult for staff to have to handle, as well.

“The main point of our job is to make sure that they get that nutritious meal each day,” said Ms. Timmons. “Cafeteria workers shouldn’t have to be the police.”

I think most of us would agree that kids should not be punished for the sins of their parents. But at the same time schools shouldn’t be exploited by deadbeat parents who hide behind their kids. Something’s gotta give.

Look, I’ve been there before. My folks gave me $10 for the entire week for school lunch. If I blew it all by Tuesday it was up to me to figure a way to eat. And I did. You learn how to shmooz the lunch ladies, or tell them that you get free lunch, or just give them a guilt trip. Either way, it’s impossible to starve. This is America. If you can’t figure out a way to eat then Darwin’s gonna get you. That’s just science.

Mikey had a different solution though. He began sharing this GoFundMe on the Notably Northbridge Facebook group, started by an alleged non-profit, that was raising money to pay off delinquent balances so kids could stave off the humiliation of a cheese sandwich.

Oh look, they’re heroes. How virtuous of them.

Some were skeptical about this, since GoFundMe’s have a tendency to be shady, and it’s odd to see private citizens who no one seems to know personally sharing a fundraiser for a service that should be paid for by the taxpayers and the children’s parents. So they did what people do when they don’t know the answers to things – ask questions:

Naturally he took these perfectly rational questions and found a way to be victimized by them like you’ve never seen before. Poor Stacie in particular took the brunt of it since she had the audacity to point out that GoFundMe collects a percentage. It was like Kevin Lynch all over again, except without the murderer. She was “attacking” him….

She wasn’t nearly outraged enough about the children eating cheese sandwiches…

She was protecting her corrupt “friends” on the school committee….

Apparently everyone in the group had been making fun of his kids and pointing out that he had no friends, thus running his good name through the mud….

He simply would not stop….

It’s like nothing we’ve ever seen before.

Of course this is what he really wanted….

“Instead of saying thanks for helping with the lunches.”

There it is. There’s his motivation. He wants you to thank him and tell him what a great guy he is for saving kids from cheese sandwiches. He doesn’t want you questioning where the money’s going or dumb things like that. Didn’t you get the memo? He’s Northbridge’s white knight!

He apparently wants some guy on the school committee to resign for unknown reasons. Likely because he was attacked by him with words on the Internet too….

It’s not easy being this brave. Dude is just trying to make sure every kid in Northbridge gets a meal, and that damn corrupt school committee wants them to starve. But when you’re a renegade like this you have to do what’s best for the kids, consequences be damned. Someone get this man a courage trophy!!

So what did the guy on the school committee say to him that got him all hot and bothered? Sounds pretty bad…..

So the guy came forward to explain what went down…..

Then the big ol’ jerk had the nerve to tell him to quit being a victim, which is apparently the only thing he knows how to do…..

Oh for fuck’s sake. I’m not even this bad when my flow is the heaviest.

This is his M.O. He goes around doing it to literally everyone. Like how he claimed a guy using sarcasm was a “form of abuse” against him…..

He’s evidently started his own movement in town and is holding meetings to fix the corruption involving cheese sandwiches…

Another guy used a popular meme, which of course Mikey said, “you know this is offensive to me right?”

Because what isn’t offensive to him?

So where was all this harassment he was talking about? Don’t worry, he’s got screenshots of this spunky gal named Darlene Clark who victimized him by harassing him. And what he meant by that was, she had the audacity to respond to him when he began to pester her privately….

This poor guy!! Middle aged soccer moms all over town are just kicking the shit out of him by responding to his insanity!!

But guys were being mean too, and he had a block a few of them as well….

He’s single too ladies!! Shocking, I know! Where’s Abi at? I think we might’ve finally found the one!

It wasn’t just him who was victimized though. It was his extended family. He began messaging people, claiming they were racist for attacking his dark skinned brother from Dubai…

Because it was only a matter of time until this woke white dude found a way to toss in the race card.

He demanded that strangers acknowledge that he was indeed wronged and had been viciously attacked with words from people who had the audacity to comment on his rantings, before engaging in further conversation….

Great point Mikey. We never actually witnessed slavery or our friends being raped, therefore all these things he’s claiming about being attacked must be true. This guy seems perfectly stable.

Then another woman with prior dealings with him showed up and things got interesting…..


“Why are you attacking me right now.” God, I’d like to grab him by the pussy and give him a fish hooking to remember.

This was apparently a former tenant, who poor, victimized Mikey decided to shame publicly…..


Oh man, that was getting juicy!! Too bad the admin cut him off. Because of him there’s actually a new policy of shutting down all posts that he decides to take over. Yup, he’s that guy in your town’s Facebook group. Except worse. Much, much worse.

