Monday is by far the most important Department of Justice meeting in Worcester. The topic will be social media. Wanna play a fun drinking game? Go to this meeting at Worcester Tech on Monday and take a shot every time someone mentions Turtleboy Sports. You won’t last 30 minutes.
Anyway, this is especially relevant because you just KNOW the hippies will be prepared for this. They’re going to send a hippie army down there to point out all the ways that Turtleboy Sports is racist. And since they can’t point to one single blog that is actually “racist” they’ve apparently decided to sabotage us from the inside. Some real covert hippie tricks if I’ve ever seen it.
Allow me to explain.
The other day we published a blog about Dylann Roof, the dickweed racist who killed nine black people in South Carolina. We basically went on a tangent about how stupid the confederate flag is. Only a treasonous loser flies the flag of an imaginary country full of traitors that only really existed in their simple southern minds.
This of course has led to a barrage of stupid comments, like this one:
Sure, the confederate flag that this genius is supporting is literally the symbol for a group of assholes who attacked the United States army at Fort Sumpter, invaded Pennsylvania, and eventually aided the escape of the assassin of the greatest President in American. But please, tell me more about how Turtleboy’s opposition to this treasonous flag is “anti-US” because that seems to make a shit ton of sense right now.
1. The American Revolution WAS an insurrection. Then they won. So they can call it whatever the fuck they wanna call it after that, because the USA became a real country. If England had won, obviously the American flag wouldn’t be flying on British territory. Obviously. Winners can put up whatever flag they want. Losers don’t get shit. This is how reality works.
2. Turtleboy Sports isn’t Fox News. Perhaps this commenter is confused. Allow me to explain. Turtleboy Sports answers to nobody. We see something and we call it as we see it. We don’t have to “prove” that we’re not racist. Everyone knows we’re not racist. Obviously. So no, pointing out that the flag of a bunch of pussy traitors who surrendered to the US army shouldn’t fly in the capital city of an American state doesn’t mean we’re “kissing liberal butt.” It means we’re voicing common sense.
Anyway, this is probably one of the few times the Circlejerk and Turtleboy agree on an issue. And it couldn’t have come at a worse time for them, since they’re anxiously trying to show the DOJ that we’re some sort of racist Worcester click bait. So what did Old Balls, Chris Robarge, Kevin Ksen, Joyce McNickles, Sonya Conner, Keesha Casserole, Marianna Nation of Islam and crew do? They got desperate and started sabotaging the blog. Couldn’t possibly be more obvious. For instance, when we put up our poll questions, it’s almost always specifically designed to be a landslide in the favor of the obvious choice. Like this one:
Clearly this poll was designed for you to vote “yes.” Normally this goes exactly as planned and 3 out of 100 people will vote no, just to be an asshole. But this poll’s results were suspect to say the least:
Hmmmmm. You’re telling me 162 people legitimately voted for the wrong answer? Something’s not right. I also noticed the comments that normally would be highly rated, had lots of down votes:
See, all of those comments make sense and are evidence that the vast majority of TBS readers are logical and not the least bit racist. Then you see comments like this, which suspiciously are voted highly, despite being really, really dumb:
Yes, the Civil War was about state’s rights. Particularly the right to enslave black people. And yes, there were blacks who “owned” slaves in the South. Almost all of them were former slaves who were purchasing the freedom of family members and owned them on paper only. Also, there was not a single black person in the south who legally owned a white slave. Besides, that this assessment is spot on.
Ya see what’s happened here? Old Balls and his fantastic friends have conspired to try to make Turtleboy readers look like racist rednecks.
But unfortunately for them, we’re onto their schemes and tricks now. Ya see, the Circlejerk cannot possibly survive without racism. But unfortunately for them Worcester is probably the least racist city in the country.
So the only way for them to profit by selling their “diversity trainings,” get their friends like Cara Berg-Powers appointed to six figure salary positions, and create new unnecessary positions like “Chief Diversity Officer” (which almost definitely will be handed to Kevin Ksen), is to manufacture racism that doesn’t exist.
Don’t you get it? Don’t you see? Are you following the money yet? We’ve already shown you that the Mosaic Cultural Complex has conned the City Council and embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars illegally from the taxpayers. They know we’re watching, and they know the only way to continue their scheme is to take down Turtleboy so the Ed Augustus gravy train keeps bringing the checks on the first of the month.
Look, they tried the boycott, and that obviously failed miserably. They tried to engage us in a war of PR and got eviscerated. They tried to get Clive McFarlane to be their soldier and turn the public against us. All of these have failed. Now they’re out of options so they’re doing this.
So here’s what you can do. Go to the DOJ meeting on Monday. It’s gonna be a rowdy-down. Print out every racist thing you’ve ever seen the Circlejerk say. RBG has some classics if anyone has those saved. Once you get in your discussion groups and people start blaming TBS for racial tensions in this city, show them who the real racists are. Point out that while we’re raising money for really good charities, and exposing cheaters, frauds, and liars, they’re on our blog trying to sabotage us.