Here we go, you guys. I’ve done it now – I’ve pissed off the intellectual midgets of the Flat Earth movement, and they’re coming for us…again.

At the beginning of the week I wrote this blog exposing Nathan Thompson, the creator of Facebook’s largest gathering of gullible halfwits and the bewildered public who laugh at them, for the dimwitted, shady con artist he undoubtedly is. I mean, really – look at this fucking cretin.

Does that look like brilliant scientific mind to you?

How about an enlightened religious leader?

Yeah….me neither. All I see is a unemployable ratchet preaching bullshit on social media. The Earth isn’t flat, but the brim of your hat is, Nathan.

We see you, hoodrat. You’re not the first ratchet to talk about Jesus in between moronic coked out ramblings.

Naturally, though, because his followers are a bunch of lemmings who appear to have been spoon fed lead paint chips as young children, they were upset with us. Especially this fucking douche canoe.

I’m not sure if this is correlation or causation, but these fucking numbnuts all seem to look a lot like the guy at EDM festivals who wants to sell you Ecstasy tablets, crystal meth and acid hits out of his Etnies backpack.

And then suddenly I realized, the earth is flat!

Interesting. If you think Nathan is a chud, wait til you see Mike. Here’s the highlight reel:

• He is a raging Anti-Semite who somehow thinks Turtleboy Qualifies as “Hate Speech”

For fuck’s sake, Mike.  Get it together.

• He’s called for Mass reporting of our Facebook page and is spamming us with bad reviews because we hurt Nathan Thompson’s feelz.

You’re “showing us your might”, Mike? That’s it, that’s what you got? Very intimidating – I don’t know if we’re going to survive a couple bad reviews decrying our profanity. My own readers are harsher on me than that.

• He’s so smart that he’s deduced my identity, and Uncle Turtleboy’s in less than 24 hours…..completely incorrectly.

Oh yeah, we definitely messed with the “wrong homie.” I’m quaking in my boots. I don’t know who Eileen is, but she’s not me. And Clarence Woods Emerson is a sock account, you literal fucking shit-for-brains. Want to unmask Turtleboy? Let me help you.

We’ll give you another 24 hours to figure this one out, buddy.

So even though we are clearly dealing with a group of MENSA elite, when I saw this little nugget pop up –

I was thrilled. Nathan “Dumber than rocks” Thompson, it would be my honor and privilege to debate you. I know you’re really super smart and successful, living in your car selling pamphlets and all – but I’ll take my chances. Email me at bristolturtlechick@gmail.com to firm up details. My readers will most likely spam your page and your stupid flat earth group with this blog, so no excuses, ok, pal? I’ll give you 48 hours to lock this thing in – if you don’t, we’ll consider it a concession, and I will own you. I’d rather just debate than outright own you, though – because you are the human equivalent of dumpster diving for used clothing: prove me wrong.