Clarence Woods Emerson made an appearance in the group and began to like posts that were critical of him. And since this guy’s bat shit insane he went through all of the likes and messaged poor Clarence to defend his good name…..

“I definitely made enemies by getting kids their lunch.”

Be more full of yourself. You can’t.

There was more of the usual, “everyone’s corrupt,” “the school committee wants kids to eat cheese sandwiches,” blah, blah, blah…..

He said he didn’t want a pat on the back because he “knows he did the right thing”

Yea, you totally weren’t in it for the thank you dude.


Then he claimed people were talking about his kids….

Of course. When the race card fails, just hide behind your kids. Because they definitely wanna get dragged into the shitshow you call life. What exactly did they say about your kids?

Oh I see. His kids don’t actually go to the Northbridge Public Schools, yet he’s trying to set policy for the NPS. Yea, how dare they bring up this relevant piece of information that reveals what a self serving douche whistle he is.

And the racism about this brother – turns out they mis-countried him….

Then he must’ve realized that instead of giving Turtleboy a story, he was about to become the primary antagonist in a Turtleboy story, so the ass kissing commenced…


Oh right, he also donated to a “poor single mom” in town. Is there anything he can’t do?

And why don’t his kids go to the NPS?

Not good enough for him. Shocking that he would find the school system to be inadequate. He seems so easy to please.

I don’t even know what he’s talking about at this point. Nor do I care. I fully expect Clarence to hear back from him shortly after publishing this though. Luckily he’s suspended for 30 days again and won’t be able to respond.

Either way, we all have that annoying guy or gal on our town’s Facebook group, but we’ve never seen anything quite like the Northbridge Noodlepoon before….

24 Comment(s)
  • Dee
    September 12, 2018 at 9:49 pm

    Just wanted to post an update. Look at the t&g for the results of the go fund me…

  • Dichel "Deep Throat" Mutra
    May 16, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    Follow the money, man! It’s corruption everywhere. Look to the school committee. Who has the most to gain? Who has contacts with the Cabot cheese consortium? Hmmm. Who has ties to the Nissen bakery? Follow your nose… Who smells of fresh bread at the school committee meetings? Ask yourself that. It’s not naan bread… Not chala bread… Certainly not pita, you racist bastards. Our kids eat cheese and bread and who gets rich?

  • Abaddon
    May 16, 2018 at 1:32 pm

    The parents knew they couldn’t afford children, so they decided to raise them on the guilt of others.

    Hammurabi would say that for the equal amount of time that a consciously irresponsibly reared child receives care from others, the parents should be enslaved.

  • Real_Finn
    May 16, 2018 at 11:11 am

    Mikey is such a whiny bitch. My God – his Facebook (quick – get there before he makes it private) is full of passive/aggressive rhetoric, (“I’m a force of Reckoning”, “Be Nice to Each Other”, “I can be a bigger asshole than you.”, “Love always wins”).



    You didn’t come up with anything creative, innovative or even cost-effective (why use GFM when they take money off the top? Why not use a real account – in a *trusted* person’s name?). You don’t because you can’t take constructive criticism. When anyone tries to give you advice or actually work with you on a viable solution – you act like a child. You continually rant that someone is against you, a bully, anti-feeding-kids, etc. when they offer up other solutions or ask significant questions.

    You became the person no one wants to work with. In essence, you are the person that ruins things.

    Let’s go bra shopping! We ‘ll stop for manicures and pedicures. Maybe we’ll be naughty and get (split) a strawberry daiquiri – how does that sound? You’ll feel like a million bucks!!

    Hands Mike a Tissue,

  • Some guy from east of 495
    May 16, 2018 at 11:01 am

    Northbridge? When did that town become stylish? When I think of Northbridge, I picture pickups with dual mufflers, goatees, Patriots paraphernalia, Dunkin Donuts, light american beers, Marlboros, and pools above ground. Someone please help me with what is going on in these armpits of Massachusetts.

  • Rick Shaw
    Rick Shaw
    May 16, 2018 at 8:42 am

    First off any parent who can’t afford 2.75 for a school lunch has failed at life. Do you want to bet some of these slobs are getting their 3.00 large coffees at Dunkins??? It also sounds like this punk can’t get his kids an IEP. Frequently these IEP parents are also looking for a handout.

    • True Reality Speaks
      True Reality Speaks
      May 16, 2018 at 11:14 am

      Nailed it. Every spoiled brat that’s never been told No by their lazy, selfish parents brings that entitled BS to school and disrupts the class for everyone else. When the school finally pushes back (after usually bending over backwards for the kid), the parents counter with insisting the kid has a “disability” and needs an IEP, special services/accommodations, etc – which results in the kids that really need these programs getting screwed.

    • Real_Finn
      May 16, 2018 at 12:31 pm


      Meh. I’m kinda fwith you – but then again – I’m torn.

      In my “other life” – I watched kids regularly get shamed for the crimes of their fathers. It had nothing to do with them – but unfortunately, they get the ridicule, shame and embarrassment. They often become the focus of shit they had nothing to do with.

      You can’t make parents love or take care of their children (or make them not engage in shitty behavior that will bring attention to their kids). If they don’t care – they won’t ever care. They have zero fucks given regarding the ramifications of shaming or letting their kids go hungry.

      Wish I had a solution – I don’t. But that guy Dutra won’t allow for a real discussion or possible working solution for people that might.


  • True Reality Speaks
    Mirror Mirror
    May 16, 2018 at 8:16 am

    Auburn’s buffoon is Bob Tatro. Some old, delusional, self-righteous wannabe that thinks anyone gives a shit what he thinks. Every town has a few clowns that don’t realize everyone is laughing at them. Sutton has Old Balls, Worcester has Tracy Novick. And still they persist!

  • whatevuh
    May 16, 2018 at 7:29 am

    What is wrong with these fucking parents? Make the kid a fucking bologna sandwich and a couple cookies and stop mooching off the system !!

    • deflateddoritodinks
      May 16, 2018 at 8:40 am

      But that would cut back on their meth fund. Northbridge not to be confused with Northboro.

  • Kevin Perry
    May 15, 2018 at 11:37 pm

    I get lunch free for the next 14 years. Thanks Turtleboi

    • Kevin Lynch
      May 16, 2018 at 8:51 am

      I had free breakfast, lunch and dinner for quite a few years too!

  • Y
    May 15, 2018 at 9:13 pm

    I thought this was a broad with all the bitching s/he does!
    Way to literally turn around everything and make it about yourself you stuck pump!
    Cuck you, you’re not welcome, nor are you appreciated. Go home!

    • Mark D
      May 15, 2018 at 9:34 pm

      Wow this guy sucks. Needs to get a fucking life. But at least he’s now internet famous.

    • Amazingly Boring
      May 15, 2018 at 10:18 pm

      Schools shouldn’t be in the lunch business. Bring your own food, no bring = no eat!!

      He looks like a meme for obsessed stalker guy.

      Tard vs tard, small town dip-o-shits arguing about nothing, an amazingly nothing story.

  • Spunky
    May 15, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    Talking about having to “backpedal”…. If he had just posted the imaginary attacking comments that he supposedly was receiving, I would have been able to follow this blog. He’s definitely off his nut!

  • Jack Straw from Wichita
    Jack Straw from Wichita
    May 15, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    I think that this guy was the prototype for PC Principal from South Park.

    “Alright everyone, listen up. I don’t know about you, but I for one am sick and tired of all the hate speech and micro-aggressions against our species. We have a new enemy out there. An almost invisible foe that is so bigoted, so racially biased they actually think we should all die. They are trying to attract our youth using tactics that are underhanded and unfair. But no matter how hard they hit us, we cannot let them take from us our PC. And so I have been asked to stay on as your principal. A lot of changes will happen in the coming months. The bottom line is that the only thing that distinguishes those who want to kill us from those who don’t is that we have the burning desire for social justice. We are at war, but the only way to win this war is to be as understanding, non-biased, and politically correct as possible.

  • My Dr, does testicle sew ons if this snowflake wants them
    May 15, 2018 at 7:52 pm

    This snowflake broad seems bat shit crazy. She plays the victim quite handily. Transgendered snowflake with chin muff. She is also like batman with her good deeds for the kids getting lunches.

  • Forrest Plump
    Buffalo Bill’s Cellar Hole
    May 15, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    It rubs the lotion in, or it gets the hose again

  • Karate Kunt
    May 15, 2018 at 7:17 pm

    yet another guy who compensates for male pattern baldness by growing a beard, how original…

    • Wwy
      May 16, 2018 at 12:48 am

      We have to feed the goat fucking kikes in Israel no money for Americans the Jews stole it for their holocausts. Hitler created Israel in his image the Jews are his chosen gas heads. Donate ovens and lightbulbs to Iran.

      • G.I. Joe
        May 16, 2018 at 1:36 pm

        We should just sanction Russia and bomb the fuck out of them. Their fake badass bullshit is tiresome, and we fist fucked them in 1990. They’re generally revolting, they smell like dogshit and compost, and they really contribute nothing to the world. We should go back and finish them. Right, bitch?

      • G.I. Joe
        May 16, 2018 at 1:42 pm

        Also, it’s great that we’re pissing off the insignificant Iranians. They’re great slaparound bitches, and they’re also nothing but problems. I notice that any time I grab an Iranian woman’s ass, since they always dress like sluts, I make sure I put my middle finger against her little Persian asshole because I’m thinking about fucking it. Of course, her pussy Iranian husband wouldn’t do anything about it unless he wanted his teeth smashed.

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